Falling
by Shinosuke
Summary: They were falling. They could feel it happening but they were both completely helpless to stop it. But what Harry still didn't know was whether they were falling to pieces or falling in place.
1. Chapter 1

-**Note from Shinosuke**-

Blah blah blah, no attention span. I felt the urge to write something else and so I am. Read it. Or else!

Or else… uh… the rabid fangirls will get you? Oh you _are_ the rabid fangirls. Hmmm.. I'll think of something. XD

-**Disclaimer**-

If I owned Harry Potter and all of the characters do you think that I'd be here? It's called fanfiction for a reason folks.

* * *

**Falling**

**Chapter 1**

It was an accident. One great big mishap as most things pertaining to Harry Potter always are. Yes, it was an accident. Or at least it had started that way. But the accident had turned to impulse. And Harry was simply too smashed to refuse his impulses. Harry never really drank before, but tonight was the exception.

He'd talked to Dumbledore earlier that day and been told that because of the escalating war, it would not be safe for Harry to return to school next year. So even though this was only his sixth year. It would be his last. The finality of that was staggering. Hogwarts was really the only home he'd ever known. And after this year he'd never be able to return. Not as a student at least.

It was a deep blow. Deeper than Harry wanted to admit. After this year he wouldn't be a child anymore. He wouldn't be able to cling to the naïve thoughts and feelings of youth. He'd have to grow up. Face the harsh reality of a war that he never asked for.

After he'd gotten back from talking with Dumbledore, He'd been sitting in the common room. Seamus was talking about the time he'd gotten really drunk or something. Harry wasn't really paying attention. He hardly did anymore. He just sat with his normal expression on his face, added a few noncommittal replies here and there, and everyone left him alone.

Of course he wasn't lonely. He was sure he wasn't, or at least he was trying to convince himself he wasn't. And that was good enough. Though he was starting to understand what the weird looking chick from movie Titanic had been talking about. About screaming in a crowded room, and no one even glances in your direction. It was one of his aunt Petunia's favorites and he frequently had to listen to it from his room.

In any case, Harry was convinced that he was fine…mostly. But then again… Here he was sitting in the middle of a group of his friends and he could hardly relate to them. Talking about their carefree parties and enjoying their freedom and youth. It struck Harry that he'd never really had that; he'd never really even been drunk before. He'd never _really_ done a lot of things.

It seemed as though his childhood had been rudely snatched out from under his feet. And he deserved some fun god damn it. He deserved a little happiness before he spent the rest of his life chasing after Voldemort. So he made a spur of the moment decision. He'd do all the things he'd never done before. Everyone else had been doing tons more than him, anyway. First thing on his list: get stinking drunk.

He went up to his bed and rummaged through his trunk till he found the present he had gotten for Sirius. He had kept it over the summer and held it since then, not sure what to do with it. But now he finally had a purpose for the long neglected gift. Obviously, Sirius couldn't do much with it now… It was a bottle of fire whiskey. But the glass was thick and dark like a wine bottle. And the best part, it never emptied, so long as you never looked down the neck of it.

Harry stared at the bottle for a moment and he felt the shimmer of magic go through the air. He'd felt this sort of thing before. The kind of feeling that this decision was pivotal to his future. But he was too bitter with the way things were currently to really care. He pulled off the cap and took a deep swig straight from the bottle.

The alcohol burned all the way down his throat before settling in his stomach, slowly warming him from the inside out.

Feeling much too silly sitting in his room alone with a bottle of whiskey, he headed out to walk the halls. Even though it was past curfew, he was already breaking one rule by drinking at school. If he was going to hell, he might as well do it thoroughly.

Hardly anyone even looked up at him as he left the common room. And no one questioned him.

He knew where he was heading. He'd found that place by accident as well. He'd been heading back from the owlery after sending off a letter when he heard Filch coming up the stairs. In a panic he'd ducked into a small alcove that he'd never noticed before. There was a door.

He glanced over his shoulder only once before opening it and going inside. It was a quiet little circular room. The floor was like mosaic of odd shaped dark flat stones that somehow fit together in a circular pattern. It had an arched ceiling that seemed much too high to be possible with wooden rafters crisscrossing back and forth. And a large beautiful window that over looked the grounds. The window even had a long, low window seat.

Harry was more than proud of his find, but he didn't tell anyone. Not even Ron and Hermione. It would be his little secret.

And so Harry was sure no one would be there now. He thought he'd probably already drank more than a bottle of Fire whiskey. But it kept refilling so he couldn't be sure.

His head felt light and he couldn't really feel his feet on the ground anymore. But still he continued up to his secret tower room.

When he got there he stumbled and opened the door clumsily. He was surprised to see a pale figure sitting at the window seat, outlined by the moonlight. At first he thought he must be dreaming. Or hallucinating. But no, Draco Malfoy really was sitting there, staring down at a piece of parchment in his hands.

"Malfoy?" Harry asked incredulously.

Draco gasped and whipped his head around to see who it was.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Potter?" he said conspicuously wiping at his eyes.

_Draco Malfoy? Crying? You've got to be kidding…_ Harry thought as he stumbled forward.

"I could ask you the same." Harry mumbled still in disbelief.

"Yeah well it's none of your goddamned business. Get out."

"No." Harry said firmly before going to sit on the opposite side of the long, stone window seat.

Draco sneered at him venomously. Harry shrugged him off. He had bigger fish to fry than Malfoy. Their childhood rivalry was old news and really not worth the effort now that Voldemort was back and gaining strength every day. Harry glanced down and saw that Draco too was nursing a bottle of alcohol. But his looked like an expensive wine of some sort.

Harry scoffed at the frilly labeled bottle and took a swig from his own.

"So the Golden Boy is on a drinking binge, hm?" Draco jeered.

"And if I am?" Harry countered.

Draco shrugged, "What the fuck does it matter to me anyway. But I'm glad to know I can always trust a Gryffindor to ruin every good thing I ever have. Thanks a fucking lot." He said standing as though to leave.

"Whatever, Malfoy. You've been a bastard since your first day here. If I've interrupted your emotional alone time consider it karma."

Draco puffed up indignantly, "I was not having '_emotional alone time'_. I came here to think."

_and cry like a girl…_ Harry thought. He didn't say it though. He was too busy drinking again.

"Actually," Draco said sitting back down determinedly, "I was here first, you leave."

"I'm not going anywhere. Ignore me for all I care."

Draco was silent for a long while. Harry almost thought he was really ignoring him before he spoke again. This time in surprisingly less hostile tones.

"Can I have some of that?" He said referring to Harry's fire whiskey.

"Why? You've got your own."

"I swiped this from Snape's office. A gift I believe and not very alcoholic. It's all gone anyway."

Harry was a little taken aback by how civil Draco was being. And he was too drunk to reason very much but he decided, _what the hell. It's not like I'll ever see the bastard again. This is my last year._

"Sure." Harry slurred out as he handed the whiskey to Draco, "But don't look down the neck of the bottle."

Draco raised one perfectly shaped eyebrow in question before tilting his head back and taking a long drink.

"Thanks, Potter." He said sliding the bottle over the smooth stones back to Harry.

"Don't say I never gave you anything." Harry joked.

It occurred to him that he was alone with Draco Malfoy, his hated enemy. It occurred to him that he probably shouldn't be here. He probably should have left as soon as he realized someone else was here. But it also occurred to him that that would be his normal reaction. Go back to the common room and be the perfect Golden Boy for all his fans.

But where was the adventure in that?

"So what's this all about? Granger dump you?"

Harry scowled, "No. I just decided that I was going to do all of the things I've never done before. Getting shitfaced being the first on my list."

Draco chuckled a little, "So what else haven't you done?"

"Lots of things."

"Name one."

"Well, I've personally never pleasured a Hippogriff, but that's not on my to-do list." Harry said exasperated at Draco's quick questions.

Draco giggled and Harry couldn't help but laugh at him, not with him. Draco Malfoy was a giggly drunk. How hilarious was that? Of all the sounds and words he expected to come from those pure blood lips, that girlishly cute giggle had not been it.

And they continued drinking, having somehow temporarily put aside their animosity. Harry hardly tasted the alcohol anymore. He didn't really care what he did. This was his last year. His last year as himself. Next year, he'd become the Boy-Who-Lived-To-Fight-Voldemort. Everything he did now wouldn't matter later.

Harry felt a wave of depression settling over him. He felt suddenly very alone and helpless. Draco seemed to notice the change in his demeanor but said nothing. Harry was grateful for that. It seemed as though all of his emotions about his life and war were welling up in his chest. He tried to control it but he felt it was dangerously close to breaking free and flooding him entirely.

So even though Draco was a giggly drunk, Harry was apparently an emotional one.

He felt such an acute sense of worthlessness that he nearly whimpered. What was left of his life exactly? He would most likely die trying to fight Voldemort. And even if he didn't, what would he do? He wasn't very good at any one thing in particular. He'd thought about being an Auror. But was the point of that if Voldemort was dead?

All his life, he was a nobody, and even now he was just a famous nobody. No one cared anything about him as a person. And the entire wizarding the world, the world that he'd thought was so much better than living with the Dursley's, was more than content to watch him die for their benefit.

Even when he did, they would only mourn the loss of Harry Potter: The boy-who-lived. Not Harry Potter, the boy who could lose at wizards chess like no other and still laughed at stupid, worn out jokes. No one knew him for who he really was, beyond the cover of fame, behind his defenses. Hell, Harry himself hardly knew who he was, let alone how to explain it to the world.

So he wouldn't. He'd just smile and bravely fight and die like any good hero should. Right?

"What's wrong?" Draco asked quietly.

Harry turned to look at Draco and he was shocked to see genuine concern in his silvery blue eyes. Harry laughed bitterly and shook his head.

"Just thinking. It's like my life has been snatched away… Stupid fucking Voldemort…" Harry muttered.

Draco was silent for a moment before he turned to look out the window with a bitter look of his own, "Tell me about it…"

"I just… I feel so stupid. And so completely alone. Like if a robot took my place no one would notice."

"What's a robot?" Draco asked.

Harry sighed dramatically, "Never mind."

Draco scooted closer to Harry and leaned in to see his eyes. As Harry looked into Draco's sparkling silver eyes he thought Draco might say something profound. Something that would make him feel mountains better.

"Stop being such a pussy, Potter."

At first Harry was offended but he realized quickly that that was the exact response he needed. What else would Draco say? If he'd tried to comfort him and empathize it would have just pissed Harry off further.

Harry needed a firm response. And that's what he got. And he was surprised at how much better he felt. The words hadn't solved any of his problems but they made him feel better. Mostly because he knew none of his friends would have ever said something like that. And yet it was exactly what Harry needed.

Harry chewed his bottom lip. Draco's face was just too close to his… it was making him a little uncomfortable. But he didn't move away.

"Here's something else I'm sure you haven't done." Draco whispered.

The next thing Harry knew, lips were attached to his.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The next thing Harry knew, lips were attached to his. Firm and insistent lips. They felt surprisingly good and Harry didn't refuse. He kissed back out of pure instinct before his mind caught up with his actions.

_What the fuck am I doing!_

He tried to tell himself it was just an accident. They were both drunk after all. But then shouldn't he be pulling away? Isn't this the part where he backs away gagging? He was now more than awakened from his drunken haze but he still did not move away. And neither did Draco.

In fact, the kiss became increasingly more intense. Draco biting at Harry's lips and sucking sensually on his tongue. Harry couldn't remember opening his mouth but Draco's tongue was searching him wildly. And Harry was soon returning the gesture with the same amount of zeal.

Finally Draco backed away. The stared at each other in absolute silence, the only sound was their heaving breath. The silvery moonlight spilled in through the huge window making Draco look even more fair and beautiful than Harry would have ever guessed he could.

He realized that when they had been kissing he'd felt better. Like the hollow hole in his chest was filled with something warm and pleasant. And he only realized he liked the feeling now that it was waning away.

They continued to look at each other, Harry wanting nothing more than to bring back that feeling. The feeling of belonging, of hope, of something better than just... emptiness. Their eyes made a silent agreement and suddenly they were kissing again. Hot, wet, needy kisses.

It was just a moment of desperation and madness shared between them. Because obviously there was no feeling behind it. They didn't even really know each other. But it gave Harry temporary relief from his other feelings.

And he was becoming aroused at an alarming rate. Draco's hands were everywhere. Sliding over his body. Touching him, caressing him…

In the back of his mind he was still thinking, _with Draco Malfoy? I must really be desperate…_ but that didn't matter much considering the front of his fogged mind was trying desperately to split his attention between the hot kiss and his throbbing cock.

Harry leaned back against the wall and Draco moved in between his legs never releasing his lips. But Harry couldn't complain about this position. In fact, he was pulling Draco closer.

Harry felt something hard pressing against his thigh. At that point, the long overdue panic finally kicked into gear. And yet he wasn't exactly afraid. It was something more akin to anxious anticipation than fear that put butterflies in his stomach. He reached down carefully, almost hoping it wasn't what he thought it was poking him through Draco's pants. But as his fingers grazed over hard and pulsating flesh he knew it was exactly what he'd thought.

Draco gave a low moan into Harry's mouth before finally he pulled away. His appearance was the epitome of disheveled but Harry said nothing imagining he probably looked about the same. Draco's eyes were dilated and his lips were dark and wet.

"Think we should stop?" Draco breathed.

Harry did consider saying no. So he knew that he couldn't blame it on anything else later. Even if he was drunk, he knew that this wasn't just a lapse in his brain function. He was actively deciding on whether or not to continue with Draco Malfoy. He was unable to decide and so stalled with another question.

"Why'd we start in the first place?" Harry asked a little ashamed at how heavy his breath was.

Draco shrugged, "Because… well… why does it matter?"

Harry nodded surprisingly calm. He could tell Draco had dodged that question but he didn't really care. His mind was preoccupied with other things. Draco was amazingly sexy right now; he wasn't sure how he'd never noticed that before. Everything about him just screamed sex appeal. He was perfect. And Harry was having a hard time forgetting how easily their bodies had fit together.

"So are we gonna shag or what?" Draco asked impatiently.

Harry took only a moment to nod his head. He wasn't sure why he was agreeing. But he was.

Draco smiled a little before pulling out his wand and saying a few spells at the door. Harry was glad Draco had remembered to do that. There would have been a lot of explaining to do if they'd been caught.

They didn't hesitate. They just began to kiss again while pulling off their clothes. They ended up on the ground on a makeshift blanket made of their robes. Harry realized he should have been a little embarrassed, naked and kissing Draco Malfoy right next to a huge window. But apparently the alcohol had made him entirely shameless.

God Draco was an amazing kisser. Those soft pink lips of his were experts at making Harry sigh and groan.

And Draco never ceased the constant attack on Harry's erogenous zones. Nibbling on his earlobes, kissing his neck, trailing his fingers over his nipples.

Draco was on top, straddling Harry's waist, "Ever done this before, Potter?"

"What do you think, Malfoy?" Harry snapped back.

"One more thing for you to check off your list then." Draco said leaning down and letting his body rest on Harry's.

Harry had to bite his lip when their cocks touched. The hot smooth skin against his was a totally new sensation. But it was definitely not an unwelcome one.

Parts of his mind were still shouting the normal reactions. Things like "you're not even gay." "This is Draco fucking Malfoy." "What the fuck are you thinking" but Harry could ignore those thoughts for now. New thoughts were taking the forefront.

Thoughts that he wasn't sure he was even ready to acknowledge let alone believe.

Harry's skin was burning. And yet even though his skin was drastically overheated, Draco's hands still felt hot against him. Running down his sides. Spreading his thighs apart…

Harry's hands searched Draco's body in return. He wasn't exactly surprised at the feel of Draco's muscular back. He'd seen the boy play Quidditch all these years so there was no way Draco would be anything but physically fit. But Harry was surprised at how much he liked the feeling. At how erotic the feeling of taut muscle under smooth skin could be.

Harry even spared a moment to kiss along Draco's throat. His skin was very warm and salty sweet. He liked it. He sucked hard at his neck trying to leave a mark. Draco didn't protest but instead gave a low moan as Harry bit down. He gently kissed the small and darkening mark, feeling a strange sense of power at having been the one to make it.

"On your knees." Draco said as he finally moved back.

Harry grumbled angrily to himself. So much for a sense of power…

"Why do I have to bottom…" Harry mumbled as he moved to get on all fours. Nevertheless Draco heard him.

"Because no one touches my arse. Got that?" Draco muttered into his ear, "Now shut up. Let's focus shall we? Spread your legs wider."

Harry obliged hesitantly. He felt very exposed with his butt up in the air and definitely embarrassed. He had a sudden and irrational fear that Draco would just throw open the door and all of Hogwarts would be waiting outside to see Harry Potter offering himself to be fucked.

But that didn't happen. Instead Harry felt a trail of very soft and fleeting kisses going down his back. Harry sighed and relaxed a little. This was so different from the Draco he thought he'd known. He'd assumed the sex would be rough and hurried. And though it was hurried, it was so… _gentle_. Almost overly so. Every touch, every caress was so kind and delicate that Harry could've thought Draco actually held some sincere feeling for him.

_Pfft. Sure. Stop being stupid Harry. There is no way in hell that's even remotely possible. I'd be surprised if he even had a heart let alone the ability to actually feel any sort of affection. But what he lacks in heart he makes up for with cock_.

Harry barely held in his laughter at his own thoughts.

The kisses continued all the way down Harry's spine until he was completely comfortable even in this revealing position.

He felt Draco's lips begin to travel a little further. Until they had just reached the cleft of his ass when he finally pulled away with a nervous laugh.

Harry heard Draco mumble something to himself. It sounded like, "Get a hold of yourself, Malfoy. Since when do you rim anyone…"

Harry then heard a very clear spell being spoken. He felt something warm and slippery touching him between his cheeks and he shivered resisting the urge to pull away. It was just so… strange.

"Get ready." Draco spoke lowly as he slipped his finger in.

Harry gasped and ground his teeth together to keep any further sounds inside. It felt weird. An intrusion. But there was something right about it. Something that made him feel that it belonged exactly where it was.

Draco slid his long finger deep into Harry's body. He began to thrust the digit inside of him. Harry sighed beginning to relax again. So this is why gay guys did this. It wasn't going to make him come exactly but it most certainly did feel pleasant.

Draco took his time still keeping up the gentle charade. His finger slipped in and out past the ring of muscle with such skill that Harry wondered how often he'd done this before. He pressed it in all the way to his knuckle, rotating it a bit, before pulling it away.

Then Draco's second finger slipped in and Harry's entire body tensed.

_Ow…_

Draco only used his two fingers for a short amount of time before he switched to three. Apparently he'd finally become impatient. It was painful for Harry, but he'd suffered much worse pain in his lifetime. And this pain ebbed quickly to more of a throb that was quite bearable. Draco's fingers reached a little farther and curled. Harry's back arched at the wonderful waves of warmth and pleasure that raced over him.

Harry felt a hand snake around his leg and give a quick tug on his cock. Base to tip, squeezing and twisting the head a little; just the way Harry loved. He heard himself moan but he couldn't be embarrassed about it. It felt too good.

He heard Draco chuckling behind him, "You're such a whore."

Harry couldn't have been offended if he tried. The words were spoken in a mockingly sarcastic tone but held no spite. And Draco's fingers were still slowly stroking that spot inside Harry that drove him absolutely mad.

And all too soon, Draco's hands were gone. Harry didn't have too much time to grieve the loss though. He soon felt the fleshy head of Draco's cock pressing up against his entrance.

"Relax," Draco whispered. And Harry was instantly obeying the words. Without even thinking.

Draco began to thrust slowly, but _slow_ seemed to be thrown out the window much too quickly for Harry's liking. Draco was soon thrusting in quick jabs and it was all Harry could do to keep from crying out.

"Fuck Malfoy… Pull it out! It hurts."

Harry expected to hear another harsh comment. But instead he heard a very low and sultry whisper in his ear. He could almost hear the smirk.

"Oh come on, Potter. What's a little pleasure without… pain." He said emphasizing his last word with a harsh thrust.

But it was so big. Harry didn't remember Malfoy's cock _looking_ that big. But it certainly felt huge as he tried to force it into an opening Harry considered much too small.

Malfoy stayed bent over, his chest flat against Harry's back. Draco's breath was labored as it rushed past Harry's skin. His hair trailed over the back of Harry's neck tickling him and making him shiver. Until finally, he leaned up again leaving Harry's back feeling rather cold.

All the while though, the movement of Draco's hips into Harry's backside never ceased. The pain eased away pretty quickly and it was replaced with a sensation of fullness. Not altogether unpleasant but nowhere near the waves of outrageous ecstasy that had overtaken his mind before.

Harry heard Draco groan and tell him how tight his body was and he longed to enjoy this act as much as Draco was. Harry let himself fall forward a bit relaxing his head in the crook of one arm while the other reached down and stroked himself.

_Ah… that's more like it…_

Harry thought as his stroked himself masterfully using him thumb and forefinger as a tight ring and pulling it up and down slowly. Down the base and up to where the foreskin was retracted to expose the swollen weeping head. He swiped at the wet swollen head with his thumb making himself near moan out loud again. As it was, he bit back a poorly concealed whimper.

Draco's hand smacked Harry's hand away and easily took its place.

"Let me do this…" Draco whispered.

"It's my cock, I'll do it." Harry grumbled inelegantly.

In the end, their hands worked together, Draco's wrapped firmly over Harry's as they stroked him together. It was a little awkward but Harry liked it. Probably more than he should have. He liked it beyond the physical pleasure it brought. He liked it because Draco's hand was with his. Because it was both of them together. And he knew it was wrong to think those things but Draco was thrusting in harder and he suddenly couldn't think at all.

Draco tipped his hips forward a bit and suddenly Harry was dying. That was the only explanation he could find for the sudden explosion of heat that ripped through him. He was dying. Draco had hit that spot. The one that melted his brain and clenched at his heart.

"Oh fuck... Right there."

Draco apparently was too out of breath to provide a snide comeback and sufficed to groan and pick up the pace. It was hot and hasty, needy and burning.

Finally, Harry gave up trying to continue pleasuring himself. He left Draco's hand to it and used both his arms to prop himself up. Not that this changed much. Draco's hand seemed to mimic Harry's own ministrations perfectly.

Harry cried out with every connection of Draco's hips to his. It was becoming too much. He could feel Draco sliding in all the way to the hilt. Their hips mashed together and Harry was even giving his own backward thrusts. Trying in vain to get just a tiny bit more. Draco squeezed his cock particularly hard and kissed his neck again. Hot breathy open mouthed kisses that left Harry's skin wet and chilled from the cold air.

They'd been going at it for a little while when rather suddenly, Harry realized he wouldn't be able to hold on much longer. He tried to ignore the tightening of his lower stomach. And Draco was suddenly going so much deeper. And it wasn't just that particular bundle of nerves that was giving Harry so much pleasure. But the penetration itself. The burning stretch that he had considered painful was now welcomed openly.

And it was so deep. Touching places inside him that Harry had hardly known existed. Had his arse always been this sensitive? How had he not noticed? He was clenching down a little and listening to Draco's groans each time he did so. Fuck… it was just so… so…

"Draco… Fuck!"

Harry's mind paused just long enough to scold him for using Draco's first name out loud before he came. He came harder than he ever had before, spraying his seed in endless pearly streams onto their robes. He came so hard he felt as if his brain was flowing out through his cock. Draco was coming too. Harry could feel the boy become rigid and hear his last few grunts of completion. He couldn't feel him coming inside him exactly. But there was a noticeable difference. Everything felt kinda warm and squishy in there now.

Draco slipped out with ease still stroking Harry's turgid cock lovingly, milking it for every last drop until they both collapsed, Draco falling on top of him.

Harry's entire body was one big throb. He could feel his heart beat everywhere especially inside him. It had felt so- he almost hated to admit it- good. But now it was throbbing painfully again.

He could hear Draco's labored breath by his ear. And he wondered why he hadn't moved yet. It wasn't like Draco was exactly heavy. More that Harry had his face suffocated by his own trousers and he didn't have the leverage to get a full breath of air.

"Malf-geroff."

"Hmm?" Draco responded lazily.

Harry pushed his shoulders up as far as he could, "I said, get off. Now."

Draco rolled off effortlessly and Harry was finally able to lift himself to his elbows. When he turned to look at his hated schoolmate he was surprised at what he saw. A very beautiful young man smiling as the last remnants of bliss slowly faded. Draco's eyes fluttered closed and the moonlight seemed to caress every inch of his pale perfect skin. The only flaw on that perfect skin being the mark on his neck that Harry himself had created.

Harry had intended to say something. He wasn't sure what anymore. Now he could only stare at the boy beside him in awe. How had he missed this? How had he overlooked how excruciatingly gorgeous Draco was?

He was blinded by preconceptions. And now his eyes were open to see with staggering clarity.

Draco's eyes opened slowly and he looked up a Harry with an expression of playfulness, curiosity, and annoyance. Harry gazed back star-struck by the swirling silvery blue color.

"Can I help you, Potter? Or are you ready for round two?"

Harry's ass gave a painful twinge at that suggestion and he winced. The action did not go unnoticed by Draco who laughed before smirking in perfect Malfoy fashion.

"Sorry, I suppose I don't quite know my strength."

"Shut up." Harry retorted lamely.

"So why are you staring at me then?"

"I-I wasn't staring…"

"Come off it Potter. I saw you."

"You're just… I don't know. I don't know what I was thinking."

Draco rolled his eyes dramatically and then, with obvious effort, sat up.

"Well get up. We can't stay here forever."

Harry groaned. He'd had too much whiskey and now was entirely exhausted from his "other activities". He could hardly blink his eyes without effort. He could only imagine how much it would take for him to stand.

"We've got to get dressed, unless you intend to lay here naked for the rest of the night. Actually… that might be your intention. But in any case, get your arse up. Or else."

Harry found himself impulsively smiling a little at that comment but he quickly wiped the smile away as he pulled his leaden body to standing. The muscles in his legs instantly rejected and turned to water. He nearly fell down but managed to lean against the wall for support.

_Okay so he's good looking. Gilderoy was good looking too. Doesn't mean you have to get all mushy. No need to smile at his every word. This is Malfoy we're talking about here…_

Harry said some cleaning spells at the clothes before he began to separate his from Draco's.

"Hey…" Draco whispered as he started to pull on his clothes.

"Yeah?" Harry replied not really paying attention.

"Did you call me Draco earlier?"

Harry tensed a little as though he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't have been. But there was no use denying it. That'd only make it more suspicious. And they'd already fucked… what was wrong with calling each other by their first names too?

"Yeah. Do you mind?" Harry replied quietly.

It was silent for a little while. Harry almost thought Draco hadn't heard him.

"No. But it's only for tonight. So don't get used to it."

Harry nodded and gave a forced sort of smile, "Right."

They continued getting dressed in silence. When they were finished the moon was nearly gone and the horizon was beginning to lighten with the impending sunrise.

They left the room together and walked down the silent empty corridors. Stairs were suddenly a death trap for Harry. Each and every one made his muscles shake like Jell-O. But he persevered. It only took a few more minutes for him to orient himself and soon the shaky weakness of his body was manageable.

"…Hey." Draco said just before he turned to go towards the Slytherin Dorms.

Harry sighed, "Yes?"

"Can I call you Harry? Only for tonight of course."

Harry was surprised by Draco's obvious friendliness. He wondered what brought it all on… it must be that he was thoroughly sated from the sex. Yeah, that was it. Still Harry smiled and replied, "Sure."

He heard Draco let out a shaky breath, "'Kay. Good night, Harry."

"G'night Draco."

Harry didn't stay to watch Draco go down the hallway. His butt was hurting like he'd never imagined it could and he was desperate for the comfort of his bed. It was so sore… it hadn't hurt like this during the sex. And Harry could still feel the place deep inside of him where Draco had reached when he was all the way inside. He shuddered a little and he wasn't quite sure whether it was in disgust or rapture.

It was as he was walking, well limping really, back to the Gryffindor dorms that he realized exactly what he'd just done. He'd slept with a boy. That in itself was insane. But it hadn't been just any boy; it'd been Draco Malfoy. His hated enemy. The son of a known Death Eater.

But Draco was damn beautiful too. Whether or not he liked Draco's personality didn't affect his honesty towards his outer appearance. Even though Draco was awful, Harry had to admit the man was absolutely, breathtakingly gorgeous. Anyone who said otherwise was either blind or in denial.

And he didn't seem as awful as Harry used to think he was…

He'd been rude and sarcastic as always. But the hatred Harry used to sense between them had all but evaporated.

Harry stumbled into the Gryffindor common room his thoughts still jumbled.

Ron was ruffling his hair and yawning as he came down the stairs but he gasped when he saw him, "Blimey Harry! What's happened to you?"

"…An accident"

* * *

Rate and Review!

…Pretty please?


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Oh Fuck… right there."

Draco pounded mercilessly into Harry's body. Making their forms mesh together into one. The way Draco kissed the back of his neck so tenderly made Harry shiver and struggle to contain his orgasm just a little longer…

He wanted more. As much as he could get. Harry pushed his hips back in a silent plea for more of this amazing pleasure. And Draco readily obliged. Harry loved the feeling of Draco's warm hand wrapped so tightly around his cock. How did Draco know exactly how Harry liked it? Was he only guessing? But it was so perfect. The exact way Harry would have done it himself. Maybe even a little better…

"Mr. Potter?" Professor McGonagall asked.

Harry froze instantly. It wasn't as though she could read his thoughts… but still. He'd been caught fantasizing about Draco Malfoy in the middle of Transfigurations. He looked up slowly to see her standing directly in front of his desk.

"Do you know the answer?"

"Umm… what was the question again?"

Her lips pressed into a firm line and she took in a deep breath before walking away, "Ten points from Gryffindor for lack of attention. I suggest you keep your mind on your schoolwork while in my classroom."

Harry bowed his head in shame and embarrassment, "Yes ma'am."

After class he walked to lunch with Ron and Hermione dejectedly. What was wrong with him? It was a one night stand. They'd both been drunk. And Harry had been depressed and a little desperate… okay, so he'd been _really_ desperate.

He shouldn't have been there in the first place… He shouldn't have allowed what happened. And yet he didn't regret it. Not at all. The weird mix of emotions made his head spin.

And he couldn't stop reliving it in his mind, dreaming about it. He'd had more than one morning erection as a result. He'd jerked off over Draco twice in just one morning...

And he could still feel it. Deep inside. The deepest Draco had been able to reach. Harry swore that near the end Draco must have been fucking his intestines but now he could feel it clearly. It was sore but in a pleasant way. It reminded him of exactly what it had felt like. And a few times he caught himself biting his lip and rocking his hips in his seat.

He sighed and gingerly picked over his turkey sandwich. He wasn't really hungry. He felt as empty as ever, but it wasn't like food would ever fill him up.

"What's wrong Harry?" Hermione asked her eyebrows drawn together in concern, "You've been acting strange."

Harry shook his head unable to find an answer. Now not only was the world falling apart, his life at stake, his friends in danger, and his home of Hogwarts being ripped away. He was also dealing with an identity crisis. Confusion about his sexuality and his feelings towards a boy he was supposed to hate.

Fate sure knows how to spread it on thick.

"It's nothing 'Mione. I've just been thinking too much recently."

She looked dubious of that answer but she didn't pry any deeper.

As they left they were leaving the Great Hall they bumped into Draco followed closely by Pansy. Harry really did have the worst luck sometimes…

He eyed Pansy curiously. He felt a strange sort of jealous dislike and he shoved it down deep, afraid of what it might mean. He wouldn't even think about it. He'd forget he ever felt anything.

When finally he looked up at Draco he saw that he was staring at him. His eyes didn't seem to glow like they had before. He looked normal, not angelic. But still damn beautiful. Harry felt his stomach do a few tight flips. His mouth went dry and he tried to remember what he should say in this situation.

"Malfoy." He greeted simply and then mentally smacked himself. He could come up with better than that, couldn't he?

"Potter." Draco replied apathetically as he pushed past him.

Harry's heart was beating a mile a minute. He felt his cheeks heat and he had the sudden urge to run to his bed, wank himself raw and never get up again.

But he was Harry Potter god damn it. And he was going to find a way to get a hold of himself.

After the small encounter, Harry cleared his throat audibly and turned to Hermione for a distraction, "S-So what have we got next?" he flushed a little instantly ashamed of the way his voice had cracked.

"Double potions." Hermione said. And though it was obvious she was trying to sound unbiased, the spite in her words could be heard.

Harry groaned and dragged his feet unwilling to spend time in the dungeons. Probably in close proximity to a blond that had buggered his brains out for what had felt like forever… and ever… and ever…

"Harry? You sure you're alright?" Ron asked elbowing him in the side.

"'Course I'm not alright. Not with double potions being the only thing to look forward to."

Ron shrugged, "True 'nuff, mate."

As they walked the halls to their next class they passed Ginny. Of course they all smiled and said their hellos.

Harry felt his chest clench in nervousness.

But Ginny just smiled at him pleasantly and it made his stomach sour. It didn't feel the same as when she used to smile at him before. Not that her smile was different… but that Harry found that he rather fancied the smirk of a Slytherin…

He mentally smacked himself again trying to get rid of those thoughts. How was he not straight? He'd been straight all his life. How could such a thing change so suddenly? Or had he been like this all along?

Harry walked into the dungeons with his head down, still puzzling over his troubles. But when he looked up Draco was there, looking directly at him. Harry froze, much like a deer that sees oncoming headlights. He struggled to shake off the feeling that everyone in the room knew exactly what had happened last night.

_Just sit down and pretend he doesn't exist. _

Harry tried to follow his own advice but as he sat down he winced a little. And the triumphant smirk that crossed Draco's lips, however infuriating, was hard to look away from.

Potions started the same as always. An evil potions master flapping his robes about in a great show of dominance while Neville Longbottom cowered. Followed by an insult to Harry's intelligence and then an assignment.

They were supposed to make a potion to cure an ailment that would otherwise be permanent. Arthritis, Diabetes things of that nature. Hermione suggested that they brew a potion for Harry's eyesight. At first he didn't really like the idea. He'd come to like his glasses, they were as much a part of his face as his nose or eyes. But then he thought about Voldemort, it'd be dangerous to have glasses in a fight like that…. What if they fell off?

So eventually Harry sighed and submitted to Hermione, who smiled and immediately began working. This potion was a little more on the difficult side and Harry had never really been good at potions. Still, he tried his best.

He glanced over at Ron who was giving him the glare of death for making him partner with Neville. Being partnered with Neville was almost a guarantee that you would be splattered with some sort of questionable ooze before class was over.

Harry only smiled in return to Ron's mock angry stare and continued to work as best he could at his potion.

"Hermione… this says comfrey. But does it mean the leaves or like the root or something?"

"Harry, you should know that comfrey root is usually only used in illegal potions. Which is why the potions classroom doesn't even have it in stock… You really are distracted today aren't you?"

Harry shrugged and let his eyes wander to the front row were he spotted Draco stirring his cauldron in steady circles.

How did his skin look so soft and smooth? It almost glowed in its clarity, even in a dark potions lab. And his hair was like… Harry couldn't think of anything to compare it too. It looked fine and silvery like spiders silk. But if he turned in just the right light it would pick up more honey colored tones. And then it looked like sunlight…

"Harry… Harry! What did you just put in the cauldron?"

"Huh?" Harry said turning to look at Hermione. And indeed, in his distraction, he'd been absent mindedly picking up whatever was closest and dropping it into their simmering pot.

The potion was supposed to be purple, but instead it had turned a bright and violent shade of orange. It began to bubble ominously and both he and Hermione started to back up apprehensively.

"Harry James Potter, I will never forgive you for this." Hermione muttered as she steadily stepped backwards.

By this time most of the class had turned their attentions to the hissing and spitting cauldron. Harry closed his eyes and waited for the worst. But all he heard was a louder hiss and suddenly all of the sound stopped.

He looked up to see Professor Snape standing with a bottle of green powder which he'd apparently used to neutralize what would have surely been a big mess.

"Potter," Snape spat eyeing him disdainfully. And Harry lowered his eyes in shame.

"You are one of the greatest failures it has ever been my misfortune to teach. You should be ashamed of your stupidity. If I hadn't caught that disastrous concoction in time you could have had half of your classmates in the infirmary. Fifty points from Gryffindor and-"

"Professor Snape." A voice interrupted from somewhere towards the front of the class.

The greasy haired teacher paused and Harry looked up from where he'd been studying the ground.

"Yes, Mr. Malfoy?" Snape said sounding a little angry that what was surely going to be a lecture full of insulting Harry had been cut off so rudely.

"I'm going to do some thinking on Thursday night." Draco said eyeing Harry.

"Excuse me?" Snape asked as some of the class started giggling.

"Thursday, I'm going to do some thinking, sir. I just wanted to say that."

Snape sneered but was obviously suspicious, "Fine, I would only hope that Potter here would join you in that on an occasion or two."

Draco smirked knowingly and glanced over at Harry again before taking his seat and turning away.

Harry didn't catch on as quickly as he should have. It was only after he'd been given a detention and the class had been sent back to work that he realized what Draco meant. He was going to do some thinking, in the tower room Thursday night. Announcing it like that was his way of telling Harry without having to talk to him in private.

Well it wasn't exactly subtle but it got the job done…

It took Harry a while before he could use his brain enough to concentrate on potions. All he could think about was the tower room. Would he go again tonight? If he did what would he do? Would he tell Draco to shove off? Or would they…

Harry bit his lip as the memories of that night rushed over him again.

Oh yes. He would go there Thursday. No doubt about it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Harry had worried for hours by the time Thursday night finally arrived. When would be the proper time to go? It was already 11. Should he go now? Was Draco already waiting? Or would Harry end up being unreasonably early?

After a little more uncertainty, he finally decided to go now. Who cared if he was early? But then again… he didn't want to be stuck there with nothing to do. So he grabbed his school bag and headed off under his invisibility cloak.

He was a nervous wreck walking up the stairs. His heart sped up with every step. He stared at the darkened door for a good minute or so before he took a deep breath and finally found the courage to turn the knob.

The room was still empty. He sighed in disappointment and quickly went to sit down by the window.

He thought about lighting the candle he'd brought but it wasn't really necessary next to the bright window. The window was rather intriguing. The moonlight seemed amplified and it flooded the room. Even though the moon wasn't even full, only a thin sliver of its full shape.

Harry shook it off. Most rooms in Hogwarts were magical. Like the room of requirement.

He concentrated on his homework. It wasn't particularly difficult, but definitely time consuming. And that was exactly what he needed.

After about an hour the door finally opened. Harry looked up and saw a slightly ruffled looking Malfoy saunter inside before closing and locking the door.

Malfoy yawned and shuffled forward a little before plopping down next to Harry. Harry was a little taken aback. Draco had always been so… upper-class. As though he were in another social group and entirely unattainable. Un-relatable. A person as cold and hard as all the galleons they owned.

But now he seemed so normal.

"Been here long, Potter?"

Harry swallowed and tried to find his voice, "Not really."

"Then what's all this?" Draco said motioning to Harry's papers strewn around him.

"Just something to keep me busy…" Harry muttered.

Draco shrugged and leaned back against the frosty looking window, closing his eyes with a sigh.

Harry organized most of his homework into a pile and shoved it aside along with his bag. He stared at Draco analyzing his features carefully.

They were still kinda… pointy. But not in the same way. Somehow Malfoy had changed without Harry really taking notice. His features seemed more delicate. Aristocratic yes, but there was just something… soft about him. And yet still undeniably masculine. Harry liked it.

"Staring again?" Draco asked not even bothering to open his eyes.

Harry blushed a little and looked away muttering a hasty apology.

"So… why are we here?"

Draco opened his eyes slowly and stared straight ahead into the empty space.

"I'm not sure exactly."

"Well umm… what happened last time… was… well…" Harry struggled for the right adjective.

"Sudden?"

"Yeah, but I was thinking… umm…"

"Surprising? Accidental? Strange? Odd?"

At first Harry planned to chastise Draco for not giving him a chance to come up with the word on his own. But then he realized the words that Draco had been offering.

"Odd? …So you thought it was odd…" Harry asked dejectedly.

"Hell yeah I did." Draco said quickly but then continued even faster, "Not that it was bad or anything. Quite the opposite really. Just that in the end, I'd fucked Harry Potter. And that's pretty odd. No offense."

Harry tried his best to smile, "None taken."

Draco gave him an appraising look for a moment before changing the subject, "I lied earlier."

"Hm? About what?"

"When you asked why we're here. I do have a reason for inviting you. A Malfoy never does anything without a reason."

"Right," Harry chuckled, "So then what's the reason?"

Draco turned and stared at him, his face blank for a long moment before a devilish smirk slowly rose on his lips. He was plotting something. Harry could tell. He'd seen that look before and it was always cause for alarm. Because Draco's plans were hardly ever good for Harry.

"Have you ever heard of the concept 'friends with benefits'?" Draco said in a low voice, the mischievous smirk not faltering for even a moment.

Harry's eyebrows must have hit his hairline in two seconds flat. Of course he knew what that was. What that meant… But was Draco suggesting…?

"Of course Malfoy, I haven't been living under a rock for my entire life you know." Harry shot back as confidently as he could.

Draco smiled a bit before he looked away again, "Well I'd been thinking… I'm bored. You're lonely. And-"

"Lonely?" Harry interjected, "I am not _lonely_, Malfoy."

Draco rolled his eyes, "You can leave your denial at the door, Potter. You can't bullshit a bullshitter. Now as I was saying," Draco continued as though daring Harry to interrupt again, "much as I hate you, because don't get me twisted here, I still hate you- if I was looking for a lay with no attachments you'd be the top choice. Because we're completely disconnected. And I wouldn't have to deal with some lovesick girl chasing me around all the bloody time. It'd just be a casual fuck."

Harry thought it over a bit, "That altogether sounds like a poor excuse for you to try and get me in the sack again. What the hell kind of explanation is that? Just because we don't know each other we should be able to have sex with no attachments? Come on Malfoy. If you're trying to convince me to bend over for you again you can do better than that."

Draco's face broke into a wide grin and for a moment before he burst out laughing, "So Gryffindors really aren't as stupid as they look! True, there is more to the story but I'm not telling you. So far as you need to know, I'm just a very horny guy who's looking for some hot hero-of-the-entire-fucking-world action, yeah?"

Harry chuckled, "Sorry, but I'm not agreeing to anything till you explain yourself."

Draco shrugged him off, "Fine then."

Harry's throat went dry. That wasn't what he was expecting. Not from the Draco who could argue his way into or out of anything. Not from Draco, whose powers of coercion had always been the absolute best. He could convince nearly any teacher that his work whether standard or even sub-par was worth an A+. Draco Malfoy was a bullshitter through and through. And he was never one to give up on something he wanted.

"I'm not gonna argue with you over it, Potter. It's a take it or leave it kind of deal."

Harry swallowed. He had been thinking about it…dreaming about it.

"Well… you were right about one thing. I guess I am kinda lonely. But there are other things besides sex. I mean, I'm sure you know what it feels like not to have anyone to talk to. I can only talk to certain people without being afraid they'd be tortured for info… I mean… it wouldn't be a bad idea to have an outlet. But… _you_?"

"Oh flattery will get you everywhere, scarhead."

Harry didn't laugh, trying to get his seriousness across, "You seriously expect me to trust a Death Eater."

The playful smirk on Draco's face dissipated so quickly Harry could hardly keep up, "I am not a Death Eater." He bit out emphasizing each and every syllable. His face looked darkly serious now.

Harry sized him up for a moment trying to become a human lie detector. Draco's anger certainly seemed genuine.

"Well sorry for assuming, but it's really not that far of a jump."

Draco scowled and turned away, "Just because my family is loyal to the Dark Lord doesn't mean I am."

"Right." Harry agreed reluctantly. But there was obvious doubt strained between them. They both knew which side of the war Draco was currently on.

"Still…" Draco assented with a sigh, "There really is no way for us to trust each other is there?"

"Well there are binding spells…" Harry started but the scornful look on Draco's face made him trail off.

"Binding spells? You can't be serious. Now I may not be the best person, hell I know I can be awful. But I'm man enough that I don't need a spell to keep my word."

Harry raised an eyebrow. Draco turned his entire body to face Harry and he stared straight into his eyes with a look of pure sincerity.

"How about this: anything said or done in this room doesn't leave this room. Regardless of loyalties or the damned war. This room is entirely neutral. Agreed?" Draco said offering his hand out for Harry to take.

His eyes were determined and his face bore no sign of doubt or dishonesty.

Harry glanced down at Draco's hand and back up at his face. The part of him that enjoyed that night before a little too much was screaming to go ahead with it. But Harry knew he had to be careful. He couldn't just rush in headfirst.

Or could he? Isn't that how he always did things? And didn't it always work out?

Sure maybe he shouldn't have tempted fate again and again. But in the end, Harry's intuition had saved him countless times. And right now, he could feel that Draco wasn't lying.

"You swear that on your life? You'd rather die than tell even one little thing?"

Draco's mouth tightened into a frown and he seemed to be faltering for a moment. Then he smirked, "You can bet that tight little ass of yours, Potter."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Harry liked the feeling of Draco's hand wrapped around his as they shook. Harry'd insisted they cut their palms too. After a little fuss Draco had reluctantly agreed. Harry liked the warm wet feeling between their palms; even if it stung so much he couldn't help but wince a few times.

He saw Draco shiver a little as their handshake finally broke, "Not exactly what I'd pictured. Who'd have thought you were into things as kinky as blood oaths." He teased.

Harry laughed nervously. He wasn't sure exactly what he'd just agreed to. So now they trusted each other. But that friends with benefits thing… was that still part of the deal? Wanting to avoid any miscommunication, Harry asked.

Draco stroked his chin in thought for a moment. He looked pretty serious as he thought and Harry wished he'd been better at wordless magic. That way he could use Legilimens without being noticed.

"Well… the way I see it, we've made a truce. While we're in this room all the shit that happened between us when we were younger doesn't matter. And we're something like… friends I suppose." He said with a grimace that seemed a little over exaggerated.

"What, regretting your oath already?" Harry prodded only half joking.

"No." Draco answered a little too quickly, "Just that, if we weren't 'friends' I'd have no problem getting you pissed and fucking you senseless. But now I actually have to wait for you to… _consent_." He said spitting the word consent as though it were dirty.

Harry laughed a little, "I'm not sure whether or not I should say thanks or something."

"Ugh, none of those Gryffindor manners here please."

"Right." Harry agreed, "Well I brought the Firewhiskey again… just in case."

Draco stared at him appraisingly for a minute, "You've been looking forward to it haven't you?" He accused in a mocking tone, "I bet you've been completely hot for me this entire week."

Harry's blush was too real for him to brush off Draco's jibes.

Draco's silvery eyes examined him a little more closely, "… you really were, weren't you?"

Harry froze momentarily before he covered it with a laugh "Eww... Not hot for you. Just that… well… I'm a guy, Draco. I'm supposed to think about sex."

Draco smirked knowingly, "You called me Draco again."

"Oh for Merlin's sake. We can call each other by our first names."

Draco smirked and shrugged before stretching and leaning again against the frosty panes of glass, "Well… we have some time left for tonight. Three options. We can talk, which actually isn't anywhere near as boring as I thought it would be. We can go back to our rooms or we can fuck mercilessly. Your choice."

"Well… what do you think?" Harry asked not sure he wanted to put his choice out there first.

"Personally…I think sex would be the perfect stress reliever right about now."

Harry had to agree. So he took a deep breath and scooted closer to Draco along the window seat. His heart was pounding his skin heating in anticipation. Harry exhaled shakily and leaned forward…

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Draco said backing away with his hands up, "Come on now, I thought I explained this."

Harry backed away a little embarrassed at the obvious refusal, "What?" he asked tersely.

"This is sex, Pot- err.. Harry. Meeting a physical need. It has nothing to do with emotion at all. There's a big difference between sex and love, you know. You don't need to kiss me."

Harry felt his brow crease a bit but he let it go, "You know I'm starting to think option two isn't half bad."

"Well you wanna get off or not because I have no problem with leaving." Draco said back with a sneer.

"Yeah." Harry admitted quietly. Screw his pride he actually kinda needed this.

"Hmm…" Draco said as though in deep thought, "You blow me first and I'll repay the favor." He said simply in a way that left no room for argument.

That was what Draco was offering and Harry could almost hear him repeating his words from earlier, _it's a take it or leave it kind of deal._ Draco was just that kind of person. You couldn't really negotiate with him. You could only take what he offered, because even that would be better than nothing.

Harry grimaced but nodded.

Draco's smirk of victory returned as he grabbed Harry's arm almost painfully hard and pulled him down to kneel in front him. Harry glared up at Draco, unhappy at having to be the first one to do this. He probably was no good at it anyway so what was the point?

"Well what're you waiting for down there?" Draco asked the amusement obvious in his voice.

Harry grimaced a little as he undid Draco's fly.

_Just think about when it'll be his turn…_

Draco tilted his hips and pulled his pants down a little more revealing all of himself to Harry.

Harry shuddered in something akin to disgust. Draco's erection really was quite big. But then again, Draco was usually above average in nearly everything he did. Harry wondered how he'd ever fit… _it_ inside of himself. It was at the very least seven inches but more than likely eight. Harry winced at the sight of the appendage and used his hand while looking away.

"Oh come on." Draco said but he no longer sounded as firm and confident, "It's not that bad."

"Say that when you're in my position." Harry whispered as he leaned forward.

He took a deep breath and closed his mouth over the head. He felt the muscles in Draco's thighs twitch and then relax. The taste was… odd. Musky, salty, bitter. But manageable. And there was something about it that Harry couldn't quite put his finger on. Something that tasted like nothing he'd ever tasted before. And he almost liked it.

He moved his mouth slowly and used his tongue to swipe against the satin smooth skin. He felt Draco's hands at the back of his head showing his desire by pushing Harry forward.

Harry tried his best to comply but as soon as the head came near the back of his throat he panicked and backed away. Eventually, Draco gave up trying to make Harry take it deeper and he sighed in what sounded like annoyance.

"God, you suck." He said, "And not in a good way."

Harry pulled away and coughed a little, "Well excuse the hell outta me. It's not like I would have had much practice giving head."

"It's really not a difficult task. Use your hands. And for God's sake relax a bit. I'm not going to choke you."

Harry closed his eyes and tried to take Draco's advice of relaxing. He took a few deep breaths before he went at it again. This time he let Draco slip a little further into his mouth before he pulled away. But still he wasn't satisfactory. Draco issued out orders every few seconds.

"It's called sucking for a reason, you know... Tighten your lips a little more… Careful of your teeth!"

It took a while but eventually Harry didn't hear anymore criticism from above him, instead he heard heavy breathing and low groans. He smiled mentally. He wasn't that bad at it apparently. And this was something where his lack of experience was a plus. If he'd been good at it, he would have had to have learned somewhere. He left that thought as it was, too grossed out to consider the possibilities.

Harry used his hand in the steady rhythm Draco had showed him and he began to feel small tremors in Draco's lower stomach.

"I'm coming…" Draco managed to grunt out only seconds before a hot slew of liquid spilled into Harry's mouth.

Alarmed, Harry moved to pull back but Draco held him in place just a little longer before letting him slip away. Harry coughed and tried to spit most of the acrid substance out but he'd swallowed a lot of it without meaning to.

"Oh God…" He whispered horrified.

"…What?" Draco breathed.

"I have a test tomorrow, you bastard."

Draco straightened himself out a bit but his cheeks were still flushed, "What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

"I'm not going to be able to sleep knowing your little tadpoles are swimming around in my stomach. Ugh…"

Draco burst out laughing again and Harry found himself chuckling silently along with him.

"You're a funny guy, Harry. Really."

Harry felt an instinctive smile at Draco's use of his first name. It got a little quiet after that as Harry continuously wiped his mouth and Draco's breath finally slowed to a normal pace.

Harry finally got up off the ground and sat himself down along the window seat again. The flat stones were kinda hard. He made a mental note to bring some cushions or something next time.

"So you want me to return the favor or what?" Draco asked.

Harry sat up quickly, now reenergized and excited, "Hell yeah. You think I suffered through that for no reason?"

Draco smiled, "I'm just glad you don't like me too much. Wouldn't want any more love letters than I already get."

"Oh definitely not." Harry agreed with a laugh. Fall in love with a snake like Draco Malfoy? He pitied the poor fool who would do something so stupid.

Draco crawled toward him slowly and he put his hand on the inside of Harry's thigh. Harry swallowed and gazed back into Draco's eyes, mesmerized at the way they seemed to glow in the liquid silver moonlight.

Harry took a deep breath. As inconspicuously as he could he pinched his thigh to make sure he wasn't dreaming. But no, Draco Malfoy really was on his knees for Harry Potter.

Draco's hand ran up the length of his thigh once, his fingers digging in so Harry could feel his nails scratching ever so gently through his trousers. He finally put his hand completely over Harry's crotch grabbing a hold of the half stimulated flesh there.

Harry gasped and felt his muscles flex once in eagerness. Draco was an expert with his fly, getting it undone in half the time Harry had taken. Draco pulled the waistband of his pants down a bit and Harry tilted his hips up so he could pull them the rest of the way. When he sat back down he hissed as his buttocks made contact with the cold stone but he forgot about it quickly.

Draco's face was flushed again, and not from exertion. Harry had the passing thought that maybe, just maybe, Draco was embarrassed. He smiled.

_He'd better be embarrassed after what he put me through._

"Now, if you ever tell anyone about this I will see to it personally that you're death is long and painful." Draco muttered and Harry nodded eagerly. He was ready to get started.

Draco reached out and quickly grabbed Harry's cock, making it give a hard jerk at the first contact. Harry closed his eyes and let himself fall back into the pleasant sensations overtaking his mind. Draco's hand worked steadily up and down Harry's hard shaft, pulling gently until Harry really began to heat up. Then without any hesitation Draco leaned forward and swallowed Harry whole.

He sucked Harry's erection inside of his mouth impossibly deep. And then he swallowed. The contraction of the hot wet throat muscles made Harry cry out. He barely had time to register all of the sensations as they happened. Draco was quick about doing his job. He sucked Harry in deeper and deeper still, hollowing his cheeks around the intrusion as he finally pulled away.

He licked around the head a bit before he sucked it into his mouth, his lips pursed tightly around the dip of Harry's retracted foreskin. Harry was groaning uncontrollably by this point. He hadn't realized anything could feel this good. Wanking was one thing but _this_ was literally blowing his mind.

Draco's tongue wiggled against the swollen slit before he sucked hard again, his hand moving in unending and maddeningly steady strokes. Harry wanted it faster but he was too embarrassed to say so.

Draco's hand and mouth were perfectly in sync. Moving in just the right way to force sobs of ecstasy from Harry's tight throat. The pace was fast, but never fast enough for Harry. But just the sight of Draco's blond head bobbing at varying speeds in his lap made Harry's lust double exponentially.

Draco glanced up at Harry from beneath his long lashes and he chuckled a little an obvious smirk curling the corners of his lips even around Harry's cock. The vibrations of Draco's voice rocketed through Harry's body and he moaned thrusting his hips forward in a desperate attempt for more.

Draco laughed again and he pulled Harry's hand up placing it behind his own head. Harry got the signal. He pushed Draco down, enjoying the warm, warm, warm wet throat. It was just so damn good. He could hear Draco's small protests but he ignored them. The extra vibration felt good anyway.

It had moved from Draco sucking, to Harry fucking his mouth in firm strokes. He saw Draco's eyebrows crease together a few times when he was unnecessarily rough but other than that the blonde gave no objection.

Draco's hand stopped its stroking for a bit and went to fondling Harry's balls. Cradling them one at a time and slowly massaging the skin there till Harry was sure he wouldn't be able to stand another moment. The pleasure was too much for his nerves to register at one time.

"Gods Draco I'm…"

Harry couldn't finish his sentence. Liquid fire exploded through him, setting his every cell alight in the hot pleasure. He came so hard he nearly thought his heart might just implode from the strain. As the surges of his orgasm finally ceased, Harry struggled to bite back his groan. The pleasurable aftershocks of his completion washed over him, dulling his senses except for a spare and lucky few. One of which was _feeling_. He could still _feel_ everything.

It took a while but he finally was in control of his wits again. Was that ragged gasping and moaning coming from his own throat? And the laughing? That had to be…

"And that, my friend, is how to give a proper blow job."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

For a long time Harry's world consisted of nothing but the satisfied throb in his pants and the sound of his own heaving breath. But eventually he realized something that should have been obvious ages ago.

"You swallowed?" He asked more than stated.

Draco laughed but the sound was raspy, "I'm not afraid of _your_ little tadpoles swimming around in my stomach. It's no big deal."

Harry felt a little embarrassed. No wonder Draco had been frustrated with him. When Harry had tried to give a blowjob it was pitiful. Not only did he completely suck at it, no pun intended, he'd also whined about having swallowed even a drop of Draco's come. He felt like an idiot.

"In fact," Draco continued, "I rather fancy the idea that my stomach acid will be killing the seed of the chosen one as I sleep."

Harry grimaced and swallowed hard still trying to get control over his breathing, "That's kinda dark…"

"Is it?" Draco shrugged

It was quiet for a while longer as Harry caught his breath and pulled up his pants. But then, out of the blue, Draco started chuckling quietly but the sound grew louder and louder with every passing second. Finally, Harry's curiosity won him over.

"What's so funny?" Harry asked.

"My god, I just gave Harry Potter a blowjob… willingly!"

Harry had to laugh a bit as well. Two weeks ago, if someone had told him he'd be meeting up with Draco Malfoy in the middle of the night for them to exchange sexual favors he would have had the poor nutter put into St. Mungo's.

"Who was the first person you ever did that for?" Harry asked as his curiosity swelled.

Draco gave him a weird look, "Obviously you."

"No like… You mean that was the first time you ever did that?" Harry asked in utter disbelief.

Draco rolled his eyes, "No, I just go around sucking off anyone who asks these days. Of course that was the first time."

"But you…I… that was amazing."

"It's called porn, Potter. And since I have experience being on the receiving end, giving wasn't as hard as I thought it'd be."

Harry was now doubly embarrassed of his own failure. He sighed and shook his head trying to clear it before he looked out the window. The sky was still relatively dark, but the telltale lighter blue color across the horizon was all he needed to see.

They probably didn't have much time left if they wanted to get any sleep. Draco seemed to notice the same thing.

"Let's call it a night?" Draco asked.

Harry surprised even himself by asking a completely unrelated question. He'd been thinking it but he didn't know his mouth would choose to say it of its own accord.

"Why can't you be like this more often?" Harry heard his own voice say.

Draco paused before scoffing, "Like what? Good at giving head?"

Harry blushed but shook his head, "No, like… Human."

There was a protracted silence that was more serious than either of them would acknowledge. But Draco spoke, "I didn't seem human before?"

Harry shrugged realizing his words didn't really make all that much sense. He laughed it off as best he could, hoping Draco wouldn't hear the nervous catch in his voice.

"I don't know what I'm saying. I must be tired. You're right. Let's leave for tonight."

Draco nodded slowly and stood stretching out his muscles. Harry shoved all of his homework back into his bag and slowly stood to face his newest 'friend' who was staring at him with an odd sort of look on his face.

"What is it?"

Draco shrugged again and went to the door pulling it open and glancing around out in the small stairwell, "All's quiet on the western front. Shall we then?"

Harry nodded and passed through the door that Draco held open, "You read muggle books?"

Draco was quiet and Harry was about to repeat his question unsure that the blond had heard him at all. But when he turned he saw a frown etched onto his face and he waited.

"I read them occasionally." He finally responded his voice sounding much darker than it had before.

Harry could see the light leave Draco's face. It was as though, once he left the room, all of his burdens fell back onto his shoulders. And apparently, Harry had touched on a subject much more sensitive than he'd suspected. But what could be so bad about reading books?

And then his mind corrected, _Reading _muggle_ books_

He grimaced at his own tactlessness but said nothing further. How should he know what things were like for Draco when he wasn't here? Had he ever been criticized, or even punished, for being interested in muggle culture and philosophy? Harry didn't want to think about it.

They separated without many words and Harry went back to Gryffindor tower still feeling rather relieved from Draco's utterly amazing skills. Even if he still felt frustrated by many things, at least sexual frustration was not on the list.

He sighed as he slumped down into his bed. His mind felt foggy almost instantly. Usually he had a hard time getting to sleep with all his worries buzzing about in his head. He wondered briefly if this tentative friendship was more beneficial than he'd thought. He certainly did _feel_ better.

He didn't have much time to sort through his wonderings as sleep slowly seeped into his mind, hazing his thoughts, and eventually dragging him into oblivion.

Xx-XxX-xX

Harry watched Draco more and more. Trying to decipher what he could of his personality. It was almost instantly obvious that Draco hid who he was. Depending on whether or not Harry believed the Draco he met with in the tower room was an act, or the real thing. But he was nearly positive their night time meetings were real.

Draco's only friends seemed to be Slytherins. Crabbe and Goyle obviously. But also Pansy and that other bloke that Harry didn't really know, Blaise. He really only spoke to them all day long. And it was always in a quiet voice so that no one else could here. He hadn't even seen Draco picking on anyone this year. That was a change, or more an improvement.

And, turns out, Draco was damn smart too. Harry hadn't ever really noticed but Draco was usually just a bit under Hermione when it came to grades. That was slightly intimidating. Considering it always felt like Hermione was leaps and bounds ahead of him. To think that Draco could be the same…

And he'd caught a hint of his smile and gentle laughter on rare occasion. It always made him smile too.

So Draco had always been human. Harry just never took the time to notice.

"Harry?" Hermione prodded, "You haven't said anything nearly all day. Are you alright?"

"Fine, fine." Harry said dismissively as he watched which foods Draco would eat for dessert. He'd hardly touched his dinner but as soon as dessert arrived, Draco became seemingly ravenous. He snatched an entire platter of brownies before anyone could even move, and the look on his face dared even one of his peers to protest. No one did.

_He's got a sweet tooth_ Harry thought with a laugh. That wasn't something he'd expected.

"Harry!" Hermione nearly shouted pulling Harry unceremoniously from his reverie and drawing the attention of many in the Great Hall.

"Jeez Hermione… you didn't have to yell." Harry muttered.

"Apparently I do. I've been calling your name for nearly five minutes." She said her mouth tight with displeasure.

"It hasn't been five minutes… has it?" Harry said looking around at his friends for support. But they all glanced away nervously. Harry sighed, "I'm sorry Hermione, what were you saying?"

She stared at him for only a moment and Harry could see the familiar flash of her eyes before she turned away feigning nonchalance, "I was only going to ask if you'd started that essay for charms."

Harry knew she was lying, that wasn't what she'd intended on asking. But right now he hardly even cared. Whatever she was thinking about, she'd probably tell him later. So Harry brushed it off.

Instead, he gave his normal answer (We had an essay in Charms?) And went back to his dinner. Every once in a while he'd steal furtive glances at Draco. But mostly, he just tried to blend in with his friends again. Lately, he'd felt like he stuck out more than usual.

Harry let a few days pass him by before he realized why he felt so on edge. Draco hadn't spoken to him at all. In fact, the boy had hardly looked at him. For a brief moment, he wondered if he had ruined the friendship before it even began but then he realized what it was. Draco wasn't going to invite him to the room again. It was Harry's turn to take action.

He tried to think of a way to do it. Should he send an owl? Well Hedwig stood out like a sore thumb amongst the other owls… Maybe he'd use a school owl. Or… maybe he should just try and slip him a note… but what if someone found it? Yes it was better to have no paper trail. Maybe he could just try and talk to Draco in the library or when they were alone in a hall. But that would be hard to set up… Maybe… he should just copy Draco. After all, Draco was a sly and crafty Slytherin. And though Harry was brave and smart on occasion, he was never all that creative. Maybe the way Draco did it was best and he should just stick to that.

He still hadn't decided as he walked into his Divinations class. It wasn't exactly his favorite class, especially with the predictions of doom every five minutes. But it was an easy A. And Trelawney wasn't so bad, you just had to get used to her.

Today would be an easy day, reading tea leaves again. Supposedly, the bigger your cup the more intricate the predictions could become. By now, the teacups they were using were more than just oversized. Even Hagrid would think these cups were too big.

After he'd finished most of his tea (and poured the rest out) he looked into his teacup and tried to decipher the strange shapes lining the bottom. As usual, the shapes could only loosely be correlated with the examples from the book. Harry's brow creased a bit as he tried to figure it out.

_Okay… well this one here could be a flower which represents love. But… but it's kinda odd shaped. And if you squint at it starts to look a bit like Professor Flitwick's nose. Okay, okay focus Harry. Is it a flower? Well it kinda looks like a turtle too.. Does a turtle represent anything...? hmm…_

Harry didn't get much time to puzzle over it as Professor Trelawney snatched it from his hands before his thoughts could go any further. She looked into the cup and gasped, her hands shaking dramatically.

"You, Mr. Potter, are in grave danger!" Trelawney croaked out, a look of sheer (practiced) terror on her face.

"You don't say… never would have guessed…" Harry muttered under his breath; luckily she didn't hear him.

Harry was struck with a sudden idea. He hardly even considered it. He just knew that this was the time to do it. All the way across the classroom. Draco was sitting with his head resting on his hand while his other hand lazily traced the lip of his teacup. He looked rather bored, and like he wasn't paying attention at all. But his gaze flickered over to Harry for a brief second. And that was enough.

"Actually Professor, I do see something in the cup. Umm... Moonlight. Like maybe I'll be somewhere where there's moonlight say...Tomorrow at midnight?"

Trelawney blinked at him for a moment before she looked back into the cup; moving it to varying distances from her face as she squinted through her glasses, "No… No I see… decisions. Difficult ones. Decisions so horrible that no matter what you choose there will be tragedy! Oh such tragedy…. But… yes... I believe I do see moonlight as well."

She squinted a moment longer before she began nodding in hasty agreement, "Yes! Mr. Potter it seems you do have _the gift_ as they call it. Such powerful clairvoyance!"

Harry couldn't help but hear a low chuckle from somewhere towards the back of the room.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

The next night, Harry sat patiently in the tower room. It was already 12:15. He wondered if Draco had a habit of being late. The first time they were here it had been an accident, and the second, they hadn't set a specific time. Maybe Draco was always late. But he just didn't seem like that type of person.

A few minutes later the door burst open and Draco strode in quickly. He crossed the room in seconds before he plopped himself down on his side of the long window seat and crossed his arms. He didn't even greet Harry at all.

Harry sat a little taken aback and waited for Draco to say something. He didn't. In fact he didn't even bother to look at Harry. He just continued to glare at the empty space in front of him.

"Erm… Draco?"

"What?" he snapped tersely.

Harry drew back at the unwelcoming sound of Draco's voice. Apparently, tonight just wasn't going to pan out. Harry didn't have the time or the will to sit and try to reason with an obviously pissed off Slytherin. So he stood and straightened out his robes. He was more than a little hurt by Draco's coldness. Not that he'd say anything. He'd just act as rudely as Draco had. And if he didn't get the message, tough luck for him.

"Fine then, since you're obviously not in the mood for conversation…" Harry trailed as he went to walk away but a pale hand shot out and grabbed his wrist, restraining him.

Harry turned to see Draco was looking at the floor, "I'm sorry just… I had a hard day."

"Yeah well that's no reason for you to act like an ass." Harry muttered back snatching his hand from Draco's grasp.

"Yeah, I fucking get it. No need to lecture me okay. Just sit down."

Harry pursed his lips in indecision for a while longer before finally he sighed heavily and sat back down crossing his arms over his chest. Once more, he waited for Draco to speak but he never did. Exasperated with the suddenly morose and taciturn boy Harry sighed again and poked him hard in the arm.

"Well, you gonna tell me what's wrong?"

Draco sneered at Harry but the poisonous look slowly mellowed until he looked away again and laughed lightly, "As if I could tell you…"

Harry felt his anger cooling slowly. Draco obviously had a problem, and it wasn't as simple as forgetting his History of Magic assignment. If it was something he couldn't tell Harry it was most likely something…. Darker.

Harry took his time responding trying to think of the right words. Thinking of his words before he said them was a behavior that was definitely rare for him. But he was always a bit more careful in front of Draco.

"Well… I thought you said everything in this room is neutral. So if it has to do with the war…"

Draco shook his head, "I'm not fucking talking about Voldemort right now. My entire world doesn't revolve around the goddamn Dark Lord or whatever the hell you want to call him…"

Harry bit his lip to keep himself from responding the way he normally would have. But things weren't normal anymore. And for this idea to work he needed to be just slightly more objective. He took a deep calming breath and tried again.

"So then what the fuck is it, Malfoy?"

_ahh… not as calm as I'd hoped to try and come off…_

Draco turned to him as though he was ready to start yelling and Harry sat still, waiting for it. He didn't back away. If Draco needed to yell by all means let him yell. It wouldn't bother Harry one little bit. He was used to it. At seeing that Harry wasn't scared that that he wouldn't run away, Draco sighed and turned away again.

"I guess my entire world does sort of revolve around the Dark Lord. I wish it didn't though…"

Harry stayed silent waiting, hoping Draco would continue. He was, honestly, a bit curious about the boy. He saw him all the time in the past 5 years. They fought, they argued. But Draco was turning out to be so different than what he'd seemed. How it was possible to know someone for 5 years and not really _know_ them, Harry couldn't fathom.

Draco was slow to speak as though he were weighing his words carefully. He was probably trying not to give too much away. Harry didn't begrudge him any of this. He knew in that situation he'd probably do the same.

Draco sighed and pulled up his left sleeve revealing his forearm. Harry looked but saw nothing; there was no mark, only pale skin. Confused he looked back up at Draco to find that he too was staring at the small expanse of flesh.

"Umm… there's nothing there…"

"Of course there's nothing there." Draco said in his usual sarcastic tone, "I haven't taken the mark….yet."

"So then… you will take it eventually?" Harry asked slowly.

Draco shrugged and pulled his sleeve down hastily and straightening out the cuff, "I don't know. My father… My father thinks I should. In fact, he commanded I take it or he'll… _disown_ me. Funny, huh?" Draco said giving a poor attempt at laughter.

Harry bit his lip, he didn't know what to say exactly and he had a bad habit of being insensitive when it came to things like this so he figured he'd just shut up. Turns out that was the right thing to do.

Draco continued to speak, "You know how you said this is your last year? It's mine too… My father sent me an owl again today. Soon as summer comes along, I'll have to take the mark and join him. So really, this year means a lot to me I suppose."

Draco's shoulders sagged a little longer before finally he straightened himself out. Almost as though he were still trying to be the proud Slytherin Harry had once known. But they both knew there was more beyond them than their stigmas now. Harry had to respect Draco's strength and grace under pressure. It made him smile to see the almost arrogant sort of pride filling up Draco's gray eyes.

"So, I'm not all that good at the business of apologizing and such, but I'm sorry I snapped at you."

Harry nodded, "It's no big deal, Draco."

Harry watched Draco's lips curve into a small smile, "So tell me something about yourself, Potter. I want to hear something, anything. Distract me from my own 'inner turmoil' as they say?"

Harry shrugged a bit and finally felt his body relaxing into a more comfortable position, "What do you want me to talk about? It's not like there's anything all that interesting about me…"

Draco laughed lightly, "You're the saviour of the goddamn universe. If there's nothing interesting about you then the entire world must be boring as fuck. Come on, Potter. Tell me something, anything."

"Well… I'd actually prefer you stop calling me that."

Draco's brow creased in obvious confusion, "What? Did I accidentally call you scarhead or something?"

Now it was Harry's turn to laugh a bit, "No just, I'd prefer you call me Harry."

It got quiet for a moment and they just kind of stared at each other. They were both a little surprised at how well their friendship seemed to be working and how easily they became closer to one another. Draco was the first to clear his throat.

"Alright, Harry then. So back to our topic since you always seem to lead us astray, you're supposed to be distracting me from my inner turmoil. So hop to it."

Harry rolled his eyes, "Well like I said, I've got nothing to say."

"Tell me about… your family."

"…My parents are dead Draco."

"Did I say parents? I said family. You had to live with someone before you came to Hogwarts. Or did you stay with Dumbledore or something?" Draco's eyes looked a bit shifty at the mention of Dumbledore but Harry ignored it.

"Oh… well no, I honestly didn't know I was a wizard till I got my letter from Hogwarts. So I stayed with my aunt and uncle in the muggle world… The Dursley's. They're not really my family. That's why I never get Christmas presents or letters from home." Harry sighed and even he could hear the bitter edge to his voice, "The only person who ever sent me anything was S-" Harry paused in thought, "Was Snuffles."

"Snuffles?" Draco echoed, a hint of laughter in his voice.

Harry nodded.

Draco raised his eyebrows in obvious doubt but shook his head, "So you do have some surviving relatives then. And they never send you owls or anything? I've never even heard of them. Some family they are."

Harry felt his face twist into a grimace, "I already said, they're not my family. They treated me horribly. Still do in fact…"

Draco was silent for a moment weighing the resentful angry look on Harry's face, "…Define horribly?"

Harry sighed exasperated, "Well for starters they were always insulting my parents. They told me they died in a car crash…"

"A car crash!" Draco exclaimed shocked, "A fucking car crash? You mean you didn't know _anything_ till you came to Hogwarts?"

Harry shook his head, "They hate magic. It's freakish in their eyes so they hated me too, I think. I mean, unless I was being yelled at, they ignored me completely. No birthdays. No Christmas. At least not for me. That fat bastard Dudley got everything."

"Dudley?" Draco asked now genuinely curious.

"Dudley's my cousin. He's a spoiled brat. For the longest time he used to have two rooms. 'Til I learned magic and they were frightened enough that I finally got my own room."

Harry watched as Draco's brow creased in confusion, "But that wasn't till you were eleven. Where the hell'd you stay before that if you didn't have a room?"

Harry flushed a little bit, "Well, I guess I did kinda have a room. Umm… in the cupboard under the stairs."

Draco was entirely silent for about thirty seconds before his face exploded in anger. Harry leaned away from him not sure what Draco might do in such a volatile state. He hadn't seen him this furious in a long while.

"The cupboard under the stairs? You can't be serious!"

Harry's silence was answer enough and Draco was nearly fuming.

"Umm… sorry but why are you so upset?" Harry finally found the courage to ask.

"Because!" Draco near shouted back before his voice calmed a bit, "You know what Voldemort told everyone? He said that this living with muggles thing was a ploy to keep you hidden from the wizarding world and that really you've been with Dumbledore. That you've grown up as a spoiled, mindless Dumbledore follower."

Harry stiffened a little at that and not knowing what to say, went back to watching the emotions spread across Draco's face. Who would have guessed that if one paid attention, Draco was really quite easy to read.

Draco shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose lightly trying to calm himself so that he'd at least be able to imitate composure.

"So… I'm assuming that didn't do very much to distract you from your inner turmoil."

Draco chuckled a little, "It did help, in a twisted sort of way. I just can't believe that—"

"Hold it right there. I can see where this is going. I don't want your pity. So save it."

Draco was silent and just stared, sizing him up. His eyes traveled up and down before lingering on Harry's face. Harry shivered from the strange sensation of knowing he was being watched. Of watching someone watch him…

"…So you still live with them?"

Harry sighed heavily, "Every summer at least."

Draco shook his head, "I… I don't pity you, you know. Not at all. I'm definitely pissed off. But I don't pity you."

Harry nodded doubtfully. But he wasn't willing to try and argue with him so he only accepted it. And honestly, despite their efforts to be polite Harry was still a little wary of Draco's temper. He didn't want it directed at him. Not that he couldn't handle it of course. He'd handled it for years. It was just that now, he was trying not to fight with Draco. Though he had to admit, at times… it was difficult.

Draco shrugged, "Sorry I got so upset. I just never expected you to be anything less than a pampered brat. Always soaking up your fame wherever you can..."

Harry ground his teeth together feeling his restraint beginning to weaken. And then suddenly. He let it go. No friendship was worth his dignity. If Draco could dish out insults, he could take them too.

"Well you're one to talk, Malfoy." Harry muttered darkly.

And it seemed as though in only one second, all that they had built shattered. Draco's eyes darkened noticeably before and his jaw set, "Excuse me?" He asked but he didn't sound incredulous at all. He sounded as though this is what he'd expected from the beginning. And that fueled Harry's anger further.

"You heard what I said. You're one to talk about others being spoiled brats when that's exactly what you are."

"Firstly, you don't know a god damn thing about my life. And secondly, what, was I just supposed to know your past? Excuse the hell out of me for not putting the Golden Boy's autobiography on my reading list."

Harry felt his eyes narrow. Picking on his fame always pissed him off beyond repair. There was no going back now. There hardly ever was when they fought. It was always all or nothing. Harry and Draco were meant to fight, just as they always had. This was unavoidable. And now that it had started, it was unstoppable.

"Don't you ever call me that." Harry hissed.

"What should I call you then? Your Majesty? Oh Great Savior?"

Harry stood and straightened his robes preparing to leave. He had no reason to stay now anyway, "Fuck you, Malfoy."

"Oh we both know you're the one who enjoys being fucked, Potter." Draco spit out Harry's surname as though it were a filthy curse.

Harry turned back, his nostrils flaring. That was a very, very low blow and they both knew it. Harry had been nervous and doubtful enough about what had happened between them.

"You're the most insufferable, horrible, disgusting bastard I've ever met. I'm not the golden boy or the saviour or whatever the fuck else you insist on labeling me with. And if you can't see that… you're worse than I thought and I already thought you were fucking awful. You are lower than low, Malfoy."

All of this Draco took in stride. He sat with his arms crossed staring up at Harry as though he was listening to a rather boring lecture. Exasperated by Draco's obvious lack of remorse Harry turned on his heel and headed for the door, "Whatever…" he muttered under his breath.

Just as he was reaching for the knob Draco spoke again, "So then if you're not the great chosen one, what are you?" he asked sarcasm dripping like venom from his words.

Now that the flash burn of anger was gone Harry felt the hollow sense of regret and depression coming on. He couldn't bring himself to answer rudely but, he wasn't about to apologize either. He settled for the truth.

"I'm just… Harry." He muttered not caring whether Draco really heard him, let alone understood his meaning. With that he left almost sprinting back down the stairs and to the Gryffindor common room. He was drained. And upset with himself.

That was not the way he'd wanted tonight to end. But Draco had gotten on his nerves from nearly the moment he'd walked in. Even though Harry had seen that Draco was in a volatile mood earlier, he'd still deliberately provoked him. What had he been thinking? That they were second years again? That he had time to waste being rude and mean just for the hell of it.

Every day brought him closer to the end of the year, and inevitably, towards his adulthood. He'd have plenty of disappointment and anger and frustration then. Why add more?

_Because I'm __an__ idiot that's why._

Their argument seemed to fly by so quickly, one moment they were talking and the next… all Harry could see and feel was anger; then he was running away. He was a little surprised at how easy it was for them to hurt each other. But five years of practice certainly was a factor.

And as Harry plopped down into one of the arm chairs before the fire he felt worse than he had in a very long while. He felt stupid and guilty. And worse was Draco's reaction. As though he'd been expecting it. As though he knew, that underneath Harry's mask of calm there was resentment and frustration, waiting to be vented on the easiest target. Which always seemed to be Draco. He hadn't even looked disappointed.

Harry was hurt that Draco would expect him to act so cruelly. As though he had never trusted that Harry would be able to stay civil.

And even worse than that, was Draco had been right.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Draco sighed heavily as he tried to concentrate on the assigned reading for Arithmancy. It was always slightly more difficult to study in the common room but that wasn't why he couldn't focus today. He simply couldn't get Harry out of his head. The look on his face as he'd spoken so powerfully to Draco was more than haunting.

He could still see his darkened jade eyes brightened only by the moonlight as he spoke, 'I'm just… Harry.'

Draco knew exactly how that felt. To be seen as only the reputation you carry around rather than as who you really are. Sometimes he truly hated when his reputation preceded him. And he felt guiltier than sin for picking on Harry about it. Not that he'd admit that. Because Malfoy's aren't supposed to feel guilt.

It was true that Harry had started the argument by not-so-accidentally and very rudely touching on a subject that happened to be delicate for Draco. But that wasn't an excuse for Draco to continue on with it. He was more mature than that, wasn't he?

Of course, his problems that existed outside of the room had affected his attitude. He'd shown up with a bad mind-set. But at least he'd shown up. He wouldn't leave Harry to sit alone. He had more respect for the Gryffindor than that. He'd hoped secretly that maybe that respect had been mutual but apparently he was wrong. No matter what he did, to Harry he would always be a cruel and selfish Malfoy.

If Harry could just be Harry, why couldn't Draco just be Draco?

He sighed again and closed the heavy book throwing it to the ground and scaring a couple of first years who had been sitting nearby.

"Something wrong, darling?" Pansy asked as she plopped down next to him.

Draco sighed and shook his head not exactly up for discussing his thoughts.

Pansy was actually one of his good friends. After she realized that the only reason she ever wanted to marry him was because her father had told her to, she firmly opposed the idea. But she always used names of endearment for Draco just because she knew it had bothered him. By now though, he was used to it.

"Oh come on, love. You can't lie to your dearest friend Pansy. I know when something is troubling you. You should just spill all the juicy details. It'll spare me the trouble of interrogating you and then we can both be on our way."

Draco grimaced, aware that Pansy wasn't going to let this go. Better to give her some half truths so that she would leave him alone than say nothing and have her badger him for all eternity.

"Well… what do you do when you've said something awful to someone and you want to make it up to them?" Draco asked slowly, weighing his words. He didn't want to give anything away about who that person might be.

Pansy's blue eyes were calculating. Though she could be quite ditzy about many things, she was very intelligent when it came to reading people. He could tell she was running a list of people Draco would ever want to apologize to through her head. And luckily, he was pretty sure she'd never guess it was Harry Potter.

"Well it depends on the person. Not every puzzle can be put together the same way."

Draco nodded and felt his brow furrow in thought. Normally, if he needed to apologize he would never actually say he was sorry. But rather he would buy the person something. Forgiveness had a price, and it was most often counted in galleons. But in this case he wasn't sure that would work. Potter didn't seem the type to be bought off. Maybe a simple apology would be the only thing necessary. Gryffindors were all about that kind of stuff. Sincerity over money and gifts. As long as Draco could convince Harry he really meant it...

"Well, I doubt you're going to tell me much more on the subject." Pansy prodded.

"And you'd be correct." Draco answered with a smirk.

She rolled her eyes, "Well my best advice is that you think of something. Probably a gift. But nothing stupid. Something very thoughtful. Give it to that 'someone' along with your best act of sincerity and a rehearsed apology."

Draco nodded, "That sounds about right, but what if it doesn't work?"

"If that doesn't work," Pansy said standing and bending to kiss Draco's forehead, "You're screwed."

Draco grimaced and wiped the spot where Pansy had kissed him.

"See you later, sweetheart." Pansy said as she skipped away.

_That girl has serious guts to stick her lips on me…_

Draco rolled his eyes and picked back up his textbook. He sat it in his lap and opened it to a random page. It didn't matter. He wasn't really reading it anyway. He was thinking.

A gift then… but what?

Xx-XxX-xX

Harry was in absolute agony. How could he have been so rude and careless with his words? He hadn't thought it would affect him like this. It was just another argument with Malfoy. Nothing out of the ordinary at all. Except for how much was at stake this time. They had just begun a friendship; they'd finally been comfortable enough to speak to each other without feeling tense. But Harry went and ruined it all.

Part of him was still repeating the normal, "It's just Malfoy. What have you got to lose?"

But the rest of him knew exactly what was at stake. Not only the strange and stress relieving friendship they had. But… in all honesty. The sex. Harry definitely didn't want to give that up yet. Not before he saw just how far he could go with it. He wasn't sure he was gay but he obviously wasn't as straight as he thought. And it wasn't even just sex that he was worried about, but sex with Draco in particular. …Draco was the best he'd ever had. Not that he had a long track record to begin with… but in any case, he was plagued by dreams of the blond almost every night only to awaken frustrated and unfulfilled. And he could have gotten more; he could have quelled this sudden aching need. If only he'd been able to shut his god damn mouth.

And now he was worried it was gone forever. And he'd live forever with thoughts of the Prince of Slytherin only a distant fantasy, never to be realized again.

Harry groaned and started banging his head into the table in the Great Hall making just about everyone jump in alarm.

"Harry! Harry, stop it!" Hermione said urgently as she pulled on his shoulder.

"What's the matter with you?" Ron asked with obvious concern and shock.

"I did something horrible."

Hermione sighed, "It couldn't have been that bad. Tell me what's wrong?"

"I said some pretty terrible things to someone who completely didn't deserve it."

Ron rolled his eyes and began to dig into his breakfast again, "That's all? Here you had us all really worried."

"But I have to apologize. And I don't know how."

"It's pretty simple, mate." Dean said as he leaned forward to pull a muffin off of a tray, "Open your mouth, take a deep breath and say, 'I'm sorry.'"

Harry scowled at him, "If it were that simple I would have done it already."

"You'll think of a way Harry, I'm sure of it." Ginny assured him with a smile.

Harry smiled back awkwardly at her. He never did feel normal around her again since he and Draco had…

A high screech interrupted his thoughts.

"Mail's here." Ron said indifferently.

Harry sighed and went back to his thoughts. The mail was no reason for him to pause. Sirius was gone now…

A pretty brown owl with startlingly bright blue eyes landed in front of him abruptly. Harry looked back and forth between his friends. They all knew there was really only one person who ever sent him mail.

The owl dropped a small brown package on which a note was attached. Harry gave the owl a bit of his bacon in thanks and briefly stroked its feathers before watching it take off again.

"What's that Harry?" Seamus asked leaning to get a better look.

"I'll know when I open it." Harry muttered.

He slowly removed the note.

**Harry,**

**You said you don't get mail so I figured this would be an**

**acceptable medium. I'll be there Friday at midnight.**

**M**

Harry stared at the paper and felt a slow smile work onto his face. So all was not lost. He did have a chance to fix it. And he would. He owed Draco that much.

At first he just stared at the note a little longer. Draco had very nice handwriting. And the M he used as a signature was elaborate and beautiful. Harry realized he was getting lost in his thoughts and he shoved the note into his pocket before anyone else could steal a peak at it. Now he focused his attention on the package.

Inside was a small vial filled with a purple liquid. He felt his face twist in confusion. Hopefully this wasn't Draco's form of revenge or something… thinking it would be better to be safe than sorry, Harry decided to ask Hermione what it was. She was bound to know.

"Hermione, do you know what this is." Harry asked holding the vial out to her.

Hermione looked back up from where she'd been reading a letter of her own and turned to examine the gently sparkling, deep purple potion. She took it from Harry's hand gingerly and examined it closely before pulling the stopper and sniffing it.

"Harry, no wonder you're failing potions." She said with a slightly patronizing smile, "Do you remember that potion we were trying to make the other day?"

"Yeah, the one for my eyesight right?"

She smiled and handed him the vial, "Looks like someone took pity on your poor potions skills."

Harry stared at the swirling purple liquid before he felt a strange sort of happiness. Draco had remembered that? And took the time to make this for him?

Harry still felt a little guilty though. Draco wasn't the one who needed to be apologizing. It was mainly Harry's fault. But Harry couldn't deny how happy Draco's thoughtfulness made him. How he ever thought Slytherins were heartless, he'd never know.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Harry took deep calming breaths as he walked up the stairs to the tower room. He had his apology all planned out. He'd written it out, had Hermione check it for errors, memorised and rehearsed it. Now all he had to do was actually get it right when he was faced with Draco.

As he neared the door he saw there was a figure already standing there. His first reflex was to hide in the shadows but it was too late, he'd been spotted. Luckily, it wasn't Filch. But someone he knew.

"No need to jump like a scared cat, Potter. I don't breathe fire you know." Draco said with his usual sarcasm, but there was a lack of his usual charm. It was like he was saying the words, but there wasn't any feeling behind it at all.

Harry took another deep breath and nodded walking up the last few stairs to Draco's side. They stared for only a short moment before Draco held the door open and whispered a polite but apathetic, "After you."

Harry swallowed hard, scared by this sudden change in his… friend. Even at his worst, Draco was never emotionless. He hoped that this wasn't a permanent change. He wasn't sure he could handle it if it was.

Harry moved across the relatively small room in only a few long strides before he sat on his side of the window seat like always. He fidgeted a little still not able to find a comfortable sitting position on the stones. And yet he always forgot to bring a cushion or something.

Draco sat down on the opposite side giving Harry plenty of space; too much space in Harry's opinion. He looked calm and confident except that he was wringing his hands quite ardently. Hard enough that Harry was sure it must hurt. But he ignored that and focused on Draco's face. He could literally see the emotion breaking through the cold defense. But still Draco said nothing, only watched Harry, much the same as Harry was watching him.

"So… you used the potion then."

"Huh?" was Harry immediate response; not sure exactly what Draco was referring to. Then it dawned on him

Yes, the potion. It had been amazing. As soon as he'd drank it down he could tell the difference. Everything was strikingly more colorful and bold. The lines of definition seemed amplified. He'd been shocked at just how much he'd been missing. But Hermione had informed him that the first few minutes after the potion was consumed, vision will be extremely clear, almost super human. Harry had made a few super hero jokes that really no one else got but him before he concentrated on looking at things.

Everything seemed to just… glow in striking high definition. There was no way to confuse one thing for another as everything was completely distinct. In fact Harry found himself studying seemingly banal objects as though they were great works of art. Had his tie always been the exact perfect contrast of red and gold? Had the startling color of Ron's hair ever been a better shade? Had the doorknobs always been the dulled yet prefect dusty gold color?

After about thirty minutes the effects wore off but Harry could have sworn he was seeing things in that same clarity again. Was there anything more beautiful than seeing Draco in the moonlight? He looked like a god. Silver and shining, on a completely different plane than Harry…

Draco sighed heavily, "Are you giving me the cold shoulder or something?"

"Huh?" Harry grunted again just as inelegantly as he had before. Then he realized he'd spent all that time thinking and still hadn't answered Draco's question, "Oh… erm. Yeah. Thanks for the potion, Malfoy."

Harry winced at his cold words and opened his mouth to start again but Draco raised a hand to stop him. It was Draco's turn to take a deep breath and he looked at Harry, unmistakable candor in his eyes.

"Well, I'm sure we both know what happened that other night, wasn't intentional. Or at least, I never intended to insult you. I would say old habits die hard but I know there really is no excuse for my behaviour. And further I'd…" Draco trailed but his gaze never left Harry face. Finally he sighed and let his shoulders sag.

"Fuck this." Draco said his voice once again as casual as Harry remembered from their previous meetings. He was obviously abandoning his practiced apology for a more personal one.

"Let me start again. I already told you I'm not too good at all this apology business. But I _am_ sorry. I'm not a spoiled brat, no where near really. And when you said I was, I sort of lost all will to talk to you civilly. Does that make any sense?"

Harry nodded stupidly, not sure what else to do.

"But I _do_ want to be your friend, Harry." Draco said offering him the smallest of smile, "So I'm sorry."

Harry could only nod again. He knew it was his turn to speak but he couldn't seem to remember how. He grasped around in his mind for the right words. He'd gone over them and over them. He'd memorised them but it was like the words had vanished into thin air. He panicked a little before he just spoke, hoping with all his might that he wouldn't say something else stupid.

"I-I'm sorry too." He stuttered.

Draco smirked a little, "Ever the articulate Gryffindor I see."

Harry opened his mouth to say all that he'd been thinking. To let Draco know that he hadn't meant to be rude. He'd just said something thoughtlessly. He wanted to tell Draco that he couldn't waste time being rude and that he needed this more than he'd thought. And that he hadn't realized how much he needed it until he was faced with the possibility that it was over. He wanted to use all those pretty words he'd painstakingly picked out to convey just how sorry was. To explain all the reasons.

But Draco only held up his hand again his smirk fading to more of an easy smile, "It's not important. We just both know we're sorry and that's what matters."

And Harry could see it was true. They both regretted what had been said so it was easier to just forget it. He sighed, "I just don't want to fight anymore. This is my last year and I can't afford to waste time fighting over stupid shit. Especially since you've turned out to be… not half bad."

"Oh well thanks for the compliment." Draco laughed rolling his eyes.

"Credit where credit's due, Malfoy." Harry smirked before laughing nervously and running his hand through his already messy hair, "Well I'm glad that's out of the way. But I didn't think to get you a gift. I didn't know what you'd want…"

Draco laughed, "Gift? I was taking pity on you. I'm tired of seeing those round lenses in front of your face everywhere you go."

At first Harry was almost fooled but he rolled his eyes at Draco trying to pass of his thoughtfulness with nonchalance.

_How very Slytherin_ he noted.

"Well anyways, it was great so thanks, Draco."

Draco nodded and they both relaxed a little. Glad to be past the apologies without of either of them giving away too much about just how much they needed these little meetings. Harry was certainly glad he hadn't said everything he had wanted to. Though he trusted Draco more than he'd ever dreamed possible in the past, he wasn't sure he'd ever want to give anyone that kind of power over him.

"So umm… now that that's said and done. Will you tell me some things?"

Draco raised an eyebrow at Harry, "Things?" He asked, clearly trying to downplay the curiosity in his voice.

"Well… it feels a little one sided, you knowing my past and me not really knowing yours. I wondered if you'd… you know. Be comfortable enough to tell me."

Draco's eyes drew on a heavier look and he sighed, "That's a lot to ask."

"You asked the same of me." Harry pointed out.

Draco nodded apparently resigned to the fact that this topic would have come up eventually, "Well, there's not much to tell. My father's a prick. My mother's helpless. I don't really talk to them much. They're just people who live in my house."

"So you never spend any time with them?"

Draco eyed him suspiciously and Harry just shrugged, "I used to try. But really there's nothing for us to say to each other. I mean, the most interaction I get is when my mother sends me gifts."

Harry scoffed, "Some mother that is."

Draco's face was livid in seconds, "Don't you fucking talk about my mother."

Harry jumped up from where he'd been reclining against the window. His back was stiff as a board when he realized he was making the same mistake as last time. Only now it was completely unintentional.

"Wait, Draco. I didn't mean that the way it sounded okay. I don't know… I'm an idiot. Ignore me, okay?"

Draco sighed heavily through his nose but his eyes still pinned Harry with a murderous glare, "I'll let it go this time but watch that mouth of yours. My mother is a good woman, trapped as she is with the evil bastard of a father I have. And I won't let you say anything bad about her."

"Of course not Draco, I didn't mean it. I'm sorry."

Draco rolled his eyes and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "Bloody Gryffindors…"

Harry decided it was time to change the topic yet again. And again, it was something he'd been thinking about for a while. He hoped it would be just the thing to cheer Draco up. To make sure they were on good terms again. He took a really deep breath and asked.

"Umm.. I've got another question for you."

Draco grimaced.

"It's not about your life or anything." Harry quickly continued, "Just… a question."

"Alright. Ask." Draco answered briskly.

"Well I was just wondering," Harry said trying his best not to look as seductive as he truly wanted to look, "How much you enjoyed buggering me that other night."

Harry watched as Draco's annoyance evaporated off of his face in three second flat. Draco laughed out loud, it was clear and happy sound, "God you're good at changing the subject!"

Harry smiled glad to see his question had done exactly what he'd hoped, "So umm, did you?" he asked again.

Draco was watching him closely, still trying to get control over his laughter before he answered, "If I were going to answer like I normally would, I would say something like 'It's was alright but no better than my many other conquests.' But since I'm being honest, I'll let you in on a secret."

Harry found himself leaning in closer waiting to hear this secret. Wanting to hear that Draco had loved it. And that he wanted to do it again. Well, specifically that last part. Knowing that Draco had loved it and wanted more would quell all of Harry's insecurities.

Draco smirked and his voice dropped, "I hadn't gotten any in a while, and hell yes I enjoyed your tight arse more than you can even imagine."

Harry let out a shaking breath, "Good." He whispered not aware that he'd said it loud enough for Draco to hear until he was faced with that perfectly infuriating Malfoy smirk once more.

"Well… Fancy doing it again?" Harry asked, ashamed that he could hear his own nervous insecurities in his voice and knowing beyond a doubt that it wouldn't escape Draco's awareness.

It didn't.

Draco sized him up carefully and smiled wider, "We just got finished apologizing, then you, however unwittingly, insulted me again and now you want to have sex. The only conclusion I can come to is that you have absolutely no attention span."

Harry laughed, "You're right. But at least I'm honest."

"At least." Draco agreed, "But I'm not sure I should indulge your wildest Slytherin-filled fantasies. I'm starting to think you have a little crush on me."

Harry swallowed hard before he shook away the thoughts he wasn't even ready to acknowledge. He laughed, "Ugh… are you trying to make me sick? I happen to have a crush on your cock, not you."

It took Harry a moment to realize what he'd said and why Draco was laughing so hard. But he joined in unable not to see the hilarity in his own comments. Man, he really needed to start thinking before he spoke.

"Well honestly, I wouldn't mind doing you again." Draco said as their laughter wore away.

Harry sighed in relief, "Really? When?"

Draco rubbed his chin in a mocking manner, only feigning deep thought, "Well I know we just got over another spat but… Now?"

Harry felt a shiver of anticipation, "Now. Now is good."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

This was much different from last time. Because now, there was no alcohol. Not even the tiniest bit to ease Harry's worries. To smooth over the rough edges. There was nothing. Well… that's not quite true. There were a few new additions.

One example being the bed. In their drunken stupor last time, they hadn't thought to transfigure anything into a bed. But Draco knew exactly how to do it. It made Harry question just how many sexual excursions the blond had taken part in. But still the bed was a welcome addition to the mix.

The thing Harry wished he didn't have right now was his shame. He wished he felt as free as he had last time. But now, his cheeks were burning red as he bent over for Draco. This time, Draco's hands were ten times more precise. There was no mindless groping as there had been. Because he was sober, Harry assumed, he could actually concentrate on some sort of technique and not rely on simple wild lust. Not the tiniest effort was made in vain. Every single movement of the man behind him was for pleasure; either Harry's or his own.

"Harry, just relax alright." He heard Draco's low voice.

And that was different. It was somehow a thousand times more personal when Draco said his first name. A thousand times more arousing…

Draco had already inserted one finger but he'd had to pull it out again. Harry was tight and nervous and near shouted at Draco give him a moment to catch his breath. As soon as Harry had felt the appendage inside him, he was strangely fearful. Not that Draco would hurt him. No, Draco was very gentle… But he had been filled with a nervousness beyond words. He was nervous because he knew Draco was really seeing all of him, feeling all of him. And he wanted Draco to like him, but he was nervous to give himself up. To let go and let someone else inside of him; both figuratively and literally.

Draco kissed the back of Harry's neck again the same way he had last time. He must have caught on that it was a weak spot for Harry. A few more simple soft spoken words and strategically placed kisses and Harry knew he was turning to dough in Draco's hands. He wondered at Draco's amazing manipulative skills…

"Ah… that's it Harry, relax." The gentle whisper in his ear assured. And Harry's body was obeying.

Draco kissed all the way down Harry's spine and they were both letting out small pleasure sounds. Harry had never experienced anything more amazing than Draco's lips. They continued down the cleft of his arse and Harry felt fingers dig into his soft flesh and spread him wide. Harry was nervous, afraid at just how much of himself Draco was getting a good look at.

He heard Draco give a muted groan and he was surprised to feel heaving breath caressing the sensitive skin around his entrance. He could even feel the rim of his hole pulsing and waiting for more. Harry listened to Draco's labored breath for what seemed like an eternity before he finally heard words.

"Oh fuck it." Draco muttered and the next thing Harry felt was lips against his entrance.

He cried out in shocked pleasure and complete disgust, "That is so sick! And feels… so _goooood._"

Draco backed away with a breathless chuckle, "It is sick," he assented, "But god damn it if your cute little hole didn't just beg me to do that."

Draco was tentative as he leaned in to try it again. Harry was surprised at just how good it felt. He was drowning in the hot flames that lapped at his skin. Draco's lips were soft but invading, gentle but commanding. If that makes any sense at all. And then his tongue… Harry gave another yelp as the point of Draco's tongue circled his hole a few times. And then he groaned low and long as he used the flat of his tongue to lick the sensitive skin fully. God there was so much about sex that Harry hadn't guessed could feel anywhere near as good as porn stars made it look.

But it did.

There was no teasing; there wasn't enough time for that. Nor did they have the will to toy with each other. This was all about gratification. And so Harry didn't have to wait long to feel the press of Draco's tongue inside his body and he moaned loudly praying to the gods that the silencing charms held up.

He felt fingers reaching up to tease his balls and then slowly wrap around his cock. Draco's tugged in slow masterful strokes that made Harry's muscles begin to quiver. He felt as though he was turning to a liquid and he wondered how much longer he could stay up on his hands and knees like this. Draco's mouth pulled away and Harry winced at the squelching sound. It was still just a tiny bit gross.

Draco inserted his finger again and Harry felt the panic build up but he held it firmly down. As the second finger pushed in, strangely, Harry relaxed more. There was a burning stretch that felt oddly right. He liked it. He was positive Draco wouldn't hurt him. And even more positive that Draco liked him and wanted him.

"Maybe we should do it from the front. You seem wobbly." Draco said as he pulled away and turned Harry over.

When they saw each other's face's they both flushed and looked away, unused to the intimacy of looking at another's face while having sex. In the past it was only bodies, but now they were face to face, unable to deny who they were with. Draco lay on top of Harry, spreading his legs and settling his hips between them. Draco reached down to position himself and delicious shockwaves of pleasure shot up Harry's spine as Draco's knuckles lightly grazed the underside of his throbbing length. And suddenly Harry couldn't be nervous if he tried. There simply wasn't enough room for any nervous thoughts in his lust filled mind.

Draco tried his best to position himself but the awkward angle did little to help him see. In the end, it took a few blind jabs and some repositioning before Harry felt the wide head of Draco's warm cock pressing inside him. He felt a moan begin to pour like a liquid from his throat. He closed his mouth to keep it inside but still he knew his whimpers were audible.

And oh the feeling! Harry's body still wasn't accustomed to this sort of act, but the feeling was certainly familiar. How many times had Harry dreamed of having this again? And now it was his once more. Now he was living out his dreams. And that was the best sort of satisfaction he could get.

He glanced up at Draco as the next few thrusts were made. Draco's face was pinched tight at first, most likely in concentration. There was something kind of cute about it. And as the intrusion finally slipped deep inside him Harry saw Draco's face relax. They both groaned at the feeling of being connected again. There really was nothing like this, Harry had to admit.

Harry wrapped his arms around the man above him, occasionally scratching his skin or tugging at his hair. He liked the bit of control he had. But he wanted more! He was rocking his hips trying desperately to get Draco to see his urgency, to feel his needs. Thankfully, though he didn't acknowledge it was because of Harry's non-verbal begging, Draco sped up pushing into Harry's body with unfettered raw lust.

At that point, Harry began to lose coherent thought. It was only feelings, and actions, and wants, and needs. Everything became a blur; all moonlight and skin tones. And… heat.

"Faster… faster…." Harry heard the muttering and was surprised to realize it was coming from him.

Draco's hips were ramming forward now. Pushing Harry's body to places he hadn't imagined could exist. To be _taken_. To be stretched and made to take something his body wouldn't otherwise accommodate. And Draco felt so big. Pushing deeper and deeper until Harry was sure he had to be fucking his intestines or something of the like. It was too much. Too deep. Too…. _Good._

Harry watched as different emotions rippled over Draco's face. It was more than interesting, it was exciting. To see the effect he had on another. And damn those pink lips, parted and wet as Draco gasped for air and moaned quietly after any particularly deep thrust. Harry stared at those lips and licked his own imagining what it might be like to kiss… to taste… and wanting it more than he knew he should.

Draco very suddenly pushed against Harry's prostate and the scorching prickles of pleasure barreled though his body turning him into a shivering mess. More than anything Harry could suddenly feel the burn of his needy cock. He'd never before thought of his body as greedy but he could now see it was true. He was trying to take as much of Draco as he could and even just that filled him with indescribable ecstasy. But he couldn't help but reach down to grasp at his leaking cock and tug firmly.

At first he busied himself watching his own clear sticky fluid as it dripped against his lower stomach. But as Draco's moans grew in volume and frequency he glanced up at his face again. His cheeks were a pale pink color and his eyes were mostly screwed shut. But he glanced up and they looked straight at each other.

They both flushed a little and looked away; unable to handle the awkward intimacy they found in looking at each other while committing this act.

Draco ground his hips in, circling them carefully so that his thick length unmercifully rubbed Harry's tender inner walls.

"Fuck…." Draco bit out and his hands dug harder and harder into Harry's hips.

The few times Draco's hand had strayed from their position on Harry's hips, they'd almost immediately returned. As though Draco were afraid to touch him… But Harry couldn't ponder too much on that.

It was coming… He felt the hollow burn in his low stomach and he knew…

Harry wasn't sure if he said any distinct words as he came, it was a more a garbled mess of syllables. His orgasm had hit him full force knocking him into an entirely different realm. But then it was over…

He slumped back only now aware of how far he'd arched his back. Draco pulled out quickly and rolled off of him. They lay next to each other, breathing heavily and staring up at the rafters. Neither of them knew what to say. It had all been pretty quick anyway. And Harry knew the tension was mostly because they weren't sure exactly how they felt about each other anymore.

There was an undeniable intimacy between them no matter how hard they tried to make it seem otherwise. Even while actively trying not to kiss or touch each other, still there was just…. Something.

Or at least, that's how it seemed from Harry's end. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe Draco was just tired. After all he had been doing most of the work…

"So then…" Draco finally whispered, "That was rather brief, yeah?"

Harry groaned as he stretched, "Not my fault you can't hold your load." He teased.

Draco punched his arm half heartedly, "Oh, shut it." He chuckled before he sat up and stretched his shoulders, "Come on then, up you get."

Harry groaned again and turned away, "How the hell are you always so energetic after this?"

"It's a skill. Now seriously get up, I used my robes to make this bed and I'm not just gonna sit here naked."

Harry stood and winced as his feet made contact with the cold stones. He grabbed his wand from where it'd been abandoned on the floor muttering a cleaning charm at the sticky mess on his chest and stomach. He felt the static whisper of magic in the air as what was only moments ago a large bed turned back into a pile of school robes.

Harry watched only half heartedly as Draco cast a few cleaning charms and slowly began to get dressed. His mind wasn't whirling like it usually was, tonight, it was oddly blank. He had the strange sense that everything was in alignment. That he was exactly where he should be. He liked the feeling but he had to admit there was an emptiness that accompanied it. That was something he didn't enjoy at all. As though even though he was in the right place, doing the right things, he was still forgetting something. And he just couldn't remember what it was.

He sighed and turned to see that Draco was now fully dressed and staring at him. There were hardly any words spoken as they left the room together, Harry holding the door for Draco this time. But the feeling that radiated between them was assurance enough. Everything was okay again. Harry could only hope it stayed that way.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

* * *

**September 14th**

"God Harry, you're a horrible liar you know."

"Yeah, yeah. Everyone says that. I don't know what it is but I just can't seem to lie to people. It makes me uncomfortable." Harry said as he reclined on the window seat.

"Lying makes everyone uncomfortable it's all in how you act outwardly, not in how you feel."

Harry rolled his eyes, "Right well, anyway. I'm absolute rubbish at lying and I know it. Not like I can change it though."

"I beg to differ. Come on Potter, I'm going to teach you how to lie."

"What? No way."

"Yes way. Now pay attention. Step one, pick a story and stick to it. Even if it's something completely implausible, it's better to stick with that than to change halfway through. Then whoever you're talking to won't trust you for the rest of the conversation."

"Draco, I really don't think-"

"You should be taking notes on this."

Harry sighed and crossed his arms across his chest, "Alright, continue."

"Step two, create the lie in your head like it actually happened. Almost try to convince yourself you're telling the truth. If you believe yourself, others will too. Step three, answer questions that people ask. You'll be suspicious if you don't answer questions but be sure to answer the ones you want to thoroughly and casually avoid the ones you don't"

"Damn, you've really thought this all figured out haven't you?"

Draco smirked, "I am a Malfoy aren't I? Now stop interrupting. Step four, be aware that there is a limit to how far you can spin your story. Eventually, you'll either have come up with something completely ludicrous or you'll have run out of ideas. Now you have to play off of the people you're dealing with. Take the focus off of yourself."

"And how the hell would I do that?"

Draco shrugged, "There are many ways. But accusing the person, usually works."

"What? I'm the one lying and I accuse them? You're not making sense anymore."

"Come on Potter, you can't be that slow," Draco sighed, "It's simple. Force the person to reevaluate themselves. Once you're sick of their questions say something like, 'Well, why are you asking all this in the first place? Why don't you trust me? I can't go out at night without coming back to this? I thought you loved me' Get it?"

"Umm…"

"Sorry for that example but you get the gist I hope."

"Yeah I think so…"

"If you continue along that line, eventually you can make the person you're talking to actually apologize to you rather than the other way around. Then you can change the subject to your relationship with said person, or your feelings about something rather than your lie. Oh and it sometimes works if you get pissed off. Yell if you need to. Act as though you're the one being persecuted, it doesn't always help, but at least while you're yelling you can be coming up with a better lie. And if all else fails, make a big dramatic show of admitting that you lied and come up with a better more believable lie as the supposed 'truth'. Harry what're you…. Are you seriously taking notes?"

Harry's hand paused above the parchment and he looked up bashfully, "Well it _is_ rather interesting…."

Draco laughed happily, "God you're so silly sometimes. So then, how about an example. Let's just use the one I did earlier since it's so easy. I'm the cheating husband coming home late and you're my cute little wife." Draco said pinching his cheek.

Harry laughed but nodded sitting up again to face Draco fully, "Okay, where the hell were you?"

"What? I already told you I was going out with friends."

"Yes but I called you a thousand times and you never answered."

"That's be because I was _out_. I don't check my phone every five minutes." Draco huffed.

"Wait, you know what a phone is?"

"Of course I know what a phone is. They're ten thousand times more convenient than owls."

"True enough…. Umm…" Harry stumbled around for his words, "Well who did you go out with?"

Draco crossed his arms, "Friends."

"That's really vague. You'd better not be lying."

Draco's eyes widened in anger but Harry couldn't tell if it was real or rehearsed, "_Excuse me_? What so I can't go out anymore without you interrogating me?"

"I never said that, don't put words in my mouth."

"Well then don't leave your mouth open." Draco snapped rudely.

Harry bit his lip, "I just want to know where you were and who you were with, okay? Is that so much to ask?"

"Yes, in fact it is. I wouldn't have had a problem telling you if you hadn't accosted me the moment I walked through the door like I'm some kind of criminal."

"Look I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to- …. Wait a minute. You sneaky little wanker!"

Draco's look of indignant anger melted away and he smiled wide.

"Damn you're good at that. It was just faked and you still got me."

"Just one of my many gifts as Prince of the Slytherins."

"You're not as good as you think though, I just kinda noticed it. When you lie your eyes look different. Like kinda cloudy and… unnatural. It looks more like a forced sort of calm."

Draco looked scandalized, "Are implying I'm not a perfect liar?"

Harry laughed, "I'd be more worried if you were. You are human you know."

Draco smiled silently to himself, "I can only hope so… And now, you look pretty stressed out," Draco said his voice dropping as his hand ran up Harry's thigh, "Care for a handjob? You look like you need it…."

Xx-XxX-xX

**September 21th**

"So then, that was some Quidditch match we had. I almost thought you had me there for a second."

Draco groaned flopping down onto the window seat dramatically, "It's always like that. I always _almost_ have you but I can never fucking beat you."

"Oh come on… don't take it personal. You're not going to be all pissy for the rest of the night are you?"

"If I am it's my own prerogative. I'm sick of losing to you." Draco said in his snippy, rude voice. But Harry wouldn't take it personally; he knew that Draco was just sensitive right now.

"Well… I could try and make it up to you if you want."

Draco scoffed and didn't look at Harry but the hope was obvious in his voice as he said, "….How would you do that?"

Harry bit his lip and moved to kneel between Draco's legs, slowly pushing his legs apart. Harry licked his lips strategically and let his fingers slide slowly up Draco's thighs, "I never did give you a proper blowjob…" he whispered.

Draco smirked and Harry's pride was almost hurt until he heard the way Draco's voice trembled slightly, "And what makes you think you'll be any better at it now, hm? Even if your Quidditch skills are unbeatable your bedroom skills are rather subpar."

Harry bit his tongue to keep from being rude. He knew Draco was in a foul mood and all he had to do was concentrate on being nice. Then there'd be very few snide comments coming from that mouth. Only delicious moans and groans…

Harry leaned down to lightly kiss the inside of Draco's thigh through his trousers, "I was hoping… you might teach me?" He glanced up at him through his long eyelashes and blushing a bit, "I'll do it exactly how you say…."

Harry watched as the amusement on Draco's face melted away and was replaced by raw lust. His eyes darkened, his breath became heavy, his body beginning to quiver. He licked his lips quickly; the soft pink flesh glistening in a way that made Harry lick his lips too. Draco's mouth looked so good…

"You've gotten way too good at this seducing thing….."

Xx-XxX-xX

**September 27th**

"What're those? Chocolates?" Harry asked.

Draco pulled the box away from his reach, "Yes, in fact, they are. And they're _mine_, thank you very much."

"You've really got a sweet tooth." Harry replied with a large grin.

Draco smiled back and bit into one of the palm sized truffles. The kind that melt in your mouth. He closed his eyes and smiled to himself falling into the sweet taste. He rolled the savory, rich flavour over his tongue again and again as he closed his eyes. He let the pleasure of the chocolate flood him before he finally swallowed, taking the sweetness inside himself.

Harry laughed at him, "Geez Draco. It's just chocolate."

"It's a fucking orgasm in a box."

"Now there's an idea I'll have to bring up to Fred and George. It'll be on the shelves of Weasley Wizard Weazes in no time." They both had a good laugh at that but it got quiet again soon after. Quiet except for Draco's nearly silent moans each time he took a bite of chocolate.

"…Can I have some?" Harry whispered.

Draco's eyes widened almost comically and he stared at Harry in disbelief, "You expect me to… _share_?"

Harry ruffled his hair and looked away, "Well I guess you don't have to…"

"Of course I don't fucking have to." Draco responded quickly. But it wasn't about having to any more; it hadn't been for a while. It was about _wanting_ to. And all Draco had to do was take one look in those moonlit emerald eyes and he sighed offering the box.

Harry gave a small smile and tentatively reached in to pull out one of the truffles. Draco's mother had sent them to him. It was a little weird that of all the people in Hogwarts, Harry Potter would be the one and only to taste one of his mother's gifts.

"Thanks," Harry said quietly.

"Yeah well…I'm expecting a rather fantastic Christmas present from you now, just fair warning."

Harry smiled wide before he took a big bite and winced a little.

"Toothache?" Draco guessed.

"Nah, it's just really sweet. I don't even know how you stand it."

"Don't pretend you don't have a sweet tooth of your own Potter. I know you do."

Harry gave him a confused look, "Umm.. Actually I don't. They kinda make me sick."

"There's no way. Then why does…well… never mind." Draco said turning away.

"No, why does what?" Harry prodded scooting closer to him.

Draco sighed, feeling obligated to tell him, "Your mouth tastes like sugar."

Harry stared blankly for a few seconds before he burst out laughing, "No wonder you had so much fun kissing me that first night!"

Draco blushed a little, "There's nothing wrong with having a bit of a sweet tooth."

"No. It's actually really cute."

"Excuse me?" Draco said sitting his chocolate aside, "Did you just refer to me as 'cute'?"

Harry smiled back roguishly, "And if I did?"

"Well I'd just have to hex you into the next century wouldn't I?"

Harry's smile only broadened. And he leaned in closer. Draco felt his heart rate speed up a little. Harry's skin was radiating heat and Draco found himself leaning forward a little too. Harry's eyes were too fucking gorgeous to be real. How had he hid them behind glasses for five years?

"What?" Draco asked sarcastically. "Scared, Potter?"

Harry's face was very close to his. They hadn't kissed since that very first night. Mostly because Draco was a little frightened about what a simple kiss could bring out.

"You wish." Harry replied his breath lightly caressing Draco's skin.

Draco swallowed heavily. In the back of his mind he was constantly plagued by his worries. He knew that getting close to Harry Potter was selfish and impractical. For both of them. It would probably only lead to trouble. But for now, it was just casual sex and friendship. And Draco could live with that.

But at that moment Draco wanted nothing more than to claim those soft lips, and he knew he couldn't. That's all it would take, one kiss, just one kiss to shatter the delicate balance they had set up. One kiss and the line between friendship and something more would be forever blurred.

He couldn't risk it. He just… couldn't…

Instead… it was easier to just distract his body.

"Harry, I think I need you to pull off all your clothes and bend over right now."

Harry's smile widened and even as he stood and began to pull off his tie he asked, "Why?"

Draco rolled his eyes, "I'm going to fuck you, obviously."

Harry smirked, his eyes darkened by lust, "I meant why waste time taking off all my clothes."

Draco smiled up at the Gryffindor, "Good question."


	12. Chapter 12

-Note from Shinosuke-

Oh my gawd. I am so sorry about the wait. I know it took forever to get this chapter up. I got into a bit of… trouble again. But I'm officially back. In fact, I have a laptop now so your chapters should always be on time. Unfortunately, this is the only beta-d chapter I have left and my Beta has up and disappeared. During her absence if there are any of you willing to volunteer to beta a chapter or two I would be extremely grateful. Otherwise, the chaps will just have to go up with a few errors in them.

Once again, sorry for the wait and please enjoy this chapter.

* * *

Chapter 12

* * *

**October 2nd**

Draco took another bite of his chocolate frog, "Tell me something about yourself."

Harry reclined against some of the cushions he finally remembered to bring so that the stone seat was a little more comfortable. He gave Draco a questioning look, "Something about myself?"

Draco sighed, "Yeah. Just something. Something no one else knows."

Harry's brow furrowed in deep thought, "Well… I don't think this counts as something no one else knows but.. I can't dance. At all."

Draco chuckled, "I remember the Yule Ball. But everyone can dance; it just takes a little effort"

"No really, when I try I've been described as 'a retarded wet spaghetti noodle on crack'. If that helps to put anything into perspective."

Draco burst out laughing and Harry threw a pillow at him. But Draco dodged it easily.

"No fair." Harry whined.

Draco laughed harder, "What, should I just stay still while you try to hit me."

In response, Harry stuck his tongue out at Draco and threw another pillow at him.

Draco swatted the pillow away, "Real mature, Potter."

Blushing a little, Harry replied, "Sorry… Well umm… Tell me something about _yourself_, Malfoy. I'm sure you've got something you haven't told anyone."

Draco stroked his chin in thought, "I have… a bit of a weakness for cute things."

"Cute things?"

"Yeah, you know. Bunnies and kittens and everything of the like… why are you smiling like that?"

"…No reason."

Draco shrugged, "Well I actually did have a kitten once. There is a special magic breed you can buy that will always stay kittens and never turn into one of those old annoying cats."

"What'd he look like?"

"_She_ was all gray with blue eyes. Her name was Buttons. …God Potter, stop smiling at me like that."

"I can't help it. That's just about the cutest thing I've ever heard."

"Oh shut it. Let's talk about something else."

"Like what?"

Draco paused to think, "So what're these secret meetings with Dumbledore about?"

Harry paused and looked away, "I… I know I can trust you but. I don't know if that's a good conversation topic."

Draco sat back and waited. Harry hadn't said yes or no, which meant that at the very least, he was considering it. It took a long while, and for a moment Draco thought Harry might not speak again. But he did, albeit reluctantly.

"Well… mostly, he just shows me his memories in the penseive. We're looking at… Voldemort's past and stuff. It's interesting even if it is a little… disturbing."

"…Have you found anything noteworthy?"

Harry paused again and lightly chewed on his thumbnail, "We found out why he thinks he's immortal. And we're trying to find a way to… kill him. But I guess that's obvious."

"And a little vague. So go on, tell me how he's immortal."

"….Horcruxes."

"What?"

"Horcruxes."

"I heard you the first time. What is it?"

"It's like… you have to commit so many evil acts and you can split your soul into pieces and hide the pieces in objects."

Draco paused to think, "….So that means…"

"Even if we kill Voldemort's body, his soul is still hidden in other places and he can be brought back."

"Wow."

"Yeah… there are supposedly six of them. I already destroyed one. Back in second year when-"

"Hold it. What? Where the hell was I during all of this?"

Harry scowled a little, "I suspect you were off flying with your Slytherin pals on your new Nimbus 2001's."

Draco frowned, "Well…so what was the object?"

"Oh, Tom Riddle's diary."

"Who's Tom Riddle?"

Harry stared at him as though waiting for the punch line of the joke before, seeing that Draco was serious, his jaw dropped, "…You're fucking kidding me right?"

"Do I look like I'm kidding?"

"…Well now that I think about it.. I guess it isn't exactly common knowledge. The only reason I know is because he literally spelled it out for me…" Harry replied ruffling his hair.

"So who is he then?" Draco asked getting impatient.

"Tom Riddle is Voldemort's real name."

"No wonder he changed it. Lord Tom isn't very menacing." Draco smirked and Harry had to laugh.

"So then… you won't tell anyone you know what Dumbledore and I are up to?"

"….How can you question my loyalty?"

"I'd be stupid if I didn't."

Draco sighed, "True enough I suppose. I still don't exactly like the way Dumbledore is using you though."

"He's not using me!"

"Maybe not maliciously, no. But the entire wizarding world is using you. As a crutch, as a trump card. I don't know, it just pisses me off. You were kept completely in the dark with a horrible family for 11 god damn years. And as soon as we go to get you, it's just so you can put your life on the line to save a bunch of people who really couldn't care less about you. It's just fundamentally fucked up."

"Most of life is fucked up." Harry shrugged.

"Yeah… You know… if they ever try to send you to that awful muggle home again, you can always come to Malfoy Manor."

It got eerily silent for a moment.

"…I don't think that's such a good idea. I mean your father-"

"Screw my father. There's a spell that grants amnesty to welcome guests. As long as I invite you, no one can harm you while you're there."

"Really?"

Draco nodded slowly, he didn't mention that the spell worked at its best when the welcome came from the head of the household, in this case, Lucius.

"Well then, yeah. I'll consider it. I mean… I wanted to stay with Sirius over the summer but-"

"Sirius? Sirius Black?"

Harry froze, "Crap, I didn't mean to say his real name. I usually call him Snuffles."

Draco stared at Harry with an odd mix of confusion and disbelief on his face, "Why in the hell would you be using cute pet names for the man that killed your parents?"

"He didn't kill my parents. He was framed by Peter Pettigrew." At seeing Draco's confused look Harry corrected himself, "Wormtail, I mean."

Draco's silver eyes flashed in recognition, "_Him_?" He asked incredulously, "Well… that does explain a lot…"

Harry didn't bother with asking Draco how he knew Peter Pettigrew or what that all explained. At the moment he could care less about Wormtail and his deeds.

"Yeah well, Sirius was wrongly accused and sentenced. He was completely innocent. And… he was my godfather."

Draco was silent and Harry wasn't sure he should continue. He hadn't exactly planned to talk about this…

"Well you're not just going to leave it at that are you?"

"You want me to tell you about him?" Harry asked, his voice dark.

Draco paused, obviously reconsidering his curiosity, "Well… I just want to know how he's your godfather. How did you figure it out? When?"

"Third year." Harry replied robotically.

"God I feel like I've been blind for the past five years. Sorry for interrupting. Go ahead."

"Well…" Harry started slowly, "We helped him to escape the dementors and he was on the run for much of the time that I knew him. Most of our communication was through owls and fireplaces. It wasn't till last year that I really even got to see him again."

Harry had to look away from Draco's pensive face. He really was a damn good listener. It felt as though not a single one of Harry's words were wasted on Draco's ears. Even though Harry much preferred this to inattention, it made him a little uncomfortable. Much the same as stage fright. Draco was watching. Draco could see every hint of emotion on his face. He could see everything…

Harry was unable to look into Draco's bright eyes as he muttered his next words, "He's dead."

Thick silence filled the room, so thick that Harry could almost feel it. But Draco said absolutely nothing. No "I'm sorry" or "he would have wanted you to be happy" like the rest of Harry's friends had said when they dared to talk about it at all. Only pure silence.

Harry didn't know what else to say; didn't know how to form his jumbled thoughts into words. He felt Draco scoot closer to him along the stones. He could feel the warmth radiating off of his body. And it was comforting if not a little creepy.

He wasn't a girl, he didn't need to cry. He was strong. He tried to remind himself over and over that he was. So that he'd never forget. So that he'd never have to turn and face his demons.

Draco never said a word and Harry was amazingly grateful. Pitying words at a time like this would only serve to embarrass him. But Harry couldn't think of anything to say; couldn't force his lips to move. So the silence continued as Harry studied the stone floor and Draco studied Harry.

Draco muttered only two words but that was all that was needed, "Go on." He prompted.

And somehow that seemed to open up the floodgates.

Harry felt tears start to burn behind his eyes but he stubbornly refused to let them fall. He settled for talking, spewing everything that he could. Because he apparently couldn't hold it in any longer and he didn't want to try.

"I was so stupid. I thought that I wanted to fight. I thought that was the obvious way to do it. But every time I try. Someone dies. Fourth year it was Cedric and last year…I didn't even stop to think that it was a possibility. That Sirius could ever…"

Harry choked a little on his breath. He felt a horrible sense of shame that he was being so entirely vulnerable, in front of Malfoy of all people. He could only imagine the horrible things Draco could come up with to make fun of him. But that shame was only a reflex and completely unnecessary.

Harry's mouth trembled a bit and his face turned red with embarrassment. But Draco stayed silent. He didn't move, didn't even seem to be breathing. He was just there at Harry's side. And it was very… comforting. Draco wasn't running away.

"I was there. I saw it…" Harry choked.

_Weak_, Harry's mind told him. Just like Uncle Vernon would tell him, _You're a fool. Crying over things that can't be changed. And you're so weak_.

But Harry tried his best to shove that away. Being "strong" and holding it in had only led to this, so where was the sense in that? He just had to get it out. Had to finish it. That way it'd be done and gone and he wouldn't have to look at it again.

"We were fighting. And I had thought it was only a game. Thought it was just like the DA. But in the DA the enemies didn't really fight back. And when he was gone… we had to keep going. We couldn't even stop to mourn him. Because the Death Eaters weren't going to stop. That's when I realized exactly what this war meant."

He couldn't seem to stop the words that came from his mouth now, not even for a moment. It was as though the words were alive; they rushed forward from his lips in an uncontrollable flow.

"He was everything. The only family I ever had. Friends are nice but without family… For people like me, family is everything. Because I've never had it. And then I did. And… I regret every time I put off owling him for something stupid. Like homework or laziness. I regret all the time I didn't spend with him. It's not fair…"

Suddenly, Harry felt that he needed to be a different kind of strong. That he needed to face this kind of grief head on. And that maybe it was okay to cry… just a little…

Xx-xX

Draco P.O.V

Xx-xX

Draco watched Harry with concerned eyes.

Mostly he was surprised that Harry had willingly talked about something that was obviously a delicate subject. It was the equivalent of Draco deciding to share his troubles with his first assignment. And Draco wasn't sure he could ever talk about that. Not even silently to himself.

Draco was biting his bottom lip the entire time. Facing this sort of thing was not exactly his forte. In fact he'd never done anything like this before. Sure he'd comforted Blaise over a lost girlfriend once or twice. But the extent of that was a pat on the back and a "there are plenty of fish in the sea" reference. Nothing like this.

Draco wasn't sure how to comfort Harry but he knew he needed to. Harry's words escalated in pain with every syllable.

If only he knew more about how to do this. Maybe it would be easier. Ugh, this was such a bad idea. How the hell had Draco expected to be able to handle it?

Draco watched as a solitary tear ran down one of Harry's cheeks. It shimmered in the moonlight before slowly dropping off and disappearing.

"I miss him.." Harry whispered and Draco felt his heart clench a little.

There was no lie, no cry for attention in Harry's voice. It was only loss and hurt. And Draco could hardly even empathize. He severely doubted he'd ever felt anything equivalent to what Harry was feeling now. Draco had certainly had his share of problems. But this…

"It's not fair that he's gone. I hardly e-even…."

Draco was a little shocked at the raw emotion that could be held in one sentence. And Harry's strength to have shouldered this for who knows how long. He looked a little embarrassed as he stuttered and so he let his words cease and just tried to catch his breath.

Harry lost the plot only a few seconds later, finally just putting his face in his hands. Draco at first thought he was just trying to calm himself, or cover his blush. But the hitch in Harry's breathing could be heard and his shoulders twitched almost imperceptibly.

…_he's crying… in front of me._

Draco was by now absolutely positive this comforting thing wasn't for him. He'd sat still as a statue next to Harry the entire time. That could hardly have been considered helpful. But he'd made a promise to listen. And even though Draco wasn't the most trustworthy person in the world, when he sincerely made a promise, he meant it.

Draco kept up the silence he'd established as he waited for Harry to regain his composure. It didn't take him long.

Harry sighed wiping his face as he moved his hands before speaking in a voice that was at least twenty times calmer, "But he's gone now. And he died in a way that he wouldn't regret."

Draco summoned his courage feeling that Harry was finally calmed enough, "How did he die?" Draco near whispered.

"You don't know?" Harry asked turning to Draco with a surprised look.

Draco couldn't help but notice his eyes were red rimmed with the effort of holding back tears that were screaming to be shed.

"Why? Should I?" Draco replied finding his voice again now that Harry was obviously done with the worst of his mourning.

"Well it was your aunt that killed him."

Draco at first felt a little shocked but then… he did remember someone saying something about it. But it had been offhandedly. Unimportant. And he was overtaken by so much guilt he could hardly look in Harry's eyes.

It had been his family, his flesh and blood who'd done this. And he was soon to join them. Undoubtedly Draco would end up killing others if he continued the way his family wanted. And though he wouldn't know the people he killed and they would mean nothing to him… to think that the death of someone so seemingly unimportant could cause the agony that Harry had experienced… Draco wouldn't be able to live with himself.

Harry obviously seemed to notice which line Draco's thoughts had taken because he quickly spoke again, "Not that it's your fault. You are _not _your Aunt. Being related to someone doesn't mean you're responsible for their actions."

Draco only shook his head, "I know saying I'm sorry won't help you. But I am sorry."

Harry gave Draco a weak smile, "It does help."

On an impulse, Draco reached over and grabbed Harry's hand. He hoped the squeeze was reassuring and it did seem to help a bit. Harry smiled wider before letting out a shaky sigh.

"Thanks for listening to all that…"

"I'm good for more than sex you know."

Harry turned to look at him as though he'd just said something very interesting. His eyes examined Draco carefully before he finally turned away again, smiling to himself.

"…I know."

Xx-XxX-xX

**October 6th**

They were getting closer and closer. They met nearly every night now. And Harry couldn't help but be drawn in by Draco's undeniable charm. Even when he was being rude and sarcastic, all he had to do was flash that cheeky little smile of his and Harry would almost instantly forgive him.

They talked about everything. And true to his word, Draco didn't let a single word of it venture outside of this room. Or at least, Harry hadn't seen him say anything. And Harry was beginning to see that when Draco made a promise he kept it. If he intended to do something else, he simply wouldn't promise it.

Harry knew he was being stupid. In the middle of a war there wasn't anything more stupid you could do than to befriend your enemy and tell him all your secrets. But Harry was having a hard time seeing the words Enemy and Malfoy as synonymous these days.

And the sex…

God it blew his mind.

He now knew that he was probably gay. It explained so much. Why he didn't like having sex with Cho for one. Why he was rather bored and sometimes even slightly disgusted looking at the PlayWizard magazines Ron kept under his mattress. And most of all, why his eyes had always wandered in the locker room. Why his dreams more often featured male sex partners.

And more often than anything else, his dreams featured Draco.

Even now, he was eyeing Draco's crotch hungrily. Of course those silvery blue eyes didn't fail to notice this. He shifted a little and Harry could see the half bulge through the thin material. He groaned lowly to himself. There was nothing he'd like more than to give Draco a blowjob. After he'd gotten over his initial reluctance he'd found that he rather liked giving head. He liked the taste; he liked the sounds Draco made. He liked being able to _make_ Draco make those sounds.

Harry leaned down between Draco's thighs; he didn't even need to announce his intentions anymore. It was clear to both of them. Draco smiled and simply relaxed knowing exactly what Harry wanted to do.

Reason was still shouting at him that he still didn't know for sure if he was gay or not, that he didn't have time for these kinds of things in the middle of the war, that this was Draco Malfoy, a Slytherin and an enemy. And reason was quite loud and made quite a lot of sense sometimes.

But Harry's libido gave his reason the bird and he unzipped Draco's pants.


	13. Chapter 13

-Note from Shinosuke-

Sorry guys, no beta still and I'd like to get back on schedule with posting so this chap is going up UNEDITED. No one like me! T.T no one wants to be my beta… *cries* Oh well. On with the story. Feel free to leave a review for any mistakes you see.

Disclaimer: Hell yeah I stole a line from Persona 3. It's called fanfiction for a reason! I can do what I want! xP

* * *

Chapter 13

* * *

Draco tossed and turned restlessly. Tonight had been one of the rare nights he and Harry hadn't met in the tower room. On nights like these, he squirmed endlessly under his duvet, unable to find any respite. It was only on the nights that he met Harry that as Draco shuffled back to his dorm in the wee hours of the morning, he could fall asleep easily. Most likely because he participated in plenty of… tiring activities…

_Nope, stop right there. You won't trick me into that thought spiral again. I won't think about it at all. I'll think about… umm… something else. Anything else…_

But it was hopeless and he knew it before he even tried to fight. Somehow, that sneaky little Gryffindor had weaseled his way into Draco's mind. It must be some sort of spell. It had to be. Otherwise Draco wouldn't think about it all the time. He had more control over himself than that.

Draco groaned and turned over again, fluffing his pillow angrily. This was like puberty all over again! Back then, he had suffered through months of sexual frustration. But he was out of that stage. He shouldn't have to go through it again.

He shouldn't have to waste his every waking moment thinking about the way Harry touched him, which was absolutely amazing by the way. At first, Draco was content in thinking he was dominant over a shy and inexperienced Harry. But it had changed so quickly Draco wasn't sure which one was the fake.

Suddenly Harry's jade eyes would narrow in predatory lust. And Draco knew that he wasn't going to be able to refuse anything Harry suggested. He tried to keep the air of dominance around him, but it was faked and he suspected they both knew it. It was more for Draco's ego than anything else. But Draco was becoming more and more unsure about what he wanted.

He liked it most when Harry simply demanded something. When he pulled Draco to him and refused to let him go. For what reason, Draco still didn't know. He had always been the one in control in every relationship he ever had. Having it be the opposite was strange. But he liked it, more than he'd ever admit.

Harry had kissed his neck softly at first and that was nice. But then he'd started biting and that was better. So much better…

Draco flipped onto his back with a heavy sigh. He wasn't going to get to sleep tonight. Not without wanking first. And he was sick of that because it was hardly enough. It was nothing like what Harry could do for him. His intentions with Harry had not started this way. And he was ashamed that he couldn't keep just a normal friendship.

Of course he had to taint it with something. All Malfoy's do. Friendships are only for gain: power, money, sex. His father had taught him that. And Draco was having a hard time proving him wrong.

And God was Harry sexy without his glasses. To think that messy haired, speccy geek turned out to be so hot. Draco could see the shining emerald color of his eyes so much more clearly when Harry wasn't wearing his glasses. And his hair was nowhere near the bird's nest it had been previously. It was still messy, but it suited him.

But none of that mattered anyway because in the end… he had a mission. Harry was just a passing fantasy. It would never be anything more than that. And that was the thing that kept Draco up more than anything.

Before, just the fact that he'd had the assignment was bad enough. But now… he wanted things he'd never wanted before. Now he wasn't sure he was okay with just giving his entire life to his family and to Voldemort. And that was the root of his sleepless nights.

His eyes flickered over to his bed side table before he looked around the dorm. Everyone was asleep. He whispered the unlocking charm at the top drawer and reached in to pull out the letter.

He'd been reading it the night Harry first found him in the tower room, he usually read it every night. But he occasionally forgot now that he had other things to focus his mind on at night.

The parchment was a little worn now and easily flipped open. Draco let his eyes scan over the words quickly before he started at the top and read all the way to the bottom. By the end he was frowning so hard his forehead hurt. He hated this damned letter. Hated his father, hated Voldemort and all of his followers. He sighed before stashing the letter back in its hiding place and sitting up.

He shook out his hair a little before he crawled out of bed. There was no use laying there in denial. Every time he slept he had bad dreams anyway. But there was one way to cure this. He pulled on his robes over his pajamas and slid his bare feet into his shoes.

He crept out of the Slytherin common room and down a few long tunnels till he was at the correct door. He took a deep breath and knocked harshly. There was no answer. Draco sighed and knocked again whispering through the thick wood.

"Sev? Sev, it's me. Open up."

The door opened hastily and there stood the most frightening professor at Hogwarts… in bunny slippers. Draco smiled at his god father's choice of foot wear.

"Cute, Sev. Really cute."

Snape's lips tightened into a frown and he moved aside so Draco could walk in.

"They were a gift. Why are you here Draco?" Snape said harshly as he closed the door and tried to kick his slippers inconspicuously off in another direction.

Draco went to sit on one of the chairs that were around the small table. Snape's living quarters weren't exactly amazingly furnished. But Draco had always liked it here. Even though it was a cold dungeon, Snape somehow gave it a home-y feel. Not the same as like a warm loving home or anything. Just a place that was familiar and comforting. It was nice to see that, despite the war, some things were always the same.

Snape flicked his wand and the fireplace sprang to life, "Well?" he asked impatiently.

"I need more dreamless sleep." Draco sighed.

"More?" Snape asked sitting opposite Draco, "I've given you two vials already. You're not supposed to use it every night. There's the risk of dependency and-"

"Save it. I already know all that. But I still can't sleep."

Snape's black eyes had a hint of pity in them, "Is it… the Dark Lord." He muttered.

That dropped a cold hard stone into Draco's stomach. He hadn't forgotten. Not exactly, it was always there in the back of his mind. But when he was with Harry, or thinking about Harry he was able to pretend it wasn't there. But this was real life, there was no time for silly things like friendship. In reality, at the end of the school year, Harry would go one way and Draco would go the other. And that would be the end. Even if he fought against it, the outcome would be the same.

So why was he stressing over it so much?

Draco bit his lip and stared down at the table, examining the polished wood in the firelight.

"It's a mix of things. I'm just… thinking too much."

Snape nodded, "Understandable in your situation. But don't falter. You know your mission and you must complete it."

Draco's frown deepened, "...I know."

Snape's coal colored eyes examined him for another moment before he stood and shuffled around in a cabinet. When he came back he offered Draco a flask. As Draco reached for it he pulled it away.

"I'll give this to you, but this the very last. I won't give you even a drop more after this, understand."

Draco nodded and slowly took the flask from his hand. The metal was cold and Draco knew he was tempting fate. Too much of this stuff over any amount of time and you can go into a coma. Sometimes, you never wake up. As he stared at the flask in his hand he mentally decided it could wait. He'd save this for when he really needed it and not just use it whenever.

Draco sighed and stood, "Thanks Sev. Really."

Snape nodded, "Now go back to bed Draco, you still have classes tomorrow. And I won't allow you to skip any."

Draco smiled, "Ever the responsible God Parent, hm?"

"Of course."

Xx-XxX-xX

"Harry?" Ron prodded.

Harry woke up from his wonderings in the Great Hall, "Hm? What is it?"

"You haven't written anything in a while. Lost in thought or something?"

Harry stared down at his unfinished Charms essay. He cursed under his breath and got back to work. It was due in thirty minutes and he wasn't even halfway done.

"I told you both to get those essays done days ago." Hermione scolded as she reached for a piece of toast.

"Yeah, yeah." Ron said, "But we've got lots of stuff going on 'Mione."

"I got mine done." She said huffily.

"You're a super hero, Hermione. You know that." Harry smiled.

Hermione smiled at the compliment and went back to her toast.

The by now familiar blue eyed owl flew down, leading the flock of owls that came for mail time. Harry's face lit up. There was only one person who sent him mail.

The owl, which he and Draco had named Shadow, landed on his essay and fluttered his feathers. Harry was glad that Draco was clever enough to use a school owl. As far as anyone at a distance could tell, Harry was just getting more fan mail.

He took the small letter from Shadow's leg but before he could open it Ginny came up behind him and snatched it.

Harry turned to see Ginny with a wide grin on her face, "Letters from fans again, Harry? Honestly those silly girls."

"Give it back Ginny." Harry said seriously.

But she didn't even have time to. She yelped and dropped the parchment that now looked scorched around the corners. It read in dark black letters: For Harry Potter ONLY!

They stared at each other for a moment before Harry leaned and picked it up. The words disappeared and the true message revealed itself:

.

**Harry**

** Tonight, 12:30. **

** M**

_._

Simple, but it got the message across without any clues as to who may have sent it. Harry shoved it in his pocket and looked back up at the still startled Ginny.

"What was that?" She asked.

"I'm not sure, some sort of protection I guess." Harry muttered, "But I'd prefer you didn't try to steal my mail."

"I wasn't stealing it, I was only picking on you. It probably doesn't say anything interesting anyway….right?"

"'Course not." Harry lied with an easy smile. Being around Draco had taught him that much.

Harry was really quite thankful for those lying lessons Draco had given him. He had to say, his deceptive skills had improved a lot.

Ginny smiled and leaned over Harry to grab an apple, "Well, I'm heading off. See you all later?" she said though she was pointedly only looking at Harry.

Harry smiled and nodded before turning back to his essay. He groaned at how much more was still left to do and quickly picked up his quill to finish as much of it as he could.

Xx-XxX-xX

"Umm… Professor Dumbledore sir, do you mind if we cut this off a little early?" Harry asked looking away and scratching the back of his head.

"Do you have plans?" Dumbledore asked with that knowing look in his twinkling blue eyes.

"Actually…yeah, kind of."

"I won't pry." Dumbledore smiled, "I know you are a busy young man Harry. Many things are piling up on you. You have a lot of responsibility."

"Yeah, that's why… well that's why my evenings are important to me. They're the times I don't have to worry so much."

Dumbledore's smile broadened, "I'm sure. Well I don't mind if we cut tonight a little short. There are plenty of nights ahead for responsibility, and not so many for frivolity. Enjoy it while you can."

Harry smiled, "Thank you Professor."

"Just try not to become too distracted, Harry. October is nearly gone leaving only seven more months. That may seem like a lot of time. But the end of the year will be here sooner than you think."

Harry sighed at that. Dumbledore was right, as usual. And he was dreading the end of the year. He would have to leave his home. His life. His friends. And Draco. The end of the year was an ominous black cloud that hovered in Harry's future. Completely awful yet completely unavoidable.

"Time, is a terribly cruel thing, Harry. It doesn't stop, not for anyone. And yet the constraints time puts on us are usually made only by ourselves. I want you to be particularly careful of seeing through that. And of course, try never to fall _too_ hard into anything you can't get back out of."

Harry's brow furrowed, "I'm not sure I understand what that has to do with anything, Professor."

Dumbledore smiled again his eyes twinkling even more, "It's nothing Harry, just the ramblings of an old wizard."


	14. Chapter 14

-Note from Shinosuke-

Sorry guys, no beta still and I'd like to get back on schedule with posting so this chap is going up UNEDITED. No one likes me! T.T no one wants to be my beta… *cries* Oh well. On with the story. Feel free to leave a review for any mistakes you see. ALSO. I'm changing my update day from Friday to Saturday. It's just easier for me. xD

* * *

Chapter 14

* * *

Draco sighed and sat back against the window. This room was really quite curious. It didn't fit in with the floor plan at all. And it wasn't visible from the outside. In fact, from the way everything was set up, the door to enter this room… shouldn't lead anywhere. It should just be a straight drop to outside. But it wasn't. Sure magical phenomenon like that doesn't happen every day, but it does happen. Nothing really to worry about.

The door opened and Draco straightened up a little, "You're late." He commented but he really wasn't angry.

"Yeah I know, sorry. I had to pretend to sleep a little longer. But I brought you something."

Draco straightened even further to see the label on the box Harry was carrying, "Well, what is it then?"

Harry smiled and gave him the long, thin white box. Draco recognized the emblem on it instantly. Chocolate. He felt the grin grow on his face and he couldn't stop it. He wouldn't have even if he could.

He near ripped the lid off and stopped in awe, "These are…"

"Your favorite right? You mentioned it once and I looked it up. Oh and sorry about the empty space, I had to try one. They're really… sweet."

"I'm not trying to sound all sentimental or anything, but this is seriously one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me."

Harry smiled and Draco watched. Harry's smile was really a sight to behold. When Draco had first met him, Harry's real smiles had been a rare and special thing. But now he seemed to smile all the time. Draco liked to think he was part of that…

"So," Draco continued as he bit into one of his chocolates, "You met with Dumbledore earlier right? Learn anything new?"

"Not really. I mean… Voldemort and I have a lot of similarities. It's creepy. And I really don't like it."

"I still can't believe all that shit about the prophecy. To think that if he hadn't attacked your family none of this would have happened."

Harry shrugged, "He's a power hungry idiot."

"Damn straight…" Draco muttered.

It was nice to voice his true thoughts about Voldemort here but sometimes he still felt the small twinge of fear that someone would hear him. If his father ever heard him saying such things… he shivered not even allowing himself to finish that thought.

"Yeah so… what kind of similarities do you have?"

"Just that he was an orphan and stuff. And then there's the parseltongue thing."

Draco perked up a little, "That's right, you're a parselmouth. …Can you teach me?"

Harry laughed, "I don't even really know how I do it. To me it sounds like I'm still speaking normally."

"Oh…right." Draco said sitting back.

"Oh come on Draco. If I could teach, you I would."

Draco rolled his eyes and smiled, "Thanks. It is the thought that counts after all."

"Yeah…" Harry trailed.

"Anyway…" Draco said desperate to end the strained silence, "How does the parseltongue thing work. I'm curious."

Harry seemed relieved to have something to talk about as well, "Well for a long time I had to be in the presence of a snake to do it. But I've learned how to use it any time now. Took a lot of work."

"Well let's hear it then."

"What?"

"Say something."

"In parseltongue?"

"No, in French you twit. What else would I be referring to?"

"Watch it, Malfoy." Harry smiled.

"Granger will fail a test before I watch my mouth, _Potter_." Draco replied, but the words were said with his perfect cheeky grin and Harry couldn't have gotten angry if he tried.

"….Well what do you want me to say?"

"Anything, I don't care."

Harry sighed and closed his eyes. He seemed to be concentrating very hard and Draco waited not wanting to distract him. It took a few minutes before Harry finally looked up again.

Draco could immediately see the difference. His pupils were much bigger. Shiny blackness surrounded by only a fraction of the normal amount of green. His eyes looked… wild.

Harry parted his pink lips and a deep hissing sound came out. Draco's body seemed to freeze up. He felt the tingling magic washing over his skin and he stared in awe at the man before him, unable to understand why he suddenly felt this strange emotion welling up in his chest.

Somewhere deep inside of him, an instinct was stirred. A primal sort of feeling. Something that must have been bred into him from his Malfoy ancestors. They had always wanted only the best as mates. The strongest, the purest, whoever or whatever would make their family line the best. And here before him was a man speaking a language exclusive only to the most powerful.

Draco bit his lip. This is definitely not what he had expected. Maybe Harry was reciting a spell. That had to be it. It was the only explanation for this inexplicable feeling. Draco had never felt so much desire before.

Harry stopped speaking for a moment and he looked at Draco more closely.

"You okay?" he asked in his normal voice.

"Fine." Draco breathed though it was an obvious lie.

He was unable to look away from Harry's face. The magic was simply pouring from him. And Draco's own innate lust for power was bubbling over the top, threatening to flood him. Screaming at him that this was the one. That this person would help him to make his family line as strong as possible.

Worst of all, or best considering the context … he was hard. Really, really hard. He wasn't even sure when it happened. One minute nothing and the next there's an iron bar in his pants.

And even worse than that, was how quickly Harry noticed. He smiled, "Parseltongue did that to you?" He asked.

Draco didn't say anything he just watched as Harry's smile grew wider and more predatory.

How had they made this jump? It seemed like no matter what topic they chose they always ended up here.

Harry moved closer along the window seat to Draco and leaned in. Harry began to speak again and this time the words sent shocks straight to his groin. Now it was different. Draco could feel Harry's warm breath gently caress his skin with each word. And before, Harry was simply speaking. He could have been naming off his booklist. But now the look in his eyes told Draco the conversation was no longer so clean.

Harry's tongue flicked out against his lips as he hissed. The sound seemed to echo before it even left his mouth. A deep and magical sort of sound that Draco couldn't resist. He was being pulled in by some unstoppable force. Some power greater than either of them could fathom.

As though it were unavoidable. This was simply the way it was going to be. Even if he fought against it. And that fact alone was always stimulating to Draco.

Draco groaned a little as Harry leaned in closer. Their eye contact never broke, and the unnaturally bright moonlight washed over the scene. And Draco was having trouble containing his lust. When had his hand decided to rub him through his pants? He certainly hadn't told it to do so.

Draco couldn't tell what Harry was saying but he could make an educated guess. And from the look on Harry's face… he thought for sure he was describing all the ways he could pleasure him. He couldn't hear the words but he could see it in his smile. In the way his teeth clacked and his tongue moved. He was telling Draco exactly how he'd touch him.

He was whispering how he knew exactly the way Draco liked to be touched. How he would leave bite marks down his pale neck and roughly pinch and twist his nipples. How his hand would work so slowly over his cock. How he'd gently pull on his foreskin and fondle his balls. He was telling him he knew exactly how Draco liked to be sucked. How he would press his tongue into the swollen little slit and use his hand to stoke the base in perfect time to his measured sucking. And he was whispering how he knew Draco's deepest darkest secret. He knew beyond a doubt that Draco would like nothing more than to bend over for him. Than to surrender control just once and let Harry take him. Claim him. How he'd touch and kiss every inch of his body until Draco begged him for sweet release, until there was no way for Draco to deny that he was completely and totally owned by Harry. That his body would surrender to no one else. That-

"Damn it Harry, if you say one more word I'm gonna fucking cream my pants."

Harry stopped for a moment and he laughed. Draco could hear Harry's familiar chuckle underlying the hissing laugh but it was overall a new sound; deeper, darker, _hotter_. Harry hissed something else. It sounded like it might be a question but Draco couldn't answer anyway.

He groaned and then he couldn't stand it a moment longer. He didn't really take the time to think about his actions and that in itself was a rarity. He simply lunged at Harry and kissed him.

There was absolutely no hesitation from either party. Draco had both of his hands in Harry's dark hair, fisting it almost painfully hard. And Harry's hands were on his waist, pulling him closer until Draco was straddling him.

The kiss was the most passionate Draco had ever experienced. He felt as though he was both conquering and being devoured at the same time. Their tongues fought valiantly for dominance and Harry was winning. And Draco didn't mind at all.

Harry's mouth was the sweetest thing Draco had ever tasted. But nothing like food at all. He didn't understand how anyone could equate a kiss to a food. Harry's mouth was definitely sugary sweet but it was distinctly different from anything else Draco had ever tasted. It was something that could be defined as only, _Harry_.

They were pulling each other closer until it was physically impossible for them to be any closer than they were. And still they never stopped trying to get just a tiny bit more.

Draco's brain was melting from the heat. And Harry's mouth was so perfect. All he wanted was more. He almost wanted to get inside of Harry's mouth, because this wasn't close enough. Not when there was so much more to explore and so very little time to do it in. Even if Draco had the rest of all eternity it wouldn't be enough. And he'd want to spend it all just like he was now, in Harry Potter's arms.

Their hips were slowly grinding together and that was an added pleasure Draco simply couldn't handle. He was going to go insane before the night was through. He still wasn't even sure how they'd ended up like this and he really didn't care anymore.

Finally Harry pulled away gasping for breath. And Draco took that time to get a few full breaths of his own.

"What're we doing?" Harry breathed.

"Shut up." Draco said going back into the kiss. And Harry didn't refuse him.

Tonight would be one of those nights. Draco was sure of it. They'd only ever had sex five times. Other than that, hands and mouths were sufficient. But tonight, Draco wouldn't be satisfied until he'd bent Harry over and taken him as forcefully as possible.

Or maybe… maybe for once in his life. Draco would let it be the other way around…

Their hot kiss eventually slowed but didn't stop. The fire was no longer so hungry, desperately trying to devour everything it could. But instead, it became a deep smolder that was hotter than before. So hot Draco felt like he might just burn up.

It took Draco a little while to realize what was going on. To see what had happened.

Through the nips and groans and grinding…

He could feel Harry's erection against his. Yet both of them were still fully clothed. Obviously the only way to cure this would be sex. And yet they had only been kissing for a very long while.

Draco could almost hear his own voice in his head.

_There's a difference between sex and love._

But if this wasn't just for the sex… that meant…

Draco pulled away. Harry tried to kiss him again but he backed away even further just staring at him. Examining him. All sorts of thoughts were running through his head.

But…. That was impossible. It couldn't be… it just couldn't.

"Harry…" Draco said embarrassed by how rough his voice sounded, "We need to stop."

Harry stared at him for a moment. And maybe he saw the fear in Draco's eyes, or maybe he's a mind reader. But a look of realization crossed his face and he nodded reluctantly, slowly pushing Draco off of his lap.

Draco swallowed and brushed his hair out of his face. He was wringing his hands. He couldn't help it. He always did whenever he was nervous or indecisive.

He watched Harry watching him and they sat in silence for a long while.

"I think… maybe we should… take a break from meeting here." Draco said silently.

* * *

That's all for now, Please leave me a review so I know what you're thinking. It's important!


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

* * *

"A break?" Harry asked his voice sounding much too upset and weak for his liking.

"Yeah…" Draco muttered.

And somehow Harry knew it was true. They'd gone too far. Much too far. And now they had to backtrack before they got stuck.

Harry licked his wet lips on which he could still taste Draco. He winced a little before he nodded slowly, "Yeah, you're right."

Draco swallowed audibly and nodded back before he stood grabbing everything he needed.

"I'm sorry. I-I gotta go." He mumbled as he near ran for the door.

"Good night." Harry whispered.

Draco paused and turned to look at him. He said nothing but his eyes held some sort of emotion Harry couldn't decipher. Before finally, Draco turned away and left, closing the door softly behind him.

Harry sighed and hit the back of his head against the stones a few times. What was he thinking? Saying all those things in parseltongue to Draco. Had Draco been able to tell what they were? He wasn't sure but from the looks of his hard on he'd obviously gotten the gist.

And then that kiss…. Hadn't Draco himself said they shouldn't kiss? Right, they weren't lovers. Only friends. There was no need to kiss.

And yet that had completely blown his mind. How in the hell could one kiss be so… so… Earth shattering. He wasn't sure how he'd lost control like that but he'd been nearly trying to devour Draco whole. And the best part was Draco seemed to want exactly that. _Seemed_ being the main word there. In all actuality Harry had no idea how Draco really felt. And he'd seen firsthand how good of an actor he was. Maybe it was all faked. Or maybe it was sincere. Harry just couldn't tell. And not knowing was definitely the worst.

Harry sighed and stood.

_Don't dwell on it. That's the last thing you need. What you need is to go back to your bed and wank until you can't even think about sex anymore. That way you and Draco can eventually talk without fucking each other senseless._

He crept back to his room much earlier than usual and slipped under the covers. He sighed and lay back staring up at the ceiling. Had he somehow…accidentally… fallen for Draco?

_No, no. Of course not. Don't even suggest things like that. There's no way in hell that's happened. We're just friends. Tonight was just… an accident. Yeah. That's it._

Harry was still painfully hard and using his hand felt strange and unfamiliar. He hadn't realized it, but recently, he hadn't jerked off at all; not even once. He hadn't needed to. Since Draco was there to give him more than his left hand ever could.

After a few awkward wanking sessions Harry finally settled down to go to bed. It took a little while but eventually he fell into a fitful sleep. And that was the first night he had the dream.

He was falling. Falling from a great height. He hated the feeling. It wasn't like flying. It was like careening out of control. But he was looking downwards, at the place where he would land. The ground… looked very hard. Concrete. Harry was sure he wouldn't survive if he hit it. But there was something else there too. Was that… Draco? Well it was definitely a blonde boy. But Harry wasn't close enough to see if it was him or not.

He wondered if that person would catch him. He'd be really thankful. He didn't want to die just yet. He had more things to do. He couldn't remember what those things were, but he knew they were important.

He was getting closer and closer to the ground. And now the fear set in. Because Draco didn't look very happy. And Harry was scared he would smack the ground and be gone. But that couldn't be it. It couldn't be over like that.

His stomach dropped out as he neared the dark concrete. He closed his eyes and-

Harry jolted up in bed breathing heavily. The sweat clung to his brow and he sighed as he realized it was just a dream. Why hadn't he realized he was dreaming?

"You alright over there Harry?" Ron asked stretching out his shoulders and yawning.

Harry looked up at him as though he were from another world and time entirely. Before he quickly nodded.

"Yeah, fine."

Ron raised his eyebrows in obvious doubt, "Whatever you say." He muttered.

Harry couldn't suppress a groan when he realized what day it was. Monday. Time for school already. He flopped back down onto his bed petulantly and refused to move.

"Come on Harry, it's not so bad." Ron assured him, "You've still got Friday to look forward to."

"Friday? What's Friday?"

Ron stared at him incredulously, "The next Quidditch match. Against Slytherin. We've been talking about it for weeks, Harry. You sure you're alright?"

Harry groaned and fell back into his bed. He'd completely forgotten about that. Just an added pressure on him. Having to play Quidditch with Draco when he could hardly even think about him without a strange feeling in his stomach.

It wasn't a good feeling. It felt almost like guilt. But it was different. It was like that sick feeling you get when you know you should study for your test tomorrow but instead you go to a party. The feeling that you know you're making the wrong choice.

Harry went through the motions of his daily life. But it felt strangely empty. Even his friends couldn't get him to smile. On top of that, he had potions today. He was worse than usual. Nothing blew up. But it most certainly wasn't the potion he'd been shooting for.

And what was worse was that Draco didn't even glance at him once. Like he had already completely forgotten last night and every night before that. Like they'd never been friends at all…

Harry bit his lip. If Draco could forget, Harry should be able to as well. But he couldn't. It was part of his every waking thought. It didn't matter what he was thinking about, it all led to Draco.

And that kiss. He could almost feel it on his lips again. Feel how much Draco had craved him. Draco had been dying for that kiss. Begging silently for more. And Harry had loved it more than anything he'd ever experienced. Including the few times he and Draco had had sex. That one kiss was better than all of that.

The rest of the day seemed to pass so slowly, but when he finally looked around after being lost in his thoughts all day, it was evening. He hadn't even called a practice for Quidditch like he should have.

But he could hardly care right now. He was exhausted. Even though he hadn't exactly done much, he felt mentally exhausted. All he wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep for 15 hours.

But as soon as his he slipped off slowly into sleep, he had the dream again.

Xx-XxX-xX

The day of the Quidditch game was overcast and foggy. Not exactly the best conditions, but no one was willing to cancel the game. The weather fit Harry's mood perfectly. Gray and swirling, still unsure whether it would rain or not. And that's exactly how Harry felt, _unsure._

Harry hadn't said anything since he'd last spoken to Draco. Mostly because he couldn't think of anything to say. He was still in a state of shock. And so he'd been unnaturally quiet for nearly five days.

He simply didn't know what to think. Was the Draco he'd been meeting in the tower room at night the real him, or was it the Draco who was cold and distant? He had a guess, but he wasn't willing to risk everything on that.

Madame Hooch made them shake hands before the game, like always. But none before this had ever been as awkward. The feeling of Draco's smooth warm skin against his was almost painfully familiar. He glanced into Draco's eyes. They were a foggy sort of gray today, clouded over, just like the sky. Harry stared hoping that his thoughts, his feelings, his intentions could be read in his face. Hoping with all he had that Draco would see it.

Draco looked away.

They took off into the air and the game commenced. Almost immediately, Gryffindor was in the lead.

Harry tried to concentrate on the game… he really did. But it was difficult with Draco less than twenty feet away most of the time. He couldn't concentrate on finding the snitch as well as he usually could. Draco eventually took to making lazy slow circles around the pitch while Harry only watched.

Draco really had always been a graceful flyer. Even back in first year. Harry was a little faster, but Draco looked more skilled on a broom than Harry did. It was just a fact and not one Harry was upset to acknowledge. He liked watching; it put a small tentative smile on his face.

Finally, Draco paused and hovered above the Gryffindor goal posts. Harry took a deep breath and flew slowly in that direction. He wasn't sure what he was going to say. And frankly he was scared out of his wits about finally facing him. But almost against his will. He found himself being dragged to Draco's side.

Draco looked up at him and then looked away, disinterested. Harry flew until he was about five feet away from him. Draco didn't glance up again, apparently hoping Harry would just go away.

"Draco." Harry said and gray eyes the same color as the sky flashed to him.

"Don't call me that." Draco replied harshly.

Harry sucked in a quick breath and his hands tightened around his broomstick, "Draco, we have to talk."

"We can't fucking talk here?" he whispered harshly glancing around, "I can't be seen talking to you."

Draco made a move to fly away but Harry was faster, closing the distance between them easily and grabbing the end of Draco's broom stick to keep him right where he was. They were so close Harry could see the bit of fog every time Draco exhaled.

"Draco, I don't know what else to do. It's hardly been four days and…" Harry felt his face settle into a frown, "This isn't working."

"What isn't?" Draco asked still looking around to see if anyone had noticed there little encounter yet.

Harry grabbed his chin roughly and forced him to keep still, "Look at me, okay?"

Draco glared and pushed Harry's hand away, "I told you we aren't talking anymore okay. We can't."

"I can't stand this! You mean we can't even be friends?"

"Obviously not. We always just end up…" Draco sighed heavily, "We can't be friends. There is nothing to discuss. Just leave me alone from now on."

Harry's jaw set in anger and hurt. So it was just gone. Just like that?

"Draco you can't convince me it didn't mean anything. Last time—"

"Was a fucking mistake, Potter."

Harry backed away, stung by the words. He'd expected to talk this out. Maybe set up a night to meet and discuss it further. He'd expected the same kind person he'd been friends with. But Draco was acting just like he always had before. And it hurt.

"You were nothing, Potter. Just a fuck toy and conversation, got it? Now leave me alone."

Harry could only stare blankly at Draco's livid face. This must be a dream… his eyes were as hard as dark gray stones. And Harry couldn't read an ounce of emotion there.

Harry looked away and tried to get his thoughts in order. This pain… where was it coming from? It didn't seem to have any valid source, like an injury. But it was all consuming. Harry bit his lip hoping the stinging in his eyes was from the cold air, not tears threatening to spill over.

Draco very quickly zoomed off and Harry didn't try to stop him, he didn't even turn to see which direction he'd gone in.

Eventually Harry heard something through his fogged mind. The Gryffindors were calling his name. He looked up at the stands confused before he finally turned to examine the game. And there was Draco, chasing a tiny flash of gold.

"Shit…" Harry muttered speeding off as fast as he could.

But it was too late. Draco had too far of a lead. Even if Harry went his absolute fastest and jumped from his broom, he still wouldn't be able to…

But Harry pushed those thoughts away. Time to concentrate. If he gave up before it was even over, he definitely wouldn't win. He was able to finally catch up to Draco's side and he turned to look at him. But Draco wasn't thinking about Harry at all.

Harry smiled at the look on Draco's face. His blonde hair was blown back, his cheeks flushed from the cold air. And his eyes were bright and excited. He looked exhilarated. Like he was actually having fun.

And god he was just so damn beautiful….

By the time Harry caught his train of thought and looked back up at the snitch it really was too late. He was just in time to see Draco's long fingers clasp around it.

The Slytherin side burst into loud cheers. And every one was in shock at what had happened. Even Draco himself looked surprised that they'd won. For the first time in five years, Harry Potter had lost the snitch.

Harry had never had to face a loss before. Not like this. It was his own fault. And just about everyone had seen him stalling. The disappointed looks from the Gryffindor side were enough to make him near run back to the locker room.

The perfect topping to the worst week of his life.

_Except for Sunday, _his mind quickly reminded.

Sunday had been the night he'd kissed Draco. Harry sighed and accepted it. The worst week ever, except for Sunday.

* * *

Did you love this chapter? Hate it maybe? Tell me about in a review!


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

* * *

Harry sighed as he flumped down on the couch. The common room was full of the usual party stuff that they always had after every Quidditch game. But there was no cause for celebration now.

"Oh come on Harry. It's no big deal. As long as we don't lose again we can still win the Cup." Ron assured, patting him on the back.

"Yeah but it was so obviously my fault we lost today."

"Well… yeah." Ron had to admit, "But you have a lot on your mind. I mean Quidditch comes second to…" Ron swallowed and dropped his voice, "You-Know-Who"

Harry sighed and shook his head. He didn't have any excuse and he wouldn't pretend he did. He'd just screwed up, getting so caught up in something that was obviously never going to happen.

Harry sat in the same spot nearly all night accepting the pitying assurances from his housemates with no more than a nod and weak smile.

Eventually everyone went to bed leaving Harry to brood in the firelight alone. Now the pain was really setting in. It wasn't that bad, he'd certainly had worse. But still…

He rested his head in his hands. He refused to cry over this. What was he, some lovesick idiot? Seriously, he had to get a hold of himself. It was nothing. Nothing at all.

_A fuck toy._ Draco's words rang through his head again and he bit his lip as hard as he could to keep from making any sounds.

"Harry." Someone whispered and Harry's head shot up to see who it was.

Hermione was watching him carefully, taking in every detail with her knowing brown eyes. She walked slowly and went to sit down next to him. She put her hand on his shoulder and he shook it off.

"I'm fine 'Mione. We'll win the next game for sure." Harry muttered.

Her eyes never left his face and it made him uncomfortable. He'd seen Hermione like this before. She was an expert puzzle solver and she had that same sort of determination in her eyes. She wasn't going to give up until she knew the answer.

"Harry, this isn't just about Quidditch is it?" she near whispered as though she were afraid her voice would set him off.

Harry swallowed and stared at the fire until his eyes hurt. He didn't know what to say, or how to say it. So he didn't say anything at all.

Hermione scooted closer to him along the couch and tried to catch his eyes. Harry tried to look away but eventually he looked back and saw the concern written all over her face.

Harry felt tears stinging behind his eyes and he tried his best to hold them in.

"Why am I always so fucking weak? Why can't handle things on my own like everyone else? I always have to pour my heart out to feel better and I'm sick of it…"

"You're not weak Harry. Some things are too much for anyone to shoulder. That's why you have friends who are willing to lend you their strength too. Hasn't everything we've been through taught you that much yet?"

Harry shook his head. Of course he knew that. It was one of the first true life lessons he'd learned. But still he was tired of feeling like this. It only proved what he was most afraid of…

That Draco really meant something too him. More than just a friend.

"Will you tell me what's going on Harry?"

Harry paused for a moment in thought. He wasn't sure how to word this exactly.

"Well… I sorta can't. I made a promise not to ever talk about it."

Hermione's frown deepened before she spoke again, "Well what if I guess?"

Harry shrugged, "I guess that doesn't count. But you'll never be able to…"

Hermione examined him a little longer, "Does it have anything to do with you sneaking out at night?" Hermione asked and at Harry's shocked look she continued, "I've seen you leave with you invisibility cloak a few times."

"Oh… well yeah."

"So." She said shifting in her seat a little to get more comfortable, "Have you been meeting someone?"

Harry nodded solemnly.

Hermione let out a breath, "I think I'm doing well so far. So, you've been sneaking out to meet someone. A friend?"

Harry paused, "Well sort of…"

"Less than a friend? More?"

Harry bit his lip and tried to think of a way to word it; but really there wasn't any way to explain, "More." He whispered.

Hermione didn't even spare him a strange look; she only nodded and continued to think, "Okay. Well since you've been sneaking out to meet this person I know they're not a Gryffindor… Is it that Chang girl again? Harry, please don't tell me you went back with her after she dumped you like that."

"No, it isn't Cho. It isn't even a Ravenclaw. Or a Hufflepuff." Harry was careful with his words. He didn't want to break his promise. He swore never to tell what happened in that room. But there was nothing about saying what _didn't_ happen there.

Hermione's eyes widened, "A Slytherin? No wonder you had to sneak… Do I know this Slytherin?"

Harry nodded, "But Hermione… it isn't a girl.' He near whispered, unsure as to how she would react.

"Wow…" she whispered back, "It couldn't be… the boy who caught the snitch today…?"

Harry looked away unable to answer. But his silence spoke for him.

Hermione paused for minute before she smiled as though she were about to laugh. Then, seeing Harry's face, stopped herself. The half smile slowly faded from her face.

"You're not kidding…" she stated more than asked, "W-wow Harry. That certainly does explain why you meet in secret. But why are you upset? Is he just being a rude git like always?"

Harry shook his head, "He's…amazing."

Hermione's eyebrows rose so high they disappeared under her bangs.

"So then, why are you so upset?" she asked again, noting that Harry had avoided that question once already, "Just… exactly how much more than friends were you?"

Harry bit his lip, "It's exactly what you're thinking…"

She was silent for a long while. And Harry felt that there was too much room for interpretation so he quickly explained.

"Well the first time I was drunk before I left the common room." He worded carefully, "and it just… you know. Happened. And then… you know what friends with benefits are. It was… like that."

Hermione continued watching his face closely for anything extra Harry might be hiding before finally she spoke again, "What changed then?"

Harry sighed, "I don't know. It just… suddenly it wasn't just a casual shag you know… last Sunday…" Harry paused his brow furrowing as he tried his best to get this off his chest and not break his promise, "We just… I was scared because I knew that what I was feeling couldn't be right. I just couldn't be… you know… In l-l…" Harry paused trying to get control of his voice.

Hermione patted him on the shoulder, "Take your time." She whispered.

Harry nodded and took a deep breath, exhaling shakily before he continued, "I think he was scared too. But when I tried to talk to him about it… He told me what he really felt and…" Harry could feel his throat getting thick and he was trying so hard not to cry. His cheeks were on fire.

But he was finally facing it; he was finally being honest with himself. He put his head in his hands again and tried not to let Hermione see him cry. But she probably heard the hitches in his breath.

It was embarrassing to cry in front of others. But it always seemed to help, so Harry allowed a few tears to leak out.

"It's over." he muttered, "And that's not even really true because nothing was ever started. I just got carried away. But it never meant anything. He made that clear… so I've just got to get over it. It was never anything from the start."

"Are you sure you can get over it?"

"…No. I'm fucking terrified that I'll never be able to get over it. It's been less than a week and already I'm a mess."

Hermione sighed and stayed by his side as Harry regained his composure.

Hermione gave him a small smile as he finally lifted his head and looked at her again, "So what're you going to do?"

"I'll get over him. I'll find a way….Somehow…"

Xx-XxX-xX

Draco lay in his bed just staring at the dark green of his curtains. His thoughts had taken a rather dark turn. The things he'd said to Harry…

—_were nothing but the truth. Stop pretending you can escape who you are Malfoy. It's better this way. Cut it off before you go too far to turn back._

But if this was better, why did Draco feel like shit?

This was nothing but a hassle from the start. Sometimes they were friends and then other times they were enemies again. That kind of relationship wasn't worth the effort. That's what Draco was trying to convince himself at least.

Sex was fine, but as soon as it became more than that it was time to cut it off. He'd done this many times before, with both girls and boys. It was a simple thing really. But it'd never felt like this before. It'd never… _hurt_.

He was really beginning to fear the worst.

That maybe… he'd already gone too far. Maybe there was no going back. Maybe he'd be stuck like this forever.

Draco groaned and rolled over onto his other side. This was so not worth it. He should just forget he ever knew Potter. Try and revive the image he'd had of the Golden Boy before. A selfish, spoiled, Dumbledore worshiper who enjoyed his fame more than he'd ever admit.

But Draco had seen firsthand that none of that was true.

The curtains flew open and Draco winced at the light.

"Blaise, how many times must I remind you that closed curtains are the international sign of 'leave me the fuck alone'?"

"Apparently one more time, Drakie."

"Ugh. Don't call me that."

Blaise smiled and shoved him over, lying down next to him and putting his hands behind his head as he relaxed fully into a bed that wasn't his, "So, what's the problem?"

Draco shoved him back, nearly succeeding in pushing him off but finally gave up, "None of your damned business. I just don't feel well."

Blaise examined his nails feigning nonchalance, "You sure it doesn't have anything to do with… Harry Potter?"

Draco froze and then sat up quickly, "How in the hell-"

"You really should find a better hiding place for your diary, Drakie."

Draco's cheeks flushed and he pushed Blaise with all his strength making him topple to the floor.

"You're unbearable! And it's not a _diary_. It's a journal…"

Blaise rolled his eyes, "Doesn't make any difference to me whether your smitten with Potter or not."

"I am not!" Draco cried indignantly.

"Even Pansy thinks-"

"You told Pansy!" Draco nearly screamed in shock and anger.

"She guessed. She can be damn smart when she wants to." Blaise answered indifferently.

Draco felt like he might just scream in frustration. This was literally the worst day of his entire life.

"Just go away!" Draco shouted.

Blaise's smile dissipated quickly as he saw Draco was in no mood for games. Of course he always realized this too late. Usually after he'd pissed Draco off irreversibly.

"You're really tore up over him aren't you?" Blaise asked.

"No, I'm not. I hate him and hate you too. So leave. Now."

Blaise just stared up at him from the floor, his dark eyes as serious as Draco had seen them in a long time.

"You know I'm your friend. You can talk to me about anything. And Pansy too. We're still safe while we're at school. We don't have to worry about You-Know-Who yet. And you know I'd never say anything."

"I know that Blaise… that's not why I'm angry."

Blaise stood cautiously watching to see if Draco's fragile temper would flare again, "You gonna tell me why?"

Draco shook his head, "It's nothing. I'm perfectly content with the way things are now."

"I hope you're being honest Draco. I mean we're Slytherins; it's in our blood to lie. But the worst thing anyone can do, is lie to themselves. There's no profit in that, you know."

Draco sobered instantly. That was not what he needed to hear right now. He wanted at least a few more days of denial. He felt the long overdue pain in his heart. And he knew it was really too late.

"Blaise… I think I'm in love."

Xx-XxX-xX

That night, Harry made up his mind. There was a Plan B; there always would find a way out of this. And he had the perfect idea. It would hopefully cure just about every problem he currently had.

That next morning at breakfast Harry felt tons better. He even laughed and smiled. As more sleepy students filled the hall, the mail came. Harry wasn't expecting anything, but Shadow landed in front of him holding out his leg.

Hermione glanced at the note knowingly and then back at Harry as if to see his reaction. Harry looked over Ron's shoulder to the Slytherin table to see Draco was looking at him.

Harry gave Shadow a bit of his toast as a treat and with shaking hands slowly removed the note.

He stared at it for a moment before he felt the resolve from last night well up in his chest.

Without even opening it, he ripped the note to pieces, shoved the shreds into an empty cup and lit them on fire.

Hermione looked a little shocked but said nothing only going back to her own breakfast. Whereas, across the room, Draco looked as though he'd just been smacked in the face.

Harry ignored him.

Time for Plan B.

"Ginny." Harry said turning to his right to talk to her.


	17. Chapter 17

Just want to thank all my readers for sticking with me this far. xD

Even though Harry and Draco still haven't made up. D:

I promise they will soon!

Please enjoy this chapter and leave a review at the end.

* * *

Chapter 17

* * *

"Ginny." Harry started.

Most of the hall was quiet. Half because it was morning time and no one was really awake yet and half because everything Harry did was a side show. So many of his fellow students watched the unfolding drama like it was the best entertainment of the day. He knew this would soon be in the Daily Prophet but he couldn't care less.

Ginny looked up from her eggs, "Yeah, what is it Harry?"

Harry tried his best to smile. Thank god for those lying lessons Draco gave him.

"Well, it just suddenly dawned on me that I shouldn't wait anymore. I'm not nervous now." Harry grabbed her hand and held it tightly, "I was just wondering if you'd be my girlfriend."

Hermione choked while taking a sip of milk; she sputtered and coughed. Parvati gently patted her on the back.

Ginny stared at Harry her chocolate brown eyes wide in shock, "Well that's a bit sudden." She breathed.

"I know." Harry smiled.

Ginny gave him a reluctant smile before she shook her head and offered him her hundred-watt grin, "Of course I will, Harry." She said wrapping her arms around his neck.

Harry smiled and hugged her back. He glanced over at the Slytherin table to see that Draco was watching with a blank sort of look.

Harry offered him a small smile before he pulled Ginny back and kissed her full on the lips. He could feel Ginny's surprise and embarrassment but she didn't refuse him. A round of whistles went up from the surrounding Gryffindors.

Ron threw a piece of toast at him, "Merlin, Harry, that's my sister you're snogging. I'm happy for you, really, but get a room."

Harry broke away and laughed, "Sorry."

Ginny looked breathless and lightheaded, "I'm not." She whispered.

Harry grabbed her hand and interlaced their fingers—the international sign for a couple. When he looked back over at where Draco had been sitting, his seat was empty. Harry looked around and managed to catch a glimpse of Draco's pale blond hair as he left the Great Hall, closing the door behind him.

Just about everyone in Gryffindor was happy for him. They all swore they knew it would happen eventually. And Harry had to agree. If it weren't for the night he'd decided to get drunk, he probably would have been with Ginny already.

Hermione poked him hard in the side ruining his happy mood. Harry turned to her and saw a dark angry glare.

"You and I need to talk." She muttered darkly.

Harry's mouth settled into a frown, "No, we don't."

"Then how about I announce everything you said last night to the entire hall, hm?"

Harry bit the inside of his lip and he glared back at her, angry that she wasn't happy for him like everyone else.

He turned to Ginny and smiled at her, "I've got to go. But I'll see you later, alright?"

She smiled and nodded letting go of his hand, "See you later, then." She blushed a little.

Harry leaned in and pecked her cheek before he stood grabbing his bag. Hermione was right behind him, nearly pushing him out of the hall. She took him outside and roughly sat him on the front steps. It was a chilly autumn morning so hardly anyone was out.

"Just what the hell do you think you are doing?" She asked her hands on her hips.

"Why does it matter to you?" Harry countered, "I'm doing what I want. And I'm happy. That's all that counts."

"Ginny is a nice girl and you will not use her for your own selfish reasons."

Harry rolled his eyes, "I'm not. Like I said, there was nothing between me and… what's-his-face. It can't be over because it was never there to begin with. And I—" Harry paused for a minute looking away from Hermione's eyes, "I really like Ginny…."

"Harry, you can lie to a lot of people but you can't lie to me. You don't even like girls. You never have. This whole thing explains so much. You're gay and you don't want Ginny. You're using her and I don't like it."

"I'm not gay." Harry whispered harshly, glancing around to see if anyone had heard anything.

"Oh come on Harry, let's be honest for a few minutes, shall we? You're not exactly straight as an arrow."

Harry set his jaw and stood towering over Hermione with a dark look on his face.

"The conversation last night never happened. Even this right now isn't happening. You'll forget I ever told you anything and you'll mind your own business. Understand?"

Hermione looked ready to start scolding him again; he could see the fire in her eyes. But for whatever reason she bit her tongue before mumbling, "Understood."

Xx-XxX-xX

Ginny turned out to be as good a girlfriend as Harry could ever ask for. She was sweet and direct and she stayed by his side all the time. She didn't talk a lot or annoy him. It was just like having a close friend with you all the time.

She did have a little jealousy problem and Harry more than once had to apologize a billion times simply for smiling in the direction of any female. And after Ginny became comfortable with kissing, she wanted to do it all the time.

Unfortunately, Harry didn't. Kissing Ginny felt weird. It was hardly even pleasant. Her mouth tasted a little weird. Not like food or anything it just didn't taste good. Not like Draco. His mouth tasted cold and spicy like spearmint but sweet too. Not a sugary sweet but a subtle sort of sweetness that made Harry shiver every time he tasted it. Of course Harry could still tell he wasn't eating sweet mints. It was definitely unique. He couldn't forget that he was kissing Draco Malfoy.

And kissing Ginny was more work. Maybe because she was a girl, she expected Harry to make all the moves and do all the work. There was no conquering in their kisses. And that was actually the thing that turned him off the most. It was just too…easy.

But other than that everything seemed to be going okay.

Harry saw Draco occasionally and they said nothing to each other. They didn't even argue and fight like they used to. Harry just pretended Draco didn't exist. And, despite the owls he continued to get, that was easy during the day.

But every single night, he had the same dream of falling. And this time he wasn't scared of hitting the ground. Now Draco was glaring at him and there were spikes sticking up all around him. If Harry hit the ground he'd die for sure. He'd probably be cut all over too. It would be a messy, painful death.

And now there was an added horror. When he'd get close enough he'd see Draco's eyes, both hard and clouded; hiding. And Draco would be smirking and saying something. His mouth would be moving over and over but Harry could never figure out what he was saying until he was just about to hit the ground. Draco would glare at him and say, "Fuck toy." before Harry jolted awake.

But thankfully, all of those worries stayed in his room. When he left, everything was perfect again and he could pretend the dreams didn't exist at all.

They even won the next two Quidditch matches: one against Ravenclaw and the other a rematch against Slytherin. Draco seemed slow and distracted. It was nothing for Harry to push past him and grab the snitch. And he didn't look back once.

Around the middle of November, Harry walked into Potions class and for the first time in years, Draco Malfoy wasn't there. Harry looked around in shock. But after fifteen minutes it became apparent that the blond simply wasn't going to show up. Draco's friends hardly seemed to notice the difference but Snape was in a decidedly dour mood. Before the end of the hour Harry managed to single handedly lose over 75 points for Gryffindor. Harry ignored the grumbling of his housemates as Snape took points for his every mistake. It wasn't his fault, he just couldn't concentrate. Not without that blond head in the second row as always. It was unbelievable for Malfoy to miss his favorite class.

Harry let it go though and didn't question it much. It wasn't any of his business anyway. They weren't friends—Harry made sure of that. He'd received a number of owls from Draco since the morning he'd started dating Ginny and he'd purposefully ignored them all. He didn't care about Drac-_Malfoy_ anymore. No he didn't… he didn't care…

Draco missed the rest of his classes for that day. And even worse, his spot at the Slytherin table was conspicuously empty at every single meal. Harry gritted his teeth and forced himself not to pay attention to Draco's absences.

For four days in a row Draco missed all of his classes and all meals. By the end Harry was starting to panic. He was seriously considering going to Dumbledore with his worries. It just wasn't like Draco to miss so much class. But just when Harry was reaching his breaking point of 'not caring', Draco magically reappeared.

Harry wasn't sure what happened, but after his absence, Draco seemed listless, empty and cold. The glimmer of life in his bright eyes had flickered and faded to nothing. His eyes seemed tarnished now; His skin dull and sickly. His appearance altogether was completely _un-Malfoy_.

That was the same time that the owls stopped. Draco wasn't trying to contact him anymore. Harry would have liked to pretend this made him happy. He would have liked to believe he was relieved that Draco had finally given up and realized he really wasn't interested. But mostly, he was hurt that Draco really had given up. Though he didn't think it was just because Draco wasn't interested, but because he was preoccupied with whatever problem he had now. And Harry itched to help him. To ease his troubles and pain the same way Draco had for him. But he was too stubborn; too committed to his plan of ignoring and forgetting Draco to give in now.

Harry tried to pretend it didn't matter. He looked away from the depressed Slytherin when they passed in corridors. He refused to acknowledge that Draco didn't eat at meals, not even when they served his favorite desserts. It shouldn't matter to Harry anyway. It shouldn't…

Despite his best efforts not to care, Harry found it hard to ignore the fact that something was obviously wrong with the boy. Still, even though it did bother him, and the Malfoy of his dreams seemed to take on a more sallow and empty appearance as well, he said nothing.

It wasn't until one day in transfigurations that finally a few words were shared between them.

Harry had his head down, taking careful notes (a.k.a doodling) when McGonagall called out names for an in-class partners assignment. Harry was only half paying attention until he heard his name called.

"Potter and… Malfoy." She said eyeing him as though daring him to object before continuing down the list.

If Harry had been paying attention he would have seen that McGonagall wasn't just picking on him in particular. All of the partners were Gryffindor/Slytherin. If he had been paying attention he would have heard the many groans of disappointment and disbelief. But he hadn't been paying attention, so his jaw dropped comically in shock.

He watched with barely contained disbelief as Draco apathetically picked up his book bag and walked silently to the now empty seat beside Harry. After Draco had sat down, McGonagall began explaining the assignment.

Harry half expected Draco to instantly start passing notes or something. Now that he finally had a chance to talk to him without Harry being able to avoid it. He expected Draco to tell him exactly what he'd been writing in those owls everyday.

But he didn't. Draco kept his darkened gray eyes aimed straight ahead. His chair was as far away from Harry as humanly possible and his demeanor showed absolutely no emotion. Harry was confused if not a little hurt. Draco was really giving up? _Really?_

"I'm going to pass out your blocks of lead and cotton now. One of you will record the changes in the objects while the other tries to perform the spell and then you'll switch. Is that clear?" She asked only to be answered by a melancholy and disjointed chorus of varied agreement.

As a lead block and a cotton ball gently floated down to their desk Draco finally turned to look at Harry. Harry stared back, not sure what Draco would do next. But the blond only closed his eyes and turned away again before nearly whispering,

"Would you like to go first?"

Harry looked back down at their objects before giving a little sigh and nodding his head. Harry pointed his wand at the cotton ball first as Draco took out a sheet of parchment and kept his hand and quill posed above it, ready to write.

Harry knew that this was one of the hardest kinds of transfiguration besides changing living things. Changing density and weight was extremely difficult. Only magic could make cotton as heavy as lead without changing its size.

"Esaeric nissam" Harry said as confidently as he could as he pointed his wand at the cotton. The cotton turned a pale shade of gray but it definitely wasn't lead. Harry sighed and picked up the cotton. If felt a little heavier.

He turned to see Draco writing slowly across his parchment. Harry wondered why he was writing so slowly. His hand usually seemed to fly across his parchment when he was taking notes. Maybe he just wanted an excuse not to look up at Harry.

As Harry watched his hand, he saw how thin his fingers looked. He could see the blue-ish veins beneath Draco's skin. Harry's brow creased in worry. He knew Draco hadn't been eating much but from far away he could never tell if the blond had lost weight or not. And even as he was watching, Draco's hands started to tremble and Harry felt a sharp stab of pain in his chest.

Harry took a breath as though to say something but then bit his lip. He wasn't supposed to be talking to Draco. He was supposed to be ignoring him. He was supposed be happy about not talking to him. But sometimes, like now, it felt like a punishment. Draco _needed_ help. It wasn't about they're meetings in the tower room. It was about just… helping your fellow man. Yeah, that's it. It was just common courtesy to be worried when you saw another person in pain. So there was nothing wrong with commenting on it.

He glanced over at Draco again. His hair had grown a little and was hanging down over his face shielding his eyes. Harry remembered the night he'd told Draco he'd never liked his hair gelled back. And since then, it never had been. Draco always let his blond fringe hang down over his forehead, even now.

Harry swallowed, took a deep breath and reminded himself that this had nothing to do with the tower room. Nothing to do with how he felt about Draco…

"Draco." He whispered and his pale hand stopped writing, "You haven't been eating."

The blond was silent, but didn't turn his head to look at Harry. He instead continued to stare down at the paper, "…So you're talking to me now?" Draco asked his voice hard with bitterness.

"No." Harry responded too quickly, "But I-"

"If you're not talking to me, then shut up." Draco interrupted before beginning to write again.

Harry bit his lip to keep from snapping at the blond. He closed his eyes for a minute, trying to calm down before he spoke again, "I'm worried about you. You need to eat."

"It's none of your business, Harry." Draco said back quietly.

Harry wasn't really angered by those words. At least he had called him by his first name. But Harry wasn't finished. Even if they weren't friends at all, Harry wouldn't let Draco just waste away. It was wrong.

Harry took a deep breath before reaching over and grabbing Draco's pale slender hand in his own.

"Please." Harry whispered, "Get better."

There was a moment of silence as Harry held Draco's shaking hand tight in his own before Draco snatched his hand away and stood up quickly.

"Don't you fucking touch me, traitor." Draco yelled in Harry's face making the entire class turn around and stare at them.

…_traitor?_

"Mr. Malfoy, What is the meaning of this?" Professor McGonagall started but she wasn't going to get an answer. By the time she had finished speaking, Draco was done shoving his parchment and quill into his bag and he was heading out the door. No one went after him.

Harry had to partner with another two people to finish the assignment but his mind was completely distracted. The livid look on Draco's face as he had yelled at him seemed burned onto the inside of his eyelids. The feeling of Draco's cold trembling hand and then.

"_Traitor!"_

Harry winced.

Was he the traitor now?

* * *

Please leave a review. It makes me happy. XD


	18. Chapter 18

Harry and Draco are going to make up in the next chappie! Yay! xD

Please enjoy this chapter and leave a review at the end.

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Chapter 18

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The rest of November was gone in a flash and December had begun. Soon, Christmas would be here and Harry had an idea. Even if he would never forgive Draco and they could never be friends again, there was one thing he wanted to get him for Christmas. Something to at least thank him for his kindness of earlier. And Harry felt he was being damn nice in doing so.

It wasn't hard; He just sent an owl to Mrs. Weasley

But since it was Saturday and also the 15th of December, the group arranged a Hogsmeade trip to get some shopping done.

Harry had quickly and happily agreed. Even though he and Hermione had never quite gotten along as well as they had before, he could handle spending a full day around her.

He did feel a little bad that they weren't on good terms. She was his friend; she'd listened and comforted him. And he really hadn't repaid her…

But Harry was enjoying this new life of denial. What was one more thing to ignore? Just pretend it wasn't there and it went away.

Ginny clung to his arm and refused to let go, dragging him to shop windows and dropping hints about what she might like for Christmas. Harry hardly paid attention. He really couldn't care that much. On days like this, Ginny really annoyed him. So he just kept the smile plastered on his face and tried not to snap at her.

It was while he was browsing the shelves at Honeydukes that he spotted Draco, on either side of him were his friends Blaise and Pansy. They all looked up and stared right at him. Harry's shoulders stiffened. Draco's eyes didn't look so hard anymore, but he couldn't read them.

Ginny came skipping up to his side with a wide grin and a large lollipop, but Harry didn't even wait to hear what she had to say. He simply grabbed her up into his arms and kissed her firmly on the lips. She was obviously surprised and dropped the lollipop on the nearest shelf before wrapping her arms around Harry's neck. Harry casually slipped his tongue into her mouth and winced a little. Not that her mouth ever tasted bad, just that… it never tasted like Draco.

He spun them around a bit so he could glance up and look at where Draco was. He stood like a statue, watching. His eyes and face blank at first, and then rage, worse than any Harry had seen on the blond boys face before. It made Harry's breath catch. Of course, Ginny thought the hitch in his breathing was due to her kissing skills and she became much more enthusiastic.

Harry let his eyes fall closed again, half because he wanted to make this kiss a bit more enjoyable, half because he wanted Draco to think he was enjoying it, and half because he couldn't stand the look of fury and pain on Draco's face.

_Ah… too many halves…_

Somebody lobbed a heavy little box of chocolates at his head and Harry's mouth popped off of Ginny's with a slightly gross smacking sound. He looked up at the spot where Draco and his friends had been standing but they were gone. When he turned, he saw that it was Hermione who was glaring daggers at him.

He gave her as hard a look as he would give anyone else and kissed Ginny a few more times before he finally backed away, "Let's get going." He smiled at her half heartedly.

She put her hand to her forehead as though she were light headed and nodded her hasty agreement. They left then, and headed for The Three Broomsticks. Harry had a sick feeling in his stomach when he thought of how angry and hurt Draco had looked. He figured some Firewhiskey would be exactly the thing to help him forget it.

Xx-XxX-xX

"That nasty little fucker!" Pansy near screeched, "I hate him. I really do."

"Now, now Pansy. Drakie here said a lot of horrible things to him. Potter deserves some revenge. Don't you think?" Blaise said lightly elbowing Draco in the side.

Draco didn't respond; couldn't respond. Not even to scold Blaise for using that damned nickname again. He felt like his heart was being ripped into tiny, tiny pieces. So then it was just over? He'd fucked up and there was no way to fix it?

Could he be blamed for being scared? Was it his fault that he panicked and tried to shove Harry away?

Yes, it probably was.

Draco was so lost in his thoughts he hardly had time to stop himself before he ran head first into some girl standing in the middle of the sidewalk.

"What're you, stupid? Don't just go standing in the middle of the walk way." Draco scolded her half heartedly without even bothering to glance at her face.

The girl grabbed his upper arm with a firm grip and pulled him back to face her, "I don't do anything without reason." She said sharply.

Draco blinked at her finally recognizing her face, "What do you want, Granger?"

She glanced suspiciously at his friends, "They know about your late nights?" She asked quietly.

"Yes but…" Draco replied before he realized what he was saying, "How the hell do you know?"

"Not important. You and I need to talk." She said pulling him away towards a little alley.

Draco waved off his friends before turning back to the bushy haired girl in front of him, "What do you mean it's not important? It's very important. He told you? How much did he tell you?" Draco whispered harshly.

"He didn't tell me. I guessed." At seeing Draco's exasperated look she continued, "Just that you two were meeting and became a little closer than friends."

Draco felt the blood drain out of his face. How bloody perfect, a heaping dose or regret and betrayal topped off with humiliation and sprinkled with anger. Bloody. Fucking. _Perfect_.

"Well… whatever." Draco responded, his voice sounding a little too weak for his liking, "I don't fucking care anymore." He said moving to walk away.

Hermione squeezed his arm harshly, "You and I know very well that you _do_ care, and so does Harry. Now I personally couldn't care less that you two were together, and I'd be just fine if you got back together. The only thing I really care about now is that Harry is using Ginny just to get back at you. So-"

"Using her to get back at me? He's straight, always has been. I should have known better." Draco caught himself. He hadn't meant to say all that.

"Harry is as gay as they come. He's just upset that you refused him. Now listen closely because we don't have a lot of time here. Right now Harry's at the Three Broomsticks. I can lure him out into one of these convenient little alleys and then I'm leaving it to you. Make up with him."

"He seems quite content with his new _girlfriend_ from my point of view. I've got no reason to make up with him at all."

"Malfoy, I wish I had more to threaten you with because I'm not really asking. I'm demanding."

"And I can still walk away and say no if I wanted." Draco smirked.

"But you don't want to." Hermione replied easily with undeniable confidence.

Draco stiffened. Was he that transparent?

"Fine. I'll… I'll talk to him. But I'm not promising anymore than that."

"Fine." Hermione agreed, "Come with me."

Draco bit his lip not sure he should trust her. Maybe this was some elaborate ploy so that Harry could publicly embarrass him. But even as angry as Harry could possibly be, he would never be that cruel. And from his point of view it certainly did seem as though Granger was sincere.

He nodded his agreement and followed her, trudging through the snow and towards the Three Broomsticks. Hermione glanced around a few times before leading him around back where there was another entrance, though it seemed to be largely disused. There was no one in the dark back alley but them, but that didn't stop Draco from casting his own furtive glances back and forth.

"Harry will come out here in five minutes. _Stay. Right. Here_." She said emphasizing the last three words as though he were a disobedient child, before she went in through the door leaving him to stand alone.

Draco sighed. This was stupid and he knew it. But it wasn't like he had any other choice. All his attempts to owl Harry had been useless. And he couldn't talk to him in person because that stupid Weasel twit was always following him around.

He leaned against the wall and wondered briefly where Pansy and Blaise had gotten off too. He hoped they weren't too worried about him. But then again, one of the rules in Slytherin was 'Don't wait up'. Slytherins were always sneaking out or doing something questionable. It was common knowledge that if you weren't invited into the scheme, don't try to weasel your way in. Otherwise you might end up on someone's bad side. And there's nothing worse than a Slytherin holding a grudge against you.

So after years of habit, his friends basically ignored Draco's actions knowing that eventually he would explain everything to them anyway. They probably had barely even noticed he was always gone at night.

Draco checked his watch a few times. After ten minutes he began to fear he'd been set up. Granger didn't look like the type to be late. If she said five, she meant five. After twenty minutes Draco sighed and turned to leave but he ran square into Harry who had just opened the door.

They stared at each other for some immeasurable amount of time before Draco grabbed the front of Harry's shirt roughly and pushed him against the wall. He glared hard into those green eyes hoping to see something, something akin to what he was feeling. But he only saw shock, and then anger.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing? We can't talk. Someone will see."

"I don't give a damn if anyone sees anymore." Draco replied his voice tight.

He had to remember to be civil. He was supposed to be making up with him. Talking reason to him. But since when did Harry ever listen to reason?

Harry's face sobered a bit and he looked back at Draco, "You don't care if anyone sees?"

"No." Draco answered back quietly.

"Well, still I'd prefer not to be touched by _traitors_." Harry said shoving him away.

"I'm not the fucking _traitor_ here anymore. So I avoided you for a week or two, that's nothing compared to you shacking up with that weasel whore."

"How fucking dare you, Malfoy. I can date if I bloody well feel like it. I never had any commitment to you at all. You made it crystal clear we were just friends. _Were_ being the key word now."

Draco opened his mouth to say something else scathing. To get all of his frustration and anger out but he stopped himself and backed away closing his eyes for a moment. When he felt he finally had enough control to at least pretend he was calm he opened his eyes again.

"Okay, so we've got a lot to talk about. You're mad at me for obvious reasons and I'm mad at you too. But we have to talk it out, not just leave it the way it is."

"So now you realize this. After calling me a fu- … well you get the damn picture. It's pretty convenient that you get to realize this and I'm just supposed to go along with it."

Draco sighed exasperatedly, "Alright, I'm a fucking twat okay. I get it. But now isn't the time or," Draco glanced around, "Or the place for this."

Harry stared at him just waiting for what Draco was going to say. Though they both knew exactly what it would be.

"I'll be staying here over break you know. So how about… 11:30, this coming Monday."

Harry seemed to actually think it over for a moment. Draco watched, pursing his lips, too arrogant to admit that he was really nervous as to whether or not Harry would agree.

"…Fine." Harry finally agreed his voice hardly above a whisper.

Draco felt a rush a relief and he let out a huge sigh. But he couldn't find any words to say. So he simply nodded. As he turned to walk away Harry called after him.

"Don't be late."

Draco allowed himself to smirk a little. Excluding that one time, he was never late. But he would make damn sure that he wasn't this time.

* * *

Please leave a review. It makes me happy. xD plus if I get a lot of them I like to post early.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

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Draco had never been more nervous as he walked up those stairs. Not in his entire life had he felt his way. So anxious and worried, and yet eager all at the same time. Ready to set things straight again since he so frequently seemed to knock them off balance.

Draco wondered only briefly when he'd finally be able to make the right decision first. He usually ended up making the right decisions in his life, but it was always only after he fucked up and had to apologize. He wondered if there would ever be a time that he would be able to choose correctly the _first_ time.

He hoped there would be.

Draco eyed the door with a frown on his face. Was he ready?

He was.

He took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

Harry stood, outlined in moonlight, facing the large window. He didn't turn to look at Draco but they were both aware of each other. Draco was silent as a shadow, slipping into the room and letting the door quietly fall closed behind him. He stood for a long while just watching Harry's back before he reminded himself he had a purpose here tonight.

He sighed and walked up to Harry's side looking out the window as well. It was safer that way. He wasn't sure he wanted to look at Harry's face yet. It was much easier to just stare out the window. And the grounds were beautiful this time of year, all coated in fluffy white, with the moon shining ever so brightly over the entire scene. Everything always looked silver from this window. Everything glistened like it was a treasure that should not be wasted.

"This window is… odd." Harry whispered, "Don't you think?"

Draco nodded slowly, "Yeah… Think it's magical?"

"It must be."

Draco sighed and finally turned to Harry, "I didn't come here to talk about a window alright? I came here because… because…"

Where were all his words when he needed them most? Draco never had to fumble around for his words. They were always right there. Easily flowing from his mouth and doing his bidding. Whether it was to charm or insult, his words were always there.

Harry looked at him, waiting for him to finish his sentence. But the words were gone now. They'd evaporated into thin air before they had even reached his lips and Draco couldn't seem to make them come back.

"Because of what, Draco?" Harry finally asked.

But Draco still couldn't answer. He only shook his head. Harry sighed and sat down finally, raking his fingers through his hair.

"I know you didn't come here to mock me. And I know you didn't come here to profess your undying love or some crap. So then why…" Harry said but he didn't look at Draco. He stared at the floor as if the mismatched stones could answer him, "Why Draco?"

Draco felt his breath leave him in a hurry and finally he felt like he could move again. He sat down carefully leaving more than enough space between Harry and himself.

"I don't fucking know." He said surprised at how angry his voice sounded, "I just don't. I mean, being friends works for us but more… more? Can we… Are we even allowed to do that?"

Harry stared at him, "Since when does either of us care what we're _allowed_ to do?"

"I care." Draco replied thinking of the letter still hidden in his bedside table drawer.

"Since when?" Harry scoffed.

"Since now." Draco responded too quickly, his voice harder than he'd intended it to be

Harry took a moment to size him up and see how serious he was being, "…Fine." He finally assented, "But I _don't_ care what we're allowed to do.I'm sick of acting like this."

Draco rolled his eyes, "Acting, Potter? It didn't seem like acting to me. From what I can tell the part that was the act was when you were meeting with me."

Harry looked hurt and he turned away, "…You honestly think that I would just screw with you like that? For no reason?"

Draco shrugged, "What am I supposed to believe. Since you're all shacked up with that Weasel slut."

Harry didn't even bother to reprimand him for insulting Ginny. He only sighed again slowly. Draco watched him; Harry certainly did look unhappy. And Draco's hands twitched to reach out and help him. He had to stop himself before he actually did.

_It's just habit._ he told himself.

"I don't… I don't want Ginny… I know that." He whispered, "Now more than ever." He added bitterly.

"Why?" Draco asked shocking even himself. He wasn't supposed to be acting friendly yet. He was supposed to still be angry. But when he was with Harry, it was so hard to stay mad.

Harry looked back up at him and gave him a wry smile, "You don't wanna know."

Draco scooted closer along the window seat to Harry and poked him in the arm, "If I ask, I want to know." He said as confidently as he could.

Harry rolled his eyes and his smiled widened, "Ginny and I tried to have sex."

At first Draco felt an awful sort of feeling deep in his stomach but he suppressed it focusing on Harry's words, "Tried?"

"Well.. Yeah. I mean. We started the normal way I guess. But when it came to time to… you know. I couldn't. I wasn't even hard. Not even a little. It was embarrassing really…"

Draco had to actively try not to smile.

"Well, then I guess you're just a faggot like me." Draco finding comfort in familiar rude words

"Draco." Harry said seriously, turning to look at him, "Would you ever consider being more than just friends with me?"

Draco recoiled from that question—the one that he really truly didn't want to answer.

"Well…" he started grasping for his words again. He wasn't ready. Even after all this time and suffering, he wasn't ready to put too much of his heart on the line. He forced himself to stare right into Harry's eyes hoping to convince him of something Draco knew was not true, "No. No I wouldn't. Not yet, at least."

_Liar_ his mind whispered to him.

Harry stared at him strangely for a moment before some sort of recognition flashed in his eyes. He smiled.

"You're lying."

"I… what?" Draco asked his voice barely above a whisper.

"I told you your eyes look different when you lie. Like your making yourself appear calm when you aren't. Like you're forcing yourself to make direct eye contact so that I'll believe you. But your eyes look darker."

Draco swallowed hard and backed away slowly unable to believe that he really _was_ that transparent. He didn't want anyone to have the upper hand on him. He never wanted Harry to be in control of him; to see through his defenses. He wasn't sure what he wanted. But having someone else so completely in charge of him; having someone else be able to see through his lies. It scared him.

"I wasn't lying." He tried to assure. But that too was a lie

_Liar_.

Harry's smile widened further and then dissipated as fast as it had appeared. His face paled, "Then that means… you were lying the day of the Quidditch match too…"

Now Draco was panicking.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about!"

He backed away further and further shoving the cushions that Harry had brought askew. But finally his back hit the wall behind him. He could have stood up. He could have just bolted to the door. But he was locked in a staring battle with Harry. And he could feel himself losing; he could see the heat in those shining green eyes and it pierced right through his heart.

Harry moved closer and closer to him and Draco's heart was beating so fast he was sure it was going to pop out of his chest. This wasn't good, because now Harry knew everything, and now Harry had the upper hand. And now Harry was smiling at him like he did right before he devoured his cock, and Draco was paralyzed.

This wasn't supposed to be like this. Draco was supposed to come here apologize and go right back to the relationship he already had with Harry. It was so safe on the surface levels of intimacy. Friendship, casual sex. Safe. Draco didn't think he'd ever gone any deeper than that.

But he felt like Harry was dragging him down.

And the next thing he knew Harry had lunged at him, shoving him up against the wall so hard his head connected to the stone with a hard crack. But that wasn't the reason he was dizzy. Harry was kissing him again, the same kind of kiss as the very last night in the tower room. And Draco was moaning and kissing him back with more passion than ever before. He was melting into Harry's arms; this was most certainly the best kiss he'd had in a very, very long while.

Harry backed away slowly and stared at him, "I knew it."

Draco blushed and pushed Harry away a little harder than necessary, "Shut up."

They sat for a while breathing hard and looked everywhere but each other. Before Harry finally spoke his voice low and serious, "Do you forgive me, Draco?"

"For what?" Draco asked breathlessly.

Harry smiled bashfully and looked away for a moment, "Everything."

Draco smiled a little and nodded. It wasn't like he had any choice anyway. Everything he'd tried so hard to hide from Harry and himself was being dragged out into the open. It was scary, but Draco knew it was right. He could _feel_ it.

"And you forgive me?" he asked with just a hint of worry in his voice.

Harry smiled wide and it was like the sun breaking through the clouds, "Of course."

Draco smiled and tentatively scooted a little closer to Harry along the window seat until they were pressed right against each other. Harry wrapped his arm around Draco before speaking again.

"So what does this mean?"

"What do you think it means?" Draco asked his voice sounding quiet and far away.

Harry's cheeks flushed and he looked down for a moment, "Does this mean… you're like my boyfriend?"

Draco nearly gagged, "Ugh! You did not just say that…"

"Geez, talk about commitment issues." Harry joked looking away but Draco could read the hurt underneath it. He'd been around Harry long enough for that.

"…Look at me, Harry."

Harry looked back at him. They looked at each other for a moment and Draco bit his lip staring up into Harry's open and honest eyes. Harry never hid anything…

Draco took a deep breath and kissed Harry again. Were there ever any lips as soft as Harry's? Draco didn't think so. His lips were perfect and Draco was slow to make the kiss deeper. Harry got impatient and tried to push his tongue past Draco's lips. With a hint of annoyance Draco allowed Harry to do so. But he forgave the Gryffindor quickly. The feeling of their tongues fighting for a dominance that wasn't there to be won was mind blowing. Draco did feel like his brain had exploded, or at least, the part of it that controlled his common sense.

They broke apart only a few times just to catch their breath, but Draco didn't mind. It only amplified the feeling of their lips pressing back together. It was a slow lingering kiss. How Harry never ate sugar Draco simply couldn't understand. His lips just tasted sweet and soft, his tongue both smooth and rough and just as endlessly sweet.

When finally they pulled away, even though their kiss had been so slow, they were both breathing as though they'd ran laps around the Quidditch pitch.

Harry smiled at him, his lips wet and slightly swollen. He kissed Draco's lips fleetingly once more before kissing his cheeks and his nose and his forehead. Draco blushed and bit his lip hard to keep from saying anything rude. He wasn't used to _affection_.

"So you're my boyfriend now aren't you?"

"….If I say yes do I still get that fantastic Christmas present?"


	20. Chapter 20

Hey everyone, I'm posting early because I'm going to Six Flags this Saturday for my boyfriends bday. Yeah, I'm excited. xD and since I can never get reliable wifi on Fridays when I'm home. I'm posting now while I'm at school.

This chapter is dedicated to Oxy G of Mibba

Enjoy!

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Chapter 20

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"Hey Draco?" Harry asked as he lay in the window seat staring up at the sky.

Draco, who was lying next to him, shuffled a little to get more comfortable before answering, "Yeah?"

"What happened in November?"

Draco paused, "I don't know what you mean."

"Oh come on, you know. That time you missed a lot of class. You came back looking really depressed. When you wouldn't eat, remember? What happened?"

Draco looked straight up at the moon. Harry followed his line of sight to the silver orb suspended in the dark sky. It would be full soon, but its lopsided wide shape still lit the room perfectly.

Draco sighed, "You don't want to know."

Harry poked him gently in the side, "I'll be the judge of that." When Draco still didn't answer Harry began to get impatient, "Come on Draco. It can't be that bad. It's not like anyone died or anything."

Silence.

_Oh god please don't let that be it…_

"Draco…Did… did somebody die?"

Silence once more.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so insensitive. I just- I didn't-"

"It's fine Harry." Draco whispered.

"…Will you tell me who?"

Draco sighed heavily and turned from lying on his side to lie on his back. He stared straight up at the ceiling and Harry examined his perfect profile, waiting for Draco to speak.

"My mother." Draco finally whispered without glancing at Harry.

Harry felt a sinking feeling in his stomach, like gravity was pulling him down to earth much too fast.

"Draco… I'm so sorry." Harry whispered, not knowing what else to say.

But he truly was sorry. He knew that Draco did really love his mother. And he couldn't imagine how painful it must have been to lose her. Not only that, but to lose her while they were still fighting, while he had no one to talk to, must have been even worse. After all that Draco had done for him, the one time that Draco was in real substantial pain, Harry was too stubborn to help.

Draco shrugged, "It's nothing really."

But Harry once again saw the tell-tale sign of unnatural calm in Draco's eyes. He was lying…

Harry wrapped his arms around Draco and held him tight. Draco didn't try to laugh off Harry's concern, nor did he simply turn away. And that only affirmed Harry's belief that Draco was truly, deeply hurt over his mother's death.

Harry promised himself then and there that he would always look for that sign of unnatural calm in Draco's eyes. He vowed that even if Draco tried his best to cover it up, Harry would see through to his feelings and try his best to help. That was what a good boyfriend did after all.

Xx-XxX-xX

"Hey Pansy?" Draco asked as he buttoned up his shirt.

Pansy was lounging on his bed examining her nails as she waited for him to go to breakfast with her.

"Yes Draco darling?"

Draco didn't look up at her. He continued to stare down at his buttons, "Well… what do you think I should get him for Christmas?"

Pansy smirked, "Him? Who is this _him_?"

"I'm being serious."

"So am I." she replied quickly before standing up and sighing at Draco's obvious anger, "Oh come on Draco. What, are you afraid of saying his name? There's no one here but you and me."

Draco looked away, "Sorry Pansy. I guess I should have assumed you were mature enough to actually answer my question and not waste time preaching to me about things that I can't help." He finally answered before grabbing his cloak and heading out into the common room.

Pansy followed, "Draco. Stop being so melodramatic."

Draco ignored her and continued on out of the Slytherin dorms altogether and out into the dark corridors. Pansy followed the entire way sighing dramatically every so often and eventually glaring at him.

But what did she know? It wasn't her who had to face the Dark Lord in just one more semester. It wasn't her who would lose her family and possibly her life if she refused. It wasn't her with a daunting task in her future—one that she must complete or die a horrible painful death.

And it wasn't her with a temptation to refuse all that she had known her entire life for one person.

She couldn't understand. She just… couldn't

By the time they reached the Great Hall Draco was marginally less angry. He knew that he simply couldn't expect Pansy to understand fully.

He held the door open for her like a gentleman and she brushed past him with a dark look on her face. Draco had every intention of apologizing to her but suddenly all his thoughts halted.

He stood holding the door open like a fool as he watched Ginevra Weasley lean over and kiss his boyfriend. HIS boyfriend. Draco's hand gripped the heavy wood of the door so hard it was only a matter of time before either the wood broke or his fingers did.

HIS BOYFRIEND!

That whore! He could kill her so easily. Snap her thin little neck.

Pansy followed his line of vision and hmphed happily as though she believed Draco deserved some kind of punishment for his earlier impoliteness. But eventually she saw that the kind of punishment Draco was experiencing was grossly disproportioned to just a little rudeness.

He was shaking in anger and hurt. Before finally, Harry looked up at him.

Harry smiled sadly and gave an infinitesimal sort of nod. Draco swallowed audibly and let go of the door before walking slowly to his seat at the Slytherin table. His steps were careful and measured. As though he were forcing himself not to turn around and do something he might regret.

Though he severely doubted he'd regret killing that… that… ginger cunt.

_Pfft…ginger cunt._

The insult sounded stupid even to himself. And even through his anger he still found a small amount of humor in it. Unfortunately that humor was wiped away again as he sat down to eat breakfast. He had to watch them the entire time. Well he didn't _have to._ But it wasn't like he was going to look away and let that slut hang all over his boyfriend.

Harry had better have a damn good explanation for this. And even if he didn't, Draco was not about to let them go _unsupervised_.

"Draco?" Blaise asked poking him, "Come on. Just eat your breakfast."

Draco shook him off. He continued to glare at Ginny for the rest of the meal until finally Harry announced a little conspicuously that he had to go to the bathroom. Draco took that as his cue and stood as well. He followed Harry at length until they reached the bathroom. As soon as Draco was inside he slammed the door shut behind him, too angry to care that he was making unnecessary noise. Plus, taking out his frustrations physically really did help to calm him a little.

"Draco, before you get all bent out of shape, just let me expl-"

"Bent out of shape! Harry the last thing I expected this morning was to the see that ginger whore kissing you! You're supposedly my boyfriend now. How about you start acting like it?"

"You didn't even want to be my boyfriend!" Harry countered lamely.

"I just don't like the title. That doesn't give you permission to just— just!"

Harry placed both of his hands on Draco's shoulder and shushed him quietly, "I know, alright. I already told you I don't like Ginny. I just haven't found a way to break up with her yet. I mean… Christmas is in three days. I don't care for her at all romantically, but she's still my friend. And my best mate's little sister. I'd never live it down if I broke up with her now."

"I don't like this Harry." Draco glared, "I really don't"

Harry sighed, "Just wait till after Christmas. I promise I'll take care of it."

"You fucking better." Draco muttered letting himself be drawn into Harry's tight embrace.

Draco still wasn't all that fond of affection. But Harry was apparently a closet romantic, so he _put up with it_. Though in all actuality, Draco thought Harry's tendency to be loving was very endearing. But there was no way he was admitting that anytime soon.

"And just for your information, Ginny is a horrible kisser."

Draco couldn't help but laugh at that. It was surprising how a day that hadn't started off too well could be mended in only a few short minutes with Harry. Draco had never experienced _love_, and he doubted he ever would. His definition of love included an absolute openness and honesty, and he still hadn't given that to Harry; he never would. But this was the closest thing to true love that Draco would ever see. And so he savored it.

Harry pulled out of their hug slowly before tilting Draco's chin up and lightly kissing him. Draco nearly refused fearing he might taste some hint of the weaselette on Harry's lips, but he didn't. The lone taste there was the sweet, soft, warmth that could only be described as Harry.

Draco sighed and relaxed into the kiss. He let his lips be coaxed apart and felt Harry's tongue slip easily inside to search his mouth eagerly, hungrily. Not that Harry hadn't already thoroughly mapped every hidden surface, but that each kiss held a certain novelty to it. Maybe it was because of the constant ticking clock in the back of both of their minds. Time was dwindling…

Draco became more impassioned at that thought; the thought of losing what he had now. He kissed Harry with unrivaled enthusiasm and pressed him back against one of the sinks. Breakfast and classes and all the rest of the world be damned. All Draco could think of was the hot kiss and the way Harry's body reacted to his touches, no matter how subtle. Even the faintest caress sent delicious shudders down the Gryffindors spine.

Draco could tell they were going too far but he wasn't about to stop it now. His erection was all for continuing full speed ahead anyway. He twisted his hips forward into Harry's, eliciting small gasps and moans between their lips. Harry's hands, which had been gently cradling Draco's face as though he were some great treasure, slowly slid down, down his neck and chest and sides. Worming their way underneath his robes and tugging intently at his belt.

Draco wouldn't refuse him. Screw his classes, his grades were high enough anyway. He reached down as well helping to divest Harry of his trousers. But all the while he never let the kiss stop, not even for a moment. Their lips clashed together with almost bruising force. They simply had to get more of each other, to make up for lost time, and time that soon wouldn't be there to be lost.

Draco had Harry's fly unzipped in seconds and pulled his pants down enough to reveal his utterly beautiful manhood, already engorged with blood. Draco thought that Harry's warm cock felt perfect in his hand. The only thing that bugged him was that Harry was slightly bigger than himself. But then again, he was the golden boy, it was only reasonable that he was packing as well.

Draco mentally scoffed at that but his thoughts were suddenly wiped clean away. Harry's fingers had been too clumsy to do much about his fly, but apparently in a bout of frustration he'd simply ripped his pants open. The sheer ruthlessness of the action and the obvious hungry need behind it made Draco moan in anticipation. Harry's hands grabbed hold of his manhood firmly and Draco gave a pleasured whimper. Their kiss had become little more than pressing their open mouths together since their lips had finally begun to grow weary.

Harry pulled out of the kiss slowly and instead bent his head to kiss at Draco's exposed neck. Draco moaned and tilted his head to the side to give Harry more access to his sensitive skin. And Harry was tugging gently at his cock with a precision Draco would have thought impossible in their frenzied state. But still Harry managed to tease him just enough to make him pant for more.

But even in the midst of his own pleasure Draco couldn't forget that he had Harry's thick cock in his hand. He stroked the turgid flesh quickly, sparing a moment to spread the leaking fluids over the broad head. Harry moaned and Draco's chest filled with a strange sort of happy accomplished feeling. Making Harry feel good also satisfied Draco, in some place deep in his chest.

Harry moaned out loud again as Draco fisted the head of his cock. He bit down on Draco's earlobe causing the boy to let out his own strangled groan.

Harry purred wantonly in Draco's ear, "Ah… let me suck you. Please. I wanna taste your cock."

Those simple words evoked so many memories that Draco was sent head first towards his end. He knew it wasn't in Harry's character to say such things and he wondered if the Gryffindor had done it solely for his benefit. Right now he could hardly care.

"Yes." Draco managed to whisper and Harry gave a contented sound before dropping gracefully to his knees.

After he'd gotten some practice, … okay _lots_ of practice, Harry turned out to be very good at giving head. Not only that, he had discovered he liked it. And Draco had never seen anything more erotic than Harry when he was hungry to taste Draco's cock. It was like he wanted it _so_ badly. Like he'd do anything to try and get just a little more of the swollen organ down his throat. Like he was really _hungry_ for it, like nothing else in the entire world could satisfy him. And that, to Draco, was just as amazing as the skilled sucking was.

Draco tilted his head back waiting for the overwhelming pleasure he knew would come any moment. And then-

The door slammed open, "Harry James Potter, I will not allow you to be late…to… class…" Hermione trailed off as she stood in the doorway.

Draco turned to her and his eyes felt as wide as saucers. He couldn't seem to think of anything to do. He couldn't even manage the most obvious reaction of trying to cover himself. He simply did what a deer might do when faced with headlights. He stood stock still and stared at the bushy haired girl as though if he stayed still enough she wouldn't see him.

Harry was even worse. He had stopped to stare at Hermione with his mouth still wide open and only a few centimeters from Draco's now softening prick.

They stared at each other for some immeasurable amount of time until Hermione simply began to take small steps back until she was back out in the hallway, before she let the door swing closed.

When finally the door closed again Draco took in a gulp of much needed oxygen, "What… the fuck just happened?"

Harry's face was bright red as he finally stood up, "Hermione walked in on us…" he muttered as dusted off his knees to avert his eyes.

"No shit!" Draco yelled suddenly in hysterics. She could tell. She _would_ tell! The entire school would know everything and Draco would just-

"Draco?" Harry asked, lightly touching his arm.

Draco's frightened eyes flicked back to Harry's face, "W-what is it?" he asked before clearing his throat, embarrassed that his voice had cracked.

"Umm.. Well I've still got a bit of a problem here…" Harry said bashfully.

"Oh for Merlin's sake Harry." Draco had no idea how Harry could still be aroused after that, Draco certainly wasn't. But he only sighed as he dropped to his knees. He could make this quick. He knew exactly how Harry liked it best anyway.

_Move your hand steadily around the base. Suck on the head…a little harder. Graze the tip with your teeth. That's right he's almost there. Now just swallow him whole and wait for the screaming…_

It really didn't take long and luckily Harry had sense enough not to scream just in case Hermione was still waiting outside. Draco scowled a little and stood wiping his mouth. He was totally and utterly embarrassed. He was sure he'd never be able to look Hermione Granger in the eye again without blushing fantastically.

Harry buttoned his trousers conspicuously before washing his hands. Draco went to do the same and when he remembered that Harry had nearly torn his pants open. Cursing under his breath but still smiling as he remembered Harry's passion, Draco took out his wand and fixed his pants. When they both finally met each other's eyes it was with no small hint of shame.

"Let's never do that again unless we're in our tower room." Harry said.

"Agreed." Draco quickly replied.


	21. Chapter 21

GYAH! I'm so sorry this chap is late. I was at Magic Mountain again. I got season passes and I don't live far so… No excuse! I'm really sorry everyone. Please still leave me reviews. This chap is very long so I hope you enjoy it.

-Shinosuke

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Chapter 21

* * *

Harry was falling from a great height. Part of him was scared but another part of him seemed to think this was normal. He couldn't remember why or how, but this felt familiar and he thought he'd be okay.

He was approaching the ground at a rapid speed and Draco was down there looking up at him. Harry smiled and tried to wave. That was _his_ Draco down there; just waiting for Harry to fall into his arms. But Draco wasn't smiling and he didn't wave back.

He was crying. Crying? But that didn't make any sense—Draco _never_ cried. And yet he was. The shining wetness on his face couldn't be confused for anything else. His bottom lip was shivering and his eyebrows were drawn together in pain.

Harry waited patiently as he got closer and closer to the ground. He needed to know why his boyfriend was crying. He had to help him. But part of him knew, that he wouldn't be able to land. Whenever he got close to the ground he'd—

"Harry." Draco whispered, "Save me."

Harry wanted to tell him that he would help him. But the words seemed stuck in his throat. As he grabbed at his neck, trying to manually force the words out of his mouth, he watched Draco pull out his wand and start to walk.

Finally, Harry landed.

He couldn't really feel the ground as he walked but he didn't note that as weird. He simply followed Draco down the dark and empty corridor that he just now realized they were in. Harry looked around once. The hall seemed to stretch on forever in both directions. There were no lights anywhere, but there was an odd golden glow that lit the entire area. Where were they? They were at school, he could tell that much, but what part of the castle where they in.

Harry heard a familiar grinding sound and saw as the golden spiral staircase that led to Dumbledore's office was revealed. Draco went up the stairs. Harry wanted to follow but his feet felt heavy. He continued to try and move forward but he just couldn't seem to get there fast enough. It was like walking through quicksand but again, this didn't seem strange. It only frustrated him

"What's he doing?" Harry asked the empty corridor, not expecting an answer.

"—tying up loose ends." A voice said making Harry turn around. Harry looked around to find the source of the voice, but it seemed to be resonating straight from the masonry.

The voice continued, "We must tie up all loose ends, Severus. Every last one. Let there be no trail for them to follow when we attack. This time, victory will be succinct. I won't tolerate any hero dramatics from Potter."

_They're talking about me?_

But he couldn't concentrate on that much longer. Draco was coming back down the steps. His gait was heavy and slow, he still held his wand, but his head was bowed as he walked stiffly, and yet wobbly, towards Harry.

"Draco?" Harry asked, reaching out towards the pale boy.

Draco looked up at him as though he were surprised to see Harry here. Harry heard a faint dripping sound and saw that Draco's wand was dripping some dark substance onto the hard stone floor.

Drip, Drip, Drip.

"Draco, what's going on? Are you alright?" Harry asked.

Draco just continued to stare at Harry, his eyes dull. His face paler than usual and sunken, making Draco look much too old and sorrowful for Harry's liking. Draco took a small step forward and reached out towards Harry.

"Save me." He repeated.

"Tell me how." Harry said stepping closer until there was a mere two feet of space between them.

Draco stared up at him for a moment; his eyes blank and confused again. He opened his mouth to answer but a rush of blood spilled forth from his lips instead of words. The dark red rivulets spilling down his chin and chest.

Harry watched in horror as Draco's silvery eyes rolled up into his head and blood began to drip down his cheeks as crimson tears. Draco collapsed to the ground and Harry caught him, falling to his knees as he held Draco tight.

"Draco!" He called holding him in his lap as the blood continued to spill from the now unconscious boy, "Can you hear me? Tell me the truth! Tell me what's wrong!" Harry screamed down at the limp boy not sure if he was making sense anymore.

Harry gagged when a snake slithered out of Draco's now empty eye sockets and started to go into his mouth. Like the dark mark of the snake and the skull.

"Draco! No! Wake up, wake up!" Harry shouted down into his face.

"She can't hear you." A familiar voice said from behind him and Harry's head whipped around to see the person. The young Tom Riddle smirked at him.

"She belongs to me now." He said idly twirling a wand in his hands as he took a few steps forward. His foot steps echoed loudly and Harry realized they were in the Chamber of Secrets. Yet he was completely unfazed by the change of scenery.

"She?" Harry asked turning back to whom he expected to be Draco in his lap. He was shocked to see Ginny lying there now, bleeding the same way Draco had. Her red hair was fanned out across Harry's lap and the damp stone floor here.

As Harry looked at her, her eyes snapped open and Harry yelped, startled.

Tom Riddle laughed at him.

Ginny stared at him, her eyes bleeding profusely, "Save me." She said.

"Save me!"

"Save me!"

A chorus of his peers began to sing as they miraculously materialized around him. Ron and Hermione and Snape and Dumbledore and Ginny and Draco. The person lying in his lap disappeared.

"Save me! SAVE ME!" they screamed at him as they began to spin around him in circles so he could barely discern which was which.

Their pleas became louder and Tom Riddle continued to laugh, the sound beginning a merciless crescendo. The tension of the cacophonous sounds like two piano keys struck together; growing and swelling like the tide of a ruthless ocean. It was so loud! And it seemed to only grow louder until it completely filled Harry's mind.

"I cant!" Harry finally screamed in response, "I'm not strong enough. I can't save you all!"

"What good is a hero that can't save anyone." Tom Riddle's voice rang out.

"He's right. Die!" Draco yelled at him before grabbing the front of his robes and pushing him. Harry fell off of a cliff that he hadn't realized was there.

"NO! Wait! Draco!" Harry called out to him as he began falling, falling, falling down into the snake pit.

There were hundreds of basilisks there, writhing together and waiting to rip him apart in the fight for a piece of their next meal.

Harry closed his eyes from where Draco was looking down on him from the top of the cliff. He thought that this couldn't be real. But he wasn't waking up. He watched in horror as a basilisk lurched up and snatched him out of the air, its fang sinking deep into his skull.

Harry jolted awake and grabbed at his scar. It felt like a basilisk fang actually was piercing his head.

"Ah…fuck." he groaned as he held onto it his forehead, trying in vain to stop the agony that spawned from the mark.

He'd have to go see Draco. Draco would know how to help. Plus there was a knot of worry and terror still holding strong in his gut. What a horrible and ominous dream.

As soon as he stood from his bed and put on his shoes, the pain in his head started to fade. He grabbed his invisibility cloak and the Marauders map. He felt safe venturing out as long as he had these two things. By the time he reached the common room, the pain in his scar was all but miraculously gone. He sighed, grimacing and rubbing the spot on his forehead, wary of any lingering soreness. There was none.

"Harry?" A voice asked just as Harry was going towards the portrait hole.

"Oh." He said turning around, "Ginny? What're you doing up."

She smiled at him and rolled her eyes, "I could ask you the same thing."

Harry shrugged, "I had a bad dream so I was going to… take a walk. That's all." He explained before sitting down on the overstuffed couch next to her, "What about you?"

"The same actually. Sans the walk." She gave him a small smile before turning back to look at the fire, "I had a nightmare and couldn't sleep after. It was the strangest dream…" She trailed off looking into the flickering fire place.

"What was it about?" Harry asked as he relaxed into the couch. He was actually genuinely curious to know what her dream was about. It was times like this, times when it felt like Ginny was just his friend again, that he sincerely enjoyed her company.

She looked at him and then shook her head, "Nothing of consequence really. You? Anything strange happen in your dream?"

Harry laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head, "A basilisk bit my head off." He said skipping over the other, more disturbing parts of his nightmare.

"Ouch." She laughed.

"Yeah." He replied, "It was a really weird dream. But umm… I'm probably still gonna take that walk now." He said going to stand up but Ginny grabbed his arm and restrained him.

He sat down again slowly, starting to feel a little nervous. Was he acting like a cheating boyfriend? Could she tell he was going off to see another person?

"Are you okay, Harry?" She asked her voice as serious as her big brown eyes studied his face.

"Umm.. Yeah. Why do you ask?" Harry responded reminding himself in his head to stay calm.

She studied him a little longer before sighing and smiling, "I just have this really bad feeling."

Harry swallowed, "A-About what?"

She shook her head and let go of his arm, "Everything really. I mean… I sort of want us to work Harry. But I just feel like… well. Never mind. It doesn't matter."

"If this is about the sex thing… I really am sorry, you know." Harry whispered.

Ginny smiled at him halfheartedly, "I know you are. I already said it was okay a thousand times. You don't have to keep worrying about it."

Harry sighed and nodded before standing, Ginny didn't stop him this time, "Well…" He started slowly before bending to lightly kiss her cheek, "I'll see you later."

Ginny smiled at him and left a gentle kiss on his lips. Harry tried his best not to let any of his emotions show on his face as he headed for the portrait hole. He had just reached it when Ginny called out to him again.

"Harry, you know we'll always be friends. _No matter what_. Right?"

Harry smiled at her over his shoulder and nodded, "Yeah. I know."

Xx-XxX-xX

Harry followed the Marauders map deep into the labyrinth of tunnels and dungeons under the school. He knew where the Slytherin dorms were from the map but he didn't know how to get in. All he could do was go there and pray that either he found a way in, or someone else snuck out. They were Slytherins after all, they probably broke the rules all the time. But then again with a Head of House like Snape that might be difficult.

As Harry rounded the corner to what he thought was probably the entrance he saw a boy standing in front of a large green tapestry. He stopped and took one deep breath before walking closer to the boy standing there, hoping that he wouldn't be detected.

"I said the god damned password." Blaise said to the tapestry on which a silver snake was coiled.

Harry watched intrigued as the snake lifted its broad head and hissed at the boy, "The password has changed."

"I know okay. I fucking know it changes at midnight. But what am I supposed to do? Sleep out here?" Blaise replied angrily.

"The password has changed." The snake repeated before resting it's head on its coiled body again.

"Blaise?" Harry asked finally able to recognize the boy. He hadn't ever really known him that well. He'd only just seen him hanging around with Draco occasionally.

The dark haired boy jumped and turned to look at the empty space beside him, "Who's there?" he asked reaching out with his hand but grasping only the air.

Harry knew from Draco's ramblings that Blaise knew at least a little about him. Draco'd told Harry that the reason he'd discovered he wanted to be with Harry was because of what Blaise had said to him. Harry could only hope revealing his identity wouldn't backfire. But he needed to see Draco, and if Blaise, a sixth year Slytherin couldn't get in then Harry didn't have a snowflakes chance in hell.

And even if it turned out bad, he was pretty good at memory charms.

Harry sighed and pulled off his invisibility cloak making Blaise step back, startled.

"Potter?" he asked incredulously, "What in the hell are you—… You're here to see Draco aren't you?" he asked suspiciously.

Harry nodded, "Yeah. But it looks like getting into the Slytherin dorms is harder than I thought."

Blaise kicked at the tapestry, "Bloody thing just changes the password at odd intervals. But I guess it's my fault for sneaking out to a Ravenclaw."

Harry ignored that last bit of information as he stared at the tapestry; he even reached out to touch it. But the snake didn't so much as twitch, only its beady emerald eyes moved, watching them warily.

"Well…" Harry started, "Couldn't hurt to try parseltongue could it?"

Blaise stepped out of the way, "Be my guest."

Harry draped his invisibility cloak over his arm and stood in front of the silver snake. He cleared his throat concentrating on the snake before finally saying, "Serpent, please let me through."

The snake stared at him before rearing up, "You speak like Salazar."

Harry swallowed, "Please let me through." He repeated. He glanced over at Blaise to see that the boy was staring at him with wide dark eyes.

The snake paused a moment before he rested his head back on his coils and closed his eyes. Harry heard a soft grinding noise and was instantly reminded of his dream. He looked around, but there were no steps leading up to Dumbledore's office. Instead Blaise came to his side and slapped him a high-five.

"Fantastic, Potter. I guess Gryffindors are good for something after all." He said enthusiastically before a short, blond haired girl pushed the tapestry out of the way and walked out into the hall from an opening in the wall behind it. The bricks of the wall must've slid open much like the entrance to Diagon Alley.

"_Fantastic?_" Pansy asked, "Inside, both of you. Hurry up before you get caught." She said holding the tapestry out of the way and ushering them both inside.

"Oh… I guess she opened the door." Harry said bashfully as he walked into the Slytherin common room for the second time in his life.

He hardly remembered the place from the one time he'd infiltrated it back in second year; but it did look slightly similar. The fireplace roaring, the black couches and arm chairs and the plush green carpeting were all familiar. And yet completely foreign.

He was glad at least that it was nice and warm here. But it was rather loud. Even though no one was in the common room Harry could hear whispers. He couldn't really make it out except for the occasional word here or there but the whispers, even though quiet, continued. Harry's eyes flickered around a little. Maybe it was ghosts?

The bricks of the wall slid closed behind them and Blaise sighed, "This way Potter."

"Huh? Oh. Right." Harry said going to follow Blaise as he walked towards a door on the right. But Pansy put her hand on his chest and pushed him back.

"Let's get a few things straight here Potter. I'm still not convinced I trust you. You've been a right arse for the past few weeks." She said, her mouth set in a firm scowl.

Harry offered her a small smile, "Yeah. I know that. I already apologized to Draco."

Her blue eyes narrowed, "Still. Watch yourself. If you like all your…" She paused glancing down at his crotch, "_bits and pieces_ in the condition and location they are now, I suggest you don't ever hurt Draco ever again."

Harry swallowed. Maybe wandering down into the snake pit was a bad idea. He looked around nervously, not sure what to do next.

Seeing this, Blaise grabbed his arm and started to drag him off towards the ebony door, "Leave the poor guy alone, Pans. I'm sure you just wanna see Draco right?" Blaise said as led him through the door and down a long flight of the stairs.

Harry nodded, a little more than uncertain about all of this. How did Draco's friends know so much? How much had Draco told them? Even now, Harry could feel the thin scar across his palm. They had promised not to tell anyone. Draco wouldn't break that promise would he?

Finally, Blaise opened a door and pulled Harry inside. Harry looked around. It wasn't all that different from the Gryffindor boys' dorms. The main difference was color scheme, but Harry was getting used to green and silver. He no longer associated those colors with bad things. There were seven four-poster beds. But five of them had the curtains pulled. So only two had the curtains open. One of them was empty. And the other—

"Back from the Ravenclaw already?" Draco said without looking up. He was lying on his bed with a large book open and propped up slightly by one of his pillows.

Harry felt himself smiling reflexively and he didn't try to suppress it, even in Blaise's presence. He'd been longing for Draco all day but they couldn't meet in the tower room tonight because Draco wanted to study for a test they had in History of Magic tomorrow. Of course Harry actually spent very little time studying so he had had plenty of evening hours to lie awake and wish he had Draco in his arms. And even just looking at Draco lying there on his bed made familiar feelings start to grow in his low stomach. He wasn't wearing anything but a pair of silky black pajama bottoms. Harry licked his lips before he could stop himself.

"Yup." Blaise announced cheerfully, "And guess what, Drakie? I brought you a gift." Blaise said closing the door behind him and walking forward to his bed before sitting down.

Draco continued reading apparently making small notes in the margins, "If it's not chocolate I don't want it."

"You sure?" Blaise asked pulling off his shoes.

Harry felt awkward standing there with Draco unaware of him. He went to take a step forward but Blaise motioned for him to stay where he was. Harry sighed quietly but obeyed.

"Positive." Draco responded distractedly.

"Are you really, really sure?" Blaise asked again.

"Yes god damn it. Go to bed." He nearly yelled.

Blaise sighed dramatically, "Alright then Harry, I guess you'll have to leave."

Draco's head whipped around so fast Harry was concerned he might've hurt his neck. His eyes widened and for a moment he just lay there staring. Harry smiled and waved. But Draco's response was not so genial. He jumped up from his bed and marched straight over to Harry. Harry smile began to falter when he saw Draco's face was set into a firm frown. He grabbed Harry by the arm and pulled him very quickly over to the bed before forcefully sitting him down on it. Draco then grabbed the invisibility cloak from his hands before Harry could so much as make a sound of opposition, before throwing the cloak over him.

"Calm down, Drake he only wanted to see you." Blaise said.

Draco turned and glared at him, "You, shut up."

Draco turned back to Harry and his face didn't look very kind. It never occurred to Harry that maybe coming here would make Draco angry. He probably should have thought of that. But he could blame it on being sleepy. He sat still, knowing that Draco couldn't really see him now that he was invisible. But still it felt like Draco's eyes were drilling straight into him.

"What the hell were you thinking? Did anyone see you? Did anyone say your name out loud besides that idiot over there?" Draco asked his voice quiet and serious.

"No. Well uh…actually I think Pansy called me Po—"

"Don't say it." Draco interjected before sighing, "Do either of you know how fucking dangerous that was? Hopefully no one saw or heard anything." He said quietly.

"I'm sorry." Harry said. And he really meant it. He hadn't intended to make Draco unhappy. And he hadn't really thought that it would be dangerous coming here. It was still Hogwarts. It wasn't like Voldemort would be lurking around down here.

"You I forgive. You wouldn't have known. And at least you had your invisibility cloak." Draco said his face softening just a bit before he turned back to Blaise, unleashing the full fury of the Malfoy death glare.

"But _you_ should have known better. How could you even think—" Draco paused, sighing once more and lightly pinching the bridge of his nose, "I don't have the time or the will to lecture you. Just don't fucking talk to me for a few days or I might _accidentally_ hex you."

Harry expected that the other boy may be slightly upset by this but he seemed to have expected it. He smiled wide and reclined on his bed, "No problem, Drakie." He said before taking out his wand and magically closing his curtains.

"And don't fucking call me that." Draco retorted quickly but Blaise's curtains simply closed and left the two of them in relative privacy.

Draco glanced around once before reaching out and gently pushing Harry back onto his bed. He grabbed his wand off of his bedside table before climbing into the bed next to him and spelling his own curtains closed. Harry pushed himself up onto his elbows avoiding Draco's book, still open at the head of the bed.

"Did I really fuck up by coming here?" Harry asked quietly as Draco picked up the book and closed it before pushing it off the bed. It made a rather loud thump against the stone floor but Draco didn't look as though he particularly cared.

"No." Draco finally responded. It was dark but Harry's eyes were adjusting. He was kinda afraid to move from where Draco had pushed him back but as Draco pointed his wands at his curtains and started muttering spells he whispered, "You can take of that cloak now."

Harry nodded but then realized Draco couldn't see him. So he pulled off the cloak and haphazardly folded it before placing it under one of Draco's pillows. Draco sighed before lying down.

"Lumos." He whispered finally and the tip of his wand glowed bright silver, illuminating them both.

"I really am sorry." Harry said, "For stressing you out at least."

Draco smiled at him and Harry finally felt he could relax, "I already said I forgive you, okay. Just think before you do things. It really was dangerous for you to come here."

Harry decided it was now safe to ask, "Why is it dangerous? This is Hogwarts. Dark wizards can't get in here."

Draco sighed and moved to lay a little closer to Harry. Harry's arm instantly wound itself around Draco's waist. He felt Draco's body start to relax and it felt good to be next to him. Almost like magic, Harry felt completely perfect again. Even after a horrible dream and accidentally angering the man he knew he truly loved, a few seconds of just being close to Draco and all of that was healed.

"Well," Draco started slowly as he snuggled even closer to Harry, "All the snake decorations around here can talk. I'm sure you noticed."

That must have been all the whispering in the common room. Harry nodded, gently pulling Draco's body even closer until they were pressed firmly against each other. It wasn't arousing at this moment; instead it was comforting to feel Draco's warm body against him. Warm and alive with no blood or snakes coming from his face. Yes, this was very comforting.

"Well you know a lot of Death Eater's kids are Slytherins. The way the Dark Lord keeps tabs on things going on in the castle is by having one of the parents sending something with a snake decoration on it to one of the Slytherins. That way the snake on the gift or whatever can talk to all the snakes in here. Then the kid would send it back."

Harry swallowed wondering if that included the largest snake on the tapestry outside the entrance. He didn't tell Draco about that; it'd only worry him. He would tell him later…

Draco yawned, "So all someone has to do is talk about something in here and it can get back to the Dark Lord really easily. Luckily, most of the snake décor is in the common room. But stuff still gets around. None of us ever knows who has the gift. So don't come here again. It's really important that you don't." But even as he said those last words Draco held a little tighter onto Harry.

Harry nodded and gently kissed Draco's forehead and gently ran his fingers through Draco's silky smooth pale blond hair, "I won't make a habit out of it. I promise. I just… really needed to see you."

Draco lifted his head to make eye contact with Harry, "Why? Is something wrong?"

Harry smiled a little and shook his head, "Not anymore."

Draco rolled his eyes before putting the light at the end of his wand out and slipping it under his pillow. Harry blinked again at the darkness but his eyes were quicker at adjusting this time.

"I'm not gonna let it go, you know. I still want to know what bothered you enough to come all the way down here."

Harry laughed a little out of nervousness; only now realizing how silly his reason might look to Draco, "Yeah I just… had a bad dream." Harry mentally waited for Draco to tell him how stupid that was.

But he didn't. He only gently reached up and stroked Harry's cheek, "What was it about?"

Harry was a little shocked that Draco passed up such an obvious chance to make fun of him. But then again, they never really picked on each other anymore; not even for fun. When ever they were together, usually they were busy kissing but Harry hadn't realized how much they had really changed.

"Well uh…" he started slowly, trying to decided how much he should tell Draco, "I've been having this recurring dream of falling. It started when uh… we split up. I thought it would stop after we got back together but it didn't and tonight was completely different from any dream I'd had before. I think part of it was me slipping into Voldemort's mind again. And then the rest of it was just… really horrible."

"So you just wanted to see me to help you calm down?" Draco asked, obvious skepticism in his voice.

"Well no." Harry admitted bashfully, "I sorta wanted to make sure you were okay."

"So I'm guessing I got hurt in this dream."

"Sorta." Harry replied vaguely. He didn't really want to relive what he'd felt the moment when the blood started to pour from Draco's open mouth. At the brief memory of it he shivered in disgust and terror.

Draco squeezed him a little, "Hey, it's okay. I'm fine, see?"

Harry nodded, "Yeah. I can see that now."

Draco smiled at him, "I'm not happy that you had a nightmare. I know how horrible they can be sometimes but it's kinda cute that you came to check on me. At least, I'm happy that you did."

With that Harry leaned in and slowly pressed a warm kiss against Draco's lips. As soon as their lips connected it became difficult to let go. And the kiss became gradually deeper and deeper until Draco's tongue was slowly thrusting in and out of Harry's mouth. They were both moaning quietly and Harry's hands traveled a little lower along Draco's back until he could get a firm grip on his waist. And then he was pulling Draco's body firmly against his, feeling every plain of warm soft skin, even hidden behind pajamas. And Harry could feel Draco's hands softly sliding against him, gently groping and teasing.

Draco pulled away for a moment, "Wai—" he started but Harry pulled him back into the kiss, refusing to let it end so quickly.

He could feel Draco's soft whimpers as Harry's tongue began to retrace familiar paths in his mouth. He explored slowly, feeling everything; the roof of his mouth, the inside of his cheeks, his hot, wet tongue undulating against his own, and his wondrously soft lips. Draco's mouth was like heaven and all Harry wanted to do was kiss him forever.

He could feel Draco gently trying to pull away but he wouldn't let him. He wanted to kiss him so badly. To touch him and worship his amazing body from head to toe.

Draco smacked him in the head and their mouths popped apart easily. Harry backed away a little and rubbed the spot on his head where Draco had hit him.

"Ow…"

"Sorry but I was still trying to talk to you, you know. Not that I don't enjoy kissing but we promised only in the tower room." Draco reminded.

Harry sighed, "Damn, we did didn't we?"

He lay back feeling more than just a little put out. It was quiet for only a few long moments before finally Draco sighed dramatically and said, "Oh what the hell. I cast enough spells on these curtains that no one would know if there was a live Dragon in here. We can make tonight an exception."

Harry grinned wide and immediately went to try and kiss him again but Draco held his hands up, "After you tell me a few things." he finished.

Harry pouted, "Later?"

Draco's sighed, the beginnings of a frown pulling down on his lips. Harry reached up and gently stroked his cheek, "Please? I don't want to wait right now. We'll talk later…" he leaned in and lightly pecked Draco's lips, "Please…?"

"What in God's name possessed me to teach you how to manipulate people?"

Harry smiled knowing he had almost won. Just a little more…

"Please Draco." He continued letting his voice get lower and softer. He watched as the blond looked around a few times, obviously trying to avoid looking at the exaggerated puppy dog eyes Harry was giving him.

"Fine, fine. Talking later, sex now." Draco finally agreed and Harry mentally celebrated.

Harry felt a devilish grin working its way onto his face and he couldn't have stopped it if he tried. Though Harry still frequently had his dream of falling he had other dreams too. Dreams that involved Draco naked and in every sexual position imaginable.

"Harry." Draco started slowly, wary of that look that implied so many dirty things without a single word, "What're you thinking about?"

"Honestly? You sucking my cock with whipped cream on it." Harry answered candidly.

Harry didn't know how Draco would react to that but he didn't expect absolute silence. Harry felt his cheeks starting to get a little warm and he cleared he throat. Maybe he'd gone too far. Though it was true he'd had an ongoing fantasy of Draco giving him a blowjob that included whipped cream. He just loved the way Draco's eyes lit up when he ate something sweet. He couldn't get enough of watching Draco lick his lips slowly and smile when he had a particularly delicious bite of any dessert. And Harry couldn't imagine how amazing it would be to see that same delight and excitement filling Draco's eyes as he knelt before Harry.

Harry was on the verge of apologizing for being so open when Draco simply pounced on him, eagerly kissing his lips, "You're so amazing." He whispered before kissing down his neck.

Harry smiled and chuckled a little at Draco's enthusiasm as he extended his neck, giving Draco plenty to kiss. Harry closed his eyes and moaned softly as he felt Draco's hand sliding up under his shirt. He loved the feeling of Draco's warm skin against his. There was nothing better. Each time was like his every fantasy come true.

When Draco finally looked up at him again he just smiled at him. Harry was so disarmed by the warmth in the smile that he found himself smiling goofily back.

"Clothes off." Draco smiled.

"You too." Harry said as he pulled his shirt of his head and pushed his pajama pants down his legs.

"Mine can wait." Draco smiled at him before pulling his wand out from beneath his soft silver and green pillow.

As Harry kicked his bunched up pajama pants from his ankles Draco moved to kneel between his spread legs. Even now, Harry could feel the heavy warmth of what must be Draco's erection hidden behind his silky pajama bottoms. He bit his lip to keep from groaning. It had been so long since he'd had Draco inside of him. And he could feel his body reacting now that he was about to have the pleasure again.

Harry gasped quietly when Draco finally took hold of his erection. He closed his eyes, rocking his hips ever so gently as Draco slowly stroked him, squeezing tight. Even with his eyes now closed, Harry knew Draco was smirking. He could just feel it. Then he felt something strange.

Harry's eyes opened and he strained his neck to look upwards. Draco was looking right at him but his wand was pointed at Harry's cock. For a split second Harry took in the fact that Draco was smirking at him and his wand was pointed at his manhood and he was fearful. Years of bullying could do that to a person. But the look in Draco's gently sparkling silvery blue eyes was not malicious.

Harry saw the trail of white cream that the tip of Draco's wand had traced up the underside of his swollen member. It felt cold and slightly heavy and more than anything strange and arousing. Draco's only slightly evil smirk widened before he whispered a spell so low that Harry couldn't hear it past his hammering heartbeat. Draco carefully placed more of the cream up and down Harry's cock until it was entirely hidden.

Harry fidgeted a little feeling much too aroused to be comfortable anymore. He shifted a little more even the silk sheets feeling much too good as they rubbed against his hot skin. Draco reached down and grabbed his hip to still him.

"You want a cherry on top too?" he whispered with a smile.

Harry shook his head, "I can't…" he said hoping Draco would understand just how urgently aroused he was.

Draco only nodded and knelt down. The half smile, half smirk on his lips did not falter. Harry could not contain his moan as he felt Draco's tongue slide through the sweet cream and slowly reveal one long stripe of his hardened organ. Draco's tongue didn't pause, instead it continued tracing patterns across Harry's aching cock until most of the cream was gone. He had left only the throbbing head un-licked. Still his tongue skirted around the sensitive head, teasing him and making him groan loudly at the torture. Draco had that small smile of gratification on his face as finally, he used his lips to slowly suck the cream off of the leaking head. It was the same smile as when he ate chocolate or cake or any other dessert really and Harry felt strong jolts of ecstasy flowing up his spine at seeing that look on Draco's face now.

After what seemed eons of torture Harry felt Draco's lips slide down around his head as he was sucked up inside of the boys hot mouth. It was so wet there and tight when Draco hollowed out his cheeks around the intrusion; sucking hard and bobbing his head. Glancing up at Harry every so often his eyes telling Harry they were enjoying this act equally. It felt so good that Harry was reduced to a puddle. A puddle of aroused and sensitive flesh that Draco knew exactly how to manipulate, but a puddle nonetheless.

It just felt so perfect. Harry was overwhelmed by just how much pleasure was surging through every inch on his body. It was just perfect; everything was perfect. Draco's hands caressing the insides of his spread thighs or gently fondling his balls. Harry had never been a fan of green before tonight; there was no place else he'd rather be than in Draco's bed while they did this. It felt so intimate; this is where Draco slept every night. The pillows even smelled like him. His hot, wet mouth; with his tongue pressing firmly against the underside of Harry's cock. While his lips squeezed tight all the way down and then back up. It was getting to be too much. Everything was _too_ perfect. He wouldn't be able to last much longer.

"I can't take a lot more Draco." Harry gasped out and Draco looked up before gently pulling his mouth away; his hand ceasing its firm strokes on the now cream free and only slightly sticky base.

Draco pouted a little, a small line forming between his eyebrows, "Then I won't have time to go inside of you."

Harry started to apologize but honestly, he couldn't feel bad. It wasn't his fault that he was so close to coming already. It was Draco's fault. If that infuriatingly sexy blond hadn't been shirtless when he'd arrived. Or if he hadn't taken so damn long to cover his cock in cream. Or the way he had winked at him and smirked slightly as his tongue had taken so bloody long to travel up his cream coated length. They way his eyes could still glow a little, even in the dark, as he looked up at Harry from where his mouth was sinking lower and lower with each long suck.

Suddenly Draco's eyes lit up, "I've got an idea." He said smiling mischievously before crawling up Harry's body and quickly placing a warm kiss on his lips, "You still owe from that time in the bathroom you know."

Harry nodded, a new sort of pleasure filling him as he thought of being able to take Draco into his mouth. There were few things he liked more these days. Sometimes he would even crave the taste. And not just the taste, but the sounds. The sound of Draco moaning. The feeling of his hands raking through Harry's thick hair.

Harry was ready to agree to anything so he felt only excitement when Draco turned his body around so that his waist was by Harry's face while his head was still down at Harry's cock. Harry wasted no time in grabbing the top of Draco's pajama bottoms and pulling them down and off for him. Once Harry had successfully removed the clothing from Draco's long legs he smiled at the fully engorged length standing proud between Draco's legs.

He took hold of it in his hand and he heard Draco gasp. Already he was feeling pride swelling up inside of him. He loved that he could make what was once a cold and angry Slytherin gasp and blush and moan. Harry didn't wait, not only did he have a rather swollen and needy organ that was rushing him to bring them both to completion, but Draco had apparently really been getting off on sucking cream from Harry's cock because his own member was already beading moisture. Harry couldn't resist leaning in and licking it off. The responding low groan was enough to encourage him to do more than just taste.

Harry immediately sucked the head into his mouth making a low sound of pleasure in the back of his throat. He with one hand he squeezed the thick length before beginning to stroke with his tight fist. Draco was moaning loudly before it seemed he remembered why they were in this position. Harry groaned loudly into his mouthful of Draco as he felt warm lips envelop him again. He was at a weird angle to thrust his hips forward but he couldn't help trying. It just felt so perfect, he wanted to be deeper in that perfect heat.

Harry wasn't sure he liked this whole 69-ing thing. It was nice but there were things about it that he just didn't like. Firstly, the only sounds he heard, though the vibrations rocked straight through his body, were muffled and there were no hands in his hair. He couldn't look up and see Draco's face. And he couldn't concentrate on either act as much as he'd like to. He was trying to split what little use he had of his mind left between technique for his mouth and pleasure from his cock and he couldn't give all of his attention to either.

But of course there were things that he absolutely loved about this position that he wasn't sure he'd ever want to give up again. He was enjoying two of his favorite things for once, and even though his mind was totally overwhelmed and couldn't concentrate very well on either, it was all pleasureful. He was full of only ecstasy. And he loved the feeling of Draco moaning into him. He loved the feeling of the shivers in his muscles. And he loved that his hands were free to explore parts of Draco he'd previously been unable too. He let one of his hands travel back from where it'd been fondling Draco's heavy balls and he felt his way past the smooth skin to the wrinkled entrance he knew was hiding there.

Draco's entire body jolted but he gave no objection so Harry continued. As he relaxed his throat and tried to swallow a little more of Draco. He used the slickness of his saliva to lubricate his finger as he gently prodded the opening but he didn't push it in. He thought that would be going too far. But the fantasies he'd had of being inside of Draco's body were running rampant in his mind. Here it was, the place he wanted to plunge himself so badly that sometimes, it seemed nothing else would ever satisfy him.

Harry's limited mental facilities switched their attention back to where Draco was sucking at his cock with abandon and Harry felt he couldn't hold it a moment longer. He was simply so close and Draco's mouth was just _so_ good. And then Harry tasted a little more of what he knew was Draco's come. They were both close but Harry was trying to resist just a little longer to make sure he wasn't too early. It was torture but he held his orgasm as long as he could until finally the fire in his belly would not be ignored. He exploded deep into Draco's throat. He felt like he couldn't breath and he was moaning and gripping Draco's legs tight as his orgasm rocketed it's way out of his body.

He forgot to be prepared for Draco to come in his mouth and he nearly choked on the hot spray of semen that coated his throat. But he managed to get control of his body enough to swallow. He heard and felt when Draco's mouth popped off of his cock. The blond was breathing hard and still quietly moaning before finally, and with a tiny bit of sadness, Harry released Draco's softening member. He licked a bit at the head for any remnants of sticky fluid before he let go completely and lay back.

Draco struggled up to his hands and knees and righted himself in the bed, collapsing next to Harry and lightly kissing his lips. They smiled and chuckled weakly, each of them still unable to fully take in all that had happened in the past 45 minutes. Harry's entire body felt heavy and weak. He could hardly lift his hand to push the sweat dampened locks of blond hair from Draco's forehead.

Draco's smiled wide, "That was fun." He whispered, his voice sounding raspy from taking Harry so deep into his throat.

"It was interesting." Harry replied before clearing his throat, "Where did you learn to conjure whipped cream?"

"You kidding? That was one of the first spells I ever learned." Draco replied before snuggling into Harry's arms.

Harry kissed his forehead and help Draco tight against him. Their bodies just seemed to fit together, like two pieces of a puzzle.

"Do you mind if I sleep here?" Harry asked.

"'Course not. It'll be hard to sneak outta here tomorrow. But I want you to stay." He said with a yawn.

"You're tired. Sleep." Harry said.

Draco shook his head, "Can't. We still need to talk."

"We'll talk later. You still have that test tomorrow."

Draco groaned and squeezed Harry a little tighter, "Fuck…" he whispered, "Yeah, lets sleep."

Harry was beginning to feel more and more like a coherent person as he lay there, gently running his fingers through Draco's soft hair. It took less than five minutes for Draco to fall asleep and Harry could only smile. For as tough as Draco could act sometimes, it was times like these that Harry was reminded how cute he was.

Tonight, felt like a good night. Harry felt himself slowly slip down into sleep and for the first time in what felt like forever, he was not tormented by any dreams.

* * *

Please leave me a review! They are very special and they help me to find the will to update sooner!

Once again, sorry for the delay!


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

"Professor Lupin sir? You called me?" Harry asked as he entered the Werewolf's office.

Lupin smiled at him warmly, "That I did Harry, that I did. Come in then, come sit down."

Harry nodded and sat in the proffered chair. It was quite cozy in Lupin's office. There was so much work all around. Things pined to walls and things hanging from the ceiling. But with the warmth radiating from the hearth and Lupin's clutter free desk decorated now only with a few papers and many festive sweets, it still felt very open and warm. And more than anything, _familiar_.

Lupin sat on the other side of his desk smiling wide at Harry, "Care for a cupcake, Harry?"

Harry shook his head, "No thank you Professor I actually have to be going soon. I have to meet with… some friends."

"Ah well then let's make this brief. A few weeks ago some people from the order were out scouting Godric's Hollow. Looking for any clues or… signs. We unfortunately didn't find anything that may help us defeat You-Know-Who but what we did find…" Lupin trailed as he unlocked one of the drawers in his desk and pulled something out, "Was this. Go ahead, take it." He said to Harry offering out his hand.

Harry's brow furrowed but he reached out and took the gift anyway. It felt heavy and cold in his hand. When he examined it, it was a bracelet with a thick, swirling chain and a flat heart pendant hanging from the clasp. On one side of the heart was clearly engraved the letters: HP.

Harry stared at it and looked back up at Lupin questioningly.

"It was your mothers." Lupin stated hollowly as though he were trying to keep the emotion from his voice, "I remember when James got it for her, in fact. Back then, there was nothing engraved on the heart but… it was found broken and partially buried but still was only a little tarnished. I had it fixed for you and had your initials engraved in it."

Harry's eyes felt much too wet.

"I… I don't know what to say."

"A simple 'thank you' would suffice." Lupin laughed, "I consider it your property anyway. And it was the only thing I could think of to get you for Christmas."

Harry nodded and stared down at the bracelet. It was his mothers. He hardly had anything that was his family's—only a few fading pictures. But this was solid and he could carry it with him all the time. It would be a tie to his family, the family he truly never had.

Harry must have been deeply engrossed in his thoughts because the next thing he knew Lupin was touching his shoulder, a concerned look on his face. He hadn't even heard him get up…

"Is something wrong, Harry?" Lupin asked.

Harry shook his head and tried to wipe at his eyes inconspicuously. But he was sure the action didn't go unnoticed. Harry stood and pulled his professor into his arms. He just wasn't sure how else to properly thank the man.

Lupin hugged him back before pulling away and ruffling his hair, "Happy Christmas, Harry."

Harry smiled, "Happy Christmas, Remus."

Xx--XxX--xX

"Give him something thoughtful."

Draco looked up from his book in confusion, "What?"

Pansy plopped down next to him on the wide couch in the common room, "Get him something really thoughtful. Something that will last for a lifetime hopefully."

Draco frowned a bit at her. This was the first time she'd talked to him since they'd fought the other morning. But decided to take her advice anyway, "Something like what?"

"How about that necklace?"

Draco stared at her before reaching up and fingering the large oval locket, it had been his for as long as he could remember. The one and only gift that had every meant anything to him. He'd gotten it when he was still a toddler, from his mother. He hadn't worn it in years but since she'd died… he'd started wearing it again. It made him feel close to her.

"I don't know… he probably wouldn't every wear it. He doesn't seem like the jewelry type."

"Well you can always just get him something else. I mean there are _plenty_ of Christmases you'll be able to spend together." Pansy said sarcastically before sighing, "Whatever you get him Draco, make sure it's good. You might never get another chance like this."

Xx--XxX--xX

When Harry showed up to the tower room twenty minutes early he was shocked to see that Draco was already there, apparently setting something up. There were candles though there wasn't really a need for any. There was a table and Harry could already guess what was on it from the heavenly smell wafting through the air. And Draco's note had said to make sure he didn't go to dinner.

It was only 9 o'clock—the earliest of all their meetings. But it was winter break and almost everyone had their own plans for Christmas so Harry wasn't hassled very much. Still, to keep from arousing too many suspicions, he'd told Ginny and a few others that he was going to speak with Dumbledore.

Draco apparently still hadn't noticed his presence and continued to set things out on the table. Finally Harry smiled and cleared his throat making the blond boy jump and turn to look at him.

Harry laughed and Draco scowled, "Oh ha ha, Potter."

Harry chuckled a little longer before walking over and sitting his lumpy gift on the table, "It _was_ funny."

Draco rolled his eyes before motioning to the table, "Well Mr. Closet-Romantic, how's this for a happy Christmas?" has asked with his usually sarcasm. But Harry could hear the real need for approval underlying the words.

Harry smiled, "It's bloody brilliant, Draco. Thanks."

And the genuine smile that Draco gave lit up the room far more than the candles ever could. Harry was lost in staring at that smile for a long moment. It wasn't often that he saw Draco smile. Half smirks were common but true smiles like this, were a rare and special treasure.

As it was, Draco's smile quickly morphed into his normal cheeky smirk, "Staring again, Potter? Honestly one would think you'd never seen a man as gorgeous as me before." Draco said sitting in one of the chairs and offering the other to Harry.

Harry rolled his eyes and sat, not willing to say the words that had popped into his head.

**_I never _have_ seen a man as gorgeous as you._**

Instead of letting his thoughts go any further Harry concentrated on the spread Draco had arranged.

"I know it's not exactly Christmas-y food. If you'd like I can arrange for a more traditional meal." Draco said with feigned indifference as he looked out the window.

Harry shook his head, "It's all my favorite food Draco. How in hell did you-"

"I had a talk with a certain house elf. A certain one that you set free from my family…"

"Dobby." Harry said with a knowing grin, "Wait… Dobby? You know about him?"

Draco turned to look at him obviously outraged, "How in the hell wouldn't I? You expect me to know The Dark Lord's real name but not the name of my own house elf?"

"Sorry alright I just… it didn't dawn on me that if Dobby belonged to your father you must've met him too."

"Oh just shut up and eat." Draco finally snapped. Harry might've been worried he'd actually upset the blond except that Draco smirked happily as he took a sip of his butterbeer.

On his plate were all of Harry's favorite's mixed together. Thank goodness his favorites mixed well! He'd always liked pasta, with white sauce, as the red sauce was too sweet. And he'd always loved chicken, as long as it was grilled well so it wouldn't be dry. Mushrooms were mixed into the chicken and pasta as well along with one of Harry's other favorite. Unbeknownst to many and to Ron's absolute horror, Harry's other favorite was spinach. He had always loved it, and he was never sure why. As far as he was concerned, it just tasted good.

Harry took the first bite and was surprised at just how good it tasted. The school's food was never bad, but somehow this simply beat it all. Harry's eyes rolled back and he moaned as the creamy sauce and savory chicken traveled across his tongue. God it was perfect…

"Orgasm on a plate?" Draco asked amusement obvious in his voice.

"Fuck yes! This is great Draco, the best Christmas present ever."

Draco sighed, "Men. Appease their stomachs and they've got no problem bending over for you." He said dramatically making them both scoff, "And this isn't your present Harry. This is just dinner."

Harry blinked in surprise but nodded as he was unable to respond through his mouthful of food. He'd never really gotten very many presents before he came to Hogwarts. And even though since then, he'd been nearly showered in them, he still wasn't used to it. His old tendency of expecting nothing stayed with him.

Dinner was a mostly silent affair. Draco did most of the talking since he hardly touched his dinner. Whereas Harry took on a demeanor very similar to Ron's, shoving his face in the most efficient way possible. He even caught Draco grimacing a few times at Harry's obvious lack of table manners. It wasn't that Harry didn't know anything of manners, it was just that the food tasted too good to resist.

Soon Harry's plate was clear and he felt an odd sense of comfort stemming from his full stomach. He leaned back in his chair and sighed contentedly as he gently rubbed his belly. He wasn't used to being this full. Usually, he was either rushing through meals because he had homework to do for an upcoming class or he simply wasn't very hungry.

Draco smiled at him, "Satisfied?"

"More than you can guess."

"Good, time for dessert." With a flick of his wand, Draco made their plates disappear and new ones pop into existence.

On each plate was a rather generous slice of pecan pie and a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

Harry stared at his dessert with a frown. He didn't want to insult Draco, but he honestly didn't think he could eat another bite. He looked up at Draco to see that the boy was completely ignoring him and eagerly digging in. Draco moaned quietly at each bite of pie as though it was simply the best thing anyone could ever taste. Harry rolled his eyes.

"I didn't know you had a thing for nuts, Draco."

Draco nearly choked on his mouthful of pie in his laughter and Harry blushed uncontrollably at his tactlessness. What was that thing Hermione was always insisted he try? That's right, thinking before you speak!

Harry looked away in shame as Draco continued to laugh, "God Harry. I love how funny you are."

Harry laughed nervously along with Draco. His embarrassment over his words was suddenly overshadowed by a new feeling. Draco had just said the words 'I love you' in the same sentence. Sure there were other words that changed the meaning but nonetheless, it made Harry nervous. He fidgeted waiting for Draco to finish.

When finally Draco pushed away his plate and took a long drink of water Harry spoke, "Present time yet?"

Draco looked at him, "Impatient are we?"

Harry only shrugged and stood from the table to go to the window seat. He sat down on the warm cushions and sighed in happiness. Draco had really made this room feel like Christmas; without a single shining Christmas light or frilly bow, without a tree or any mistletoe. This place _felt_ like Christmas.

Draco came and sat next to him, "Who should give their present first?" Harry asked.

Draco cleared his throat, "Well since you're taking so bloody long." He joked before pulling out a small velvet box and putting it in Harry's hands. Harry stared at it and then up at Draco. He hoped Draco hadn't gotten him anything too expensive. Or anything girly… he maybe a romantic but a large diamond would definitely not be-

Harry stared at the large locket in the stain lined box. It was oval shaped and intricately decorated. And in the center, carved into the sparkling silver was the M. _The_ M that had been Draco's signature in every single one of his notes. Beautiful and swirling so gracefully it seemed to flow. Harry was instantly enamored by the gift. He would definitely wear it. He could only imagine how the smooth silver would feel against his skin.

"If you don't like it I-I can get you something else." Draco whispered.

Harry looked up at the boy in shock before he suddenly remembered that he was supposed to react to the gift, not just stare.

"It's great Draco. It's everything I could have ever hoped for and wanted this Christmas. It's just… amazing. Thank you."

Draco rolled his eyes but Harry grabbed his hand to convey his sincerity. He waited until Draco's eyes met his, "I mean it Draco. Thank you."

He watched Draco's pale skin tint pink before he took the necklace from its box carefully and fastened it around his neck. It didn't feel heavy but he could certainly feel it there. It felt perfect.

"I'm glad you like it. …It was my mother's you know; she gave it to me when I was little. But I never really wore it until well… "

Harry's smile dissipated quickly, "I can't take this Draco. If it was your mother's then-"

"I already gave it to you. It's yours now. And you're not allowed to refuse."

Harry's frown only deepened as he fingered the locket. It seemed much heavier now. As though all the memories associated with it were weighing on Harry's shoulders as well. He could distantly imagine all the pale Malfoy necks this necklace must have hung from. It felt different and slightly wrong against his tan skin. He wondered at everything this locket had seen, having once belonged to Narcissa and then Draco…

"So where's my gift?" Draco asked with only a fraction of the normal arrogance.

Harry paled and swallowed suddenly very doubtful that his gift was anywhere near good enough for Draco. Why hadn't he thought to get something better?

Harry wandlessly accio'd his present just like Dumbledore had been teaching him. Well, he hadn't taught him by using Christmas presents but wandless summoning was in the curriculum.

Harry held the lumpy package in his hands suddenly very embarrassed to have even gotten something like this.

Impatient with Harry's obvious reluctance Draco took the package from Harry's hands and set about opening it. As soon as the tearing sound of the paper stopped Harry buried his head in his hands to hide his shame.

"Wow…" Draco whispered.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think to get you anything else. I should have known you'd get me something amazing and I'd look like an idiot-"

"Harry." Draco cut him off, "This is one of the greatest presents I've ever gotten." He said holding up the dark green sweater with a silver D on the front.

Harry sighed, "You're just trying to make me feel better. I mean… no one ever likes getting just a sweater for Christmas. I kinda intended it as a joke… I didn't expect we'd be this close by now."

Draco looked at Harry confused, "What do you mean no one likes getting sweaters for Christmas?"

"Mrs. Weasley makes them every year. It's nothing special Draco. Just a sweater… just a damned sweater…"

"I beg to differ. Someone made this. You didn't go and buy it last minute. It's in my favorite colors… and I mean, you thought about it. Even just _that_ is a gift… lucky bastards the Weasleys are. If my mother had ever taken the time to _make_ something for me…"

"You really like it Draco?"

Draco nodded and hugged the sweater tight to his chest before taking of his robes and pulling the sweater over his shirt. They were both surprised to see how loose it was on him. It was just a bit too long and too big on his slender frame. Harry laughed and rubbed the back of his head.

"Mrs. Weasley didn't know your measurements so…" Harry chuckled nervously, not sure how Draco would feel about that.

Draco only smiled at him, "Even better, form fitting clothes are last season anyway." He said sarcastically.

Harry rolled his eyes and scooted closer to Draco along the window seat, "So… we've had dinner and we're finished with presents. So what else is there to do?"

"Finished with presents? If that what you thought? Well if you think we're finished then I guess I don't have to give you your second present…"

"Ah! That's not what I meant it's just that.. I thought that… I mean if you have more then-"

"Well…" Draco started before pulling out his wand and pointing it at the table easily transfiguring it into a bed. Harry glanced at it and then back at Draco.

"Umm…"

Draco smiled, "Merry Christmas, Harry."


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Harry smiled back at Draco. They hadn't really had sex since their fight and it would be the perfect Christmas present. After all, no one could make him feel as good as Draco made him feel. Harry's smile transformed into more of a smirk.

"Why'd you put your sweater on if you were only going to have to take it off."

Draco didn't laugh or say anything sarcastic in return. He only shook his head and looked away. Warning bells went off in Harry's head. Something was different. Usually Draco was overly eager, even forceful when it came to sex. Why did he seem so… nervous? He was even blushing. Harry had been casually scooting closer to the Slytherin all night but now he finally closed the distance between them. He reached out and touched Draco's hand in what he hoped was a comforting manor. Draco flinched at the touch but relaxed with a sigh.

"It's just that… I didn't want tonight to be like any of the other nights." Draco nearly whispered.

Harry bit his lip not sure how to respond. He wasn't sure at all how to act around this new Draco. He seemed too nervous. The Draco that Harry was used to was always confident, sometimes even overly so. This was strange and different, and yet not totally unlikable.

"I don't understand what you mean? You wanted it to be more special?"

Draco sighed in exasperation and shook his head again. He turned to Harry, his eyes flashing in familiar annoyance, "Do I have to spell it out for you?"

Harry couldn't even bring himself to be peeved at Draco's suddenly bad attitude. At least it was familiar, "I guess you do," Harry replied, "Because I really don't know what you mean."

Draco turned his entire body until he was facing Harry. His skin shone in the light of the moon like a lustrous pearl and Harry blinked. The shine was almost too much. And when Draco's eyes set in determination Harry had to glance away. They shone in an almost unnatural light. But they were so beautiful he couldn't keep his eyes away for more than a few moments. Draco stared at him before he took a very deep breath.

"I want you to fuck me."

It didn't seem to register for a few long seconds and Harry simply stared at Draco. He wasn't sure he'd heard him right. Could it be true? That Draco was giving Harry what he had wanted since he'd seen the boy naked that very first night?

"What'd you say?" Harry whispered knowing he had to ask to be sure.

Draco's face became more serious and Harry could see the familiar carnal glimmer in his already sparkling silvery blue eyes, "You heard me." Draco answered his voice low and sensual. He moved before Harry really even had a chance to realize what was happening.

Suddenly Draco was straddling his lap and kissing him. Harry couldn't resist the kiss. It was possibly the sweetest kiss he'd ever experienced. Draco had both of his arms around Harry's neck but his hands moved frequently from raking through his hair to gently caressing his cheek. Draco worked Harry's lips apart so tenderly and with such obvious love that he lost his breath. Draco's tongue slipped inside easily adding a new dimension to the heartfelt kiss. Harry felt like he was melting; Draco's tongue swirling and searching his mouth passionately. And yet the kiss was unhurried, slow and perfect. They took their time slowly showing what they couldn't say with words yet. But kisses somehow always conveyed emotions better than any words ever could. And Harry _felt_ what Draco wanted.

When their lips finally broke apart Harry kept his eyes closed afraid to break the magic of the moment. Draco rested his forehead against Harry's and he felt Draco's heaving breath mingling in the small space between their faces. When Harry finally let his eyes crack open his didn't regret it. Draco had his eyes closed, his lips parted and swollen. Half of his face glowed in the moonlight and the shadows that played across his pale skin made him that much more ethereally beautiful.

And in that moment, Harry felt they were the closest they'd been in a very long while. Not just physically, but emotionally too.

Draco didn't open his eyes but Harry watched as his swollen pink lips moved in a whisper.

"Fuck me."

The words were so powerful that Harry was shocked to silence for a moment. But as soon as Draco's eyes opened Harry was spurred into motion. He grabbed both sides of Draco's head roughly and kissed him in the same manner. He felt the vibration of Draco's groan against his lips and it encouraged him. Harry pulled them both to their feet quickly.

Harry broke the kiss almost violently before telling Draco firmly to undress. The blond stared at him for a moment, the lust still gracing his eyes before he nodded and obeyed. Harry disrobed as quickly as he could. He needed this. _They_ needed this. Harry wasn't sure whether he should take the locket off or not. In the end he decided to leave it on. He would never take it off. When Harry was finally fully naked, except for his newly attained locket, he was surprised at how aroused he already was. Without any physical stimulation already his body was prepared to take Draco.

At the thought of him, Harry looked back up to see Draco in a condition very similar to Harry's; his cock standing full and proud. His sweater was folded neatly and sat on the window seat while the rest of his clothes were scattered wildly at his feet. Harry smiled before pulling his lover back into his arms. The feeling of Draco naked in his arms sent his arousal sky high. He wouldn't be able to hold back.

He felt Draco give him a gentle push in the direction of the bed and Harry took the hint, leading them quickly to the soft bed. Draco fell on it first and Harry crawled over him kissing him firmly hoping to convey the urgency of his need. He felt Draco's hands shiver as they slid down his chest to grab his manhood. Harry moaned openly into the kiss as Draco pleasured him with firm strokes. As reward, Harry too reached down to take hold of Draco's swollen erection. Harry stroked him with easy leisure, spreading the tiny bit of wetness at the tip. As soon as he felt Draco's first thrust into his hand he knew they had to stop. He pulled away and tried to ignore Draco's whimper of disappointment that somehow struck his heart deeply.

"On your hands and knees, love." Harry whispered startling them both to silence. Since when did Harry refer to Draco as love?

Harry bit his lip waiting for the inevitable sarcastic comment that Draco would hurl at him. But instead Draco simply leaned up and kissed his lips again, biting almost violently at his bottom lip in his fervor before moving to get on his hands and knees.

If Harry hadn't had a throbbing erection that took most of his minds attention he might have sat there shocked forever. But instead, he moved so they were situated in the middle of the bed and knelt behind the shivering blond. He wondered briefly if it was cold but then realized Draco must be nervous. He asked him, just to make sure.

"Yeah… I'm nervous." Draco whispered in response. His voice was sincere and held not even the slightest sting of sarcasm. Harry was becoming more and more surprised by this new side of Draco. And he liked it…

Harry had never been the dominant person with Draco. And the relationships he'd had with girls never really turned out very well. So Harry felt like this was really the first time he'd get to be in charge during sex. He wanted to make Draco feel amazing, and he didn't want to make a fool of himself. It was a lot of pressure. But he didn't feel nervous. He was excited.

He was almost hurt that Draco was nervous. Didn't he know that Harry would never hurt him?

Well… not again. He would never really be able to forget how he had treated Draco for those dark weeks of loneliness.

**I'll never give him reason to distrust me again…**

Harry had his hands on each of Draco's firm buttocks. And he suddenly had an idea. He leaned over Draco kissing the back of his neck tenderly before whispering in his ear.

-There'sss no need to be nervousssss-

He felt Draco's back tense beneath him and he worried he'd made it worse until Draco relaxed again and let out a deep moan.

"Uuuugh. Fucking tease."

Harry laughed and felt Draco shiver.

"Don't fucking laugh when your voice still sounds like that."

Harry blinked, "Why not?"

"…I'll come."

Harry didn't laugh again, he only smiled a little and kissed the back of Draco neck once more. Harry moved back, the locket hanging from his neck skimming down Draco's spine making him shiver even more. Harry returned to his position of kneeling behind his lover who was positioned so enticingly. He spread Draco's cheeks carefully and nearly groaned aloud at the sight. It was the most erotic thing he'd ever witnessed. Draco spread wide for his taking, his skin pale and perfect without a single scar or blemish, the small puckered opening waiting for him. Perfect; and all his.

He knew before he even decided that he would give Draco the same pleasure Draco had given him. He leaned in and kissed the small wrinkled entrance feeling Draco jolt in response. When he became bold enough to trace the previously untouched entrance with his tongue he was rewarded with a heartfelt cry from Draco. Feeling more confident, Harry slowly, and with some difficulty, thrust his tongue inside. He'd expected a different taste, something at least slightly unpleasant. But Draco simply tasted clean and… amazing really. Like nothing else in the world. Harry was surprised at how much he actually liked this act. When he realized this, he became more enthusiastic licking the hole in tantalizing swirls before plunging into the tight heat. He groaned as Draco's entrance began to twitch as though trying to get more. Just knowing that soon he would be able to bury his cock here was disconcertingly arousing.

"God… oh God! Harry stop!" Draco cried out grabbing Harry's attention.

He pulled away and kissed the smooth skin of Draco's lower back once, "What is it, love?" He asked without thinking.

But Draco didn't comment on the new epithet, "Stop. I feel like I'm gonna come…"

"Geez, you're quick tonight, huh Draco?" Harry asked mockingly.

"Shut the fuck up." Draco snapped and Harry instantly sobered realizing the harshness of his words.

Draco had already admitted he was nervous and this was how Harry repaid him? Fuck… What happened to making sure Draco would trust him?

Harry crawled over to see Draco's face and was surprised to see his eyes shiny with tears he wouldn't let fall. Harry leaned in to kiss his lips.

"God I'm sorry Draco. I didn't mean that. You know I didn't" Harry muttered as he continued to kiss all over Draco's face.

Draco nodded and looked away.

"You… You wanna come once and I'll wait to take you for round two?"

Draco glanced up at him before nodding and lying down on the bed, turning over so Harry could see his arousal. When Harry saw his cock he understood. Draco's cock was twitching slightly and dripping more than he thought was possible without actually coming. Harry glanced up at Draco's face and saw that he was blushing red as a tomato.

"T-this never happens, okay? So I don't want to hear any of your snide comments."

"Draco I really didn't mean that. It's fine really. I'm actually kinda… well happy that I did this to you." Harry said as he moved down between Draco's legs. He took Draco's engorged manhood in his hand making Draco's muscles twitch. Harry spared another moment to smile at Draco before he took his cock into his mouth.

This also was one of Harry's favorite things to do to his cute little blond.

**My thoughts are getting weirder and weirder…**

Harry rather liked the taste of Draco's arousal. Even now he sucked with abandon, wiggling his tongue erotically around the head and making Draco moan aloud. With his hand, Harry worked Draco's shaft in firm slow strokes knowing that this would both excite and frustrate his lover. Draco grabbed at Harry's hair trying to thrust forward. And Harry, because he felt guilty from his comment earlier, released Draco's cock and allowed him to do so; relaxing his throat to avoid getting hurt. Draco's moans escalated in volume until finally with a few more harsh thrusts he released his seed. Harry swallowed greedily even licking the slit a few more times for the last remnants of the sticky fluid.

Draco slumped back onto the bed, his breath coming in ragged gasps.

Harry smiled and came up to lie beside him. Draco immediately turned and snuggled into Harry's chest. Surprised at the unusual show of affection, Harry was slow to put his arms around Draco.

"I'm sorry." Draco whispered.

"Sorry? Draco you don't have to be sorry."

Draco only shrugged and then laid on his back again; away from Harry, "Gimme a few minutes and then we can continue."

Harry nodded and lay back. He tried with all his might to ignore his aching erection but he simply couldn't. After only a few minutes he reached down and began slowly stroking himself biting his lip in frustration.

"You can come too if you'd like?" Draco offered.

Harry shook his head, "I want to come inside you." he asserted.

Draco nodded and after a few more moments sat up and moved to get on his hands and knees again.

He winked at Harry, "Ready?"

"God yes!" Harry nearly shouted scrambling to move behind Draco again.

He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths trying to both calm down and bring back the hot intimacy of before. He spread Draco's cheeks and felt some slight motion. When he looked down he saw that Draco was stoking himself into hardness again. Harry was impressed with his stamina but was not distracted.

Harry let his hands travel up the crease of Draco's arse slowly, easily zeroing in on that wrinkled pucker. He whispered the lubrication charm drawing a low chuckle from Draco.

"Of all the useful spells to learn wandlessly…."

Harry mock glared, "Say one more word that's not a plea for more and I'll have to start speaking Parseltongue again."

"But-"

"I mean it, Draco. One more word."

Harry was careful, coaxing the taut ring of muscles open with one finger. He swallowed hard at the feeling of Draco's tight hole pulsing and sucking his finger in deeper. He pushed his finger in and out for a while enjoying the way it looked, his digit disappearing past the pink ring. After only a few more seconds Harry pushed in his second finger and heard Draco's gasp of pain. He leaned forward to kiss the back of his neck and shoulders again hoping this would ease the pain.

"Harry." Draco said, his voice strained.

"Yes?"

"One more word."

Harry smiled and took the hint leaning a little farther to whisper, -It'sss okay love. It will feel better sssssooon-

Draco gasped and Harry smiled licking the shell of his ear.

-That'sss it, love. Relaxxx.-

Even though Draco couldn't possibly understand Harry's words he seemed to get the gist. When Harry felt the hole relax and loosen a bit he thrust in a third finger actually drawing a cry from the blond.

-It'ssss okay. Almossst there, love.- Harry was finding that he really did like calling Draco 'love'.

Draco moaned and pushed back against Harry's hand causing his entrance to open around the intruding appendages enticingly. Harry gave a quiet moan of his own before pulling his fingers out. For a moment, he considered how he would take Draco before finally, he pushed the blond down on the bed and rolled him onto his back.

Harry wanted to tell him to hold his legs up, but they were too far gone for words now. He simply pushed his thighs up in the air and Draco instinctually held them there. Harry leaned over him lifting his hips a bit to find his goal. He looked at the twitching pink entrance the anticipation in his stomach now growing beyond his control. Harry pushed in slowly, thrusting only in small bursts to try and bury himself farther inside of Draco's prone body.

At Draco's first cry Harry stopped, gritting his teeth with the effort it took to do so. But he didn't want to hurt Draco. No matter what, he wouldn't hurt him.

"Don't… stop…" Draco whispered airily and Harry exhaled in relief.

Harry's could feel Draco's entrance slowly loosening, allowing more and more of Harry inside. He tried to concentrate only on working his way in, because if he let his mind focus on the pleasure aspect he might just plow right through the tender, stubborn flesh. It seemed to take forever, each thick inch of Harry slowly disappearing into that darkened pink rim. But as he reached the final inches he simply slid home as though there was nothing more natural.

Draco cried out again and he clung to Harry's shoulders. Harry was overtaken by the sensation of his cock being grasped by such a tight, wet, heat. He heard someone give a satisfied moan and was surprised to realize it was him. He thrust in slowly, savoring the pull of Draco's taut muscles. It was perfect, just bloody perfect.

Harry's thrusts never became wild or erratic, even though the pleasure was mounting. Harry continued to plow inside Draco's tender inner sanctum with long firm thrusts ensuring that Draco felt every inch. Despite the slow pace, Harry's heart was hammering away in his chest. He could barely hear anything over the sound of rushing blood behind his ears. But one of Draco's pleas did manage to break through.

"Faster, Harry. Please!"

Harry obliged readily, knowing that Draco was finally ready for more. He pulled out nearly all the way marveling as the hole still held him firmly, before he thrust back in quickly causing Draco to moan loudly. Harry had hardly ever heard Draco vocalize his pleasure. Each delicious moan he managed to draw forth from Draco's mouth was a little victory for Harry. And so he continued, picking up the pace even more as he thrust into Draco's tight body.

With each thrust Harry felt his locket swinging back and forth between their chests. It was slightly disconcerting but he wasn't going to take it off. Not now. He felt the sweat dripping from his brow but he couldn't bring himself to wipe it away. His hands were too busy for any of that anyway. He was touching Draco, worshipping this beautiful body that had been offered up to him.

Draco pushed himself farther up on his elbows and reached up with one hand to gently caress Harry's cheek. Seeing his lover's desire, Harry bent down further, ignoring his aching muscles, and kissing Draco fully on the lips. Harry couldn't concentrate very well on the kiss, what with Draco pulsing around him and seemingly trying to suck his cock in even farther. But it didn't matter, just feeling of their lips pressed together was enough to rocket the pleasure level into another dimension. It wasn't just sex anymore. It was something else, something deeper, and yet something so elusive Harry didn't know what it was. And yet it rushed over him, it flooded his mind and he moaned aloud.

The sex was great, but it was only the physical manifestation of whatever it was between them that Harry couldn't find a name for. Whatever it was, it made every sensation ten times more powerful.

Draco was groaning and writhing beneath him, his face flushed, his skin shinny with perspiration. Harry had never seen a more beautiful sight.

The heat never leveled out as it usually did. Somehow, it continued to crescendo until Harry was groaning under the sheer pressure of it all. It was too much for his body to take. And yet he continued, forcing more of the torturous pleasure upon himself, and loving every minute.

He glanced down to see Draco quickly fisting his erection. Harry knew just from the firm rapid strokes that Draco wasn't far from his completion. And upon realizing this Harry allowed himself to let go. To let the heat build even farther until it reached the peak.

Draco was so tight and wet and perfect, gripping him the way a mouth or hand never could. Harry's thrusts finally became more forceful as they neared their end; their skin slapping together loudly at each connection.

"God… Harry!" Draco cried out and Harry simply bent to kiss him again effectively silencing him.

Harry's hands traveled wildly across Draco's skin, groping almost harshly as he pleasured him. And Draco was groaning into Harry's lips, thrusting up and trying unsuccessfully to get more of Harry inside of him.

Harry felt his orgasm begin to swell in his stomach and he broke their kiss once more with a sob of both ecstasy and disappointment that he was nearing his end. He was coming… he was going to come inside of Draco.

The heat flared to new heights scorching every nerve Harry possessed. He felt the telltale burn in his lower stomach and he knew it was coming.

Very suddenly, Draco announced his end with a heart wrenching scream of pleasure. Harry hadn't remembered to be prepared for the way Draco's already tight inner walls slammed down, gripping him with such force that he couldn't hold on a moment longer.

Harry's orgasm barreled through him making him throw his head back and scream out his exquisite completion. The ripples of pleasure seemed unending. His mind and his body seemed to detach from each other and yet he could still feel both. He felt both lightheaded, and heavy. And then slowly, his atoms seemed to organize themselves again and his body became whole once more. Soft groans were still escaping his raw throat as he thrust a few more times into Draco's wet lightly shuddering hole.

Finally Harry pulled out and collapsed unable to hold himself up. He looked over at Draco to see that his eyes were still wide, his pupils still dilated in pleasure.

"Draco, love." Harry whispered though his voice sounded rough.

Draco's silvery eyes slowly turned to him and Harry smiled as best he could. It was only then that he realized he didn't have anything to say. He paused for a moment trying to come up with something.

"…Does that count as my second gift to you, as well?"

Draco gave a pathetic attempt at laughter but he was obviously too exhausted to do much more at the moment.

It seemed an eternity that they lay there staring up at the crisscrossing rafters. The only sounds being their heaving breath and laboring hearts. But Harry didn't mind the eternity of it. In fact, if he had a choice as to how he would spend the rest of eternity, this was about as close to perfect as it could get.

___________________

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	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Eventually, Draco, as usual, sat up. Harry groaned awaiting the command for him to get his lazy arse up. But instead, Draco moved towards him on the bed and lay down again.

Pleasantly surprised, Harry pulled Draco into his arms, relishing in the warmth of holding another person.

"Think we could get under the covers? It's pretty cold." Draco whispered and Harry smiled and quickly obliged. He didn't mind moving if it was to make Draco more comfortable. After pulling the blankets over both of their naked forms, Harry relaxed next to Draco again.

He suddenly didn't feel so tired, but he didn't want to leave, he didn't want to move. He wanted to stay here like this forever.

Harry slowly played with Draco's soft hair smiling privately to himself. He'd made a comment back when they'd very first started meeting that he'd never liked seeing Draco gel his hair back. And since then, Draco hadn't done it once. His baby soft hair was always hanging down in front of his eyes just the way Harry liked.

"What's that?" Draco asked and Harry stilled looking at where he was pointing.

"Oh, this?" he said holding his wrist, "It's a bracelet. Remus gave it to me for Christmas."

Draco nodded, "It's pretty."

"Yeah it is. It was my mother's."

Draco's eyes carefully examined his face before he reached out to Harry's wrist, "Can I see?"

Harry sighed and nodded slowly holding out his hand. Draco examined the bracelet slowly, slowly turning the flat heart pendant in the light so that Harry's initials could be seen.

After a moment he let Harry's wrist drop, "It really is very nice."

Harry nodded. He knew what he should do. But part of him really didn't want to. Part of him was still selfish and wasn't ready to give everything to another person. But he knew what he should do.

Without saying anything, Harry unclasped the bracelet from his wrist. Draco looked up at him confused before recognition flashed across his eyes.

"No Harry. I can't take that. It was your mother's for Merlin's sake."

Harry grabbed Draco's hand almost forcefully and clasped the bracelet on.

"It's yours, Draco. You're not allowed to refuse."

Draco sputtered indignantly for a moment at having his own words used against him before finally he conceded and flopped back against the pillows. Harry offered him a smile and Draco grudgingly returned it.

"You really shouldn't have."

"Yeah, yeah…" Harry said waving off Draco's seriousness.

Harry wandlessly summoned his wand and cast a tempus charm. It was a little after midnight. Dumbledore would have never kept him this long. His friends would start to wonder.

"We've got to go." Harry whispered and Draco pouted.

"I don't want to."

Harry rolled his eyes and leaned over to lightly kiss Draco's lips, "Come on, we'll see each other again tomorrow."

Draco sighed dramatically and slowly pulled himself off the bed. Harry was turned away, stretching, when Draco cried out. Harry whipped around quickly.

"What? What is it?"

Draco was clinging to the headboard of the bed and stared at him with wide eyes, "I can't fucking walk!"

Harry really tried to suppress his laughter, but he simply couldn't.

"It's not fucking funny!" Draco shouted, his cheeks pink with embarrassment.

Harry quickly stood, forgetting his nudity, and walked around to Draco's side of the bed, "I'm sorry Draco but it is a tiny bit funny. Come on, it's not that bad." He said wrapping his arm around Draco's slim waist to help him get his bearings again.

Draco draped his arm over Harry's shoulders as he relearned to walk. Draco was still muttering angrily and Harry was still snickering. But there was no real hate between them. And Harry doubted there ever would be again.

"Is this what I've been doing to you all this time?" Draco asked as he slowly let go of Harry to stand on his own.

"Pretty much, yeah." Harry replied handing Draco his trousers.

Draco dressed slowly, leaning against the wall for support, "Now I can understand why you never want to get up afterwards."

Harry only rolled his eyes again and started to get dressed as well. It really was never that bad but he only felt even happier that he was able to affect Draco that way.

When Harry was fully dressed, he turned to see Draco still struggling with putting on his clothes while his muscles were in such a weakened state. Harry didn't offer to help, he knew Draco would only push him away. Instead he smiled as he watched. With his every movement the bracelet made a soft tinkling noise that Harry was only now aware of.

There was the petulant child part of him that was still throwing a tantrum at having given away such a valuable heirloom. But as Harry reached up and touched the locket he knew it must've been the same for Draco. Draco had given him something irreplaceable. It wasn't just the object, it was the intent behind it. Harry could only guess how hard it was for Draco to give this locket to him. He was giving a part of his past, a part of his love, a part of his life away. To someone else who could easily end up refusing him. Someone who had already hurt him…

Harry bit his lip. Draco deserved that bracelet. Harry forced the selfish part of his mind into silence with that thought.

As Draco pulled his jumper on again he turned and looked at Harry.

"You never get tired of staring do you?"

Harry smiled and walked towards him, "No, not ever."

Xx--XxX--xX

"Here Harry." Hermione said handing him another present from under the tree in the common room, "This one is for you too."

Harry sighed and took it, "I told you all not to wait up for me." he managed through a barely concealed yawn.

Ron only laughed and clapped him on the back, "It's not Christmas without you here, mate."

Harry gave him a half hearted smile before opening the gift.

"More chocolates?" Hermione said with a tone of disgust, "Do they all think you're stupid enough to eat them? Who knows what sort of spells and potions could have been planted in them."

Harry sighed and threw the box of chocolates into the growing pile of all sorts of candies he'd received. Hermione was right though, it wouldn't be safe to eat them. But even if it were, Harry had never had a penchant for sweets. It only proved that his admirers really didn't know anything about him.

Hermione handed him another present without a word. When their hands touched lightly, she snatched hers away. And blushed brightly before going back to the gifts and announcing there was one for Lee rather loudly.

Hermione had been acting strange for a while. He didn't really have to wonder why. Ever since she'd gotten quite an eyeful of him and Draco going at it in the boys bathroom, she hadn't been able to so much as say his name without blushing. He'd tried to apologize a thousand times but she'd simply told him it was no big deal, boys his age did those kinds of things and that they should drop the subject. It was getting a little better. At least she was still able to scold him without looking to embarrassed. But still every time she looked at him he had this sinking feeling in his stomach that she was picturing him with Draco's cock a few inches from his wide open mouth.

Harry was already frowning hard at that thought when Ginny came bouncing up from behind the couch quickly and plopped herself firmly in his lap.

"Thank you _so_ much for my present Harry. You knew _exactly_ what I wanted." She said leaning in to kiss his lips softly.

"Right. Umm.. yeah you're welcome." Harry replied.

Honestly, he hadn't bought Ginny anything. He hadn't even paid attention to the hints she'd dropped about what she wanted. But a few days ago, as he realized he hadn't gotten anything for her, he talked to Hermione and she helped him to get a present. Though she made it clear that it wasn't because she was trying to help him, but because she felt Ginny didn't deserve to be hurt.

"And I've got your present." Ginny said pulling something from her pocket. She held up a gold chain with a small golden heart hanging from it. There was a keyhole in the center of it.

"See? You'll wear this one and I'll wear the one with key. So I've got the key to your heart. Isn't that cute?"

Harry nodded and forced a smile, "Yeah it's very… cute."

"Here, put it on now." She said reaching for his neck.

"Wait Ginny. That's not such a good id-"

But it was too late, she had already moved his shirt collar out of the way and seen the shining silver chain.

"What's this? I didn't know you already wore a necklace Harry." She said confused, "Here, take it off."

Harry stilled. He couldn't even force a smile for her this time. But he couldn't think of a valid reason not to take the chain of either.

"No, Ginny." He answered simply hoping it would stop there.

Ginny only rolled her eyes and reached for the clasp but Harry grabbed both of her wrists and held them tightly, "I said no, Ginny."

Her eyes narrowed before she weaseled one of her hand from his grasp and pulled the necklace out of his shirt revealing the large oval locket.

"M?" she asked, "What's M stand for?"

Hermione's head popped up from where she'd gone back to passing out more gifts around the common room.

"Ginny darling, he'll wear your necklace tomorrow. _Won't_ you Harry?" Hermione said her voice sugar sweet until she addressed Harry. At which time she sounded more like she was telling, not asking.

Harry's jaw set but he nodded dutifully.

Ginny stood up putting her hands on her hips, "I'm not so concerned with him wearing my necklace as I am with him refusing to take that one off. What does _M_ stand for Harry?"

Harry was silent and looked away. What was he supposed to do? Lie? But he couldn't think of anything.

"Hm? Hm?! Well what is it Harry? I'm getting impatient. Don't tell me it's another girl."

"Gin, calm down." Ron said.

"I will NOT calm down. I want to know who this M is and Harry is not telling."

By now everyone in the common room was watching the scene with bated breath, and a few of those who had already gone to sleep were wandering back down the stairs, afraid to miss the drama.

"It's none of your business Ginny." Harry answered only because he couldn't think of anything else. Unfortunately, that was the wrong thing to say.

Harry watched as the fire of anger flared in her brown eyes. He was really in for it now.

"None of my business!" She asked shocked, "Everything you do is my business. You know you've been acting worse and worse recently. What's all this about Harry? Just tell me. I'm your _girlfriend_, after all."

Finally, Harry had had enough of this. He was done with putting up with Ginny's jealous bouts. He was done with holding up this charade. He was done with all of it. He stood up angrily and Ginny instinctively backed away.

"And what if I don't want you to be my girlfriend anymore."

The entirety of the common room gave a collective gasp and Harry bit his lip, finally remembering where he was. For a moment, he'd forgotten that this wasn't exactly something that should be done in front of all of their house mates. He watched as Ginny's soft brown eyes became glassy with tears and he instantly felt remorse for what he'd said.

"Ginny…" he started slowly, "How about we go somewhere else to talk about this…"

She stared at him blankly for a moment before she slowly started to shake her head, "No… No you wanted to air this all out here, so here is where we're going to do it."

Ginny's anger returned full force and Harry staggered back from just the look on her face. After all, she was Mrs. Weasley's daughter. She would have some of the same terrifying qualities. Such as that one look that could make even the twins stop fooling around.

"Well!" Ginny started getting everyone's attention, "Just so you all know, Harry isn't breaking up with me. He can't. Because I'm breaking up with _him!_"

Harry didn't know what to say or do so he just stood there. He wondered how far she would go with this. She was obviously hurt and that could cause irrationality.

"And just so you all know why, I'll say it." Ginny said with a malicious gleam in her eye, "I'm breaking up with you because you're a stupid bastard. You don't pay attention and! You, Harry Potter, when it comes right down to it, can't deliver."

Harry paled when he realized what she was talking about. She wasn't going to actually say it was she?

"That's right." She continued, "Harry Potter, can't get it up." She said causing a roar of whispers and giggles to start up amongst the rest of the students.

"We tried to have sex once," Ginny continued, and even through the tears sliding silently down her cheeks, her face simply glowed in what she thought was victory, "And Harry… well Harry's just not the _man_ you all thought he was."

Feeling the weight of his embarrassment Harry stood still with his head bowed. He'd never had to deal with anything like this before. It was one thing for everyone to think he was stupid, or a glory seeker, or a Dumbledore follower. But entirely another for everyone to think he was sexually inadequate. Mostly because, what Ginny had said was true.

"So then, Harry. It was fun, but it's over." Ginny finished, tossing her hair over her shoulder with a quiet sniffle and making to walk to the girls' dorm.

"Wait." Harry called after her.

"For what?" she said turning quickly as though she'd been prepared for it, "You want to apologize now?"

Harry's glare hardened, if she could dish it out, then she could take it too.

"You were way off about the necklace thing. I just got this from a friend. But I _was_ cheating on you Ginny." Another round of gasps and whispers, "The reason I couldn't get it up had nothing to do with what you think. It's not that I can't get it up at all, just not with _you_. If you were even a fraction as beautiful as the other person I'm with, we wouldn't have had that problem."

The look of abject horror on Ginny's face was strangely satisfying. Half of Harry took great pleasure in hurting her. In seeing her heart breaking in slow motion. But the rest of him was whispering that he should think clearly and not hurt her any further. But those whispers were hard to hear over the roar of embarrassment and rage.

"Not only that, but you've been so insufferable that you've completely turned me off of women. I cheated on you with a _boy,_ Ginny."

The loudest gasps and whispers started up at that. And Harry simply ignored the tears streaming down Ginny's face.

"So thanks for breaking up with me. I was trying to find a way to do it but you took care of it for me."

With that Ginny bolted from the common room. Harry watched her run up the stairs to the girls' dorm with only a very small amount of remorse. She had tried to embarrass and hurt him. And he had only returned the favor.

Hermione ran up as though to follow Ginny but she stopped as she reached the stairs and turned to look at Harry. It was obvious she was angry. And her mouth opened as though to say something. Harry's anger quickly gave way to fear. If she said anything about Draco… she'd be signing his death certificate. He hoped Hermione knew that.

Hermione stilled and everyone sat waiting for her to say whatever it was that she had stopped for. But she didn't. She simply sighed and glared at Harry for a moment longer before turning and going up the stairs.

Harry exhaled slowly. He really needed to learn to think before he spoke. How did his emotions control him so completely? And now that everything was said and done, Harry stood in a room full of his housemates. And he'd just announced he was gay. God, how could he get himself out of this one?

He turned to see that Ron was also on his feet. Harry winced when he thought of the ear bashing he was about to receive. Ginny was Ron's little sister and Harry had just spectacularly shattered her heart in front of an audience. It was only expected that Ron would be angry.

But instead of yelling Ron simply grabbed Harry's elbow and yanked him out the Portrait hole.

As they left Ron turned to yell back at the room of spectators, "Get your arse's in bed you nosy wankers!"

After the portrait closed behind him Ron sighed and looked at Harry. Harry looked away, ashamed to see the anger on Ron's face

"Are you an idiot?"

Harry laughed a little but there really was no humor in the situation, "Yeah, I think so…" he answered quietly as his anger ebbed away.

"God Ginny's going to be crying her eyes out for days, mate. That was a really, really stupid thing to do. Even for you."

"Yeah… I didn't mean for it to happen that way. Honestly I was trying to wait 'til after Christmas so that I wouldn't hurt her too much but-"

"Ginny's tough though. She'll make it through this. And she'll find someone better for her." Ron continued, more to himself than to Harry.

Harry nodded a little surprised at how calm Ron was acting. He'd expected more… well yelling and punches and stuff. But Ron was actually talking to him like a mature adult. It was disconcerting if not a little… weird.

"What I really want to know about is… You cheated on her with a bloke?"

Harry felt the heat rush up to his face, "Well… yeah."

Ron sighed and looked away for a moment, "So you're gay?"

"Yeah... I mean. I think so."

Ron rolled his eyes, "It's not a 'think so' kind of thing. Either you are or you're not."

"…I am."

Ron sighed again, "I figured. Why the hell would you go out with Ginny then?"

"Wait you _figured_. You figured what? That I was gay?"

"Harry I'm your best mate. I've been around you nearly all the bloody time for the past six years. You think I didn't notice when you'd stare too long at posters of male Quidditch players but not even glance at a single bit of porn?"

Harry flushed and even brighter shade of red, "I… I didn't know it was obvious. I mean I didn't even think I was gay until… well this year. When stuff happened and-"

"Stop right there." Ron said quickly putting up his hands, "I don't really want any gory details alright? As long as you don't have a crush on me I couldn't give a damn whether you homosexual or asexual or trisexual or any other kind of sexual there is out there."

Harry smiled a little. There was a reason Ron was still his best friend after all these years. As stubborn and silly of a git he could be sometimes he as endlessly loyal. And in the end he would look over any of Harry's faults. Just as Harry always looked over his.

Ron paled a little and bit his lip at Harry's silence, "You don't have a crush on me… do you?" he whispered.

"What?! No! No way. You're… you're definitely not my type."

They both chuckled a little at that, "I might've found that insulting if it wasn't the exact answer I was hoping to hear."

It was quiet for a moment before Ron looked back at the portrait, "You think it's safe to go back in there yet?"

Harry grimaced, "For you maybe. But I won't be able to set foot in there for at least another day or so."

"Sucks for you, mate. It your own bloody fault though."

"Yeah yeah… I guess I'll go sleep in the… Room of Requirement." Harry said carefully. He'd almost let it slip that he was going to the tower room.

Ron nodded, "Sounds good then." He said moving back to go into the common room.

"And Ron," Harry called to make him stop.

Ron turned back to look at him and waited for whatever Harry had to say.

"I know it won't really help but…Tell Ginny I'm sorry… please?"

Ron offered him a small smile before nodding, "Will do, mate."

* * *

please leave me a review. I'm not sure this chapter is very good.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Harry stole quietly down the halls. He didn't have his invisibility cloak but he did have the Mauraders map so he felt generally safe. Filch was patrolling near the Hufflepuff dorms and Mrs. Norris was walking around the library. Harry was _generally_ safe where he was. But he'd never feel fully safe here.

He was venturing down into the snake pit.

He had to follow his map closely as the deeper he got into the dungeons the more unfamiliar everything became. The farthest he'd every traveled down here was to Snape's office for detention or something. Draco had told him not to go venturing around down here but honestly, the snakes had already seen him once. And he really needed to talk to Draco. As long as no one said his name it should be safe. But as he searched the map he realized Draco hadn't gone back to the Slytherin Dorms like he said he would. He was in a room that wasn't too far from where Harry was now. Snape's personal quarters from what Harry could tell. Harry only briefly wondered what he was doing, but it didn't matter. He had to see him.

As he walked further down the dark corridor and stopped a little ways away watching Snape's door; waiting for Draco to come out. Eventually, he heard the sound of a door creaking open, flooding the corridor with light. It was only then that he remembered he wasn't invisible and he was standing in clear sight. Panicking, Harry ducked behind a statue to watch from the shadows.

It was Draco. He was leaving the room now. Harry was anxious to talk to him already.

"Thanks again Sev. For… well, everything I suppose."

**Sev? Snape lets people call him _Sev?_**

Harry watched as the dark figure of Severus Snape filled the doorframe, "It is nothing else but my duty, Draco. Now hurry off to bed. You're out after curfew."

Harry watched the familiar look of amused annoyance on Draco's face, "Whatever you say Sevvy."

Snape glared for a moment longer before going back into his chambers and closing the door harshly. Harry watched as Draco stretched and began heading down the corridor. As soon as the blond was about to pass him, Harry reached out and pulled him, covering his mouth at the same time.

He was glad he'd covered his mouth because he could feel Draco let out a slew of expletives against his fingers.

"Shh, Draco. It's just me."

Harry instantly felt the change in Draco's body. All of his muscles relaxed and he sighed leaning back against Harry. Harry couldn't suppress a smile. He let Draco go slowly and the blond turned to glare at him but the look held no true anger.

"What the _fuck_ are you doing sneaking around the dungeons at two in the morning, Mr. Potter?"

Harry rolled his eyes, "I was looking for you."

"Obviously. I didn't think you had many Slytherin friends who would appreciate a late night visit like this."

"What were you doing?"

Draco paused for a moment, "What do you mean?"

"Talking with Snape. It _is_ two in the morning. Why would you be in Snape's chambers?"

Draco rolled his eyes but didn't say anything, "Well…" he started slowly, "It's a long story."

"I've got time."

"No, you haven't. You're in the middle a labyrinth of dungeons and it's apparent that you don't have your invisibility cloak. What explanation would you come up with if you're caught, hm?"

Harry ignored the question, "Come with me to the tower room again. I can't sleep in Gryffindor tower tonight."

Harry watched as Draco bit his lips and glanced around, "I would but…I have some things to take care of first."

"Like what? What could be more important?"

"My friends. It's Christmas. I know they're usually not the type to wait up but I have to spend at least a little time with them."

Harry sighed in true annoyance. He really just wanted to take Draco with him right now and be done with it. But he had to respect that Draco was trying not to neglect his friends as they had both been doing an awful lot of lately.

"I'll go there and wait for you." Harry reluctantly said.

Draco nodded and smiled a little, "Kiss me first."

Harry smiled back and pulled Draco into his arms. He felt perfect there, as though Harry was meant to hold him just like he was now. At first he only kissed Draco's face: his cheeks, his chin, the tip of his nose. Harry liked doing this. Not just because no matter where Harry happened to kiss him, Draco's skin was soft and smooth. But also because when he kissed all over Draco's face eventually the blond would start to blush. And it was Harry's goal in life to see that blush every day. Draco's blush wasn't splotchy or burning red. It was the lightest pink rising up beneath his pale skin, making it much warmer against Harry's lips. It was perfect.

Even now Harry felt Draco's skin begin to get warmer and so finally, he pressed his lips against Draco's in a soft kiss. The kiss was chaste and slow, their lips pressing together gently and their tongues only just reaching out to taste each other. But Harry knew of all that was hidden behind those lips. And he was tempted to simply delve inside and discover it again. But he pulled away slowly.

Seeing Draco's pout made him laugh quietly, "Meet me later and you can have more."

Draco cursed, "You bloody tease."

"Hey, it's not my fault you've got your friends to attend to. You should have done it earlier."

"Don't start lecturing me, Potter." Draco said his voice for a moment sounding as harsh and cold as it did all the years before this one. But Draco leaned in and kissed his lips fleetingly again, "I'll see you later." He whispered before he turned and left.

Harry stood where he was a moment longer, half to catch his breath and half to make sure he'd be able to make it to the tower room undetected. He looked at the map for a long while the names blurring as his mind wandered. But he forced himself to concentrate. Filch was a long ways away but seemed to be heading down to the dungeons. If Harry hoped to get past him he'd have to leave now to get to the tower. And Mrs. Norris was wandering around the upper floors near the Room of Requirement.

Harry glanced around the statue to make sure no one was coming before he stepped out from behind it. As soon as he did, someone grabbed him by the back of his collar and pulled him back. Harry didn't cry out but he was shocked out of his socks. He'd been sure he hadn't seen anyone.

Snape turned him around easily and stared at him, his black gaze burning right into Harry's soul.

"Potter." He spat but said no more.

Harry stood still, waiting for the lecture and the inevitable loss of plenty more house points. But instead, Snape let go of his collar swiftly and took a step back.

Shocked, Harry slowly straightened out his robes. Snape was letting him go? Without even a single insult? Without taking a single point? Had the world gone mad?

"I expect you to leave my dungeons _posthaste_, Potter. And I will not catch you sneaking around here again. Is. That. Understood?"

"Understood, sir." Harry responded quickly, already backing up.

He wasn't going to stay and test his luck. He was going to get out of there as quick as possible and thank every god and deity for the miracle that had just occurred.

Snape continued to glare meanly as Harry backed away before finally, Harry turned the nearest corner. He couldn't run; he'd make too much noise. But he certainly felt like running. He was overly careful the rest of the way to the tower room, sneaking around every corner and creeping through every shadow, even though he knew where everyone was from his map. Filch now down searching the dungeons, Snape now back in his living quarters and Draco… Draco was with alone with Pansy and Blaise in the 6th years boys' dorm. But Crabbe and Goyle were at the door apparently trying to get in.

**Odd…What would he want to keep from those two anyway?**

Harry shrugged it off. Maybe he didn't buy gifts for them or something.

Harry made it to the tower room without any more misfortunes. He sighed once he was safely inside. It was as though he felt nothing could reach him here, nothing except for Draco of course. And that would be cause only for happiness. Harry considered transfiguring something into a bed but he knew that if he did so he'd only fall asleep. So instead he moved the many pillows on the window seat around until he could recline comfortably.

He laid there for a while, staring up at the dark sky. There was no moon tonight. And yet, it wasn't dark—not at all. He relaxed and closed his eyes.

**I'm not going to sleep. I'm only resting my eyes**

Xx--XxX--xX

Draco sat at Snape's table looking over this new letter.

A letter straight from the hand of the Dark Lord.

Well, well it was less of a letter and more of a hastily scrawled note.

Even still, Draco read it over and over but the words it didn't seem to register. Snape pulled out the chair next to him and it scrapped loudly against the stone floor. Draco didn't even flinch when Snape sat down next to him and pulled the letter from his lax hands.

To the Young Malfoy

The time has come for a move on our part. But the plan has changed. It seems that a past attempt at glory has left loose ends that must be tied up immediately. Severus will explain your task to you thoroughly. I expect results.

I will allow no delay. Already, others have suffered because of your lack of action. Your mother did scream spectacularly. Cowardice is not permissible among my ranks.

Show me where your loyalties lie.

"Are you done reading it?" Snape asked.

Draco nodded quickly and pushed the letter away as though it were some foul thing that he couldn't stand to touch for another second. At that Snape stood taking the letter and throwing it into the fire where they watched it curl and burn to ashes. It was a long time before either of them spoke again, each of them lost in their own thoughts. But eventually Snape turned back to him.

"If I were to advise you wisely, I would tell you that whatever nonsense you have with Potter should stop here and now. For both your benefit and his. But because I know the stubborn idiocy of youth and of Potter in particular, I will say nothing on the subject. But…. Are there any others who know?"

Draco stared into Snape's black eyes trying to read his intent. It was clear enough even without that. No one else should know. Draco sighed, resting his elbows on the table and putting his head in his hands as he thought. Sev was right. This was a time for clear thinking. And he couldn't trust anyone right now. Not Snape, not Harry, not anyone. He'd have to make these decisions on his own.

Draco swallowed thickly, "No one else knows. We've been extremely careful. Will you please just tell me what this new assignment is?"

Snape's face settled into an even harsher expression, "You must kill Ginny Weasley."


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Draco's jaw hung open and he stared at Snape. He must've heard him wrong or something. There was no way that he could kill a fellow student. And Harry's sort of girlfriend. There was just _**no**_ way.

"Could you run that by me one more time." Draco said his voice sounding just as shocked as he felt, "I think I misheard you."

"Ginevra Weasley must be killed. And the Dark Lord wants you to do it." Snape repeated calmly.

"Are you fucking kidding me! The Weaselette? Why the hell do I have to kill _her_?" Draco shouted jumping up from his chair.

"Sit down, Draco." Snape said firmly in that voice that left no room for argument; the voice that all parents and teachers seemed to have perfected.

Draco glared for a moment before he petulantly dropped back into his chair crossing his arms over his chest, "Explain."

Snape glared at him for a second longer, as if daring him to have another outburst like that, before finally he pulled out a chair and sat as well.

"I don't know much." He started, "It has to do with the incident four years ago. Both the Dark Lord and Dumbledore have been particularly tight lipped about exactly what took place in the Chamber of Secrets."

"But Harry's told me all about that. He defeated the basilisk and then the journal, so the young Dark Lord could not be brought back at that time." Draco interjected.

"Of course we all know that." Snape snapped rudely, "That much was in the Daily Prophet for Merlin's sake. We all know what happened from Harry's point of view. But it's Ginny that no one seems willing to talk about."

Draco paused in thought. Harry really hadn't gone into much detail about Ginny when he retold the story of what happened there. He'd said that the Dark Lord had been using Ginny and that when he'd gotten into the Chamber of Secrets, Ginny was unconscious. He'd mumbled something about the Dark Lord trying to live through her but that was it.

"Well…what is it that happened to her?" Draco asked.

"What I believe happened was, the Dark Lord tried to possess Ginny Weasley. His intent was to Drain the life out of her and implant his soul into her body."

"He was going to come back through her?" Draco asked incredulously. That was part of the story that hadn't ever really been told.

"Yes. But not only that, he nearly succeeded." Snape said as though that explained everything.

"So what?"

Snape rolled his dark eyes and sneered, "Last year I helped Potter with Occlumency because not only was he slipping into the Dark Lord's mind; but the Dark lord was slipping into his and tormenting him through dreams."

Draco nodded in understanding. And suddenly he started to see what Snape was talking about. If Tom Riddle had been sharing Ginny's mind for months and nearly succeeded in implanting his soul in her body, surely he had left some sort of connection with her as well. The same as he had with Harry.

Snape nodded, seeing the understanding in Draco's eyes, "She has been getting valuable information without the Dark Lord ever noticing. Her connection to him is much stronger than Potter's. Potter and Dark Lord were connected by blood. But the Dark Lord and Ginny are connected by spirit and mind. This is speculation but I believe that because of how closely they were connected at that time their minds have grown used to each other. So that they can scarcely tell when they are sharing thoughts. She's been slipping in and out of his mind for years without either of them taking much notice."

"So I…" Draco started slowly.

"Yes." Snape said seriously, "You have to kill her."

The words sounded so final that Draco was instantly filled with fear. But then he had a good thought, "Does this mean that my other task—"

"No," Snape answered without waiting to hear the question, "The Dark Lord needs you here to complete the first task you were assigned as well. So you must make Ginny's death look like an accident. If you get caught no Death Eater will come to your aid. This is your punishment for refusing the Dark Mark over summer. If you are caught there will be no proof that you killed for Him. In the eyes of the ministry, you will only be a killer."

Draco swallowed hard. He was stuck straddling the fence now. He was going to kill one of Harry's friends but if he was caught, his own side wouldn't protect him. That was the punishment for not picking sides fast enough.

"I'm not going to help you with this Draco. For your other task I made an oath but for this I can do little to nothing. I will not cover for you if you fail."

Draco's foggy mind registered pain and he became aware that he was ardently wringing his hands. Still he nodded to Snape, understanding their situation. There was no way for Snape to kill Ginny and still remain in the position he was. Draco knew that Snape was trying to stay in Dumbledore's good graces. If Snape killed Ginny he would be fired and most likely sent to Azkaban. Draco would not only be in trouble with the Dark Lord but he'd would _have_ to kill Dumbledore himself. If he didn't, Snape would die because of the damn oath he made. And the Dark Lord would then know about the oath. So even Bellatrix would likely be punished. It wouldn't be pretty.

Draco felt overwhelmed and out of control and he struggled to wrap his mind fully around the entire situation.

"Maybe… I can just make a few attempts…" Draco started, "So the Dark Lord will see I'm trying. And it should buy me some time. Especially if the attempts warn both Dumbledore and Ginny that their lives are in danger."

Snape was silent for a long moment, "Why would you want to warn them of that?"

Draco shrugged and averted his eyes, "I… are there any bugs here?" he whispered.

"Of course not or we wouldn't be talking. There _are_ bugs, but I temporarily disarmed them. So far as they hear, I'm sound asleep. You and I are free to speak."

Draco nodded and absently traced patterns on the surface of the table before glancing up at Snape's dark eyes once more, "I considered joining them."

Snape's eyebrows twitched as though to rise but did not go any farther than that, "Can I assume this has to do with… Potter?"

Draco stared at his godfather in disbelief before looking away and nodding slowly, "I didn't mean for it to happen Sev. Really. It just… it all happened so quickly."

"And you cannot… forget?"

Draco shook his head, "Not at all. I wouldn't even if I could. That's how bad it's gotten."

Snape nodded before standing again and looking at the flickering fire, "I suppose then, you have large decisions on the horizon."

"I'll… I'll think of something." He said finally.

Snape glanced at him before nodding curtly, "For your sake and mine I hope you know what you're doing."

Draco winced. They were his decisions but they affected so many other people. Life could be so cruel sometimes. He glanced back up at Snape but the man was looking away, staring into the flickering fire once more. Draco stared at his tense back and sighed. Snape was… a good godfather. Underneath that prickly cover was a heart and Draco knew that Snape did indeed love him as a godson. Snape was loyal and smart and helpful. But more than all of that he was an absolutely amazing liar.

Draco could never see what he wanted to in Snape. He could only see what Snape wanted to show him. But then again, if he could get around Voldemort, how could Draco ever possibly hope to see through the man's defenses?

Still, Draco respected him**, a**nd appreciated him. And part of him, though it was quite unwise at a time when they were all on the precipice of war, trusted him.

"I think I should be leaving. I have… some things to take care of."

Snape turned and eyed him coldly before assenting with a quick nod, "Of course, Draco."

Snape walked him to the door and Draco turned just as he reached the corridor, "Thanks again Sev. For… well, everything I suppose."

Draco watched the man straighten his shoulders as though he wasn't used to any sort of thanks being offered to him. And who knows, he probably wasn't.

"It is nothing else but my duty, Draco," Snape responded with a hardness in his voice that Draco suspected was fake, "Now hurry off to bed. You're out after curfew."

Draco couldn't help but smirk and roll his eyes, "Whatever you say, Sevvy."

The familiar glare of pure hatred passed over Snape's face at the nickname before he simply closed the door, a little harder than necessary, in Draco's a face. Draco could only roll his eyes again. He felt a little better as the heavy mood the letter brought on slowly started to lift. But he knew there was still much more to be taken care of. He stretched his shoulders out, stiff from sitting at the table so long and began walking back towards the Slytherin Dorms.

Very suddenly, something grabbed his elbow and jerked him harshly to the right. He went to cry out but a hand covered his mouth before any of the sound could escape. In his mind Draco was coming up with a thousand ways to kill whoever had grabbed him but it was all wiped clear by one single hurried whisper.

"Shh, Draco. It's just me."

Draco let the tension ease from his body at the sound of Harry's voice. It wasn't even a mindful gesture. Just that when he was near Harry, he always felt relaxed. The hand over his mouth slowly retreated and he felt Harry turn him around. Though Draco was relieved that it was just Harry he was still angry at having his arm near jerked out of the socket. And what was Harry doing down here anyway?

Draco mock glared at him, "What the _fuck_ are you doing sneaking around the dungeons at two in the morning, Mr. Potter?"

Harry rolled his eyes, "I was looking for you."

"Obviously. I didn't think you had many Slytherin friends who would appreciate a late night visit like this."

"What were you doing?"

Draco paused for a moment. What would he say? That he'd gotten a letter from the Dark Lord? He doubted Harry wanted to hear that, "…What do you mean?" Draco answered slowly.

"Talking with Snape. It _is_ two in the morning. Why would you be in Snape's chambers?"

Draco rolled his eyes but stalled for words once more, "Well…" he started slowly, "It's a long story."

"I've got time."

"No, you haven't. You're in the middle a labyrinth of dungeons with no invisibility cloak. What explanation would you come up with if you're caught, hm?"

"Come with me to the tower room." Harry said completely ignoring what Draco said.

Draco bit his lip in thought before he glanced around the corridor. No one was coming. He could just leave now. He could just save everything else he had to do for another day… But he knew he couldn't do that. It had to be taken care of now. If he didn't do it now, he'd lose his resolve.

"I would but…I have some things to take care of first."

"Like what? What could be more important?"

"My friends. It's Christmas. I know they're usually not the type to wait up but I have to spend at least a little time with them."

Draco watched Harry grimace in annoyance before he sighed, letting his shoulders sag, "I'll go there and wait for you."

Draco nodded and smiled a little glad that Harry dropped the subject that easily, "Kiss me first."

Harry offered him a genuine bright smile before pulling Draco into a warm embrace. Draco expected Harry to immediately kiss his lips but he didn't. He did that horrible, torturous thing; kissing all over his face. Draco's eyes fluttered closed at the subtly beautiful sensations. It really was very nice. But it made Draco feel strange, made him realize more and more that this really wasn't for sexual gratification. Harry truly wanted more than just his body. He bit his lip feeling his face get hot before finally, Harry's lips closed over his.

The kiss was light and teasing. Just enough to leave Draco panting for more. And when finally Harry pulled away it was with a smirk of victory, "Meet me later and you can have more."

"You bloody tease."

"Hey, it's not my fault you've got your friends to attend to. You should have done it earlier."

"Don't start lecturing _me_, Potter." Draco started with anger that wasn't exactly as fake as it should have been. But Draco smiled a little anyway and leaned in to kiss Harry's soft lips one last time, "I'll see you later." He whispered before he turned and left.

Draco walked swiftly away from the statue. If he was quick about it, he could be back up in the tower room in less than thirty minutes. He glanced behind him nervously a few times. He hadn't heard any footsteps announcing Harry's departure. He wondered if he was okay. But Harry was made of stern stuff. Even if he was caught, he'd be fine after a detention or two.

Draco reached the large Green tapestry with the coiled snake on it.

"Gurdyroot." He said to it and the snake opened its eye lazily before Draco heard the familiar sound of the bricks sliding apart. He pushed the tapestry to the side, walking into the new entrance behind it.

Draco walked into the common room quickly to find his friends all nodding off. Not inclined to be overly nice to them Draco simply picked up a cushion and threw it at Blaise making the boy startle awake.

"Was' at? I wasn't sleepin'. Promise." He gurgled in a thick voice.

Draco sighed, "Oh get up. Come on, wake up Pansy. I need to talk to you both." He said before walking away and down into the boys' dorms. Once inside he pulled off his tie and sank onto his bed.

He wasn't sure he was ready to do this but he didn't exactly have much choice. It was simply what needed to be done. And he was the only one who could. He looked up as the door opened and Blaise, Pansy, Vince, and Greg all shuffled in.

Draco stood, "I only need to talk to Blaise and Pansy." He announced clearly.

Vince and Greg glanced at each other and then back at Draco as though they weren't exactly sure what he was insinuating. Draco sighed, "As in, can you wait outside for a few minutes?"

"Erm… Sure Draco…"

"Yeah I guess.", they answered simultaneously before shooting confused looks at each other one more time and leaving back out the door.

Once it was closed Draco cast a silencing charm and locked the door. He looked over at Pansy and Blaise. They both seemed to be fully awakened by his strange behaviour but neither commented on it.

Draco pushed them both to sit next to each other on his bed and he stood before them. Looking at their confused faces he was even less sure that he could do this. He wasn't sure that he'd even be able to say what he needed to. But he steeled himself, taking a deep breath and drawing himself up to his full height.

He still had his wand out from when he'd cast the silencing charm and he twirled it absently in his fingers as he stared at them.

"You know…" He started slowly making them both jump a little at the coldness of his voice, "How I'm sleeping with Potter?" he asked.

They looked at each other and then back at him each of them nodding slowly, warily.

Without letting himself think to hesitate Draco raised his wand and stated clearly, "Obliviate."

The white light made them both blink. Draco watched as the odd light in their eyes slowly dulled and then they looked at him again.

"Umm… what were we just talking about?" Blaise asked rubbing his eyes sleepily.

Draco shrugged trying to cover the deep hurt he felt, "Merry Christmas, you two. Thanks for waiting up for me." He nearly whispered.

They were silent for a moment, no doubt confused by this peculiar show of affection. Draco never spoke to them like that. Not with true sincerity as he did now.

Pansy yawned obnoxiously, "It's no problem dear.… You even missed dinner didn't you? Why'd you have to leave again?"

"To talk to Snape." Draco lied stiffly.

"Oh that's right… I thought you mentioned something about that." Blaise said standing.

Draco turned away from them reaching into his trunk. He pulled off the fake lining from the lid and retrieved his journal. He'd only ever written in it a few times. He wasn't exactly one to record his every thought. But his mother had sent it to him. And he'd never used it. Recently, he'd felt guilty for that oversight and so he'd tried to show his gratitude for the gift by using it how she'd intended. Unfortunately, it had only caused him trouble.

Blaise and Pansy were hardly paying attention to him now. They both seemed to be suffering the short term effects of the spell. They would probably seem a little absentminded for the next thirty minutes or so.

"Go to bed. I'll be back in a bit."

Blaise nodded and reclined on Draco's bed. Draco didn't really care. He probably wouldn't be back tonight anyway. Pansy followed him to the door and as soon as he opened it Vince and Greg stumbled in. He was glad he'd cast that silencing charm. They'd apparently been trying to listen through the door.

Too distracted to be annoyed Draco simply walked past them and back into the common room. He watched indifferently as Pansy waved at him and disappeared into the girls' dorms. As soon as she was gone Draco tossed his journal into the fireplace. He watched it for a moment, his heart aching to see one of his mother's gifts in flames. But it was simply a sacrifice that had to made. Just like his friends…

He wiped conspicuously at his eyes hoping it was just the heat of standing so close to the fire. But Blaise and Pansy had been great friends to him. They were as loyal as could be expected of a Slytherin. Draco knew that he could count on them for nearly anything. And they'd always been there in the past. They'd been the ones to help him realize that staying away from Harry was the wrong choice. And this is how he repaid them**—b**y taking their memories.

He'd never had to hurt his friends before, not for the Dark Lord at least, and he was surprised at how very painful it was. He hadn't realized he was so close to them. He sighed as his journal slowly crumpled to ashes and he turned away from the fire.

This was war. Officially now. And sacrifices had to be made.

That's what he told himself at least as he wandered the halls back up to the tower room.

But somehow, knowing it was war, didn't make it hurt any less.

sorry this chap is a bit sad. Leave me a review anyway?


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Harry was falling, from a great height. This was normal now and he wasn't surprised. But things were changing.

He was falling, but now there were no spikes, and there was no hard concrete ground. Just endless night sky and silvery moonlight. The tiny sparkles that were the stars lit the world with a glow that was unearthly beautiful. And he was so happy because it was never going to stop. No dark clouds would ever interrupt the light. There was no ground to stop his fall. He was going to fall like this forever.

And not only that, it wasn't just falling anymore, it was flying. Soaring through the sky and he wasn't alone. Draco was with him, smiling cheekily and holding his hand as they flew through the night sky, in and out of heaven, dashing through the stars. And the world was all theirs.

Harry watched as Draco moved behind him and wrapped his arms around his chest. And it was so _warm_. Harry could have almost thought the embrace was real, but he knew it was only a dream. Draco was kissing the back of his neck slowly, leaving shiny little wet marks across his skin. Then Draco blew lightly against his damp skin making Harry shiver. Draco leaned up a little farther and took Harry's earlobe between his teeth making Harry almost whimper. But the sound felt trapped in his throat and he had to struggle to push it out. Harry felt Draco lips at his ear, moving as though to whisper something, but he couldn't understand what he was saying.

It frustrated him because he wanted to understand but… the words seemed to be so very far away. He concentrated hard on deciphering the hazy whispers.

"..rry… Harry. Wake up, Harry."

Harry's eyes fluttered open slowly. He wasn't flying; he was lying on a bunch of pillows in the tower room. But now he could feel another body pressed behind him. Draco _did_ have his arms wrapped around Harry's chest and he _was_ slowly kissing the back of his neck.

"Morning." Draco whispered slowly and Harry felt the strangest sensation spread through his chest.

It was as though his heart grew twenty times its size to accommodate the surges of love he felt for the man behind him. And Harry couldn't deny the feeling, or try to call it something else to save his pride. It was love, pure and simple.

"Good morning, Draco." Harry whispered in reply.

"You wanna see something cool?" Draco asked as he continued to kiss along Harry's throat.

Harry nodded slowly and bit his lip as Draco slowly traced the shell of his ear with his tongue.

"Look at the sky, Harry."

Harry looked at the sky through the window. It wasn't anything amazing. The sky was a hazy orange tint, on the verge of sunrise. And he had to admit, the window made everything look magnificent. The lake, the snow topped trees, the dark forest, and the soft plains of white snow. It was all beautiful. But it was all normal to him now.

"What is it? It's all just-"

"Shh... Watch." Draco said resting his chin lightly on Harry's shoulder to stare out the window as well.

Harry sighed and looked out the window, doubting for a moment that Draco was going to show him anything "cool". The sky became brighter and brighter with the imminent sunrise. And very suddenly, the sun broke over the horizon.

It was like a bright golden laser hitting him right between the eyes but it wasn't painful. He gasped as the entire room was filled with a golden hue. The light tinted everything it touched new colors Harry had never seen before. He felt Draco smile against his cheek as his hand slipped casually into Harry's.

"Told you it was cool."

Harry could only nod dumbly. The light bounced off of everything, cutting through the hazy sky and making the snow sparkle. It was gorgeous. The most absolutely amazingly beautiful thing Harry had ever seen in his life. It had to be magic. This window was magic. It showed him everything he'd always thought was normal in a new light. It changed his perceptions. And it humbled him to the beauty of things he'd never thought to look at before. Even the dust sparkled as it floated gently through the air making their small tower room look more like some heavenly otherworld.

Harry turned and looked at Draco. He was breathtaking. His usually pale silvery blond hair had picked up its more honey colored tones, the tips even shinning as bright a gold as the sun itself. Even his skin seemed to have a golden sort of blush to it. He looked like sunlight personified. If Harry hadn't known better he would've expected to see wings behind the angelic boy. As it was, he still felt the urge to check. And Draco's eyes… there simply wasn't an adjective to describe. There wasn't a name for the color any longer. Once blue and silvery and yet now tinted by the rays of the bright morning light. His eyes sparkled in a way that would rival even Dumbledore's perpetually sparkling eyes. Harry swallowed not sure how to react.

Draco smiled and lightly stroked Harry's cheek, "God you're gorgeous in this light." He whispered.

At first Harry was a bit confused, he'd never stopped to think about what he must look like. But he'd certainly never thought that his looks, even accentuated by the magical light, would ever rival Draco's. Still unsure how to react, Harry decided a kiss couldn't be too far off base. He reached up to grasp the back of Draco's neck and pull into him into a warm kiss.

The kiss was languorous, and sweet. There was no wild heat or even lustful smolder. They simply slowly searched each other's mouth. Discovering again the familiar paths of affection they had traced before. But somehow, it never lost its novelty. Though the kisses were never exactly the same, nor did they ever hold the exact same intent, there was an underlying emotion that was unchanging. In each kiss, from the first to now, it was there.

When Draco pulled away his eyes were darkened; darker than Harry remembered seeing them in a long time. He was surprised that Draco's eyes would look that way after they'd just shared what he considered an extremely sweet and loving kiss. Harry's brow furrowed as Draco bit his lip and moved away from him. He sat up and straightened out his sweater; the one Harry had given him.

Harry sat up too, "Draco? What is it? What's wrong?"

Draco shook his head and sighed, "I… I feel like a total jackass."

Harry shoved some of the cushions out of the way and moved to sit next to Draco. He reached out and grabbed his hand, "Why? What happened?"

"I just… I haven't been being very nice to my friends."

Harry blinked in confusion. Didn't he just go and see them?

"Did you get into a fight with them tonight?"

Draco's shoulders sagged but he shook his head, "It's nothing. I'm just being dramatic. It's done anyway, and it's not like I can take it back."

"I don't understand…"

Draco turned to him and offered him a small smile, "It's alright, Harry."

"So umm… what were you doing earlier?"

Draco flinched and looked away, "…Earlier?"

Harry's gaze narrowed. He didn't want to think anything bad about Draco, but he was acting awfully suspicious, "With Snape I mean." Harry finished.

Draco pulled his hand from Harry's grasp and scooted away along the window seat, "Nothing. Nothing really. Just… well it is Christmas. And he's my godfather. So I paid him a visit."

Harry stared at him for a long moment before his gaze narrowed further, "Do you go to Snape after every one of our meetings?"

Harry watched as the look on Draco's face morphed from worry and sadness to anger and shock, "What you think I've been telling him about our meetings?"

"I didn't say that."

"You insinuated it!" Draco shouted jumping to his feet, "How could you even _think_ for a moment that I would break our promise?"

"Well! … What am I supposed to think?" Harry said sighing.

"You're supposed to trust me." Draco snapped, his voice frigid.

"Trust a Slytherin? Do you think I'm stupid?" Harry scoffed, not truly realizing what he was saying.

Draco stopped and backed away straightening himself to his full height, "A Slytherin? That's all I am? That's all I've proved myself to be?"

"Draco I didn't mean that the way it sounded." Harry started realizing how cruel his words had been.

"No I think you meant that _exactly_ the way it sounded." Draco sighed and looked away, "I'm going to leave now. I've been up all night and I'm very tired. So if you don't mind…" He trailed walking towards the door.

Harry jumped up from the window seat and followed him catching him in his arms before he could reach the door, "Just wait, Draco. Please… Please don't leave while you're mad at me."

Harry felt, just like before, Draco relax in his arms and he mentally thanked Merlin that Draco wasn't angry beyond repair.

"I'm… I'm not mad, Harry. Just _really_ irritated. And I really am tired. So-"

"Sleep here. Sleep here with me."

Harry felt that Draco was considering it and so he kissed his neck and his soft blond hair, mentally begging him to stay. His arms squeezed him a little tighter and closed his eyes waiting for Draco to make a decision.

"When the hell did this happen, Harry? When did we get this close?"

Harry shook his head but did not let his lips leave Draco's hair, "I don't know." He murmured, "But it doesn't bother me at all."

Draco chuckled slowly and Harry felt the vibrations through his chest, "Me either… it just confuses me."

Draco reached up and pried Harry's arms off before turning to face him. He smiled a little, "Well if I'm going to sleep here you'd better transfigure a bed for me."

Harry beamed and nodded, whipping out his wand and transfiguring the lopsided pile of pillows into a four-poster bed.

Draco made a sound of approval and began to pull off his clothes, folding his sweater once more and kicking the rest of his clothes in all directions, "Lock the door." He whispered as he brushed by Harry and crawled into the bed pulling the thick duvet over himself.

Harry began muttering locking charms at the door one by one and he heard Draco moan, "God Harry this bed is brilliant. Maybe I'm just really tired but… silk sheets? I should let you transfigure the bed more often."

Harry grinned and finished locking the door before he too stripped down to his boxers. He winced a little at walking barefoot across the cold stones before he hurriedly jumped into the bed next to Draco. He smiled and smacked a big wet kiss on his cheek before getting situated under the covers. Draco flipped onto his stomach, throwing on arm across Harry's torso and resting his head on his shoulder. Harry wasn't at all upset with the position. He could feel Draco's warm body against him and his vision was full of gently sparkling golden hair.

They stayed like that for a little while before Draco pulled his wand from under one of the pillows and flicked it making the curtains slide closed. Now no longer basking in the golden light, Harry blinked trying to get used to the change.

Draco apparently really was very tired and not in the mood at all for conversation. He didn't say a word, he hardly even moved. Harry wasn't sure if he was asleep yet but he was afraid to ask.

Instead he laid back and stared up at the curtains. He thought about what Draco said. How was it that they'd gotten this close? Harry ran the events of the past few weeks through his mind but there was no exact time when they started acting differently. After they'd gotten back together they'd just been closer than ever before. The separation hadn't weakened their relationship at all. In fact, it'd done the exact opposite. And since their little Christmas celebration Harry felt that they were even closer. The dinner and presents and sex had all been outrageously satisfying—no, _more_ than satisfying. They'd been perfect.

How he'd stayed awake the entire night Harry couldn't know. But now his fatigue was starting to fall on him all at once. His body felt heavy and he yawned as he felt himself slowly falling down into sleep.

"Harry…" Draco whispered.

Harry blinked one eye open, "…yeah?" he asked his voice already thick with impending slumber.

"You really don't think I'm just a Slytherin do you?"

"No Draco I don't. I really don't. I just… I say weird things sometimes." Harry slurred out sleepily.

He felt Draco nod. At that Harry let himself fall back deeper into sleep.

He had the same dream of flying.

Xx--XxX--xX

Draco woke up slowly. He drifted in and out of wakefulness for a few minutes before finally his consciousness situated itself in the land of the living. He blinking at the dark blue curtains and briefly wondered if he'd had sex with a Ravenclaw. He felt a shift to his right and turned to see Harry. He couldn't stop his smile and he wasn't going to try.

Sleeping with Harry wasn't a new experience but it was certainly a pleasant one. Harry was still holding him, keeping Draco plenty warm even though it was still a very cold winter outside. Harry's face was completely relaxed. Draco had never thought of Harry as tense but it was obvious that his stressful lifestyle was getting to him. When he was awake, Harry carried bad memories and harsh responsibilities. But now that he was asleep it was as though all of that melted away. There wasn't a single line on his face and there was no heaviness. His lips were parted and wet. His eyes flickered beneath his lids in a dream.

Draco smiled at the sleeping face of his lover before brushing some of his dark hair from his forehead. Draco snuggled in closer to Harry and let himself relax too.

If Draco had the choice to do anything he wanted with his life, it would be to make sure Harry's face always stayed like this. He wanted to keep all the horrible things in the world far away from him. He wanted to take Harry away to a world where they weren't confined to a tower room. He wanted to make Harry the happiest man on earth. He wasn't sure that he could…Draco wasn't even really sure that Harry would like him; he had plenty of personality flaws. But if Draco had the choice to do what he wanted with his life, he would want to give it a shot.

But Draco didn't have the choice to do what he wanted with his life.

The war was starting. Voldemort was done toying with his prey, he was now preparing to make the final moves to victory. Draco would be called upon soon. No doubt, Voldemort would want to meet with his followers. And Draco wouldn't be able to get out of it without raising suspicion. And of course that would put strain on Snape since he was supposed to be watching over Draco.

But all of that was still in the not-so-distant, foggy future. What Draco really needed to worry about was his new mission and his original mission. Voldemort was giving him a lot of work—two murders in one semester's time. And if caught there would be no one on his side. And yet it wasn't an option, he doubted it ever was. He had to do as the Dark Lord commanded. As soon as he was old enough to understand politics, he knew which side he would be on. But it was always a 'would be'. He never truly considered himself a Death Eater and if circumstances were different, he would never do anything for their side. But with his mother gone and his father under Voldemort's constant watch, Draco was out of options. There was nowhere for him to turn, no one to be on his side. And so he had to stay on the Dark Lord's side.

He'd never been scared to be a Death Eater or to kill someone. Theoretically, murder seemed easy. But now he was truly scared shitless every time he thought about how he would kill Ginny or Dumbledore. It was so much more _real_ because the time to act was now.

He knew that his mother hadn't been killed for his lack of action. Voldemort was just picking on him; trying to hurt him. And while it hadn't affected him too strongly, the words about her screams had made him flinch. This wasn't a joke, it wasn't just another Slytherin tradition like picking on Gryffindors. This was his life. And he couldn't make any decision blindly. He had to be rational.

First things first, he had to make an attempt at his newest assignment. He wouldn't be able to play that card very long. He knew that after a few of failures Voldemort would become very angry, very quickly. But that wasn't what he was worried about. All he really wanted to do was make it to the end of the year. He wanted every day with Harry that he could possibly get. If he could just postpone the assignment-

"Mmm… Draco?" Harry whispered sleepily.

Draco let himself relax again, not realizing that his thoughts had made him tense up, "Good morning Harry."

Harry smiled and kissed his neck, "You're beautiful…"

Draco laughed out loud, "You really don't have an attention span."

you all know how much I love reviews. XD


	28. Chapter 28

What is wrong with you guys? Is there something wrong with the story?

My review count per chapter has SERIOUSLY plummeted. Did I do something wrong or is everyone just really busy. Leave a review and tell me?

I'm starting to get worried.

Enjoy your chap

* * *

Chapter 28

"Come on. This is supposed to be fun." Hermione sighed.

They all sat in a booth at the Three Broomsticks. But no one was talking. In fact, most of them were doing their best not to even look at each other. But then again, that was only to be expected.

"I don't know how you think were supposed to be having fun after what happened last week." Harry muttered.

"This is supposed to help you get over it. I know it may seem a little soon but… the tension between you to is just unbearable." Hermione continued, "Come on, Ginny. Be the bigger person and apologize first."

"Hermione…" Ron started, "I really don't think this is any of our busin-"

"Or what about you Harry? You did say some awful things. How about you clear your conscience and just say you're sorry, hm?"

Harry sighed, "Listen, Hermione, I-"

"I don't want to hear what you have to say. You should be talking to Ginny right now."

Harry glanced at the redheaded girl sitting next to Hermione and grimaced before looking away. He really did feel guilty about all that was said that night. And he really _did_ want to apologize. But he didn't exactly want to do so in front of Ron and Hermione. It was something that could only be solved between him and Ginny. No one else.

"Hermione, I think Harry and I should speak alone. If you don't mind." Ginny said calmly while still looking straight at Harry.

Hermione glanced back and forth between them for a moment, as though judging whether or not they could be trusted to be alone, before she stood, "Fine. Work everything out. You're not allowed to leave this table until you do."

Hermione turned to leave but yanked Ron up by his arm.

"Merlin Hermione you're not their mother. And _ow_! You're not mine either. Let go of me! Come on that hurts!" Ron could be heard whining all the way out the front door.

Harry swallowed realizing that he was alone with Ginny now. He'd been avoiding her like the plague for the past week. It was difficult considering they were in the same house, but with the help of his Marauders map, he managed. And now he was sitting here face to freckled face with the one girl he really, _really_ didn't want to talk to. And there was only one subject one the agenda.

"Harry." Ginny started and Harry let his eyes fall. He was ready for the curses and the hateful words. He knew he deserved them for what he'd done.

Ginny was slow to continue and he glanced up almost hopeful. She offered him a small smile, "I'm sorry."

In shock Harry could only stare at her, "_You're _sorry? But- I thought. But I-"

"I said bad things about you in front of our entire house. I needed to apologize. Part of me was mad and wanted to hurt you. But I don't hate you."

Harry sat in silence for a while before he realized it was his turn to speak, "Oh, I'm sorry too. Really I am. I mean… there was a lot of complicated stuff going on… but I didn't mean to cheat on you. And I really didn't want to break up with you in front of everyone."

Ginny nodded slowly, "Well I'm really not surprised you cheated on me with a guy, Harry."

"You're… what?" Harry asked incredulously.

Ginny offered him the smallest of smiles, "Come on Harry. I was doubtful you even ever had a crush on me. You've spent every summer at my house and not even once did you try to make a move or anything. I'm not stupid."

"Then why'd you go out with me when I asked?"

Ginny sighed and slowly traced the lip of her butterbeer bottle with her finger, "Wishful thinking I guess… but really… After I had time to think about it and everything, I'm not as upset as I should be. I think it's because… I never really liked you."

Harry sat back fully in the booth. If there was ever one thing he'd never expected Ginny to say, that was it, "You didn't like me?"

"Not really." She answered simply, "I thought that made sense for us to be together. And I liked the idea of having _the_ Harry Potter as my boyfriend. But honestly, you're not my type."

Harry was silent for a while before he burst out laughing. He knew he probably shouldn't be laughing. It was rude. But somehow laughing made him feel better about the ridiculousness of the situation. And Ginny was giggling a little too.

"I mean I know I shouldn't laugh." Harry managed through his chuckles, "Me asking you out caused us both a lot of trouble but…"

"It's fine, it's pretty funny actually." She said with a smile of her own before it turned it to a sort of half grimace, "I mean… part of me is still pissed you called me ugly but I think that's just normal friend kind of pissed. Not the jealous girlfriend kind."

Harry sobered a little bit and cleared his throat, "You know you're not ugly Ginny. You're damn beautiful really. Just… not my type."

Ginny's happy laughter rang out strong and clear making Harry smile.

Harry felt as though a load had been lifted off of his shoulders. He knew that growing up with six brothers had made Ginny a laid back kind of girl that could transition easily from little sister to one of the guys. But he never imagined that after only one week they'd be able to laugh about having yelled horrible things at each other.

Ginny was one of a kind. Whoever she ended up with, was really, _really_ lucky.

"Well," Harry said standing, "I'll go get Hermione and Ron. They shouldn't have to stand out in the snow any longer."

Ginny nodded and smiled at him, "You should get us another round of butterbeer as well."

"Sure thing." Harry replied as he headed towards the front door. The closer he got, the more clear the bickering of his two friends became. He rolled his eyes and poked his head outside, "Come on you two. Back inside."

"Have you made up with Ginny yet?" Hermione asked.

Harry nodded, "Yes. Now get back in here before you both freeze. I'm buying us all another round."

"You're a saviour Harry." Ron said as he nearly ran back inside, "Someone's going to put a permanent lip locking curse on her one day." He muttered as he walked by making Harry smile and elbow him playfully.

Hermione smiled at Harry too as she stepped back inside the warm pub, "I'm glad you two were mature enough to come to an understanding. I knew it wouldn't take too long."

Out of the corner of his eye Harry thought he saw a flicker of platinum hair. He turned quickly immediately thinking of Draco. But the boy was no where to be seen. Harry sighed having had his hopes built up and dashed in only a few seconds flat.

Harry knew that Draco had said he wouldn't be able to come to Hogsmeade today but that didn't stop him from hoping. Every time they turned a corner or went into a shop Harry hoped that Draco would be there. But he wasn't. He'd said he had detention with McGonagall for not turning in his homework. Harry almost couldn't believe it when he'd told him. Draco was always an impeccable student. But it must've really been the truth.

Harry sighed and gave Hermione a half smile as he went to the front counter and ordered another round for his group of friends. Madame Rosmerta said she'd get the drinks to them as soon as she could, considering it was a very busy day at the Three Broomsticks. It was the first Hogsmeade trip of the New Year and nearly everyone from the school had come here to escape the bitter cold outside.

Harry rejoined his friends at their table and the conversation was much lighter than it had been only five minutes ago. But Harry just couldn't seem to concentrate. He felt restless. He hadn't seen Draco since the night before last and their conversation then had seemed strained. When Harry had asked what was wrong, Draco only smiled a little and asked Harry to fuck him. So he did.

Harry cleared his throat and repositioned himself in his seat again as the memories of that night flooded his mind. Everything had been exquisitely perfect, as though it were meant to be that way for all eternity. He was meant to be inside of Draco; that had been his true purpose since birth. Or at least, that's what it felt like.

But afterwards, Draco was still tense. It was strange to Harry that even sex didn't seem to relax the blond but he kept his mouth shut, hoping not to incite an argument. He instead simply held the boy close until they both fell asleep. These were the first days of the new school semester and luckily the workload was still light, but it soon wouldn't be. In the coming weeks, they'd be so busy studying for finals that their time together might grow scarce. Which is why it was so disheartening that of all the days to get a detention, Draco had one today.

If it was true that he had a detention at all. Harry found it hard to believe that Draco had honestly forgotten his homework. Had Harry done something to make him mad?

"I'm gonna go out for a walk." Harry announced after he downed the rest of his drink.

"In this weather?" Ron scoffed, "Have fun. I'm definitely not going with you."

"Don't stay out there long. You'll catch a cold." Hermione forewarned as Harry waved goodbye and stepped outside.

It was only snowing lightly but the wind was howling, blowing straight through Harry's heavy robes and chilling him to the bone. He took a deep breath, the air stinging his lungs a little, before he set off.

He thought that a trip to Honeydukes was in order. If he had done something to upset Draco, some chocolate would be the first step to forgiveness. There was absolutely no one out on the street and when he reached Honeydukes, it was just as desolate. He was glad that he had the store to himself. It was an extreme rarity but it would give him plenty of time to browse for things Draco might like.

But it seemed he had celebrated a bit too soon. No sooner had he set off down an isle, did the bell on the door sound again, announcing another person's entrance. Harry turned and peeked over the top of the shelf to see who it was. He hadn't seen anyone following him.

He smiled when he saw it was Blaise and Pansy. He wasn't exactly friends with them but he did trust them a little. After all, Draco trusted them. He smiled at them both but they only stared at him. Feeling a little awkward and embarrassed that his friendliness hadn't been returned, Harry turned and continued down the isle towards the boxes of chocolates he knew Draco loved.

Behind him he heard Blaise and Pansy approaching. He wondered if they were coming to talk to him but he kept his back to them and listened to small bits of their conversation.

"I don't even remember what I did wrong this time." Blaise said, "But Draco won't even so much as glance at me."

"Well you slept in his bed on Christmas remember? And you've been bugging him an awful lot. Plus he's busy, why would he want to talk to an annoying friend like you." Pansy responded.

"Annoying!" Blaise said in mock horror, "There's no way that _I'm_ annoying. I'm the best friend anyone could have. I'm buying the bastard chocolate aren't I?"

"He needs them. They cheer him up. Especially since… well, _you know_." Pansy said her voice dropping to just a whisper.

"Yeah. Sucks for him. But if someone had to do it, I'm just glad it's not me."

Harry turned around to face them now. He looked over towards the checkout counter to see that the worker here had apparently gone into the back or something. He scanned the store once more just to check it was safe to talk before he took a step towards the two of them.

"What're you talking about?" He asked in a low voice, "Is something wrong with Draco?"

Blaise and Pansy looked at each other for a moment before looking back at Harry.

"Are you off your fucking rocker, Potter? Who the hell invited you into our conversation?" Blaise responded.

"And don't you _dare_ call my future husband by his first name." Pansy hissed.

"Eavesdropping is a horrible habit scar head. I should hex you for it and teach you a lesson." Blaise said with a smirk before pulling out his wand.

Shocked by their reactions Harry took a step back. They were acting like they didn't know him at all. He wasn't sure what to say or do. Was this all a joke? From the malice clear in Blaise's eyes as he lifted his wand, Harry thought it wasn't.

"Sorry for interrupting. I'm just gonna leave now." Harry said quickly before bolting for the door. He only just dodged a spell. It hit the wall behind him knocking many boxes of chocolates astray.

"Hey!" the young witch working here cried out, "No spells cast in the store. You'll clean that all up _right now_." She commanded.

Harry was already out the door before he could hear the rest of what happened. He was definitely confused. He jogged down the street a little, trying to put as much distance between himself and the two obviously angry Slytherins.

Harry really had to talk to Draco now. What had he done to piss them all off? He couldn't think of anything.

He walked slowly back in the direction of the Three Broomsticks, brooding over what he could have possibly done and what he could do to fix it. The snow was falling much heavier now, and Harry couldn't see too far ahead of him.

Very suddenly, though, Hermione came running towards him. Harry couldn't really tell through the snow but it didn't seem like she was just running towards him for the fun of it. Harry picked up his pace a little.

"Harry!" She cried out, "Come quick!"

Internally, Harry felt surges of dread and flow through his body. He ran to meet up with her, "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Katie! Just come quickly!" Hermione near screeched in panic.

Harry nodded and followed her feeling much warmer as the adrenaline flooded his veins. Through the ever thickening white curtain that covered the entire town, eventually a few figures came into sight. There was Ron and another girl that Harry had seen but hardly knew. And then there was Ginny and….

Katie Bell lay writhing and screaming in the snow, her eyes open wide in complete terror. Ginny was holding some shining object carefully in a handkerchief. Harry bent slowly to examine the screaming girl that Ron was having trouble holding.

"What happened?" he asked willing to hear an answer from anyone who had one.

The other girl spoke first through quiet sobs, "S-she came back from the bathroom at the Three Broomsticks and said she had something she urgently needed to take care of. I was walking with her and we argued. And the package got ripped, she touched that… that _thing_ and then she was screaming a-and…" the girl's voice broke and she buried her face in her hands.

Hermione filled in the blanks over Katie's terrible screaming, "It looks to me like she was put under the Imperious curse in the bathroom and sent to deliver this package. Inside was that necklace Ginny's holding."

Harry nodded and took a few steps towards Ginny to examine the object. Ginny held it out, "Don't touch it." she warned.

Harry nodded and only looked. It was an ornate opal necklace. It looked oddly familiar but he couldn't place where he'd seen it.

"It's been cursed. Some sort of horrible curse intended to do serious damage." Hermione said.

Harry nodded in agreement before kneeling down to help Ron hold Katie still. Her screams were more like pitiful sobs and whimpers now. She hardly looked conscious.

Harry felt the frown lines carving their way into his face, "Go get a teacher."

Xx--XxX--xX

"I just don't understand!" Harry exclaimed in frustration as he paced the tower room. Why is everything suddenly so wrong? What happened?"

Draco sighed, "Who knows. Just forget it."

"Forget it? Katie is still completely unresponsive. Whatever curse was on that thing was very powerful. Probably meant to severely injure and maybe even _kill_ the person it was intended for. And it made it all the way to Hogsmeade! If not for Katie's friend arguing with her over the package it might've made it into the castle." Harry nearly shouted, his eyes wide and his breath heaving in and out of his chest.

"Harry." Draco said firmly, grabbing his shoulders and gently shaking him, "Get a hold of yourself. It _didn't_ make to the castle, okay? We're all safe and okay."

"Except Katie…" Harry whispered his emerald eyes shining dimly, like tarnished jewels.

"She'll be okay." Draco tried to assure him, reaching up to softly stroke his cheek.

"But how do you _know_?" Harry asked.

Draco resisted the very strong urge he had to bite his lip. He instead took a deep breath and slowly let it out before forcing a smile onto his face, "I just do. Trust me…" he whispered leaning in and capturing Harry's lips in a warm kiss, "You do trust me, don't you?" Draco asked.

Harry nodded and kissed him back, "With all my heart."

That made Draco wince; he no longer deserved that trust. But he ignored his feelings of guilt and instead pressed his body closer to Harry's letting himself feel what it was like just to be close to this man that he wanted more than anything that had ever existed. It was warm and perfect. They fit together on every plane, and Harry seemed to recognize this too. His long arms wrapped around Draco's waist, pulling him into a warm hug before lightly kissing along his neck.

"I'm sorry," he murmured against Draco's ivory skin, "I really do need to calm down. Katie is okay and it's not like worrying like this is helping her at all."

Draco smiled more naturally this time and squeezed Harry tighter, "I'm glad you at least realize that."

Harry didn't respond, too busy continuing to kiss along Draco's sensitive throat. The kisses slowly evolved from gentle and loving to increasingly passionate and hungry. Lips and tongues that once had been only gently been pressed together were now nipping and fighting for every inch of pleasure it was possible to get from this act. Draco's eyes closed and he felt quiet sounds pushing their way out of his throat. But he couldn't stop them. And he couldn't stop himself from falling into this feeling. He fell into everything with Harry. It wasn't a choice that he actively made. One moment he'd be standing on his own feet, using rationality and then suddenly he wasn't in control anymore. Suddenly he was falling and there was nothing he could do to stop it. All he could do was enjoy it until he eventually hit the ground and shattered.

He felt on the verge of tears as that last thought ran through his mind. To combat this feeling of sadness he pulled Harry away a little and viciously plundered the boy's welcoming mouth.

He could feel Harry's lips curving into a smile and the warmth gathering between his legs as his organ began to swell. Harry's hands traveled downwards and almost roughly grabbed hold of Draco's ass, pulling their groins together.

Draco's body reacted instantly. He was almost shocked by how quickly he became hard with Harry. It took so very little to get them going like this. And as soon as it started, their bodies were unable to stop.

Their steady kiss finally stopped and Harry was breathing hard. He smiled a little, "Bed?" he asked.

"No time." Draco responded. Neither of them was going to be able to stop and transfigure a bed. Instead, Draco led them both over to the window seat and gently pushed Harry down onto the ever growing pile of cushions.

Harry smiled at him, obviously approving of this before he quickly pulled his shirt over his head and unbuttoned his jeans.

Draco did the same, quickly shoving his trousers down around his ankles and stepping out of them. Harry smiled wide and willing at him. Draco tried to do the same but the smile felt odd on his face. He instead pulled his green t-shirt off and threw it to the ground before he straddled Harry's lap, not even caring that the Gryffindor hadn't gotten his jeans all the way off.

Draco wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders and kissed him lightly before rocking his hips and whispering, "In."

Harry didn't need to be told twice. Draco felt the way his entrance twitched in anticipation when Harry said the lubrication charm in the gruff voice he always had when he was extremely aroused. And then Draco felt the head pushing against him. They certainly weren't wasting time. But Draco couldn't be arsed to care. He just wanted it in. He wanted to fall. He wanted to be full of something other than guilt. He wanted to be full of _Harry_.

The first inch slid in relatively easily. Harry half reclining against the frosty window, his hands free to guide Draco's hips downward on his perfect length. Draco allowed himself to be pushed down further. It was only slightly painful now. But he sort of liked it that way tonight. A little punishment was due him for the lies he spouted one after the other.

Draco cried out loudly as he slipped another three inches in much too quickly for him to adjust. Harry instantly stopped, pulling Draco into a kiss.

"I'm sorry love. I'll go slower." He whispered.

"No." Draco replied quickly not even caring that Harry was obviously confused at his reaction, "Just put it in."

Harry paused for a moment, but his member was achingly needy and with an invitation like that, he couldn't resist for long. He was thrusting his hips up a little as he pushed Draco down further and further. Every time Draco started to think he must've had it all in, there was always another inch more that he was desperately trying to fit inside his tight body.

Finally in an attempt to end this game, Draco grabbed Harry's shoulders roughly and forced himself downwards. He finally got all of Harry into him but at a cost. His insides cramped painfully at the abuse but Draco only gritted his teeth and slowly started rocking.

But Harry's hands stilled him, "What the hell is wrong with you Draco? Did you really want it in that badly?" Harry asked, his voice sounding much clearer.

"Yes." Draco barked out and it actually was true; well… mostly true, "Please Harry…" he whispered as he began to rock his hips again.

Harry's brows were drawn together in worry but he released Draco's hips, freeing the blond to move as he pleased. Draco didn't waste time. He started moving his body up and down Harry's firm length loving the feeling of being penetrated. Why had he always thought of bottoming as weak? It was perfect. It was amazing. It was exactly what his body had always wanted most. He just hadn't realized it until Harry had shown him.

The worry melted off of Harry's face and was replaced by pleasure as Draco kept up a steady rhythm. He listened to Harry's sighs and groans and it made the pleasure inside his own body swell and swell until he wasn't sure he could contain it without bursting.

Harry looked heavenly in the lighting. Silver suited him nicely. It lit his skin perfectly, made his raven colored hair glisten. Cast shadows across his stunningly gorgeous face. And he was obviously fully enjoying Draco's body. It gave Draco surge after surge of pride at seeing how good he could make Harry feel. He kept the pace slow, not wanting to come. He wanted to just maintain this feeling for as long as he possibly could. It was sensual and delicate rhythm that Draco continued.

He loved the feeling of Harry sliding inside of him. There was nothing that compared. And for a moment, he could feel whole again. He could feel worthy of Harry's obvious affection. For a moment, this tower room and Harry were the only things that mattered in the world. And Draco felt free again.

They continued on that way for a very long time. Hours in fact. Draco's mood improved with each second that passed. He couldn't stay depressed and guilty when he was full of so many other things; ecstasy and cock just to name a couple. Harry didn't rush the pace. He welcomed Draco's new, slow but steady take on intercourse. Draco continued to lift and drop himself back down on Harry's impossibly hard organ. It felt so damn perfect when it was rubbing against Draco's sensitive inner walls. His body clamped down hard every so often as he got closer and closer to orgasm. Each time he felt close, he'd stop for a few moments in an effort to control his lust. But it got harder and harder to contain his impending explosion every time.

But he'd made it this far so he could go just another few seconds, and another few seconds after that. The beads of sweat sparkled like diamonds as they slid down Harry's tan skin. Their heaving breath created fog in the chilled air. But it was so good that it was impossible to stop, even to stave off orgasm for just another few minutes.

Draco wanted nothing else but to reach completion with Harry in his arms. To feel Harry's liquid spray into his tender and well plowed entrance. He wanted nothing else in the world but to do this every night. He wanted to hold Harry close like this every night. And not only that, he wanted to _deserve_ to hold Harry close every night.

"Oh…" Harry whispered his fingers digging harder and harder into the soft skin on Draco's sides, "God… I can't hold it much longer." He said, every muscle in his body trembling as he tried to restrain himself.

Draco kissed a few drops of sweat from Harry's brow, enjoying the salty taste on his lips. He wasn't going to make Harry wait any longer. After all, his body had been on the razors edge of explosion for a long while now. Harry's hand knew exactly how to stroke his hardened member. Harry's hand was as skilled as Draco's own when it came to keeping Draco right at his peak but never allowing him to go over into climax. It was perfect but Draco's body was refusing to take anymore. His body was shaking uncontrollably and his insides were clenching and unclenching rhythmically as he finally, after hours of steady rocking, began to pick up the pace.

As soon as he did so, all of the pleasure they'd been trying to control rocketed out of their realm of influence. There was nothing either of them could do now except for ride out the chaos of ecstasy as it totally engulfed them, and hope that they made it out alive on the other side.

It hit him all at once and suddenly he was screaming at the top of his lungs and coming, coming, coming. He had never had an orgasm like this. Not ever. The surges of pleasure reached deeper than they ever had before, causing a flash burn in his heart as he poured his soul out of his cock in a sticky fluid that stuck to both of their chests. He was screaming so loud he could hardly believe his own ears. And he was shaking and clenching and sweating and clinging to Harry for dear life. Begging God to let his heart make it through his other worldly orgasm.

And then Harry was coming with him, announcing his completion with just as much enthusiasm. The exquisite sounds of absolute nirvana clawing their way out of Harry's mouth as his cock exploded deep inside of Draco's body. Harry's hands were squeezing so hard that Draco knew they would leave dark bruises on his pale skin. But he didn't care. He wanted it all. It was proof that Harry loved him.

Yes. Harry loved him.

Draco smiled as Harry rode out the rest of his orgasm and finally they sat there completely still. Harry's softening cock still buried totally inside Draco's warm cavern. Draco couldn't even move to lift his hips off of Harry. His legs were still shaking, his muscles weak with overexertion and total euphoria.

He couldn't even explain how he suddenly felt this good. Hadn't that night started only with self pity and guilt? None of that existed here in this fantasy world Draco built with Harry every night they met together like this.

They kissed each other slowly, not bothering to say a word. There was no need for words. Everything could be communicated in kisses and touches and love. Yes, love.

Draco just wished he could say that he loved Harry. But he couldn't.

That wasn't a lie he was willing to tell.

* * *

don't you all know how much I love reviews by now?


	29. Chapter 29

Sorry this chap was sorta… uh.. not good. XD at least I thought so. But my beta thought it was good so hopefully you all do to.

I was in a rush to write since so many things are going on. Death in family + Finals+ plus moving out next week = little time to sit and write.

Chapter 29

"Still…" Hermione said, her eyes glazed over in deep thought, "Something just doesn't seem right about all of this."

Ron rolled his eyes and shifted his bag on his shoulder as they walked to a table towards the back of the library, "You've been saying that for days, but none of us know what happened in Hogsmeade last weekend. And worrying about it isn't going to bring some magical enlightenment."

Harry groaned as he sank down into the hard chair at the table, "Can we please just stop talking about this right now. It's giving me a headache."

Hermione's school bad thudded against the table as she put it down, "Ignoring it doesn't make it go away, you know? Admit there's something seriously wrong with all of this."

"Of course there's something wrong 'Mione. Katie was attacked, obviously." Ron said.

"That's not what I meant. I suspect… well I suspect that it was a student that did this." Hermione said her voice dropping as she mumbled her next words, "Of course I don't have any evidence yet…"

"Exactly so just—" Harry started but Hermione cut him off with her thoughts.

"There's only one person I think it could've been though. He's got motive, ability, access, and no alibi so far as I know. But how do you prove something that no one saw…"

"Well who do you think it was? We can go from there can't we?" Ron asked as he pulled out a few rolls or parchment.

Harry wanted to tell them to just do their damn essays and stop talking about it. It wasn't that it didn't bug him just as much. He just couldn't do anything about it right now. He looked up for just a moment at he saw Draco walk in. Crabbe and Goyle were right behind him but Draco didn't seem to be paying them much attention. His bright eyes where aimed straight at Harry. Harry only looked back.

Draco gave him the smallest of nods and smiles before heading off to find his own table to study at.

There was something wrong with Draco.

Harry could feel it, even if he couldn't see any proof. Draco wasn't acting particularly different. But there was just something off. Harry didn't know what it was, and at this moment, he felt so overwhelmed by everything going on that he didn't think he would be able to dig out the truth.

"I think it was Draco Malfoy." Hermoine whispered making Harry's head whip around so quickly the room spun.

"What?" he asked, "Why the fuck would you think that? There's no way he could've done that to Katie." Harry whispered back harshly.

"Think about it Harry. I looked into that necklace. It was being sold and Borgin and Burkes." Hermione said leaning forward a little as though this somehow made thier conversation more private.

"That's a public store 'Mione. Anyone could have bought it." Ron added and Harry nodded in agreement.

"For nearly 2 million Galleons? There aren't a lot of people with that much money. And it had to be a student. Someone else coming in would've been noticed and instantly suspect. This was an inside job. Someone who could freely move between Hogsmeade and Hogwarts. So that narrows the list of suspects to students here with the money to buy the necklace. Still no one can just spend that much money and not expect their parents to notice. So the students parents must've allowed it. Only a few parents I can think of would allow that."

"Death Eaters you mean?" Ron asked.

"Exactly." Hermione continued, "Rich Death Eaters who would be okay if their child was taking on such a dangerous task."

Harry had to admit that did seem to back the tiniest bit of sense. But it couldn't have been Draco. There were plenty of other Slytherins that could've done it.

"Harry you said you saw Blaise and Pansy in Honeydukes so it wasn't them. And there was a strange lack of Slytherins in the Three Broomsticks. And Harry, where was your invisibility cloak that day?" Hermione asked.

"I forgot in the…" he paused a minute. It was true he'd forgotten it in the tower room the day before the Hogsmeade trip. But that still didn't count for much.

"You see? Motive, he's a Death Eaters son. Ability, he had the money and he had parents that wouldn't care. Access, he could easily have gotten in and out of Hogsmeade especially since Harry's cloak was missing. And Alibi—"

"Draco had detention with McGonagall that day. Ask her yourself." Harry said, "And I know it wasn't him. Just trust me."

"Wait a minute…" Ron said slowly, "How would you know if Malfoy had detention? And how in the hell did you forget your invisibility cloak? And how would Malfoy be able to get it even if you did?"

Harry just stared at his best friend trying for a moment to think of a way to either side step those questions, or answer them as tactfully as possible so that Ron wouldn't pass out from shock.

Harry glanced over at Hermione for help but she only shook her head and leaned back, crossing her arms. She wasn't going to help him with this. Harry sighed. Well Ron had been rather accepting and kind when he'd found out that Harry was gay. This wasn't that much different.

"Okay so um… you know how I'm seeing a guy right?" Harry started hoping that even as oblivious as Ron could be, that would be enough for him to connect the dots.

Ron's eyes got as big as saucers, "M-Malfoy? Are you kidding me?" he asked half laughing as though hoping this were some huge joke.

Harry only shrugged. He wasn't really allowed to say much about it anyway.

"Holy shit…" Ron said looking just a bit green, "You're not kidding are you?"

Very suddenly the redhead stood up and quickly shoved all of his things back into his bag, "I'll see you two later." He muttered hastily before nearly running for the door.

"He just needs some time to cope." Hermione said quietly as though that somehow helped.

Harry banged his head onto the table a few times hoping that would stop how overwhelmed he felt. It didn't. It only made his forehead hurt. After a while he just let his head rest in his folded arms on the table. Hermione gently patted his shoulder.

"I know this must be a lot to deal with right now. The war, Dumbledore, dating Malfoy, this whole thing with Katie, the Quidditch match coming up in a few weeks, your homework, and the fact that Draco is a viable suspect. Plus now Ron's mad and Lupin's leaving."

"Lupin's leaving?" Harry asked his voice muffled from being buried in his arms.

"Oh yes, didn't you hear? Snape's taking his place and we're getting a new potions teacher."

Harry groaned and banged his head into the table again.

"Harry stop it. You're acting like a toddler." Hermione scolded.

Harry finally sat back and took a deep breath, "I can't help it okay. I'm just really, really feeling like crap right now."

Hermione looked down for a moment and sighed, "I know that, I really do. But that's why I wanted to talk to you about this. Harry, I know all about Draco's detention. But last Saturday, McGonagall was called out on urgent business. She had Filch take care of the two detentions she'd assigned for that day."

Harry looked at her not really understanding what she was getting at. So Filch did the detention instead. No big deal. Draco still wasn't in Hogsmeade.

"Draco is a master at potions, I'm sure you know. We managed a polyjuice in 2nd year. He could certainly brew one up and he's pretty close to Snape so ingredients wouldn't be a problem. Plus he's got two faithful lackeys that would do whatever he told them. And since Filch was in charge of the detention, one wouldn't need to know much about Draco's mannerisms to pretend to be him. And they could probably get away with taking swigs of the potion during the detention too, to keep up the spell. I'm sorry but just the more I think about it the more it seems like…"

Harry listened quietly and even though he could understand the words that were coming from Hermione's mouth, he couldn't bring himself to believe that it was true. Draco wouldn't hurt Katie. Draco wasn't a Death Eater. Draco had no reason to even try something like that.

"I know this is a lot to ask since you're already dealing with so much, but I was thinking you should ask him about it. You're the only one who can really talk to him about it."

"He's not a Death Eater. He would never hurt anyone." Harry defended half heartedly.

"He may not want to hurt anyone. But do you think he'd die to save someone else? I mean you two are in a relationship but do you think he'd even die to save you?"

"Just shut the fuck up!" Harry shouted standing up quickly.

Hermione's mouth snapped shut quickly and she looked down at her lap as though ashamed of what she'd said. She even whispered, "I'm sorry."

Madame Pince quickly scurried over and ordered Harry to leave the library for using such foul language. Harry just nodded and grabbed all his things before leaving.

He hadn't meant to yell but it was just too much all at once. He couldn't take it anymore. And Hermione just kept talking and talking and talking and… he couldn't stand a minute more of it. Draco was about all he had left that made him honestly happy. But it looked like he couldn't even have that anymore. The few hours a day he had to spend with Draco now had to be tainted by all this.

He was stressed out beyond belief. He felt out of control and on the verge of explosion. Even yelling like that hadn't released all the stress he was holding inside of himself.

Someone touched his shoulder and Harry only shrugged them off. He assumed it was Hermione coming to calm him down.

"I'm fine Hermione." He muttered.

"No you're not." Draco whispered, "Come on, you need to relax. Lets go to the tower room, okay."

Harry didn't even turn to look at Draco. He just stood still for a moment before nodding. Laying down with Draco sounded absolutely amazing right now. Harry glanced around a little to see if anyone was around.

"It's okay, no one's watching. Let's get going."

Harry nodded and whispered back, "Yeah, thanks."

They walked quietly down the halls. Draco wasn't touching him, wasn't holding his hand or anything. But he was close behind. Close enough that Harry felt comforted. It took them a little while to reach the tower room and even when others walked by, Draco didn't back away. That was even more comforting. And Draco didn't waste time trying to convince Harry that it was okay and that he'd be okay. Because neither of them was really sure of either of those things. The silence and lack of empty comforting words gave Harry time to begin sorting through his thoughts. By the time they reached the door to the tower room, Harry felt like he was able to function again.

It was silent, and the sun hung low and orange in the sky making the room glow a very deep amber color. Harry went instantly for the window seat. He laid down on the soft cushions and let himself relax a little. He soon felt Draco lying down behind him. Draco's arms felt great gently holding Harry. And the blonde's skin looked to be made of pure gold in this light.

Harry turned around so that he could really look at his beautiful lover. And as he expected, every inch of Draco looked golden. His skin was smooth and perfect, his eyes were bright. Harry couldn't help but smile looking at him. It made Harry smile wider as he thought of all the different ways that Draco could be beautiful. It seemed like he was always seeing a different side of him. At night he looked like moonlight, at dawn he looked like sunlight, and now, at early evening, he looked as though he was the greatest treasure any person had ever laid eyes on.

"I'm sorry for worrying you." Harry said finally breaking the silence, "I didn't mean to. There's just a lot going on."

Draco smiled and kissed Harry's cheek before snuggling into his chest, "I know, I know." He said quietly, "You don't have to explain."

"Draco…" Harry started slowly. He wasn't sure he wanted to bring this all up but he knew that only by clearing the air would he be able to truly stop worrying. He held Draco against him tightly, "Did I do something that made Blaise and Pansy mad? Like am I taking up too much of your time or something?"

Draco lay very still for a long moment before he sighed. Harry could feel the small rush of air against his skin, "Did you talk to them?" Draco asked.

Harry chuckled a little, "I tried; it didn't work out very well."

"Yeah, I should've told you. I tried but I thought you'd be too disappointed in me." Draco said squeezing Harry a little tighter before sighing again, "They don't remember you."

"What do you mean they don't remember me?" Harry laughed again, "They certainly remembered how much they used to hate me."

"Iobliatedem." Draco muttered into Harry's chest.

Harry gently pushed Draco back from him and tried to catch his eyes, "You what?"

Draco continued to look away, "I obliviated them."

Harry's hands instantly let go of Draco's shoulders. He backed away from him not sure how to react to that sort of news. Draco obliviated his own friends? Why? It didn't even matter why, how could he _ever_ do such a thing?

Draco smiled sadly, "I knew you'd be mad…"

"I'm not mad." Harry said.

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not, okay? I'm not mad just… shocked. How could you do something like that? Why would you?" Harry asked.

Draco only shrugged, "I had to. Things are getting dangerous now Harry. If I'd let them continue to know, it'd put me in danger. It really is better that this stay a secret."

"You did it for yourself?" Harry asked as Hermione's words started to run through his mind again.

"Not just me, them too. Death Eaters aren't above torture for information you know. And I did it for you too."

Harry shook his head and sat up, "Why are things getting so much more complicated now?" he mumbled to himself.

Draco sat up too and ran his hands through his hair. Harry noticed it was getting longer but it looked a little thinner than it used to. Now that Harry looked actually, Draco was looking a little thinner, and slightly paler too. But the boy still smiled at him.

"Draco this is gonna sound totally stupid but, Hermione said something earlier and I just… well, if you had the choice between saving yourself and saving me which on would you choose?"

Draco gave Harry a weird look, "What the hell kind of question is that?"

Harry shrugged, "Just answer."

Draco looked right into Harry's eyes, "I can't."

Harry stared at Draco for a few seconds, "What the fuck do you mean, 'you can't'?"

"It's a trick question, how the hell am I supposed to answer?" Draco asked, anger finally showing in his voice.

"It's pretty god damn simple. There's only two options." Harry shouted.

"Don't fucking yell at me over your stupid question. I can't answer!" Draco yelled back.

"You didn't even try!"

Draco sighed and closed his eyes for a moment as though really thinking deeply. Finally he answered, "It depends on how we were gonna die, okay? If it was something painless I'd choose for you to die and then I'd just join you later."

Harry opened his mouth to reply but then stopped, "You mean kill yourself?"

Draco rolled his eyes, "Of course you idiot. I couldn't live if you were dead. It's a trick question Harry. I'm selfish if I choose to save myself, and still selfish if I chose to die without asking how you'd feel about it. You think you'd be happy to see me die?"

"Of course not." Harry answered quickly.

"And you think it's okay for me to just 'save you' while I'm hurting you too?" Draco asked.

Harry scratched his head a little. He hadn't really thought of it like that. But in all honesty, he'd probably be a little pissed at Draco if he chose to die for him. He wouldn't even be happy that he'd been saved if Draco was dead.

"Sorry. I really am an idiot aren't I?" Harry smiled a little.

Draco rolled his eyes and let out the breath he'd been holding. He hugged Harry close, letting his head rest on Harry's chest. Harry smiled a little wider and gently kissed Draco's pale hair. The sun was sinking past the horizon now, its last rays of light still reaching up into the sky.

"Draco… I just have one more question." Harry started slowly.

Draco sighed, "Just ask."

Harry took a deep breath. He'd already sounded like an idiot, so it wasn't like it could get any worse. And he just couldn't quell his worry. The things Hermione had been saying, even though he didn't want to believe them, actually did make sense. So he had to ask Draco. He just had to.

"Where were you when we all went to Hogsmeade?"

Harry felt Draco stiffen in his arms. The blond backed away from him again, "I had a detention. With McGonagall." He snapped, "I told you that already."

"No… you would have had a detention with Filch. McGonagall was away that day."

Draco paused before sighing dramatically, "Why are we even talking about this? I had the detention. I served the god damn detention. No big deal."

It really did hurt Harry to say his next words, but they needed to be said, "You… You don't know anything about what happened to Katie, right?"

Draco looked stung by the words and he backed away even further, "What the hell are you implying? That _I'm_ the one who cursed her?"

"It just… it does seem weird to me the my cloak was missing and you were in detention and Katie was cursed all on the same day." Harry said but his voice sounded weak. He didn't want to believe that Draco was capable of _killing_ anyone. And from what Hermione had said, that's exactly what that necklace was intended for.

Draco stood up in a hurry, "I came here to fucking help you. And all you can do is accuse me of things and ask me stupid questions. Well fuck you! You can stay here by yourself for all I care."

"Draco, please—" Harry started, reaching out to grab his lover's wrist. But Draco snatched his hand away.

"Leave me alone." He said darkly, his eyes full of more anger than Harry had ever seen.

With that, Draco turned and left the room in a hurry. Harry sighed and slumped back against the window. That certainly wasn't how he'd wanted that conversation to go. This day was getting progressively worse. First, his good friend accusing his boyfriend of attempted murder and second, his boyfriend yelling at him for even bothering to ask about it. What was the most disheartening though was that Draco hadn't said a single word in defense of his whereabouts or actions. He'd only gotten angry at Harry for questioning them. Which in the end, didn't remove any of the suspicion from Draco. In fact, it made it worse.

Unbeknownst to Harry, outside in the hall, Draco was hyperventilating. He leaned against the hard stone wall as his mind raced with hundred of possible lies and alibis.

Harry knew…

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	30. Chapter 30

I'm so very, very sorry that I skipped a week in updating. Please forgive me! It will never happen again. I've just been so busy. And on top of that I had another personal tragedy to deal with. So much…. Sorry guys, and my bit of depression might show in my work. But I really didn't mean to let you down.

Thanks for waiting and please leave a review at the end.

-Shinosuke

Chapter 30

Draco sighed as he stirred his cauldron. Blaise and Pansy were sitting on his bed rambling about something mindless and unimportant. Right now Draco had too many things on his mind to even worry about them.

He was thinking of ways to kill Ginny Weasley and get away with it. There weren't many. She was hardly ever alone. She was careful and quiet most times he saw her. There weren't a lot of ways he could think of in which to kill her. Especially without casting even more suspicion on himself.

He'd thought he'd gotten away with asking Katie to give that package to her. But somehow, Harry had found out. And though it was obvious, Harry wasn't totally sure it was him, just the fact that Draco was a suspect was worrying. He couldn't slip up here, or he'd be spending the rest of his life in Azkaban. But there really was no way for him to kill her without getting caught.

Luckily, this potion seemed like it would do the trick. It was perfect. It probably wouldn't kill her, but it would put her in a coma. That was good enough for now. All Voldemort wanted was for Ginny to stop seeing his plans. And if she was unconscious there'd be no way she would. Plus, this was the strongest potion he could give her without leaving traces of the evidence in her blood. It was no secret he was an expert with potions. So if it was discovered she'd been poisoned, his wand would be snapped for sure. No, this would be good enough.

All that was left was how to get her to drink it.

Xx-XxX-xX

Ginny Weasley suffered through her potions class like every other Gryffindor. Snape really wasn't that hard to deal with. All she had to do was stay quiet and do the assignments as well as she could. Luckily, Ginny wasn't all that bad at potions.

For the past few days they'd been brewing an anti-anxiety potion meant to bring serenity and calmness to the drinker. She'd been partnered with Colin Creevy. He wasn't stupid, but he could be very annoying. But she noticed he was acting a bit strangely today. He didn't say much and he didn't even ask her about Harry like he usually did. In fact he was being rather helpful today.

She wondered what was wrong but didn't pry. Ginny had a bad feeling about this class. There was something strange about the way Snape looked at her today. And there was something strange about Colin's eyes. In the middle of his pupils there was a distant foggy light. It was so faint she thought she might've imagined it but…

She wasn't stupid. Her intuition never failed her. And something was very, very wrong.

Snape stood from where he'd been writing at his desk and began to walk through the isles, inspecting the potions. Some students were scolded harshly, and the lucky ones were rewarded with a mere nod of approval. Snape passed their table rather quickly, hardly bothering to look into their cauldron. But as he passed she heard him whisper, "Well done."

Confused by the out of character comment Ginny bit her lip in thought. What could be so wrong? Why did she feel like she needed to leave, right now?

Colin ladled the silvery potion into a small cup and handed it to her. Ginny looked down at it and back up at Collin. The thin boy smiled awkwardly at her, "We're supposed to test it."

It was true that others in the class were swigging down their potions and smiling at the magically induced relaxation they felt.

"Drink it." Collin commanded her.

Ginny glanced up at Professor Snape. He wasn't looking in her direction. Collin pushed the cup closer to her.

"Drink it, Ginny. Now."

Ginny took a deep breath and plastered on a smile, "Not right now, I've got a lot of studying to do after this. I'll take it before bed."

Collin blinked as though he was confused and then shook his head, "You should drink it now."

But Ginny was firm. She grabbed an empty vial and quickly began to pour the contents of the cup into it. Collin stared at her as she placed the stopper in the vial.

"I'll drink it later. I promise." Ginny assured as she slipped the vial into her pocket.

"Right." Collin replied his voice sounding defeated.

Snape dismissed the class and Ginny hastily put her things away. She was the first to the door. She couldn't wait to get out of that classroom. As soon as she's passed through the door way the feelings of fear and uncertainty lifted off of her. She was safe again.

She walked briskly down the hallway, her bright hair blowing out behind her. The hallway seemed conspicuously full of people and she tried her best to weave her way through them unnoticed.

For a single moment her eyes flickered up and she saw Draco Malfoy. He was walking in the opposite direction and his eyes stayed on her. He was frowning.

Ginny felt a shiver of something in the air. She looked away quickly and sped up as fast as she possibly could without running over the many students in her way. There was something going on here. And she was going to find out what it was.

Xx-XxX-xX

"You're sure you forgive me?" Harry asked.

"Positive." Draco replied with a half smile, "It really wasn't a big deal. I don't know why I blew up like that."

Harry shook his head and lightly kissed Draco's cheek, "I'm just glad you're not totally pissed off. I thought it would take me forever to get you to forgive me."

"Well…" Draco started, "Maybe I'll make you work a little harder for it then."

Harry rolled his eyes and smiled, "I'd do anything, you know that."

Draco's eyes still hadn't seemed to have gotten their life back. Harry wished he could do something to help, but he was afraid to ask what was wrong. Recently, anytime he'd ask Draco about anything, he usually just got yelled at. He knew Draco was rather on edge, what with finals and the pressure he was under to become a Death Eater. Harry knew that the last thing Draco needed when he came here was more pressures. He just wanted to be kind to the blond, to make Draco feel good. He wanted Draco to never have to feel stressed again.

"So umm… I've been meaning to ask you, what's up with Dumbledore. I thought he was teaching you stuff." Draco said quietly as he rested his back against Harry's chest.

Harry sighed, "Yeah I know. But he's kind of forgotten about me. I haven't even talked to him in weeks."

"That's strange…" Draco whispered.

"Yeah, it is. Umm Draco? I don't want you to take this the wrong way or anything, but… What can I do to make you happy?" Harry asked. That seemed like an appropriate question.

After their last fight, Harry had spent hours thinking about everything that he'd said. He'd realized there were dozens of ways to get the answers he wanted without upsetting Draco. He just had to learn to be more careful of his words.

Draco turned to face Harry, "How could I possibly take that wrong?" he asked with a small laugh.

Harry shrugged, "You just seem… really unhappy."

"I'm not." Draco replied too quickly, "I'm really fine. I promise."

Harry gently held Draco's hands in his own. They were kind of cold, and he could feel all of Draco's knuckles rather clearly, "You're sure?" Harry asked, not liking how vulnerable he both felt and sounded.

"Positive. Really." Draco said with a smile, "Today a few things that I'd planned went wrong but it's nothing I can't fix. Maybe that's why I seem down. But really, I'm just happy to be here with you."

Harry felt the first genuine smile of the night spread on his face. He kissed Draco's soft lips and pulled the boy closer to him, "I want to be with you forever." Harry whispered.

Draco laughed, "Wouldn't that be nice."

"What, you don't think it can happen?" Harry asked.

He felt Draco shrug, "It'd be pretty difficult. I mean… even if it did happen, what kind of life would we have?"

"Want me to tell you?" Harry asked as sleep slowly started to creep into his mind.

Draco got up and stretched quickly before he motioned for Harry to lay down. When Harry shot him a questioning look Draco only rolled his eyes and said, "You're sleepy. I can tell."

"You read me too well, you know that?" Harry said as he repositioned himself along the window seat 'til he was laying down with his back against the window.

Draco scoffed as he lay down next to Harry, "You're just easy to read."

"Probably." Harry yawned and he wrapped his arms around Draco's slim body, "Now do you want me to tell you or not?"

Draco only nodded into Harry's chest. Harry could feel that Draco was at least relaxed. Even if he was still unhappy, his mind was at rest. For now, whatever problems Draco was experiencing didn't matter.

"Well," Harry started as he let his mind wander towards the thoughts he'd been having more and more frequently, "We're both filthy rich but I don't think we'd have a big house. More like something small and cozy, away from any cities. I don't think we'd have to work but I might like to anyway. I like to be lazy but having nothing to do doesn't suit me. Then again, we could just spend our time buggering each other senseless."

Harry felt Draco's light chuckle and couldn't stop his own smile. He stroked Draco's soft platinum hair and continued, "We'd be together every day. And we wouldn't have to worry about the war or anyone finding out. I'd probably spoil you rotten. You wouldn't have to lift a finger in housework and I'd do everything I could to please you. But in return I don't think I'd allow you to wear clothes very often."

Draco laughed louder, "So you'd treat me like a high class whore?"

Harry tensed a little, "That wasn't what I was shooting for but, yeah, I guess."

"I'm kidding, Harry. Plus I wouldn't mind being your personal whore on occasion."

"Will you hush and listen?" Harry asked in mock annoyance.

"Sorry." Draco muttered under his hardly contained chuckles.

Harry sighed dramatically and continued, "So yes, I'd make you my whore on occasion. And we'd live happily ever after. Of course we'd probably have to get a bigger place eventually."

"Why?" Draco asked, "I like our imaginary cozy little home."

"To make room for the kids of course." Harry responded without thinking.

Draco looked up at Harry slowly, "What?"

"Oh uh…." Harry started not sure how to explain, "Well I always wanted a big family so…"

"Well yeah but, I don't think either of us will be sprouting a uterus anytime soon."

Harry blushed and bit his lip, "There's always magic. And adoption too." Harry continued to avoid Draco's intense eyes. He was slightly embarrassed of the way he'd revealed his secret longing to have a large family. What would Draco think?

The blond kissed his chin a few times and snuggled back into his chest, "You'd make an amazing father you know."

Harry sighed a little in relief, "You too."

Draco laughed, "Yeah right. I'm selfish, impulsive, quick-tempered, sarcastic, and impatient. I'm obviously not cut out for parenthood."

"You're 16 for Merlin's sake. What 16 year old is prepared for parenthood? Plus, you're also caring and sweet and smart and I… well…"

Harry thought for a long moment. There'd been only a few words that in all their time together, Harry had yet to say. Not because he didn't know it was true, but mostly because he wasn't ready to admit it to himself. And by the time he was, he wasn't sure how Draco would react. Though the blond hadn't realized it, he'd been conspicuously avoiding those words.

"You're kind and strong willed and passionate about everything you do. You're amazing Draco and I really love you."

Harry paused for a moment, waiting for Draco to respond. When he didn't Harry gently shook his shoulder, "Draco?" he asked but the blond remained unresponsive.

Harry sighed, Draco must've been really tired. Harry lightly kissed the top of Draco's head before he closed his eyes and let himself fall asleep.

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	31. Chapter 31

Hey guys. I'm finally on time with the chapter AND for the first time in a while I'm actually quite satisfied with the way it turned out. I hope you enjoy it.

Also, JustRunAwayWithMe was kind enough to make a trailer for this story. So I figured I'd advertise it and give it a few more views on Youtube. Check it out if you'd like and leave he a comment if you're nice. .com/watch?v=V4h5HWn6ijk

And as always, you guys know I love reviews. The longer they are the better. And the more I get, the faster I crank out those chapters. I got a whole lot last week which is why I was so enthusiastic about writing this chap.

Okay enough of my rambling. Enjoy your chapter.

* * *

Chapter 31

Draco tried to keep his breathing steady for as long as he could. He kept up the charade so long that he began to feel lightheaded. But in his mind he wasn't sure what to feel—what to think.

Harry had said it. Harry had finally said those three little words that Draco had been avoiding as though his life depended on it. He couldn't say it back. He couldn't tell Harry that he loved him too. Not until he knew that really was the truth.

And the truth right now was that, Draco didn't love Harry.

It wasn't that he didn't want to love him, or that he didn't _feel_ as though he loved him. Draco wanted so very badly to be able to say those words and truly mean it with all his heart, but he couldn't.

Draco had a very strict definition of love, having seen its many variations. There is the kind of love in which one only gives it to another to feel better about themselves. There is the kind of love where one loves because the feel they need to love someone no matter who it is. And the list goes on of the different kinds or selfish, needy and untrue love.

But Draco knew that from the bottom of his heart, he truly did love Harry. For no other reason than that Harry was the most amazing person he'd ever been lucky enough to be close to. There was only one thing standing in the way.

The war.

Draco was a coward. He hid himself behind his lies. He loved Harry and yet he still fully intended to complete his mission.

Draco was sickened by himself. What the hell kind of love is that?

It wasn't a kind of love. That's the only answer he could come up with. He could not tell Harry he loved him while in the meantime, he worked in secret to kill two people he knew Harry cared about.

He would not lie to Harry. He would only tell him that he loved him when he knew, beyond any doubt, that he truly loved Harry with every part of himself. Including the parts that now were still shrouded in deceit.

Xx-XxX-xX

"I still don't understand one thing…" Hermione whispered as she sat in the library with Ron and Ginny.

"Is it the part about the exchange of atoms in living transfigurations? 'Cause I don't understand that part either." Ron said flipping through his textbook.

Hermione sighed, "Not about transfigurations. I meant about what happened to Katie."

"I hear she's finally doing much better. They say she's awake now but I haven't gotten a chance to visit her yet. But what is it you don't understand, it seems pretty clear to me. Especially all that stuff you told me about Malfoy" Ginny said as she absently played with a lock of her hair.

"Yes, I do think it was him. But there's no solid proof yet. Still, I think we can safely assume it was him but there's one thing that no one's been able to answer yet." Hermione responded.

"And what's that?" Ron asked, already sounding skeptical.

"Who was he trying to kill?" Hermione asked her brow already beginning to furrow, "The logical thought would be Dumbledore but then that brings up the question of why send the necklace in Hogsmeade."

"That's obvious." Ron asserted confidently, "He couldn't sneak it into the castle past the wards, so he had it delivered to him in Hogsmeade."

Hermione shook her head, "There are wards around Hogsmeade too. And it would've been impossible to have it delivered to him. With the increased security, there are apparation records kept in Hogsmeade that list all incoming and outgoing witches and wizards. It would take nothing to trace the necklace back to its deliverer and then to Malfoy. I think he knew that. He must've gotten it into the castle somehow and _taken_ it to Hogsmeade. Though how he could magically teleport a necklace from Borgin and Burkes into the castle, I couldn't guess."

"But that makes no sense at all." Ron continued, "If he already had it in the castle, why take it to Hogsmeade? Dumbledore's right here."

"Exactly!" Hermione exclaimed in an excited whisper, "That's what I've been trying to figure out. If I'm right, which I think I am, then he was after someone who was in Hogsmeade that day. _Not_ Dumbledore."

"Hmmm…." Ginny muttered, "That is really interesting. Maybe he was after Harry then. Harry was there."

Hermione scoffed without thinking, "He could kill Harry anytime he pleases with the rate things are going between them."

Ron's look soured visibly and he sunk down a little in his chair, "I still can't get over that. Malfoy's been awful to us for years."

"What? What're you talking about?" Ginny asked looking back and forth between the two of them.

"Harry's dating Malfoy." Ron blurted.

"Ron! Don't just say that. If someone were to hear you, you'd be putting them both in danger. And though I really don't like Draco, Harry does. And it would hurt him a lot if Draco were killed." Hermione scolded.

Ron nodded and rubbed his forehead, "Sorry. I guess I didn't think of that. I just really don't like the idea of it, you know?"

Ginny's head was spinning. Harry was dating Draco Malfoy? That was the man he had left her for? She wasn't exactly upset. She'd come to accept that she wasn't at all romantically interested in Harry. But the fact that he was dating Malfoy, seemed strange to her. She felt very uneasy about the entire situation.

"So not Harry then." Ginny whispered, "But who else in Hogsmeade would be worth targeti—"

Ginny suddenly remembered a dream she'd had a few weeks ago and she stopped mid sentence. She sat still as a statue, her eyes wide before she finally jumped up and shoved her books into her bag.

"I've got to go." She announced suddenly.

Hermione's eyes narrowed as she looked up at Ginny, 'Did you realize something?"

Ginny paused a little, considering in one split second whether or not anyone should know what she was thinking, "No, though tell me if you think of anything. I just remembered I promised to talk to Professor Binns about an essay. I'm late as it is!" Ginny exclaimed as she threw her bag over her shoulder and left the library.

She sighed as she walked briskly down the hallways in deep thought. If her dream had been right then the feelings of danger and uncertainty she'd been having lately were completely valid. Something terrible would probably happen. But she couldn't just assume that, not yet at least.

She walked into the hospital wing, trying to be quiet and indiscreet. Luckily, the place was nearly empty. There were only two beds occupied, one by a sleeping student with a cold and one by Katie Bell.

Katie was awake and reading from her textbook, probably trying to catch up on homework she'd missed. Ginny smiled and waved as she walked over to her before sitting down in the chair nearest her bed.

"Hey Katie, I'm glad you're doing better." Ginny smiled affably.

"Thanks Gin, it's hell in here. Always so quiet! How's everyone been?" Katie responded.

"Oh just fine really. Worried about you though, of course. Have you… remembered anything yet?" Ginny asked her voice dropping a little.

"You and the infamous trio getting into trouble again?" Katie laughed, "Always trying to stop the bad guys."

Ginny giggled, "Yeah. That's us." Ginny lied.

"Well…." Katie said rubbing her chin thoughtfully, "I know that I was supposed to stand at the corner of 4th Street and wait for someone before asking to talk to them in private. Then I was to give them the package and tell them only to open it when they were alone in a secure place. And that's it."

"You don't remember anything else? Who gave it to you? Who you were supposed to deliver it to?"

"No… Actually the professors think the ones I have are false memories anyway. The memories I have are like it was only going to be some school prank between students. But it's obvious the necklace was intended for Dumbledore." Katie explained.

"Right," Ginny agreed quickly, "Well, Katie I'm sorry this wasn't more of a social visit. I just stopped by to see if you were okay and what you remembered. But I've actually got a meeting with one of my Professors soon so I have to dash. I'll be back though. And I'll bring everyone."

Katie rolled her eyes and sat back into her pillows, "Yeah, I'll see you soon."

"And Katie… Would you mind not telling Hermione about your false memories. Or that I came here." Ginny added as she stood.

"Huh? Are you fighting or something?" Katie asked.

"Oh no, not at all. I just don't want her to worry right now. She's got a lot to think about. I'll give the details later. I really gotta run. See ya!" Ginny said before waving and heading off.

Ginny felt the strong urge to run to back to her bed and hide underneath the blankets like she used to when she was younger. Now she was in a panic. What Katie said confirmed Hermione's idea _and_ Ginny's dream. At least, a part of her dream. There were so many confusing things in her dreams that she wasn't sure which parts were prophesy and which parts were just stupid. So many of the thoughts were so strange it was as though they were coming from someone else's mind. Just like back in her first year…

Ginny shook those traumatic thoughts from her head. She wasn't sure what to do or where to go now. She had all this information, but no proof and no plan.

Xx-XxX-xX

"Damn it." Harry said as he kicked a cushion. It went sailing across the tower room and slammed into the wall with a muted poof.

Draco came up behind him and gently wrapped his arms around Harry's waist, resting his chin on Harry's shoulder, "Calm down, Harry. It's alright." Draco whispered.

"No, it's not." Harry said firmly before removing Draco's arms, "I'm pissed as hell right now. Dumbledore is completely ignoring me. Purposefully! It's not like he forgot, he just doesn't give a shit. He must think I'm going to die facing Voldemort."

Draco crossed his arms low across his stomach and sighed, "He could just be really busy." He whispered half heartedly.

"He's not! I don't know what I did wrong… " Harry sighed his anger finally beginning to abate.

"You didn't do anything, Harry. And you know Dumbledore wouldn't give up on you. He's always got some master plan going on in the background."

Harry turned to look at Draco and was a little shocked to see how tired and sad he looked. And here Harry had been ranting and raving for the past ten minutes, not even bothering to pay attention. He frowned a little and pulled Draco into his arms.

"I'm sorry. I must sound stupid." Harry whispered into Draco's soft hair.

"Just a little." Draco replied quietly before he hugged Harry tight, almost painfully so.

Harry was a little confused by Draco's odd behavior but he didn't know what to say, so he remained quiet. Draco felt a little thinner than last time, Harry could most certainly feel a few more sharp edges to Draco's thinning body. He was concerned but he knew it was mainly stress related. Draco was eating, Harry watched him to make sure he was.

As Draco's grip slowly started to loosen, Harry felt it was safe to ask, "What's wrong?"

The blond laughed a little, "You don't want to know."

"Oh come on, Draco. We're past that now. You know that I want to know everything about you, good and bad." Harry said before lightly kissing the soft skin beneath his ear.

Draco pulled away from the smile a little and nodded before moving to recline on the window seat. Harry sat behind him and Draco leaned against his chest. Harry wrapped his arms around Draco and held him nice and tight.

"So are you going to tell me?" Harry asked finally.

Draco paused for a moment before he responded with a very long sigh, "My birthday's in a few days."

Harry tried to suppress his laughter but failed miserably, "That's all! And here I was honestly worried for a moment."

Draco elbowed him lightly, "It's not funny. I feel like I'm getting so old. Like time is passing me by so quickly and there's nothing I can do to stop it. It's like being on a speeding broom that you can't get off of."

Harry sobered a little as he listened to Draco but still he couldn't accept that Draco turning another year older was bad.

"You should be happy you're turning 17. I'll make you a cake if you want." Harry smiled as he imagined the shining look on Draco's face whenever he was greeted by anything sugary.

The boy was silent for a long moment before he tentatively whispered, "Will it be chocolate?"

Harry chuckled, "It'll be whatever flavor you want it to be, love."

Draco absently played with Harry's fingers for a few seconds before he said, "It's already March you know… the school year will be over very soon."

Harry let his head fall back against the cold stone wall behind him and he looked up at the ceiling, "Well…" he started, not exactly sure what he was going to say, "We'll have to make the best out of the rest of the time we have, won't we?"

He felt Draco nod and was surprised when Draco took one of his hands and placed it between his legs. He was surprised even further at the erection that had already developed there. They hadn't been having sex as often as they were just a few weeks ago; mostly because they were both becoming increasingly busy. And even though, three seconds ago Harry hadn't known he wanted sex, now it was clear as day to him that he wanted it more than ever. Out of instinct and familiarity, Harry instantly started stroking Draco through his trousers. He heard Draco's breath catch a little and leaned down to kiss the side of his neck feeling his own body respond and begin to ready itself for intercourse.

Draco turned his head and coaxed Harry into a soft kiss. Harry was filled with warmth at the feeling of Draco's lips against his. He felt as though he were floating off to a place where time didn't exist and Dumbledore didn't exist and Voldemort didn't exist. They were in a world that included only themselves.

"Draco…" Harry whispered against his lover's lips as he continued to fondle him through his pants, "I want you inside me tonight."

Draco moaned quietly against his lips, his hands shaking a little as he helped Harry to unbuckle his belt and start in on the ever annoying buttons of his fly. Harry knew for a fact that Draco liked when Harry whispered in his ear all of the ways he would pleasure his body. It made Draco nearly tremble with anticipation every time. And even though Harry had a little trouble saying certain words without blushing, he was gradually getting better at it. For Draco's sake.

Draco turned around, straddling Harry's lap and kissing him with abandon. Harry lifted his hips a little as he began to take off his own pants. Draco was very helpful with this, his hands caressing Harry's skin in the process. They both seemed rather hungry for each other tonight, especially since they'd finally be switching positions. Though Harry absolutely loved fucking Draco there was just something about the way Draco slid inside him that he couldn't forget. He missed the feeling and he was glad he'd be getting it tonight. Suddenly, even though Harry had been a bit worried that Draco was getting thinner, he realized that the blonde's strength had not diminished a bit. Draco tore Harry's shirt open, the buttons popping off and bouncing along the stone floor.

Harry arched his back into Draco's warm hands, encouraging to boy to touch him, to explore his skin. Draco's lips slid down to Harry's neck where he quickly started nipping at him, biting almost hard enough to change the pleasure to pain, but not quite. It was as though Draco knew exactly when the pain would become too much, and then he'd start littering soft kisses over Harry's abused neck as if asking forgiveness for being so naughty.

Harry wanted to laugh at his own thoughts but could only gasp as Draco gently pinched one of his nipples, gently rolling the small nub between his thumb and forefinger.

Harry felt odd having just his torn open shirt on while Draco was still nearly fully clothed. He tugged determinedly on Draco's shirt showing what he wanted. Draco quickly acquiesced, pulling his tshirt off his head and pushing his pants down and off. Harry laughed a little as Draco became frustrated with his pants, having forgotten to kick off his shoes first.

Draco's silver eyes pinned him with a lust filled glare that was enough to silence him.

Harry leaned a little farther back against the wall behind him, lifting his hips in an inviting way and licking his lips. Part of him was hoping Draco would gift him with a few minutes of his skilled tongue first, but the rest of him sensed that if he were given that pleasure he wouldn't be able to hang on very long while Draco fucked him. Yes that's what it would be. They'd first hand experienced the difference between having sex and making love. But tonight Draco was going to _fuck_ him. And Harry was going to enjoy every minute.

Draco's hands almost frantically searched the cushions and his discarded trousers for his wand. When he found it, he wasted no time in whispering the ever familiar lubrication charm. Harry groaned loudly as Draco's slick hand gently stroked him for a moment.

"Is it just me, or has this gotten bigger?" Draco whispered his voice husky with sex as he tugged lightly on Harry's cock.

Harry bucked up into his hand a little and bit his lip to gain control over himself before he spoke, "I-I don't know. Is it?" Harry whispered breathlessly before he looked downward to examine himself.

Harry had never been the kind of guy that broke out measuring tape when he got an erection but he knew he was somewhere between 8 and 9 inches. But the cock that stood proudly between his legs now was no less than 9 and very possibly could've been closer to 10.

Draco bit his lip a little his eyes showing nothing but longing before he bent down and sucked the head of Harry's cock into his mouth. At the feeling of being enveloped in Draco's hot, wet mouth, Harry moaned and thrust upward roughly. Draco didn't stop him, letting Harry's cock slide a little further into his mouth. It was amazingly erotic and only slightly humorous to see Draco working hard to try and fit as much as he could of Harry's rather large organ into his mouth. Harry's hand trembled a bit as he stroked Draco's hair, encouraging him and thanking him at the same time.

Draco's mouth left him in a split second and Harry was quite upset at the loss. Until, of course, Draco's mouth traveled farther south, trailed wet, breathy kisses along his balls and inner thighs. Harry lifted his hips as far as he could knowing they were in an awkward position but not caring enough to change it.

When Draco's lips and tongue slowly began to work his entrance, they both let out a moan. Harry wasn't sure why this act was pleasurable to Draco but then again he wasn't sure of a lot of things at that moment. His mind was clouded with lust and ecstasy. Harry felt Draco's tongue press inside and he begged for more, pleading with Draco not to stop this wonderful assault on his sensitive nerve endings.

But of course, it had to end. Draco came up smiling and wiped him mouth with the back of his hand.

"Fuck me now." Harry almost demanded and Draco was quick to oblige.

He pressed in two fingers first, testing how tight Harry was after months of only being the top. Harry was a little upset about this. He was anxious to have Draco inside of him and yet the blond kept finding ways to stall.

"Come on." Harry nearly whined as he moved his hips again, hoping to beckon Draco inside, "I want it now."

"So impatient." Draco mock scolded, shaking his finger at Harry.

Draco pulled Harry gently so that he was lying flat on his back on all of the pillows that were always on the hard window seat. Harry immediately lifted his legs as far as he could. It was true he was impatient, but he didn't care. He just wanted Draco in him. That was all he could think about.

Draco wasted no more time and Harry let out a heart wrenching moan as he was finally given what he wanted. Draco slid in quickly, despite the resistance of Harry's tight entrance. And once his hips had thrust forward that first time, it was though he was unable to stop. Immediately, he drew back and thrust in again, and then again and again.

Harry was crying out loudly but he didn't care at all. It just felt so _good_. Draco leaned down close over him and Harry lifted himself to his elbow, stretching out his neck so that he could kiss Draco's lips. He tasted himself there but he wasn't upset about it. They couldn't keep their mouths closed as Draco almost brutal acquisition continued. They were breathing much too hard, but that didn't stop them from trying.

And then Draco's hand was on Harry's cock and he knew it was over. It was too much, Draco was too much. He wouldn't last another 5 minutes. But Draco seemed to know that, as though he could read Harry's body perfectly. He probably could. Draco was always amazing at stroking Harry. Harry was always in awe of how well Draco seemed to read his mind. Draco's hand pleasured Harry better than Harry could even pleasure himself. He knew Harry's every desire and he gave it all to him.

Finally feeling his shoulders start to hurt, Harry broke their sad attempt at a kiss and fell back flat on the pillows. Harry bucked upwards again, signaling to Draco that it was really becoming too much now. He was gonna come so hard! He could feel it building up, the pleasure mounting and his body prepared to spill everything it had to give.

Draco seemed to be nearing his end as well. Harry knew by the bright pink of his cheeks and the breathy little sounds he was making from his parted lips. Draco's fingers dug hard into Harry's hips and his thrusts became harder and faster, which was saying something considering he had already been fucking Harry harder and faster than he ever had before.

Harry's eyes were wide open as his body began to tighten in preparation for the orgasm of his life. He was in totally amazement of the being above him. Draco was so damn beautiful, so perfect, so… there weren't even enough adjectives. Even with sweat dripping from his brow and pure lust written in his bright eyes he was still gorgeous. His lip curling up in a tiny sneer as the ecstasy became too much for him, his skin glowing in the moonlight making his perfect pink blush even more apparent.

And then Harry couldn't keep his eyes open anymore. His orgasm slammed into him hard from all directions. His entire body tightened, his every muscle hard and quivering. His head was thrown back and his mouth wide open to let out his earth shattering scream of pure nirvana. But his throat was too tight to let him emit more than a few small grunts. His mind seemed to focus down on only a few things. Draco's cock pressed urgently against his prostate and his balls tightened as he sprayed his seed across his stomach. His body seemed to hollow out, everything in him of substance leaving him through his cock.

Then finally it was over and Harry nearly felt like crying. It'd been so good, so good… and now it was over. The relief and happiness and sadness all hit him at once and he felt like laughing and sobbing and the same time.

Draco came then, announcing his end loudly as he thrust in for the final time. Harry smiled as he felt Draco's hot seed coat his well used inner tunnel. And the look on Draco's face as he came was simply breathtaking. His eyes were squeezed shut, his pink lips wet and open wide as he let out his moan of completion, his brows creased just a little as though he might be in pain but Harry knew very well that he wasn't.

And then Draco was finished, his eyes opening a bit before he collapsed on top of Harry. Harry held him tight and kissed all over his face. Draco smiled weakly and started kissing him back.

They were unable to speak for a few long minutes, choosing instead to communicate with their bodies; through soft kisses and gentle touches. Eventually, Draco's now flaccid cock slipped out of Harry, leaving the Gryffindor feeling empty. If he wasn't totally sure that he wouldn't be able to come again for at least an hour or so he would've asked Draco to fuck him again.

Finally finding his voice again Harry whispered, "That was so good, Draco."

He felt the blond nod in agreement before responding in a low whisper, "We'll have to do that more often."

"Definitely." Harry breathed as he continued kissing along Draco slightly sweaty skin.

They lay thus for a long while, waiting to recover.

"I love you." Harry whispered. And the words felt so good on his lips because he knew they were totally true. He was so in love with Draco he could hardly think straight, hardly remember what it was like not to love him. How was it possible that Harry had ever hated him? It made no sense to him now.

Draco was silent for a long time but Harry knew it was much too soon for him to have fallen asleep.

"Draco?" Harry asked gently shaking his shoulder.

Draco looked up at him but there was no longer happiness on his face. Instead his eyes were reluctant to meet with Harry's. As though he were ashamed.

Xx-xX

"What's wrong?" Harry asked lightly cupping Draco's cheek with his hand.

Draco sighed letting his eyes close, and nuzzling his cheek into Harry's warm palm. In his mind he tried to think of a way to get out of this but there wasn't one. He'd just have to be honest. Honesty was scary for him. It was too open, too real. With lies he could paint the world to be whatever he wanted it to be. He could make _himself_ what he wanted to be. But honesty took away his cover, took away his safety and showed all of his flaws with glaring precision.

He looked at Harry again and opened his mouth to reply but the words wouldn't come out.

The worry in Harry's soft jade eyes was too much to take. He leaned down and kissed Harry's lips hoping this would serve as both explanation and apology. But he knew it wouldn't.

Harry seemed a bit confused as their lips parted, "Tell me." He whispered softly making Draco almost wince.

"I…I can't say it." Draco replied.

Harry frowned, "You can tell me anything."

Draco shook his head, "I mean I can't say 'I love you too'." Draco muttered slowly.

Harry seemed to absorb this very slowly. He stared up into Draco's eyes and already Draco could tell this wasn't going to go very well. Sure Gryffindors were kind and understanding but that only goes so far.

"Why not?" Harry asked his voice shaking a little with uncertainty.

Already Draco could see the pain and confusion working their way into Harry's features. He was probably wondering if it was some defect in him that made it hard for Draco to say he loved him. And of course that couldn't be farther from the truth. Harry was amazing. He was everything Draco had ever wanted. But unfortunately, he was also everything Draco could never have.

"I want to. God you don't know how much." Draco tried to explain, "But I won't say it 'til it's true. I may… lie about a lot of things. But I won't lie to you about that."

Harry looked away for a moment and Draco braced himself to be pushed away and yelled at.

He was so shocked his heart nearly stopped when Harry's arms wrapped around him and squeezed him tight to his chest.

"Take your time, Draco. I'm not going anywhere." Harry whispered into his neck.

Draco felt on the verge of sobbing now. Half out of relief and half out of sheer amazement of the man that was holding him. He remembered thinking about the way everyone seemed to worship the ground Harry walked on when they were younger. He remembered thinking that Harry was stupid and couldn't possible be as nice as everyone said. But he'd been oh so wrong.

Harry was otherworldly. This man couldn't possibly be human. Any normal person would've been pissed off at not having their love returned. But not Harry.

No, not Harry.

He squeezed Harry back, not sure what else to do. He was overtaken by such strong emotion he felt as though he was filled with it, from head to toe.

"But you are." Draco whispered, "At the end of the year you're—"

"Shhh…." Harry cut him off before kissing his lips lightly, "Let's not worry about that. I'm just really glad you were honest with me. I prefer you honestly telling me you can't say it now than you lying and saying it when you don't mean it."

Draco shook his head, "I couldn't possibly do that to you. I just… can't believe you're being so nice about this."

Harry laughed quietly, "I'll admit it kinda hurts. But hey that's what I get for being so mean to you all those years."

At that Draco pulled away from Harry and stared right into his eyes trying to convey the seriousness of his next words, "This has _nothing_ to do with you, Harry. You're perfect. It's me who's got the issues."

Harry's eyebrows rose minutely, obviously surprised by the force in Draco's voice, "So you're saying I'm perfectly lovable but you just don't love me yet?" he half joked.

Draco rolled his eyes and cracked a smile, "You are lovable Harry. And I do… care for you a lot. But love includes honesty. And I can't say I love you while I'm still lying to you." Draco admitted.

Harry smiled a little, "Well you're being honest about this."

Draco frowned before sighing a little, "Because I don't want to lie to you, Harry. So when it's under my control, I won't. But for certain things, it's not up to me."

Harry pulled Draco back down into his warm embrace, "We don't have to talk about this right now. Let's just relax, okay?"

Draco nodded silently and closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of Harry's warm body beneath his. He had his ear to Harry's smooth chest and he could hear his heartbeat. It was like a comforting and familiar lullaby. And he hated Voldemort so much for wanting to stop that heartbeat. But he felt helpless to stop himself from joining the evil man.

He clung a little tighter to Harry knowing that this action was in vain. Eventually, he'd have to let go.

* * *

Leave a review if you're nice. Even though I don't have the time to reply to all of them, I've read every single one. Thank you so much for taking the time to review if you do, it means a lot.

And you get a yaoi cookie from the great Shinosuke. MUWAHAHA cookie. XD


	32. Chapter 32

Hey everybody, Sorry about the amazingly long wait for these next chapters. That's right, chapterS. I'm posting everything I've written so far and believe me there's tons more on the way.

The reason I had to stay away so long isn't exactly something I'm comfortable with sharing. But I'm pretty sure almost all of you would consider it valid.

I'm going to continue this story, and I will finish it. I sincerely hope my posting schedule will get back on track.

Again, sorry for the extremely long wait. I worked extra hard on these next chapters to make up for it. I hope you enjoy them. There's plenty of yaoi. XD

And please, as always, you know how much reviews inspire me to work harder.

Thanks for sticking with me this far.

-Shinosuke

Xx-XxX-xX

Chapter 32

It was totally surreal to sit through potions class without Snape there. Harry stared straight ahead at his rather portly new professor. He smiled benignly at Harry quite often. Harry wondered what the man was thinking about him. He was nearly positive he'd never seen him before.

They were concocting a potion that was said to be the most powerful pain reliever known to the wizarding world. Therefore its use was strictly regulated. They were not going to actually use it, but help Madame Pomfrey stock up on the rather difficult potion.

Harry had the misfortune of being paired up with Neville on his first day with this new professor. Harry worked hard on trying to make the potion, actively trying not to fuck up. He did that much too often in this class, and he didn't want to make a bad first impression on this Slughorn guy. He wanted to have a potions teacher who actually liked him for once, that way he might actually get the grade he deserved.

Then again, the grade he deserved probably wasn't very good either.

"Stir the potion quickly in clockwise motion for 2 and half minutes." Harry read from his textbook, instructing Neville on what to do.

A large amount of the green potion sloshed out of the cauldron and onto Harry's textbook. Luckily, with Harry's quick reflexes, he pulled his hands away in time to watch as the concoction burned its way through the many pages of his book.

"Oh! I-I'm sorry Harry. I didn't mean to—"

Harry lifted up his book carefully and he could see all the way through it. Through the hole he saw his new Professor approaching him.

Harry swallowed, trying to prepare himself for whatever the man would say. Snape would surely have yelled at him and Neville for their carelessness. But what would this new teacher say.

"Oh Harry my boy, it seems that book is out of commission. May I remind the class that until the aramanth is added, your potion is highly acidic. And you Harry, why don't you pick out a new book from the supply closet?"

Harry was at least happy that Professor Slughorn was obviously much kinder than Snape. At least to him. Harry threw his now unusable book into the bin and went to the supplies cabinet to find a new one. All of them were used, most _well used_. There was one that looked a little better off than the rest and he pulled it out from the shelf. He flipped the front cover open to examine the interior of the book.

He paused for a moment as he read the messy scrawl written in dark ink on the inside of the front cover.

**_Who's the… Half Blood Prince?_**

Xx-XxX-xX

Draco's brow furrowed as he reread the words on the scrap of parchment in his hands.

It was simple and to the point. It just told him to be in the transfigurations classroom at 5:45. Draco knew there was no class then. So someone wanted to meet him in relative private, but still not so far away from the rest of the people in the school that they couldn't go for help if they need it. Or at least, that's what he assumed.

He just couldn't figure out who would want to meet with him or why… It wasn't Harry, he knew that much for sure. It wasn't Snape either or anyone he was very close to. Any of them could've simply asked him to meet them. Not leave a note in his bag. Maybe it was Granger. This seemed like something she might do.

Draco paced the hallway a little ways away from the transfigurations room as he tried to think. It was nearing the time he was supposed to be there. But he still wasn't sure it was safe or not. But then again… what could anyone do to him? They were in Hogwarts after all. And if it were a teacher who'd found out about his… _extracurricular assignments_, they certainly wouldn't have requested to meet him in private.

Summoning his courage Draco walked right up to the classroom door. He paused a moment as he reached out for the knob, trying once and for all to decide whether this really was the right thing to do or not.

He closed his eyes for a second and took a calming breath before he stepped inside the room. At first glance it was empty. His eyes scanned the empty classroom carefully as he took one tentative step inside.

"Shut the door behind you." A female voice spoke, "And lock it."

Draco paused for a moment before obeying. Once the door was closed behind him, he didn't dare venture any further into the room. He tried to be as brave as he could but he could feel the cowardice creeping up on him.

"You can come out now. From wherever it is you're hiding." Draco said quietly, his eyes still scanning the room.

Ginny Weasley stood slowly from behind the professor's desk at the head of the classroom. Draco tried to keep his thoughts under control. He was beginning to panic a little. But he simply reminded himself he didn't know why she'd called him here. It could be for anything.

"I wasn't sure you'd come." She muttered as she began walking towards him. Draco instinctively tried to take a step backwards but only felt his back press up against the door behind him.

Seeing this, Ginny stopped and offered him a weak smile, "I know you've been dating Harry. That's not what this is about."

Draco stood still, showing no signs of distress. But internally he felt angry and a little fearful. How much was Harry telling his friends? He didn't bother asking, he wasn't sure she'd answer and that wasn't what he wanted to know anyway. What he wanted to know was—

"Then what is this about. Let's keep this short. Someone is expecting me." Draco half lied.

"Harry won't be expecting you until much later. I know today is your birthday and that you're meeting tonight." At seeing what must've been obvious embarrassment on Draco's face she quickly continued, "He used it as an excuse to get out of studying with Hermione tonight. I only overheard."

Draco's shoulders stiffened minutely. He'd certainly need to have a talk with a certain Gryffindor about sharing personal information. He could tell by the look in Ginny chocolate coloured eyes that she had a pretty good idea of exactly how they'd be celebrating his birthday. And he had to struggle to calm his emotions before he began to take on the complexion of a ripe tomato.

"But you're right." Ginny continued, "Let's keep this short."

Draco watched with growing anxiety as she reached into her pocket. She pulled out a small vial with a shiny silvery looking liquid inside of it. Draco looked away for a second to avoid showing her that he recognized it instantly.

"Don't look away, Malfoy. You know what this is." Ginny accused.

Draco swallowed hard but still could not bring himself to make eye contact with her, "What is it then?" he asked her. He knew she couldn't know what it was. It was a potion that only very few knew existed, let alone how to make it or recognize it. He'd done it that way on purpose.

"I don't know. That's what I want you to tell me. And before you start spouting lies, I do know that you're trying to kill me. I don't know why and I don't know exactly what you were planning with this potion. But I want to know."

Draco sighed and took a step forward before pulling out a chair and sitting in it. Since she already knew there wasn't much he could say. He couldn't deny that it was true. All she'd have to do was go to Dumbledore with that potion and he would **be**expelled in a minute. Draco sighed a little, "I can't tell you why. If I did, I really would have to kill you. It's better that you don't know."

Ginny walked quickly towards him and sat in the chair next to his. Draco leaned away feeling quite uncomfortable at her closeness.

"It's my dreams isn't it?" She whispered, "I never realized until recently what they meant. Or why I so frequently had them the same nights that Harry did. But I think I do now."

Draco tried to keep his facial expression calm as he nodded, "And the potion…" he started slowly. In his mind he was still trying decide what to say about it**—w**hether to lie or be honest.

"It's to put you to sleep." He finally finished.

Ginny's eyes narrowed, "Just to sleep?"

"Well sorry if I look like a murderer, but I really don't want to become one. You-Know-Who just wants you out of the way so you don't give out information. A coma is good enough." Draco said in a rush, unable to control the words as they rushed past his lips.

"But I'll never wake up." she whispered examining the vial in her hand.

Draco paused for a moment before looking away from her, "You can. There is an antidote. But the soonest you'd get it is the end of the school year. But then… why are you asking all this. It's not as though you're going to drink it." Draco sighed as he already began considering a new plan on getting Ginny out of the way.

But she didn't respond to him. Instead she just continued to stare down at the vial. Draco suppressed the glimmer of hope in his chest with all his effort.

"You're not going to… right?"

"It will help you if I'm out of the way for a few months." Ginny said. Draco wasn't sure how to respond so he stayed silent, "And if I help you, it may buy you some favor with You-Know-Who, right? Then maybe… you could help our side. Harry's side…" Ginny finished slowly.

Draco wasn't sure what to do in this situation. He nearly had the girl willing to drink the potion all by herself. He could lie and say it was totally safe. It would buy him some more time, maybe he wouldn't have to get the Dark Mark as soon as Snape said he would. He would prove himself useful, and he would no longer be on the chopping block.

He stood and paced a little as he tried to think of what to do. Either way, the girl was Harry's friend. Hurting her would not go over well with him… But then all Draco had to do was remember what it felt like seeing her lips sucking all over his face and he suddenly didn't care so much about that.

"I've made up my mind." Ginny said standing as well, "I'll drink it."

Draco finally felt the courage to look in her eyes and he saw nothing but determination and bravery. In that single moment, his respect for the young girl grew tenfold.

"All you have to do," she continued, "Is promise me it's safe."

Draco paled a little. He'd never broken a promise in his entire life. It was the only good thing about him. He may lie and cheat, but he never made false promises.

"There's one thing." He whispered, "The antidote. It's only 70% effective."

"What happens if it doesn't work?" Ginny asked as she struggled to uncork the bottle.

"You die."

At this, Ginny's hands stopped. Feeling a little braver than he had before, Draco took the vial from her hands and easily uncorked it before handing it back to her. He could visibly see her shiver when his skin briefly pressed against hers.

"You shouldn't." Draco said, already feeling guilt before the act was committed, "You can't even tell if I'm lying or not. That could be designed to kill you and you wouldn't even know."

Ginny shook her head as she stared down at the vial, "I'm not afraid of you, Malfoy. You can drop all the 'I'm a scary Slytherin' stuff. You may not be the best person in the world**, b**ut Harry's in love with you. And that speaks mountains for your character."

Draco was a little taken aback by this. He'd never so much as heard the girl whisper a few sentences during Study Hall. She was surprisingly intuitive and talkative when given the chance.

"H-He told you he loved me?" Draco asked instantly ashamed of the way his voice has trembled.

Ginny rolled her eyes, "He didn't have to, it's as obvious as a Hippogriff flying around the room. He's absolutely infatuated with you**, m**uch more than he ever was with me."

Feeling a bit of pride that Harry's ex-girlfriend was so easily conceding that Harry loved him more than he had ever loved Ginny, Draco felt his lips begin to curve into a smile but he stopped it before it could get too far.

"That potion will not hurt you. And I'll do everything to make sure the antidote works." Draco said quickly, "I promise."

"Cheers then. And don't worry about reporting it. McGonagall should be here within the next 15 minutes or so. She'll find me."

"You arranged for her to meet you**,** to**o**?" Draco asked.

"I'm not so stupid that I'd plan to meet you and not have someone else coming to check on me soon after. But that also means, you'll need to be leaving soon."

"Right." Draco said offering her a small smile for the first time.

He may never like Ginny Weasley, but he had to admit, she wasn't as bad as he'd thought she'd be.

"I trust you, Draco Malfoy." She said her eyes pinning him to the spot with their intensity. Before finally she smiled a little and whispered, "Bottoms up." Before drinking the potion.

Draco reached out to catch her as her knees gave way and laid her very gently on the floor. It seemed a rather morbid **scene** to him. Her**,** lying there on the cold stone, her red hair splayed out as though she were bleeding. He watched as her eyes slid closed before he whispered.

"I'm really sorry about all of this… Ginny."

Xx-XxX-xX

Harry writhed. There was no other way to describe how he moved under the delicate assault on his nerves. It was simply too much, where was Draco? He'd be here soon, wouldn't he?

Harry had told him to show up at exactly 10 pm. It was already 10:05 by Harry's count. And he really couldn't wait any longer.

He groaned, thrusting his hips, his muscles straining beneath his skin as he tried to come to terms with the pleasure he was unable to stop feeling. Every second that passed was torture as he waited for the sound of the door opening. He couldn't stay like this much longer. He simply wouldn't be able to hold out. It was impossible. Luckily, he was restrained so that he wouldn't simply give up at the first weakening of his willpower. But he could get out of it, if it became too much.

Very suddenly he thought he heard a few faint footsteps from out in the stairwell. Harry froze, his heart pounding away in his chest. His skin beginning to heat at the idea of Draco coming in and seeing him like this.

He felt a brief wave of insecurity wash over him. He wondered if Draco wouldn't like it… but he knew better by now. Logically, he knew for a fact that Draco would love this. But his insecurities about how Draco felt about him painted a different picture.

Still, Harry trusted Draco.

The door opened rather quickly and Harry heard Draco shut it. He tensed waiting for his lover's reaction.

He heard Draco whisper the locking spell, "Sorry I'm late I just had something to…"

Harry heard Draco suck in a sharp breath and breathe out, "Holy fucking hell…"

Harry couldn't help but smile at the reaction. He knew instantly just from the feeling in the air that Draco was now painfully aroused. And how could he not be? Harry knew exactly what he liked. He knew that Draco would think this was the best birthday present he'd ever received.

Xx-XxX-xX

Draco stepped forward carefully, almost afraid to believe his eyes. There was a table, littered with sweets**: c**reams and frostings and chocolates and berries.

And there in the center of the room was another table, with a very naked Harry strapped down onto it. Draco groaned deeply and began pulling of**f** his robes. Harry's cock was already standing full and proud between his legs. And it was absolutely covered in whipped cream. And this time, there was indeed a bright red maraschino cherry perched precariously on top.

There were designs of chocolate frosting all across Harry's chest and neck, ranging from white to dark. And there was a message written with the frosting spelling out, 'Happy Birthday Draco'

"God Harry, I…" Draco trailed gently running his finger through some of the frosting.

Harry instantly moaned and bucked up, his skin obviously very sensitive and his body obviously very anxious to begin. Draco put his finger to his lips, tasting the small bit of chocolate he'd gotten on it. He watched with growing arousal as Harry's darkened and lustful emerald eyes followed his every movement.

"You kept me waiting…" Harry whispered, his voice sounding tense.

Draco immediately regretted being late. He couldn't imagine what it must've been like for Harry to lie there covered in frosting while his cock stood ready and yet received no attention. He wanted to apologize but that would only take more time.

He leaned down carefully and kissed Harry's soft lips. They tasted as sugary sweet as ever and it made Draco excited to taste the rest of his sugar coated body.

"I suppose this is what you meant when you'd said you'd get me a cake." Draco whispered, his face not two inches from Harry's.

"Are you going to eat your cake anytime soon?" Harry said his voice sounding almost desperate.

Draco smirked and backed away, "I'm not sure, this cake is very beautiful. I might just appreciate it for a while." He said as his hand worked its way down into his pants to stroke his growing organ.

"Oh please, Draco." Harry whined, arching up off of the table, his cock bobbing and the cherry sitting on top wobbled a bit.

Draco pressed down on Harry's hip to keep him still, "I suppose I could sample just a bit."

He stared Harry right in the eyes as he knelt down and gently plucked the cherry from it's base of thick whipping cream with only his teeth. He watched as Harry's face contorted into a look of near pain.

"Please Draco. God, I'll do anything for you to touch me…" Harry trailed as he began to move his hips again, obviously in search of some sort of relief.

"Well…" Draco started as he ran his finger through the H in happy, "Where are my candles?"

Harry's eyes looked very far away for a moment as he watched Draco lick the frosting of his finger. When he seemed to come back to reality he shook his head.

"I-I must've forgot them. I'm sorry." He whispered, and his voice really did sound apologetic.

At seeing his lover wilt Draco quickly bent to kiss him again, "Don't worry. You've definitely supplied me with something else to blow. I'd hardly have time for candles."

Harry chuckled a little and thrust his hips up again, "That was so corny." He whispered.

"Don't make fun of my puns or I might not blow anything at all." Draco threatened mockingly.

"Nooo!" Harry whined in earnest now, "Please Draco. I really can't take anymore of this torture."

"You can be such a melodramatic bottom when you want. It's times like these I have trouble remembering what it's like when you hammer me like I'm _your_ whore. And not the other way around." Draco said as he trailed his fingers up Harry's inner thigh.

Harry moaned up at the ceiling, a prickle of sweat on his brow, "Please Draco. I want it so bad. I'll do whatever you want." Harry was rambling, his voice low and needy.

Finally Draco decided to take pity on the poor Gryffindor. He kissed the boy again, this time letting his lips linger. Letting his tongue press inside and find Harry's. And in the single kiss, he promised so many dirty and lustful acts in the near future that he could feel Harry panting into his mouth.

When Draco finally pulled away, Harry's eyes were so dilated in pleasure there was only fraction of the normal amount of emerald surrounding his dark pupils. Draco paused long enough to smile at him before he moved down to start kissing his neck, gently licking at the chocolate there. The taste was heavenly, sweet and thick and rich. And beneath that, was the taste of Harry's hot skin. Draco continued kissing and licking there even after the chocolate was gone because Harry just tasted so good. And the sexy whimpers the boy was emitting were enough to make Draco feel his own need more urgently.

He worked his way down slowly, leaving the lightly tanned skin clean and shiny as he continuously moved lower. His lips and tongue never tired of the game as he cleaned his lover's chest of the delicious chocolate frosting. He had paused to nip and suck at each of Harry's nipples, causing the boy to almost scream in delight. It was endlessly arousing to watch Harry's arms struggle against his restraints above his head. To watch as Harry arched his back as far as he could, trying to coerce Draco lower and lower. When in reality, Draco was going to take his time with this, no matter what Harry said or did. This cake was much too perfect to rush through.

When finally Draco reached the O of his name, it was with mixed sadness and excitement. It was so good that he didn't want it to be over. But his cake was not all the way finished yet. Harry seemed to realize what was coming next. He glanced up at Draco his face looking tense but wanton.

Draco smiled and kissed him again before he focused his attention on Harry's cock. The cream would've melted long ago without the use of magic, but luckily Harry had remembered that. Draco was anxious to taste it, he remembered from the last time how perfect it'd been to suck Harry's cock while it still tasted sweet. Without hesitation, Draco leaned down and began licking from the base up, savoring the taste and revealing more and more of Harry's cock as he did so. Harry was groaning and writhing, obviously unable to withstand the pleasure. Draco caught Harry's darkened eyes only once before he sucked the head into his mouth.

Draco closed his eyes and moaned softly at the mixture of cream and precome spreading across his tongue. He could hear Harry crying out loudly in relief and pleasure. Draco almost regretted making him wait so long. Draco mentally smiled at the feeling of Harry trembling as his pleasure overtook every part of his mind. Yes, Draco _almost_ regretted it, but it was worth it in the end.

When Draco finally pulled away, there was not a single remnant of the cream that had been there not a minute before. Instead, he held in his hand Harry's engorged cock, the head a rosy color with a clear liquid already beading at the very tip. Draco licked it away only for it to reappear.

Harry was breathing hard and finally, lay still against the table, "Why'd you stop?" he panted.

"Harry, I haven't had you inside of me in more than a week. Did you really think I was just gonna let you come in my mouth?"

Harry closed his eyes and let out a long sigh, "No, I guess not." He smiled a little and muttered something under his breath. Draco was about to ask him what he'd said when he realized it was a spell.

The restraints around Harry's wrists popped open and the Gryffindor sat up and stretched out his back.

Draco pouted, "Who said you could set yourself free?"

Harry chuckled, "You like when I fuck you like you're my whore, right? How am I supposed to do that if I'm strapped to a table?"

Draco looked away, knowing Harry was right. As good as it was when Harry was gentle and slow, or when Draco rode him, it was never the same as when Harry just… _fucked_ him.

"Now off with those clothes." Harry said as he carefully got off of the table. Draco could tell from the way he gripped the edge of it that his legs were a little too weak for him to stand on his own right now.

Smiling at this, Draco gladly obeyed, pulling his clothes off and letting them fall haphazardly to the stone floor. He liked the lust that was written all over Harry's face as he looked at him. He liked knowing just how sexy Harry thought he was. It was definitely an ego boost, not that Draco really needed one.

Harry pulled him forward and into a hot but harsh kiss. Draco didn't mind having his lips plundered though; in fact**,** he rather enjoyed it. When Harry pulled away his eyes were smoldering with such powerful desire that Draco lost his breath.

"You tortured me on purpose, didn't you?" Harry whispered darkly.

Draco swallowed but held his ground, "Yeah, I did. Are you going to punish me for it?" Draco challenged, enjoying this game.

Without warning, Harry spun Draco around and pushed him down so that his chest was pressed flat against the table. Draco bit his lip and wiggled his hips hoping to entice Harry inside. He felt Harry lean over him and kiss the back of his neck.

"You really do act like a whore sometimes, Draco." Harry whispered but Draco could hear the humor in his voice.

Draco could feel Harry's cock pressed firmly against his entrance and he moaned pressing back, begging without words for Harry to take him. Draco felt all of Harry's humor leave him in a rush**, o**nly to be replaced by raw and wild need.

Draco gasped and moaned loudly as Harry pressed inside. He would never tire of this, not if he lived a thousand years.

He heard Harry's labored breath in his ear before the Gryffindor said, "Happy birthday, Draco."

Draco cried out as Harry plunged deeply inside of him. Harry's hands grabbed harshly at his hips, his fingers digging into Draco's soft flesh. But it felt so good that Draco couldn't complain. The side of his face pressed against the table, his body being rocked forward with each deep thrust.

"Oh god…" Draco whispered, his hands turning to fists. He'd been right when he'd thought Harry was bigger.

He felt more full than he'd ever felt before, his body trying to stretch to accommodate Harry's now more than substantial length. Draco reached down with one hand and grabbed hold of his own erection. Almost the exact second that he did he felt Harry press against his prostate. Draco jolted as the waves of pleasure vibrated through his entire body.

"God, you're so tight today." He heard Harry mutter.

His only response was an unintelligible grumble and long moan. He could hardly think with how deep Harry was plowing into his tender passage. The feeling consumed him until he was sure the fire of his ecstasy would burn him alive. Until he was sure his body couldn't take even one more centimeter, and yet somehow Harry always found a way to press in just a little deeper.

Draco stroked his own cock ruthlessly, forgetting all technique and preference as he desperately sought his own pleasure. He felt Harry lean down and kiss the back of his neck, never pausing his thrusts before biting the top of Draco's ear.

"You're really not taking your time, huh?" Harry gasped out making Draco shiver. Harry's voice during sex was just the sexiest sound that had ever been made in the history of the world. Draco felt exceedingly lucky each time he heard it. The deep, soft, sultry whisper that sounded so raw—so _real_ that Draco thought he never knew anything of emotion until he heard it.

Draco lost all sense of time as he half stood, his chest pressed down against the table with Harry behind him. Harry's acquisition was disconcertingly gentle considering how rough it felt at some moments. But Draco guessed that was more because he'd somehow gotten bigger. Even the subtlest movements sent Draco reeling into another dimension

Harry, gently touched Draco's right shoulder to stop him from stroking himself for a few seconds, "Slow down, or you're gonna come." Harry warned.

Draco groaned as though in pain, "I want to!" he asserted the hints of desperation more obvious in his voice than he wanted to admit.

Harry didn't reply for a few minutes but suddenly he picked up the pace making Draco cry out. The thrusts came so quickly he had no time to recover from one before the next started.

He vaguely heard, through the sound of his pounding heart, "As you wish…" from behind him. But the words had been so fleeting Draco wasn't sure if he was supposed to respond or not.

Even if he was, he probably wouldn't be able to. The pressure was building so strongly in his body that he felt his body couldn't possibly be holding all of the pleasure inside of it at once. He would explode. His cock was _so_ swollen and so very, very sensitive. He'd hardly ever been this turned on but he couldn't control it.

His hand finally slowed as he felt the heat truly begin to _burn_ him and he knew he was very close to completion. How Harry became aware of that, Draco didn't know. He guessed the Gryffindor could just read him easily.

Because Harry started thrusting forward with even more enthusiasm saying, "God, Draco..**.** Wait for me!"

"Hurry… hurry…" Draco muttered his hand simply holding his cock now, afraid that anymore stimulation would send him plummeting over the edge**; h**is knees buckling, his body beginning to tremble as he was totally overtaken by ecstasy.

Draco knew when Harry was reaching the brink, because his already tight grip on Draco's hips tightened even further. Yes, there would be bruises. Draco was very aware of the man behind him, listening to his heavy breathing and his tell-tale moans.

"Yes… come on, Harry." Draco coaxed. He really couldn't hold on even another few seconds. And fortunately, he didn't have to.

Draco closed his eyes and tried to just let his orgasm happen. But he knew beyond a doubt it was going to rip mercilessly through his body. And before he had time to prepare further, he was screaming, every muscle in his body rhythmically convulsing.

He heard Harry crying out behind him, his voice ringing loud and clear, echoing across the stone walls. Draco shivered and relaxed as he listened to Harry while his own hot seed dripped down his fingers. Harry pressed his chest against Draco's back, his long arms wrapping around Draco's slender form. Draco smiled and listened to Harry's heavy breathing in his ear.

"I love you." Harry whispered so softly and sweetly Draco couldn't even get tense at the sound of the words. He simply closed his eyes as Harry gently pressed his lips to the side of his neck.

Draco sucked in a quick breath between his teeth as Harry's now softening cock finally pulled out. He hadn't felt sore like this for a long time, but it wasn't exactly a bad feeling. In a way it assured him that Harry truly hadn't held back. He relaxed again when Harry gently ran his fingers through Draco's slightly dampened hair. Harry stood up and stretched and Draco pouted at the loss of warmth and contact.

Draco stood up straight as well but suddenly the room spun and the ground was closer than it had been only a few seconds ago. Draco blinked and looked around and saw Harry was holding him concern obvious in his emerald eyes.

"Draco? Draco, can you hear me?" Harry asked, searching Draco's eyes.

Draco smiled, "Of course I can hear you." He answered as he tried to pull himself up.

Harry helped him to stand but seemed reluctant to let go, "You fainted." Harry said still looking at Draco as though he was trying to see if there was anything wrong with him.

"No, I just… lost my balance." Draco answered defensively.

Harry smiled finally meeting his eyes with a look of something other than concern, "Right. So was it a sugar high, or am I just that good?" Harry asked with a smirk.

Draco rolled his eyes, "Lets just lay down, I'm feeling rather tired."

Harry flicked his wand and transfigured the table Draco has just been fucked rather spectacularly over into a wide bed. Draco smiled and kissed Harry quickly on the cheek before climbing in and getting under the covers. He wondered how this room always seemed to say a nice cool temperature. Even in the winter it was never too cold. And now in spring it was the still the same. But he simply chalked it up to magic. It was all too obvious this room was made purely of magic. But then again, that's what made it so special.

Harry got into the bed next to him and they immediately snuggled close, enjoying each other's warmth. Draco rested his head on Harry shoulder with Harry's arm wrapped around him. Harry lightly kissed the top of Draco's head as the blond placed his hand on Harry's chest as well. Everything about Harry was so warm and soft and irresistible.

"I can feel your heartbeat," Draco whispered. He concentrated on the steady rhythm beneath his hand and smiled.

Harry didn't reply but placed his own hand over Draco's. It was terribly comfortable, lying there. So comfortable, that neither of them so much as shifted even once. It was enough to make them both forget that outside of this room, there was much awaiting them.

Enough to make them forget, if only just for a little while.

Xx-XxX-xX

I hope you all enjoyed the chap. Please leave me a review and then head on to the next chap.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

Around 2:30 in the morning, as Draco was yawning and pulling his clothes back on, Harry grabbed his wrist.

"Hey what're you—" Draco started, but stopped when he saw Harry's smile.

"There's one more part to your birthday present." Harry grinned as he pulled out his wand.

Draco found it a little strange the sight of Harry smiling and pointing his wand at him caused him absolutely no fear. A few months ago, Draco would've had a few seconds of terror before he assured himself that Harry wouldn't hurt him. But now, it was as though he knew beyond a doubt. No matter how they had behaved in the past, Harry would never hurt him now.

"I practiced a long time for this, but don't move or I might mess up." Harry said as he grabbed hold of the flat heart pendant on the bracelet that Draco wore.

Draco couldn't really see what Harry was doing, only that the tip of his wand was a dull silver color. Draco sighed impatiently after a few more long seconds and Harry just smiled wider. Finally he stopped and took a deep breath, "Done." He asserted proudly.

Draco lifted the heart pendant to see what exactly Harry had done. On one side was the familiar 'HP' but as Draco flipped it over he wasn't sure how to react. His own initials so set into the shining silver, 'DM'. And Harry had put it there himself. Draco had never been one to get sentimental over things like that but he his eyes felt a little more watery than normal.

He smiled up at Harry before standing and pulling the boy into a tight hug. "Thank you." Draco whispered to him wondering if his thanks could ever truly be expressed by those two words.

Xx-XxX-xX

Harry walked with Draco as far as he could before they had to split paths to get back to their respective dorm rooms. Harry was still on cloud nine as he ran the evenings events back through his mind. He had no idea becoming a human cake would be so much fun. The look on Draco was face was absolutely priceless. The feeling of his tongue working across his skin so deliberately was… more than mind blowing. Harry couldn't even think of a way to describe it.

He sighed contently as he finally stepped through the portrait hole. The world seemed to move in slow motion for a moment as he took in the looks of the common room.

Harry was totally unprepared to see Ron sobbing uncontrollably while Hermione and a few others tried to console him.

Almost instantly, everything good about the evening Harry had just had began to fade away.

He walked quickly forward and knelt down before his best friend. He glanced up at Hermione to see that she was teary eyed as well. He shot her a questioning look but she only shook her head and buried her face into Ron's shoulder.

"Ron?" Harry asked his voice sounding foreign on his lips.

The boy didn't respond immediately but he lifted his head a little to show he was listening.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked.

When Ron still didn't answer Harry looked around the room hoping someone would answer him. Most of the faces of his housemates were morose and serious, but some, Harry noted, looked slightly angry.

"Ginny's dying." Ron whispered finally.

Harry felt his mouth fall open and he simply stared at the bowed head of his friend for a few long seconds before he laughed nervously, "You're kidding right? Tell me this is all some terrible joke."

Harry turned as someone touched his shoulder, it was Parvati Patil. Her dark eyes held nothing but sadness and Harry felt a very sharp pain in his chest. She motioned for him to follow her and he did so. A few others did as well, leaving Ron and the others to mourn in peace while they filled Harry in on the details.

"Professor McGonagall found her earlier. They say she's been poisoned but not even Snape knows by what." Parvati explained in a low, rushed whisper.

"And it's…" Harry swallowed, "Fatal?" he asked causing a wave of new found sorrow in those listening in.

"All I know is that Madame Pomfrey is at a total loss. Hermione said even if she lives… she'll never wake up."

Harry swallowed and put his hand to his face trying to hold back the waves of uncontrollable pain the welled from deep inside of his chest. He may not have ever loved Ginny the way he loved Draco**, b**ut as far as he was concerned, she was family. He couldn't handle losing someone else… he couldn't handle it.

"That's two Gryffindor girls in three months." Seamus said hints of rage tingeing his voice black, "And Dumbledore's not doing a damned thing about it. Are we just supposed to wait around for another Gryffindor to get hurt? First almost killed, now never going to wake up. What's next? Slaughter?"

"Shut up, Seamus." Harry whispered knowing that the words he was saying were true but would cause nothing but trouble.

"I won't!" the sandy haired boy shouted bringing everyone's attention to him, "Somebody in this school is a Death Eater and obviously doing the**ir** best to try and be rid of us. If no one's going to do anything about it then I will."

"He's right" someone muttered, "This has to stop."

"We can't let anyone else get hurt! We'll find out who it is and make them pay!" a young girl shouted.

Sensing an upcoming riot Harry quickly shouted, "Enough!" the murmurings of revenge and hate ceased almost instantly and everyone looked at Harry. He was their saviour after all.

"Yes," Harry began, "Something needs to be done. But it's not something that can be done by an angry mob of students. If whoever this person is could… k-kill Ginny, one of the most powerful and clever witches I know, then we're all going to have to be a lot more careful. And storming around the castle looking for revenge is not the way to go."

Sensing that his words were finally having a calming effect, Harry took a deep breath and continued, "I'm going to do something about this, personally. I loved Ginny like a sister and—"

"Yeah right." someone from the see of faces said, "We all saw what you did to her at Christmas. Where were _you_ when Ginny was being poisoned? Off butt fucking your boyfriend?"

Harry closed his eyes and didn't allow himself to get angry, even as he listened to the whispers of doubt that started in up amongst his peers. If he got pissed off it would only make things worse. So instead he spoke with all the authority he could muster, "My personal life doesn't have one fucking thing to do with this. Ginny and I made up a week after that. We still care about each other and I will _always_ love her as family."

Harry relaxed again as he felt the mood of the room shift back in his favor, "Now _as I was saying_," Harry started again angrily eyeing the direction from which the voice had come from as though daring the person to speak up again, "I am _not_ going to let this go. For the next few days until something can be done by the teachers, I don't think anyone should be wandering off alone. And I'm going to Dumbledore's office right now to talk to him about this."

Seamus nodded in his support, "Thanks Harry."

Parvati gave him a parting hug and Harry returned it half heartedly. Without another moments delay, Harry walked towards Ron, the crowd of Gryffindors parting for him. He patted his friend on the shoulder and closed his eyes for just a second allowing himself to feel his own overwhelming sorrow. But unlike Ron, he didn't have the luxury of crying over it. He had to represent all the fears of his housemate**s** and fight for them. He had to save everyone. There was no time to cry.

Xx-XxX-xX

"Acid Pops?" Harry tried as he stared at the golden Phoenix at the entrance to Dumbledore's office, "Fizzing Whizbees? Cockroach Clusters? Pumpkin Pasties? Cauldron Cakes?"

Sighing in frustration, Harry ran his hand rather roughly through his knotty hair yanking a few strands from their roots.

"Lemon Drops?" he finally tried and surprisingly the stairway began to appear.

Harry was sort of upset that he didn't think to say that one first. After all, they were Dumbledore's favorite. But it just seemed a bit to obvious. Harry climbed the spiral staircase so fast he felt a bit dizzy as he reached the top. He didn't bother knocking, Dumbledore was probably already aware who was at his door.

Harry barged in on a meeting between the Head Master, Snape, Flitwick, Sprout and McGonagall.

The look on Professor McGonagall's face was one of both concern and outrage, "Harry Potter, just what exactly do you think you're doing wandering the halls after curfew at a time like this? 25 points from Gryffindor for your grave misconduct. You could've been hurt."

"Sorry Professor, but there's no way I was going to sit in my common room while a girl I consider my sister dies. Do you know I just stopped what was sure to end up a full blown Gryffindor riot? They're _all_ awake and all terrified and pissed off. I suggest you concern yourself more with that." Harry snapped back not bothering to consider that he was being rather rude.

Harry walked straight up to Dumbledore's desk and slammed his hands down onto it making Professor Sprout jump.

"You've been avoiding me." Harry accused darkly, "And now another girl is hurt. I'm not going to take this any more."

"Harry, my boy." Dumbledore started calmly, his face belying any anger he might have felt, "It is true I've neglected in you in the past weeks but I am in no way purposefully avoiding you. I do believe you are right about one thing though. Minerva, I think it's best you go and calm down the students of your house."

Professor McGonagall gave a single curt nod before she retreated down the golden steps.

"So what're you planning to do about this?" Harry asked calming down marginally. It's easy to forget you're angry with someone when all they do is smile at you calmly even when you yell.

"That is the question indeed, isn't it? Our first priority is working on an antidote for Ms. Weasley though, I'll admit, it does not look promising."

Harry winced at the words and tried once again to force down the anguish that threatened to flood him. He swallowed hard and let out a shivering breath, "Can I see her?" he whispered.

Dumbledore's blue eyes were sizing him up very carefully before he nodded once, "I'll see to it that Poppy lets you in for a short visit."

Harry nodded in return, truly grateful, "I'm the meantime, sir, what should we be doing about the culprit? Obviously there is some kind of threat inside the castle."

"Yes, that is just what we've been talking about before you so kindly decided to pay me a visit." Dumbledore responded, the mirth obvious on his face.

But Harry was not above feeling ashamed of his actions. He backed away from Dumbledore's desk, his head hung low, "Sorry, Professor."

"No as I was saying before, I'm still not sure I'm ready to believe a mere student could cause all of this. We would have to be dealing with a teenage genius for a student to have created a potion the likes of which not a single one of us has seen before." Dumbledore said folding his hands slowly, his half spectacles hanging precariously on the tip of his nose.

"I'm much more apt to believe that there is someone using a polyjuice among us. Any suspects should be detained for one hour with a lip locking charm to ensure they are who they appear to be. From there, if the evidence is clear enough, I will approve the use of veritaserum. I want all students to be interrogated in case they've seen anything suspicious. But I'll make this clear now, no student currently attending Hogwarts is a suspect."

"Bullshit." Harry spat out before he could stop himself.

"You should mind your tongue in front of your Head Master." Snape drawled out his voice sounding dark and dangerous.

"Have you seen something that would contradict that, Harry?" Dumbledore said ignoring Harry's cursing.

Harry paused, "Well it's not like I saw a student poison her. But I don't think you should rule out students. I think there are plenty who are capable of it."

"As much as I wish it weren't so, Albus," Professor Flitwick said with a sigh, "I happen to agree with the boy. It is good to have faith in the students. But not so much that we over look the possibilities."

Dumbledore seemed to think this over for a moment before he started slowly, "Perhaps you're right and I'm being foolish to think that the students here that I have watched mature are incapable of murder. But in any case, our actions will remain the same. We will interrogate everyone in the school until we find some clue as to who could have done this, and move forward from there. Until then, I suggest you all go back to your houses and make sure your students are sleeping peacefully. It would not do for someone else to get hurt due simply to carelessness. And let it be known that Hogwarts in on full alert. No student should be wandering about alone, _especially_" Dumbledore paused to smile at Harry, "After curfew."

As everyone turned to leave Dumbledore said, "Wait Harry. I believe you had a request." The man said standing, "The Weasleys should be arriving sometime tomorrow. I doubt you'll get another chance like this to visit her."

Harry nodded suddenly fearful. He almost didn't want to see her. He was afraid that his emotions would take over. But he knew he needed to. He had to see her for himself.

Xx-xX

Dumbledore led him into the virtually empty and darkened hospital wing. Harry was happy to see that Katie Bell's bed was finally empty. And there was no one else who happened to be sick tonight. But that made it all the easier for Harry's eyes to zero in on the one occupied bed. Madame Pomfrey was leaning over her but looked up when the two of them entered. Harry was sure the witch had been about to scold him until she saw Dumbledore at his side.

Harry walked closer, a heavy feeling in his stomach. He was almost afraid to look at her as he finally stopped by the edge of her bed. His eyes ran up from her body, covered by a thick blanket all the way up to her serene face. Her fiery hair fanned out across her pillow, her face as calm as though she were having a peaceful dream.

"Is she… How long can she… last?" Harry whispered, the words causing him so much pain he wished he'd never even thought to ask.

"I'm not sure." The medi-witch replied, "She seems stable and in no immediate danger of death. But she's in such a deep sleep I don't think she'll ever return from it."

Harry's hand shook as he reached out to take hold of Ginny's. Almost as soon as he did, his agony roared through his body and he felt weak at the knees. He squeezed her hand as the first of his tears slid down his face. Her hand was so warm, and yet totally lax.

"I believe it's best we give them some privacy." Harry heard Dumbledore whisper.

He was glad he'd said it. Harry felt better knowing that no one was watching him. He pulled a chair towards him and sat down feeling too weak to stand a moment longer.

"Oh Ginny… I'm so sorry." Harry whispered, "I should have saved you." He choked out as he sobbed.

He felt immensely guilty for all of this, as though somehow, it was his fault for not being there when she needed someone to save her. He sobbed uncontrollably for at least ten minutes, and luckily, neither Madame Pomfrey nor Dumbledore came to interrupt.

As the minutes slowly ticked by, Harry began to calm down. He rested his head on Ginny's chest, trying to will his headache to cease. He listened to the steady rhythm of her heartbeat and was sure he never heard a greater sound. She may be asleep but she wasn't dead.

"I promise." Harry whispered, "I promise I'll save you, Ginny. And if—_when_ find out who did this… I'll kill them."

Xx-XxX-xX

Hope you enjoyed it! XD review and read the next one?


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

Draco sighed at the repetitive questions, "I already told you, I hardly knew Ginny Weasley. As far as I'm concerned she was some stupid, annoying little Gryffindor."

"So you didn't have a high opinion of her?" McGonagall hammered, her eyes hard and penetrating.

"Well not exactly. But like I said, _I didn't know her_. Just because I wasn't her best friend doesn't mean I wanted to see her die." Draco responded coolly.

"Did you see anything suspicious on the day Ginny Weasley was poisoned?" McGonagall continued.

Draco sighed, "It was my birthday. With my mother dead, the lack of celebration was… noticeable. I spent almost the entire afternoon in bed."

"Do you have anyone to corroborate that story with?" the witch continued as she scribbled something on a notepad.

"Ask any of my housemates, they'll all tell you the same. I was in a terrible mood and I didn't feel like dealing with anyone. I was one of the first to dinner, I didn't eat much because I wasn't feeling well, then I went straight to my dorms and to my bed."

The woman sighed as she looked over her notes before she stood, "Thank you for your cooperation. If I have any more questions, I'll send someone to fetch you. And if you remember anything of consequence, please inform either myself or Professor Snape your head of house."

"Thank you**, P**rofessor." Draco said standing and brushing imaginary dust of**f** his robes. He sauntered past her confidently, letting the door slam shut behind him.

As soon as he was out of the room however, he let out a deep breath. That had been terrible. Luckily, he was able to keep his story straight and he had indeed been feeling rather terrible that day and gone to bed early. He just didn't _stay_ there.

As he walked down the hall in thought he was suddenly jerked rather roughly to the side into a small shadowed alcove. He reared back his fist ready to severely injure whoever had dare tug him so harshly but he quickly recognized Harry's face and his fist dropped. His frown however, stayed exactly where it was.

"You really have to stop doing that." Draco said annoyance obvious in his voice.

Harry had the good sense to at least look slightly ashamed, "Sorry," he whispered, "But I needed to talk to you and they're monitoring the mail these days."

Draco looked shocked, "Are they allowed to do that?"

Harry shrugged, "I don't know but I'm pretty sure that they are."

Glad to have learned about that before he made the mistake of owling something confidential, Draco nodded and bit his lip a little.

"Have they questioned you yet?" he asked

"They called me the first day." Harry laughed, "More out of obligation than suspicion or anything. I went to Dumbledore's office the night it happened and kinda yelled..**.** a little."

Draco sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose trying to shake off a headache, "What am I going to do with you? Yelling at the Head**m**aster? Merlin, Harry…"

Harry casually ignored the comment and continued, "I need to talk to you tonight, in the tower room. I'll meet you there at 11."

"Are you crazy?" Draco asked staring at him in disbelief, "They've upped the security so much there's absolutely no way in hell I'll be able to make it from the Slytherin dorms to the tower room without being noticed."

Harry rolled his eyes, "Why else do you think I yanked you aside." He said before reaching inside his robes and pulling out his invisibility cloak, "Take this. Then you'll have no problem getting there."

Draco hesitantly took the cloak from Harry's hands shivering a bit at the cold almost watery feel of it, "But what about you?" he asked worriedly.

"Firstly, I'm much closer to the tower room than you, and secondly, I have my ways." He said with a roguish smile.

Draco could help but smile back before he leaned in and whispered, "Kiss me."

Harry's eyes seemed to glaze over a little with want as Draco's breath gently brushed by his skin. Draco simply closed his eyes and enjoyed Harry's tender kiss as he pressed himself even further into the tight alcove.

"Mmm…" Harry whispered before kissing Draco's lips fleetingly once more, "We really shouldn't do this here." But even as he said the words his hands wandered down to Draco's hips, pulling the boys groin right up against his.

Draco sucked in a quick breath before he pushed away from Harry, "You're right. Tonight then?" he said hiding the invisibility cloak inside his own robes.

Harry sighed disappointedly and offered Draco a half hearted smile, "Tonight."

Xx-XxX-xX

Harry sighed heavily as he flipped through another obscure potions book looking for anything about how to wake someone from a coma. It'd become apparent after about a week that Ginny was still very much alive, but very much asleep. And no amount of spells and potions seemed to be waking her up. So of course, Hermione had recruited Harry and few other friends to scour the library looking for so much as a mention of any sort of potion that would cause or cure the coma Ginny had fallen into.

After hours of searching and hardly any leads, Harry was beginning to grow restless. But he had promised Ginny. And he would not go back on his promise. He would save her. And he would find out who did this. But that meant finding clues as to how the potion was made in the first place. Harry'd already talked to Dumbledore about it again and had been told that there wasn't a single trace of the potion left in Ginny's blood stream.

"Fuck!" Ron exclaimed, "We're gonna be late for potions."

Hermione checked her slim silver watch on the inside of her wrist and gasped jumping up, "He's right! Come on everyone we've got to put these books back." She said pulling out her wand.

"Don't worry yourselves," Madame Pince said coming around the shelf, "I'll take care of these; you all hurry off to class."

After a round of rather grateful thanks to the elderly Librarian, Harry, Neville, Ron and Hermione all left in a hurry.

"She's certainly being nicer." Ron panted as they jogged down the halls, "Don't ya think?"

"She obviously knows what we're researching and must support us." Hermione said as they rounded the finally corners and went down the last flight of steps.

They managed to make it to the potions classroom just as the clock ticked the very last second before 3:00.

Professor Slughorn grinned at Harry, not at all upset that they were only a single second away from being late.

"Why don't you all take your seats? We're going to have a very interesting class today." The man smiled making Harry feel just slightly uneasy.

He nodded and went to his seat, pulling out his used potions text book.

"Today," the man said stepping forward, "You all will be competing for this." He finished holding up a small vial with a glimmering golden liquid.

"This is Felix Felicis. Otherwise known as—"

"Liquid luck." Hermione finished for him, "Temporarily giving its drinker amazing luck."

Slughorn cleared his throat obviously trying not to appear peeved at Hermione's interjection, "Correct, Ms. Granger. Unfortunately, as you are today, this potion is far beyond your skills. So instead we will be concocting the Draught of Living Death and its antidote. I'm sure many of you can guess why this is appropriate… Whoever makes the best Draught of Living Death will be awarded this vial of Felix Felicis."

Harry sighed not even wanting to imagine he'd be able to win. Not with Draco in the class at least**, b**ut he'd give it a shot at least. At least he had a one in a trillion chance if he actually concentrated.

Xx-xX

Draco paled slightly at the thought of creating the Draught of Living Death. Somehow, this didn't seem like a normal potions assignment**—e**specially not with an incentive like Felix Felicis on the line. Only the most skilled wizards would even dream of trying to concoct liquid luck.

It was a trap. And Draco was sure Dumbledore or McGonagall had their hands in this somewhere. They were trying to see which student could create the potion the best to see who was a likely suspect in making the potion that Ginny had taken. The prize of liquid luck was to ensure that even if the suspect figured out the trick, they would still try to win.

Draco swallowed and considered his options. He could win this and get the liquid luck. It could certainly come in handy later. Or he could flub the potion to draw suspicion off of himself.

As Slughorn walked past him to sit back at his desk, his beady eyes sized Draco up in way that was anything but pleasant. Draco decided then that there was no way he was going to do the potion correctly. He wouldn't ruin it. But he would at least make sure his wasn't the best.

He'd be far luckier to not have to deal with anymore interrogations than he would be with a mere vial of Felix Felicis.

Xx-xX

"_Chop the sopophorus bean to draw the juice out." _Harry silently read as he dragged his finger along the text.

But on the side there was a small note that read, "_Crush with dull edge of knife."_

At a crossroads between whether to trust the official text or the Half-Blood Prince, Harry paused in thought. He glanced around the room where everyone was having trouble with the slippery beans, unable to hold onto them long enough to get a single slice.

Deciding then that crushing it sounded like a much better idea than slicing his fingers, Harry did so drawing more juice from the bean than he would've imagined possible. Smiling to himself at how well he seemed to be doing, Harry continued reading the text, always pausing to read the Half-Blood Prince's comments and following every suggestion.

Near the end there were a few spills, a few explosions and few frustrated cries around the classroom, while Harry casually followed the rest of the Prince's instructions**; s**tirring counter clock-wise 7 times and clockwise once. Changing his mirror black potion to lilac and then clear as water. The potion was so powerful, the fumes from it were beginning to make Harry a little light headed. Feeling extremely proud of his first potions related success, Harry had the strange impulse to pick up his book and kiss it for all the help it had brought him.

Harry watched as Slughorn walked around examining cauldrons. Most times he frowned and shook his head. A few he had to hold his nose and walk away quickly. At seeing Hermione's potion he simply laughed apparently at the absurdity of whatever she'd managed to mix up in the bottom of her cauldron, making the bushy haired girls cheeks glow bright red.

As Slughorn approached Draco he looked into his cauldron and sighed saying, "Not bad Mr. Malfoy. Certainly not a very good Draught of Living Death, but not the worst either."

Shocked, Harry looked back down at the page. Had the potion really been so difficult that even _Draco_ couldn't make it? As Slughorn approached him the portly man seemed to lose his breath.

"My! Well done! Well done indeed, Mr. Potter! I haven't seen such a well brewed Draught of Living Death since I last made it myself! I think it's fair to say you've totally earned this prize" Slughorn said with a wide grin as he handed Harry the vial.

Harry took it and was surprised to feel that it was slightly warm.

As class ended and Harry put his things away Draco walked past his desk, intentionally bumping into him.

"Watch it, Potter." He mock glared.

"You fucking watch it, Malfoy." Harry snapped back enjoying the game of being mean to each other again. Harry watched as Draco had trouble suppressing a smile couldn't help but stare at him a little longer than necessary before they both realized more than a few students had noticed the exchange. They probably expected them to fight, though Harry and Draco were much more likely to simply start making out than fight.

As Draco left, shooting Harry one last smoldering look Harry noticed a piece of parchment on his desk that wasn't there before. He picked it up and uncrumpled it, reading the words in Draco's neat hand writing.

_Feel like getting lucky tonight?_

Harry laughed out loud as the note and wondered indeed if he should taste his liquid luck tonight. Maybe it would keep them both from being caught. Or better yet, maybe they'd be able to come over and over. Ah… that sounded good.

But Harry decided instead to save the potion, he might need it for something of dire importance in the future. It was no use using it frivolously when he was sure that He and Draco would be able to have _plenty_ of fun without the use of the potion.

Still, Harry had an extra spring in his step with something to look forward to tonight. But before that, more research.

Xx-XxX-xX

With only the marauders map to help him navigate the corridors, it took Harry significantly longer than he'd expected it would to get to the tower room. He had to dodge teachers prowling left and right. And was sometimes left standing in the same hiding spot for minutes on end until it was safe to venture out.

Thus he was very late in reaching the tower room and he was sure he was going to get an earful from Draco. The boy must've been waiting for at least forty minutes. So it's understandable that Harry stood in front of the tower room door, a little reluctant to go inside. But he took a deep breath, gathered up his courage and twisted the knob.

Harry was more than a little shocked to find the room empty. He even looked around the small circular room as though Draco could be hiding somewhere.

Harry closed the door behind him and stepped inside furtively, "Draco?" He asked as he walked forward, his footsteps echoing on the hard stone floor.

Maybe Draco was trying to play a trick on him? After all, he did have Harry's invisibility cloak.

"Draco if this is joke, I'm seriously not laughing." Harry said standing in the center of the room trying to keep his eyes open for the blond to pop out from somewhere.

"If you don't come out this very instant you won't be getting anything from me for a week. But if you do… I'll suck you just the way you like." Harry continued, his green eyes darting around.

And still, there was no sign of Draco.

Sighing dramatically, Harry plopped down on the window seat. Part of him was pissed off and more than a little annoyed that Draco was so late. And the rest of him was worried. In all of their meetings, Draco had been late only twice. The time when he'd gotten an owl from his father that threatened he'd be disowned. And last time, on his birthday. The first time he'd been around 15 minutes late. And more recently, he'd been only around 5 or 6 minutes late.

But what could possibly be keeping Draco for—Harry checked his watch, over an hour? Now knowing the time, the part of him that was annoyed began to fade away leaving only gnawing worry. This just really wasn't like Draco.

Still, worrying about it wasn't going to bring Draco here any sooner. Instead, Harry just lay back against the many pillows and stared up at the moon. He didn't know when he closed his eyes, but the next thing he knew, he was falling.

He was falling fast this time, faster than he'd ever fallen before. And now, everything around him was pitch black. Even looking down he could see nothing but unending darkness. Terrified, he began flailing around in the air. But it wasn't like he was going to magically be able to fly.

Suddenly though, he could distantly feel the ground beneath his feet. He looked down to see himself standing on a stone floor. Hogwarts, he was in Hogwarts. Sighing with relief Harry took off down the corridor he found himself in and began searching.

At first he wasn't sure what he was searching for, but then he remembered. Draco.

That's right! He was searching for Draco. Now where could that blond have gotten off to?

"He's with us." Ginny said wrapping her arms around Harry from behind and startling him near to death.

Harry turned to look at her but she was gone. Feeling his heart begin to pound a little faster as the eeriness of all of this settled in, Harry took a step back. He stepped on something and it snapped.

He looked down confused at first by what he saw. That was… Dumbledore's wand wasn't it? He picked up on of the pieces and examined it and indeed it did bear a resemblance to the wand Harry had seen Dumbledore use.

"He won't be going with you." Ginny whispered before laughing.

Harry spun around trying to find her again, "Where are you? Where's Draco?" Harry asked as he headed off down the hall again, following the sound of Ginny's voice.

"He's with them." Ginny whispered sadly.

"What?" Harry shouted at the walls, where Ginny's voice seemed to be emanating from, "I thought you said he was with you."

"Me, them. There's hardly a difference anymore." Ginny continued, "But you should get out of here, before someone sees."

"Before someone sees what?" Harry asked. And he was going to ask more but the ground opened up. Harry managed to catch the ledge and hold on. His feet scrabbled at the wall as he tried to pull himself up, but he couldn't seem to get a hold of anything.

Harry looked up and saw what looked like Draco standing above him. Harry winced at the sight of the boy. His eyes were missing, and snake was slithering happily through his mouth and empty eye sockets. Blood steadily trickled down his cheeks and spilled forward from his lips.

Draco smirked at him with bloodied lips, "You can't save anyone." He said callously as he stepped on Harry's fingers.

Harry cried out in pain but still managed to hang on just a little longer. He tried to pull himself up again but his body felt so heavy and his arms felt so weak.

"Help me, Draco!" Harry shouted up at him but the blond made no move to pull him up.

Harry watched as the doors to the Room of Requirement, having just appeared behind Draco, opened revealing nothing but darkness beyond.

"You can't save Ginny." Draco said grinding his foot harder into Harry's fingers making him cry out in pain.

Very suddenly, the sword of Gryffindor shot out and pierced Draco through the chest, his heart hanging from the tip of it, still beating slowly and dripping blood onto Harry face. Harry screamed and wanted to move away but there was no where for him to go but down.

Draco collapsed, leaning very close to Harry. Harry watched rapt as Draco's bloody lips parted again, the crimson trails spilling down his chin as he whispered, "And you can't save me."

Draco leaned down even further, the sword still protruding from his chest, and pressed his lips to Harry's. Harry gagged and turned his head away trying to avoid the kiss, feeling tears already slipping down his own cheeks. Draco's tongue tasted like blood as it slithered into Harry's mouth, almost choking him as it began to working its way down his throat as well.

When finally, much to Harry's relief, Draco backed away and smiled the snake leapt forward from his mouth, striking at Harry and biting him on the forehead. Immediately, searing and unbearable pain shot through Harry's entire body making him recoil and let go of stone he'd been so desperately clinging to.

He screamed as he fell, both out of pain and horror before he jolted awake still screaming.

Harry was gasping for breath and holding his scar, which still ached with pain. He looked around once and it didn't take him long to recognize where he was. . He was in the tower room, and it was already morning. His hands were shaking uncontrollably as he wiped the sweat from his brow. Harry sat there for a few long minutes as he tried to get a hold of himself. But he just couldn't stop shaking. His trembling came from the inside out. He felt truly disturbed by the nightmare he'd just had.

And more than anything he knew he had to find Draco. Now.

Xx-XxX-xX

Sorry about that rather disturbing scene. Review if I managed to scare the shit out of you? XD and head on to yet another chap. You all deserve these for waiting so long.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

Harry wandered into the Great Hall as though in a daze. He'd gone back to his dorms, taken a shower and dressed for school once more and yet he still felt as though he'd just awoken from his dream. The imagery of Draco's red, raw, empty eye sockets with a hissing Green snake slithering through…

Harry gagged and put his hand to his mouth in case anything came up. The action did not go unnoticed.

"Harry?" Hermione said as she gently led him down onto the bench, "Are you feeling alright?"

Harry shook his head and felt the shivers go through his body again. No, he most certainly was not feeling alright. He looked up at the Slytherin table hoping to spot the blond but had no such luck. Harry swallowed and reached for a glass of water but his hand was shaking so bad he was afraid to spill it if he tried to lift it.

"Blimey, Harry…" Ron whispered, "You look like you just came back from product testing with Fred and George."

Hermione put her hand to Harry's forehead, "Well you don't seem to have a fever. In fact you feel rather cold. Did something happen?"

Harry swallowed and took a few deep calming breaths. He was fine. Everything was fine. Draco was fine. Ginny would be fine. Everything was totally and completely fine.

After repeating that to himself a few more times, Harry finally felt able to respond, "I just had the absolute worst nightmare imaginable." He whispered unable to describe it in more detail.

As soon as he thought about it again, the way Draco's impossibly long tongue had tried to slither down his throat he—

Harry gagged again and buried his face in his hands unable to shake the incredibly unsettling imagery and feeling.

"How bad could it be?" Seamus laughed as he reached for a bagel, "What? Were you snogging Malfoy or something?"

Though obviously, the boy had been trying to lighten the mood, Harry couldn't take it. He lunged at Seamus throwing punch after punch and feeling delighted with the wet crunching noise the Irish boy's face made.

"Harry! Harry, stop it!" Hermione was screaming.

The next thing Harry knew Ron had lifted him off of Seamus and smacked him rather hard across the face. Harry stumbled a bit but was at least a little more awake from the pain.

"I… I'm sorry. I didn't mean…" Harry started, But Ron's blue eyes were ice cold. Seamus was writhing on the ground, blood spilling down his face from a broken nose. Snape grabbed Harry by the back of his collar and spun him around glaring hard into Harry's eyes.

"You're coming with me to the Head**m**aster's office, _immediately_, Potter." Snape spat.

Xx-xX

Harry sat with his head bowed in Dumbledore's office while Madame Pomfrey applied a salve to his bruised and bloodied knuckles before bandaging them. As the woman stood to go, Dumbledore said, "As soon as the other boy is healed enough, I'd like to talk to him as well."

Madame Pomfrey nodded and set off then, leaving Harry, Dumbledore and Snape alone.

"Now, Harry. Would you mind telling me exactly what happened?" Dumbledore asked softly.

Harry sighed and closed his eyes trying to find the words in his jumbled mind, "I had… come to the Great Hall already upset. And then, Seamus said something that just pissed me off and the next thing I knew… I didn't mean for it to happen like this." Harry whispered.

"I believe that Harry, only because I know you're not one to harbor ill will against anyone. I've seen your bouts of irrational anger, but I know that you do not truly wish to harm anyone." Dumbledore agreed, "But still, this sort of behavior is intolerable and cannot go unpunished. 100 points from Gryffindor, and you will have detention every night for the next two weeks."

Knowing that Dumbledore was being lenient didn't stop Harry from feeling the sting of the punishment. Two weeks without seeing Draco? Why not just chop off one of his limbs?

"Surely you don't think two weeks is enough?" Snape asked, obviously upset that Harry wasn't being expelled.

"For Harry, two weeks is quite a substantial punishment." Dumbledore assured the teacher, "But might I ask, what exactly had you so upset that you were able to harm one of your own friends?" the old man asked, his sparkling light blue eyes searching Harry's face for the answers.

"A nightmare." Harry answered honestly and quietly.

Dumbledore didn't seem surprised by the answer, but he did seem intrigued, "May I ask what about?"

Harry considered for a moment how much he should tell the old wizard. Surely some of it, the kiss for example was extremely inappropriate. And others, like when Harry snapped Dumbledore's wand, would only cause worry. Harry decided to keep it short.

"I could talk to Ginny. Even in the coma she's in, I spoke to her. But she made no sense."

Dumbledore sat back in his chair for a moment and murmured, "Interesting…"

"Umm… Sir, can I go back to breakfast, I'm actually rather hungry. I promise not to hurt anyone though." Harry said with a forced smile. He wasn't hungry at all, he almost doubted he ever would be again considering the sickening knot his stomach seemed stuck in. But he had to look for Draco.

Dumbledore's eyes flickered back to Harry as though just remembering he was there, "Of course, Harry, my boy. Yes, please do try to behave yourself. I expect to see you in my office at 8 o'clock sharp."

Feeling as though he'd been rather miraculously let off the hook, Harry stood in a hurry and walked briskly down the spiral steps and out of Dumbledore's office. He was already considering how he would find Draco when suddenly it dawned on him. Who else could possibly know more about Draco's whereabouts than—

"Snape." Harry called as the greasy haired professor was about to set off in the opposite direction.

The man paused before turning slowly, eyeing Harry with carefully guarded disdain, "Potter." He responded to acknowledge that he was listening.

Harry bit his lip for a second before checking the hallway in both directions. There didn't seem to be anyone coming. He walked up rather close to his old potions teacher and asked him in the quietest whisper imaginable.

"You wouldn't happen to know where Malfoy's gotten off to, would you?"

Harry felt a little scared as Snape's dark black eyes stared him down. But he tried to keep how shoulders straight and face the man with bravery**, e**ven though he felt rather small under the intense gaze.

"You needn't worry over him anymore." Snape whispered blackly before turning heel and leaving Harry staring after him.

Xx-xX

Draco wasn't in the Great Hall for the remainder of breakfast and he didn't show up for Charms that morning. Harry was fidgety and feeling slightly ill. What could Snape possibly mean by that? That he didn't need to worry about Draco anymore. Snape knew about Harry and Draco's relationship, he was sure of that. Why else would he let Harry escape after being caught out after curfew on Christmas?

So why would he say something like that? Draco was… okay wasn't he?

Needless to say by the time lunch rolled around Harry was nearly dying with worry. He wanted so badly to just scream out that Draco was missing and that he _had_ to find him. But no one, not even Draco's friends seemed to take much notice of his absence. So as Harry continued through his day, he began to think back on his dream, maybe it was a clue to where Draco went. After all, Harry'd had dreams that saved lives before. It wasn't impossible.

Ginny had said 'he's with us' and then 'he's with them'. So apparently, she and them were closely connected. But then, who was us and who was them?

Harry pondered this endlessly. If Draco was with Ginny did that simply mean that he was sleeping? Or was he… dying? Harry felt the strangest dull pain deep in chest from even considering those words. No, no, Draco wasn't dying. Harry wouldn't even allow himself to think such things.

'_She belongs to me now_' Tom Riddle's voice echoed through his memory.

Could it be that the 'them' was Voldemort? But then how could Draco sneak out of the castle to go to him? No, it would be impossible for Draco to go to Voldemort from here.

Feeling more and more tense and frustrated by the minute, Harry plopped down into his seat for potions class. Slughorn seemed to sense that Harry was in a terrible mood because he didn't give him any of those creepy smiles or talk about how wonderful Harry was at potions like he usually did at the beginning of class.

"Sorry I'm late, **P**rofessor." Draco said as he entered the room in a rush and quickly took his seat.

Harry stared at Draco with his mouth hanging wide open. First a cool calming wave of relief washed over him. Draco was okay! But then as Harry continued to examine him he felt his relief giving way to anger. The fucker just looked like he woke up late or something. His hair was disheveled and his clothes were a bit wrinkled, but there was absolutely nothing wrong with him.

"I'll forgive you this time Mr. Malfoy but don't make a habit of it." Slughorn scolded before addressing the class with today's assignment.

Harry could hardly pay attention. All he could do was stare at Draco with a mix of pure relief and utter rage. So Draco had just gone off to do whatever and not bothered to tell Harry anything about it? Just left him there worrying all fucking night and all fucking morning without so much as a single appearance to calm Harry's frayed nerves. Harry hadn't known that he could ever want to hug someone and strangle them at the same time.

The blond glanced at him once, his eyes looked clouded and Harry frowned recognizing that as a bad sign. He offered Harry the smallest and most tentative of smiles before turning back to face the front of the room as though Harry didn't matter at all.

Now even though he'd been nothing but heartsick over Draco's strange disappearance, it was hard to feel anything other that unbearable annoyance and anger. God, was Draco going to get an ear bashing today!

Harry was careless and clumsy with his potion, but with the Half-Blood Prince's extra help, he still didn't do to bad. In fact, he did much better than he normally would have even if he'd been concentrating. Feeling grateful that at least he was going to get the potions grade he deserved this year, Harry's anger slowly began to cool. But not so much that he was going to let Draco get away with his careless behavior.

As the class ended and the students shuffled out, Harry stayed behind pretending to be rather meticulously cleaning his desk. Unfortunately, as he was waiting for the classroom to empty so he could get a few words in with Draco, Slughorn decided to approach him. The man smiled, his pudgy face seeming to form itself around the grin.

"What're you doing tonight, Harry. I'm having a party for only my best students and I'd be quite happy if you'd attend."

"Sorry." Harry said trying to glance around the wide man to see if Draco had left or not, "I've got detention tonight."

Slughorn gasped, "_You've_ got detention? Come now Harry, you must think me a fool to believe an excuse like that."

"No really, sir. I've got detention with Dumbledore for punching one of my housemates at breakfast." Harry continued as he hastily shoved all his things into his bag. At this rate Draco was going to leave and Harry wouldn't get another chance to talk to him.

"But—" Slughorn started, his wide mouth opening and closing as he tried to think of a way to convince Harry to come to his party.

"Excuse me, sir." Harry interrupted as he quickly sidestepped the man glad to see that Draco was only just reaching the door and obviously wanting Harry to follow him.

Harry followed Draco out of the potions room, leaving Slughorn still reeling. His friends looked slightly confused as Harry waved at them and headed off in the opposite direction. He'd said he'd meet them in the library, but none of them questioned him**. He** left, not far behind Draco and few other Slytherins also headed farther down into the dungeons.

Draco turned a corner and Harry jogged a little to try and catch up. But when he turned the same corner, the blond was gone. Feeling anger, frustration and worry all over again, Harry was too shocked when someone yanked him into a small room to keep from crying out.

"Ow! What the fuck!" Harry said rubbing his sore shoulder as he stood in the dark storage closet.

"Now you know what it feels like." Draco laughed before pulling out his wand and began casting locking spells and silencing charms at the door. When he was finished, he finally lifted his wand and whispered, "Lumos."

At seeing Draco's face, Harry's mood darkened again. All the worry and frustration and utter anguish he'd gone through while Draco was gone seemed to come upon him at once. Unable to stop himself, he grabbed Draco's shoulders and slammed him into the cold, stone wall.

"Do you have ANY fucking idea what hell it's been looking for you?" Harry screamed in his face.

"Merlin! I'm sorry okay!" Draco shouted back trying to shove Harry away. But in his anger Harry's strength seemed to grow. His fingers dug harshly into Draco's shoulder making the blond wince but this only seemed to bring Harry a strange sense of satisfaction.

"Don't you ever, _ever_ do that to me again. Do you understand me?" Harry growled out darkly.

Draco looked a little fearful but he swallowed and nodded, "I really am sorry, Harry. I didn't mean to… worry you."

At seeing the true remorse and pain on Draco's face, all of the fury that had been surging through Harry so strongly not seconds before, seemed to drain out of him. As though siphoned away**, l**eaving him feeling weak and hurt and tired. His hands slowly let go of Draco's shoulders making the Slytherin smile a little and visibly relax.

"I thought you were going to hit me." He chuckled though tinges of fear could still be heard underlying his humor.

"Never…" Harry whispered leaning in to gently kiss Draco's lips. As soon as he did, all of his worries seemed to evaporate. Even as he pulled away, his eyes remained closed. He simply let himself relax. Draco was here and safe. Everything was going to be okay.

Hearing Draco give a quite, pleasured sigh, he smiled a little at the blond in the dull light, "Sorry about that. I was just so worried. You can't even imagine how terrible everything's been since last night."

Harry nearly moaned at the feeling of Draco's hand softly touching his cheek. It was the most comforting feeling he'd had in a long time. He closed his eyes and turned his head, lightly kissing Draco's palm.

"What happened?" Draco asked obvious concern in his voice, "I heard that you beat the shit out of Seamus Finnegan."

Harry frowned and nodded, "It's a long story." He conceded with a sigh.

"I've got time. And we won't have time later considering you've got detention." Draco continued letting his fingers gently run through Harry's wild black hair.

"Yeah. Two weeks worth."

Draco groaned as though in pain, "Two whole weeks? I know considering the circumstance that's really nothing but… it's almost the end of the year and…" the blond trailed obviously not willing to continue that sentence. They both knew what he was going to say anyway.

Harry took a step closer to Draco, gently pulling the blond's body against his. Feeling the warmth of Draco's skin and the subtle pulse of life and magic and thrummed through his entire being. Harry never wanted to let go.

"I had the most disturbing and horrifying nightmare last night." Harry whispered, "And then I woke up and I couldn't find you anywhere…"

Draco gently squeezed him back, "Oh Harry… I'm so sorry." He whispered.

And Harry could only nod in response. His throat felt thick with impending tears but he didn't want to cry over this. It was over anyway, and Draco was here, safe in his arms. Harry closed his eyes again and let out a long breath. They simply held each other for what must've been a long time, but the world just seemed to slow down for them. Harry just continued to hold his lover, listening to his breathing and feeling his heart beat. And that was enough to calm every storm that was raging in Harry's head. It was enough to take away every pain that had ever existed in his heart. It was enough to change everything about Harry's world forever.

"I love you." Harry whispered against Draco's neck. And as soon as he'd said the words he realized they'd never been more true, "I love you… I love you…"

Draco's long arms squeezed him tighter but the boy didn't respond. Harry couldn't bring himself to even be angry or hurt. He knew Draco loved him. He could feel it. But he also knew that there was much more to Draco than the boy had ever let him see. He could feel the guilt at not being able to truly love Harry, radiating off of the Slytherin. But Harry forgave him. Because he knew beyond all doubt that Draco really did love him. It was something else that was keeping them apart. And Harry wouldn't punish Draco for circumstances neither of them could control.

"I-I'm sorry I just—" Draco started his voice sounding pained.

"Don't worry about it, Draco." Harry muttered lightly kissing his neck, tasting his warm skin, "I understand…"

Draco shivered a little but relaxed in Harry's arms. They stayed thus for a few minutes longer before Harry realized something.

"You've gotten taller." He whispered quietly.

Draco seemed a little caught off guard by the comment and backed away a little to check if it was true. And it was; he had indeed grown at least another inch or so. He smiled a little, "I'll have to bend to kiss you now."

Harry rolled his eyes, "Shut up." but even still Harry leaned up on the balls of his feet and placed a soft kiss on Draco's lips.

As soon as they were kissing again it became difficult to stop. Harry's hands began to wander around Draco's body, feeling him, touching him and listening to the soft whimpers the blond made in response. Harry's lips were gentle but insistent as he continued to kiss the boy**, h**is tongue darting out quickly to gain entrance into Draco's mouth. But surprisingly, Draco did not allow the kiss to deepen. Instead he placed his hands on Harry's chest and gently pushed him away.

Feeling more hurt than he'd ever felt in he life, Harry stood quiet and stunned. He'd been dumped and he'd been laughed at but he never felt more rejected than that moment. He continued to stare at the boy in the half light of his wand, waiting for some sort of explanation. When none came, Harry prompted, "What's wrong?"

Draco's eyes were distant as they flickered to Harry's face. But he quickly looked away, unable to hold eye contact, "I can't." he muttered.

Harry pressed himself back against Draco, wanting to feel as close to him as he had just a few moments ago. But there was something wrong. There was something in the way and Harry could feel it. Still, Harry wouldn't allow Draco to push him away again. He held on to the boy tighter than before not willing to let anything take him away.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked as he tried to catch Draco's eyes.

"I… I just…" Draco's lip trembled a little and shook his head offering him a watery smile, "Nothing. Kiss me."

Harry's forehead hurt from how deeply his brow was creased with worry. But he didn't resist when Draco bent to kiss him with unfettered adoration and hints of lust. Harry was strangely fearful for a moment as Draco's tongue slid past his lips, but the familiarity of Draco's true mouth, not the mouth of the nightmare Draco, calmed him. His tongue was not impossibly long and he wasn't trying to choke him. But Draco was indeed passionate as he continued to kiss Harry**, h**is tongue searching his mouth, tracing nonsensical patterns across Harry's tongue and the roof of his mouth. Draco pulled on Harry's bottom lip roughly, forcing Harry to lean forward farther and drawing a low groan from his throat.

It felt too good to stop, even though Harry was becoming aware that they must've been gone for some time. They continued full speed ahead and eventually they're bodies began reacting to one another. Hands began venturing too far, groping too hard, unbuttoning and tugging and pulling.

Harry was kissing Draco's pale neck now, nipping a little harder than necessary and intending to leave a few marks. While Draco's hands had already found themselves inside Harry's pants, slowly stroking the turgid flesh there as it became harder and harder.

"Do you want to fuck me?" Draco whispered through his labored breathing as he slowly ground his hips forward.

"Let me suck you first." Harry whispered, "Let me taste you, Draco. Please."

Harry smiled knowingly as he heard Draco's breathy moan of, "Yes. Yesss… God yes."

Harry sank to his knees so quickly, Draco might've accidentally ended up kissing the air. It was true that Harry hadn't gotten a taste of his lover**'**s arousal in far too long. And he really did enjoy sucking Draco off. Feeling Draco's hot, hard flesh slipping past his lips over and over. The salty, bitter, addictive taste of him. The unending moans that sent shivers right down Harry's spine. Everything about sucking Draco off just seemed to torment his libido.

Harry was quick with the buttons of Draco's fly this time, and pulling down all of the annoying clothing that tried to block him from the thing he wanted most. As soon as Draco's pants were at his ankles, Harry looked up at his quivering organ. Watching it and almost seeing it pulse with Draco's heartbeat**, H**arry groaned in anticipation as he grabbed a hold of the base. Slowly beginning to stroke Draco's cock he bent further and softly sucked on his balls. Harry smiled to himself as Draco cried out and began running his tongue through the sparse blond hair there.

He ran his tongue up the underside, feeling the pulsing vein and all the subtle ridges. He wanted to devour this lovely cock so bad his mouth was watering. But he denied himself a little longer as he continued to work his tongue and lips over the sensitive, velvety soft skin.

"Oh god!" Draco gasped out, "Please Harry…"

Smiling once more at how aroused his lover was, Harry simply closed his mouth over the wide cock head and allowed his mouth to be filled with the taste. His hand around the shaft worked in quick efficient strokes, meant to make Draco feel as good as possible. And the blond was moaning, the sound pressing out from between his soft pink lips.

Harry looked up at Draco as his mouth sank down, sucking in more of his wondrous manhood. And God the blond had never been more beautiful. Even in the dim light of the storage closet, his eyes were wide and shining. His lips quivering as he let out his sounds of ecstasy. His cheeks a delicate, rosy pink that reminded so Harry so much of the color of his nipples and his tiny puckered entrance.

Harry closed his eyes and concentrated on the task at hand. He sucked hard and allowed Draco's cock to slip very far down his throat. But it felt so good that Harry didn't care. Even the few times when he lost control and gagged, the resounding cry of pleasure above him made up for it. His head bobbed continuously and his hand worked in unending quick strokes, meant to bring Draco right to his edge very quickly.

As soon as his other hand reached up and gently tugged at Draco's balls the blond shouted, "Stop!"

Harry looked up at the blond, watching as every muscle in the poor boy's body began to tremble. He looked at the pained control on Draco's face as he tried to reign in his orgasm and decided very suddenly, that he wasn't going to listen.

Harry smiled up at Draco as best he could around the delicious intrusion in his mouth and then continued. Draco cried out loudly and his hands fisted in Harry's hair, tugging and massaging all at once.

"Gods! I'm gonna come!" He moaned loudly.

Harry closed his eyes and let out a soft groan of his own as he imagined Draco's burning hot seed slipping down his throat.

"Look at me." Came Draco's rather calm command and Harry obeyed, his electric green eyes darting up to meet Draco's silvery blue ones.

He watched every emotion that crossed Draco's face in rapt pleasure. He watched as Draco's brow began to furrow and his steamy breath pushing past his slightly swollen lips. And his warm pink blush growing brighter.

Harry's hand continued to pump Draco in hastening strokes and he pulled his mouth away for just a second so he could tell Draco that he loved him, just before he came. Unfortunately, his time was a bit off. No sooner and he opened his mouth to speak did Draco nearly scream out his completion.

The hot spurts of come hit Harry's face; most of it on his lips and chin but some reaching as high as his cheekbones and dripping down. Draco collapsed down to his knees as well, breathing hard and leaning on Harry for support.

Harry licked his lips a little upset that Draco hadn't come in his mouth. But then again, this had its perks. He smiled as he watched Draco's eyes follow his tongue as it moved slowly over his lips. Feeling that Draco was already becoming aroused again from watching him, Harry reached up with a finger and wiped some of the sticky white substance from his chin before sucking the digit into his mouth.

He Draco jaw fell open and his eyes began to glisten with new found lust. Harry continued the process of swiping at the come dripping down his face and slowly licking it off his finger. Thrusting it in and out of his mouth, twisting it in his pursed lips and pinning Draco with his intensely lustful gaze. Draco was panting again.

"You're so amazing." Draco whispered as he leaned forward and kissed Harry, obviously not the least bit put off by the taste of his own come.

Harry welcomed the kiss, swirling his tongue around Draco's sensually and his hands moved to unbutton his shirt. Draco allowed him to do so but when Harry went to push the shirt off of his shoulders, Draco stopped him.

"You're about to fuck me up against a stone wall, at least let me keep my shirt on so I don't hurt my precious skin." Draco murmured against his lips.

Realizing this was true Harry nodded. Though there was nothing like holding the naked Slytherin in his arms, this wasn't exactly the place most suited for it. Draco was the first to stand, though obviously on wobbly legs. He was already stroking his cock and Harry watched amazed as his erection returned.

"I don't know how you do it." Harry whispered as he stood and pushed his pants down, "You've got amazing stamina. As opposed to me, the one shot wonder." Harry laughed bitterly.

"But you last twice as long as me, silly." Draco replied as he kicked his pants off his ankles, "Now no more self pity. Come over here and fuck me."

Harry smiled and pressed his body against Draco's, feeling everything that was soft and supple and everything that was stiff and hard. Harry thrust his hips forward, loving the feeling of Draco's hot, wet cock rubbing against his own. He kissed along Draco's neck knowing that the blond enjoyed it and then slowly started biting, pulling at his soft, fair skin with his teeth. And then Draco was whimpering again at how good it felt. Harry relished the sound. He knew exactly how to please his lover and he took great pride in making sure he gave Draco every pleasure he could possible dream up.

Draco was spreading his legs and working his hips forward into Harry's while his hands moved everywhere. Harry was having a hard time concentrating because of those damn hands. On his chest pinching and lightly twisting his nipples, running through his hair, fingers trailing over his lips, a hand venturing down to squeeze his ass. Harry moaned and lifted Draco's leg, wrapping it around his waist. The friction between them increased and they both began making incoherent sounds of ecstasy.

"Fuck me… Fuck me now." Draco was breathing into Harry's ear, his hot breath rushing across Harry's skin and leaving it moistened. Draco gently bit at Harry's earlobe pulling it with his teeth, teasing it with his tongue until finally Harry knew he'd most certainly had enough of foreplay.

He wanted to be inside Draco. Now.

He spread Draco's legs as far as he could and reached down to gently press a finger inside his lover's tight body. He whispered the lubrication charm and felt Draco jerk a little as his insides were magically coated with warm oil. Harry did the same thing for his cock, closing his eyes and moaning as he stroked it. Draco was kissing all over his face and Harry slowly started pressing forward. The angle was different and he couldn't sink very much of himself into the slackened, dripping wet hole.

Harry grunted in frustration before he used a wandless accio to summon his wand to his hand. Without hesitation he pointed at Draco's chest and said, "Wingardium Leviosa."

Draco's body lifted into the air and he shouted in surprise, "What the fuck!"

Harry didn't reply, only spread Draco's legs while he floated in the air and slowly pressed inside of him. Draco, now realizing the point of his being levitated chuckled, "Good idea." As he tilted his head back and relaxed into the feeling of Harry thrusting into his body.

Harry grabbed hold of Draco's hips, and tugged him down on his length making the blond**'**s cries momentarily change from pleasure to discomfort. Harry knew now for fact that indeed his cock had gotten bigger. Draco's body felt so much tighter and he struggled to force himself inside. He wondered briefly if he should wait a moment for Draco to adjust, but Draco answered that for him.

"Don't stop… Don't stop…" He was calling, his voice sounding high and breathy.

Was Draco in one of his masochistic moods again? Feeling encouraged, Harry thrust harder, finally slipping all of himself deep into Draco's clenching tunnel. Harry let his head fall back and moaned at the ceiling as though to inform it that Draco was the most amazing fuck anyone had ever had. Harry felt Draco's hand on his cheek and he looked at him again. Draco was just the most beautiful creature that had every walked the earth. And Harry felt a mixture of pure admiration and pride. Draco was his. Of all the people in the world, this gorgeous being wanted him.

Draco smiled a little and whispered, "Kiss me."

Harry definitely didn't need to be told twice. Not a second after the words had left the blond's lips, Harry was kissing him passionately. Filling his mouth with his tongue, tasting everything there was to taste in him. Cold and spicy and sweet and a little bitter from the lingering taste of come. But that only made Harry want to kiss him more. It made him want to fuck Draco harder so that he'd come again and Harry could lick it off of him.

Realizing that he'd neglected to pleasure Draco, Harry reached down and grabbed hold of Draco's throbbing erection. He tugged it and stroked it quickly**, s**preading the glistening beads of wetness across the head. Draco was thrusting his hips into Harry's hand, obviously loving the feeling. And Harry smiled. There was nothing that got him off more than knowing how much he could pleasure Draco.

The rim of Draco's hole was so tight Harry almost couldn't stand it. Feeling uncomfortably close to his orgasm, he pulled all the way out and took a few deep breaths to calm himself. That was until Draco started whining.

"Noooo! Back in! I want it inside!" Draco cried out, his nails digging harshly into Harry's back.

Gasping for breath and knowing the**y** would both be finished soon anyway, Harry plunged his cock all the way bad inside Draco's tight, slick entrance. That single thrust was so good Harry's eyes rolled back and he felt his thighs begin to tremble. Not pausing for a moment, he continued thrusting forward, fucking Draco with everything he had and feeling the heat begin to build throughout his body.

The feeling seemed to become too much for Draco. He wasn't even moaning anymore, just gasping for breath. His eyes glazed over, his mouth wide open, his hands clinging to Harry for dear life as he was fucked harder than he'd ever been before. Harry knew he must've been stroking all the right spots in Draco because the blond seemed almost unaware of Harry's presence. His eyes were wide as saucers but seemed to be looking at something very, very far away.

And Harry was so hard he almost felt his cock would just explode from the strain. It was so good he couldn't imagine it feeling better. If it did he might just pass out. His hips rammed forward with bruising force, his rhythm totally ruined as his body prepared for orgasm. Already his muscles were trembling and twitching, his balls tightening and his head beginning to feel both heavy and light at the same time.

"Harry…" Draco whispered he head resting against the wall behind him, "Harry… Harry… I'm gonna come for you."

Harry growled out a moan at those words, trying to control himself. His fist continued to throttle Draco's swollen member. He knew the exact moment when Draco's orgasm came upon him. His body started seizing up, his hole twitching a few times in warning before simply clamping down so hard Harry had trouble continuing his thrusts.

And then Draco was screaming, his arms pulling Harry closer, his come spurting up between their chest, hot and thick. Harry couldn't hold back his orgasm anymore. He wouldn't have tried even if he could. The floodgates opened up letting the fires of his lust hit him like a tidal wave. Harry was moaning so loud his throat hurt, but Draco's inside were still pulsing and tight and his orgasm just seemed to drag on and on.

He felt a seemingly endless amount of his semen filling the blond up, painting his raw inner walls. But eventually Harry was emptied**, h**is stomach still clenching hard, his breath dragging almost painfully in and out of his lungs.

They stayed that way a while longer, neither able to move. But Harry's softening member did eventually fall out of Draco's body, drips of his seed following after it. As soon as he was coherent, Harry grabbed his wand and let Draco down from where he was suspended against the wall. But as soon as Harry let go of the spell, the boy crumpled to the ground, too weak to stand.

Harry instantly went to his side to see if he was okay, but Draco was laughing quietly and struggling to get his muscles under control.

"I think…" he breathed out carefully, "We should do it in the broom closet more often."

Harry laughed as well and bent down to claim Draco's lips in a loving kiss, "Or I could just fuck you against a wall in the tower room."

Draco smiled weakly, his eyes heavily lidded, "Deal."

Xx-XxX-xX

Well that's all the chaps I have today. At least, all the ones I have that are beta'd. My wonderful amazing Beta Neko is already working on 36 and 37 and I'm typing up 38 tonight. So there's no need to worry about anymore missed deadlines.

Thanks for reading and please review.

-The evil fanfic author that kept you waiting for a month

MUHAHAHA….Ha…. O.o


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

Harry checked his watch as he ran down the hall. Had he and Draco really been going at it for over an hour? At the beginning of the year Harry could hardly last 15 minutes in the loo. Was he just getting better at controlling himself?

It was already 6:30 and he'd promised to help his friends try and find more info on Ginny's poison in the library. At this rate he'd hardly have time to crack open a book before he'd have to leave for Dumbledore's office. He reached the library just then and nearly threw open the doors in his haste to reach Hermione and apologize for his tardiness.

As he walked through the tables and shelves he heard lots of whispers and figured it was about what he'd done to Seamus earlier. He really did need to apologize about that. He found Hermione, Ron, Parvati, Luna, Neville and Seamus all around a table near the back with stacks upon stacks of books. As he approached everyone turned to look at him and he was a little surprised to see more than a few of them blush and look away.

"Sorry I'm so late. I finally found what I was looking for earlier though. And that took a little more of my time than I would've guessed." Harry said sitting down his heavy school bag in the nearest vacant chair.

Hermione opened her mouth as though to speak but Harry put his hand up to stop her, "I really am sorry I'm late." he said seriously, "And I'm sorry for punching you Seamus, you just caught me at a really bad time."

Seamus laughed looking rather amused, "Really Harry, it's not a big deal. Pomfrey fixed me right up. And looking at you now, I couldn't be mad if I tried!"

Harry brow furrowed as a round of nervous giggles started up among his friends.

"What?" Harry asked confused.

Hermione was obviously trying very hard not to laugh as she stepped towards him, "Did you stop to look in the mirror before you came here?"

"No, I was late. I rushed right over." Harry said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Well Harry… you certainly look as though you've been… _busy_." She whispered the last word.

"Oh god…" Ron moaned putting his head in his hands, "Someone give him a fucking mirror."

Parvati pulled a compact out of her pocket and handed it to him. Glancing back and forth at his blushing friends, Harry opened the mirror and nearly choked when he saw his appearance.

He had small bite marks from his collar bone leading up to his ear. His lips were shiny and swollen, his hair was an absolute wreck. His robes looked as though they'd been hastily thrown on, though that also could've been attributed to his running. Well… he certainly looked shagged.

Clearing his throat, Harry looked at his friends, "Okay so I was… busy. So what." He muttered trying to hold on to whatever last bits of dignity that he had.

Very suddenly Hermione paled and leaned closer to him, her eyes zeroing in on his face, "Harry… What _is_ that on your cheek?"

Not remembering seeing anything on his cheek Harry lifted the compact again and stared in horror at the thin creamy white smudge on his right cheekbone. As soon as he recognized what it was his face started burning in shame making the white substance even more noticeable.

Ron's mouth was agape before his blue eyes simply rolled back and he fainted clean away, rather spectacularly face planting on the book _Magical Maladies_.

Harry sat the mirror down on the table and reached up to cover his cheek before he hastily excused himself and ran to the bathroom.

Xx-xX

By the time Ron came to again, Harry was much more presentable and sitting across the table flipping through a thick old book. Most of the group of teenagers had moved on from Harry's rather embarrassing entrance and was now concentrating on searching through the dusty volumes looking for any mentions of sleep poisons.

Ron lifted his head and looked around at his friends. His cheek was bright red and had a few of the letters from the title of the book imprinted on it.

"Hermione?" Ron asked in a thick sleepy voice.

The bushy haired girl didn't look up as she continued skimming down a page of text, "Yes, Ron?"

Ron swallowed thickly, "That was jizz on Harry's cheek wasn't it?"

All of their heads popped up from the books they'd been buried in and Harry's cheeks flamed to life again.

"Yes, Ron." Hermione replied sounding rather disinterested.

Ron nodded, "Thought so." He replied before his head fell back down on the book.

Xx-xX

Harry sighed as he climbed the stairs up to the 6th year boy's dorm. He stretched his neck painfully but couldn't seem to get it to crack. Nearly 4 hours of organizing Dumbledore's office and the shelves were still littered with endless amounts of papers and magical objects that it might indeed take Harry a full two weeks for any progress to actually show. And Dumbledore had strictly forbidden him to use magic while he cleaned.

Not only that, but Filch escorted him back to the portrait hole to ensure he actually went back to his dorms where he belonged.

Feeling totally, utterly worn out, Harry didn't bother trying to be quiet as he came into the room. Unlike the in the Slytherin boy's dorm, the Gryffindors usually slept with their curtains open. Closed curtains meant you were either wanking or in a terrible mood. But it seemed like Slytherins just required a lot of privacy. Harry kicked off his shoes and crooked one finger into the knot of his tie, loosening it until he could pull it over his head.

He began throwing off his robes, leaving them in the middle of the floor before he headed off to take a shower. He was much too sweaty to go to sleep without one. The warm shower did a little to help relax his tense muscles and stiff back, but he was still rather sore and beginning to develop a small headache. He came back from the shower with one towel around his waist and another he was using to dry his hair. He finished drying off on his way back to his bed, dropping his towel along with his clothes on the floor before picking up his pajama bottoms and putting them on. He kicked his dirty clothes and the damp towel into a pile, not inclined to be any neater. He knew the elves would come and clean up, and though usually he tried never to leave a mess for them, tonight he was too tired to care.

He finished ruffling his wet hair with the second smaller towel before dropping that too with the rest of his laundry. He sat on the edge of his bed and stretched once more, trying again unsuccessfully to make the aches go away.

He smiled a little before grabbing the small picture frame off his bed side table. It was his mom and dad at their wedding. Sirius was in it too, grinning from ear to ear right beside the father Harry hardly knew. He touched the cold glass over their happy laughing faces reverently.

"Night mum, night dad, night Sirius." He whispered to them knowing they couldn't hear him.

It'd been a ritual he'd started long ago, when he first came to Hogwarts. Back then he did it every night. Harry let out a long sigh before carefully setting the picture back down on his table. He touched the locket that hung heavily over his heart and sat in thought for a while, thinking about Draco and how he'd be unable to see him at night for two weeks.

"Voyeurism is seriously underrated." Someone whispered.

Harry's head whipped around to search for the source of the voice. Long arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him back further onto the bed as his curtains magically slid closed.

Draco's head popped out from under Harry's invisibility cloak and he grinned cheekily, "Well hullo there, Mr. Potter."

"Gah! God damn it, Draco! You scared me!" Harry whispered harshly to him.

"Don't worry about being quiet. I already cast a silencing charm on your curtains." Draco smirked as he pulled the invisibility cloak off of the rest of his body.

"What're you doing here?" Harry asked shocked to think that Draco had been there the entire time.

"Returning your invisibility cloak obviously." Draco replied easily as though it were totally obvious.

"But how will you get out tomorrow morning?" Harry challenged.

The blond paused in thought for a second before he looked up at Harry his silvery eyes glowing in the darkness, "Mind if I borrow your invisibility cloak?" He asked sweetly.

Harry sighed and rolled his eyes though he did have trouble keeping the smile off his lips. He pulled Draco towards him and gave him a light kiss on his lips, "So how long have you been here?"

Draco smiled and kissed again softly, "I followed a first year in right before curfew."

Harry swallowed feeling a little embarrassed, "So you were watching me from the moment I got back?" he asked ashamed of the way he could hear his insecurities in his voice.

Draco's responding smile was so genuine that Harry felt some of his worry die away.

"Yes," the blond responded, "And you're so damn cute, Harry." Draco kissed him again, this time letting it become a little deeper, their lips making soft noises as they parted and met over and over.

"Do you say good night to your parents every night like that?" Draco whispered as he pulled Harry a little tighter against him.

Harry felt his face growing hot and he cleared his throat as quietly as he could, "Not…_every_ night." He muttered.

Draco pulled away a little to examine Harry's face. He gently stroked Harry's cheek with the back of his hand, "Don't tell me you're embarrassed about it?"

Harry was unable to stop himself from kissing Draco's fingers as the passed rather closely to his lips, "Well… I've never let anyone see me do that or anything so…"

"Well I thought it was the most amazingly sweet thing I'd ever seen." Draco replied, "I'm glad I came."

Harry smiled, "Me too. I really missed you last night you know. You never did tell me where you went…" Harry trailed trying not to let too much suspicion show in his voice.

"And you never did tell me what your nightmare was about. Not that time from before Christmas either." Draco accused his eyes growing a little harder.

Harry bit his lip and looked away, "You really, really don't want to know."

Draco got up on he knees and replied, "How about this? I can tell you're really stiff and sore. So in exchange for telling me about the nightmares, I'll give you a massage."

"Oh god, would you, please?" Harry said flipping over onto his stomach. His back was so tense a massage sounded as good as an orgasm.

Draco smiled and Harry felt the boy straddle his hips, "Mmm…" Draco whispered wistfully, "You can't let me do this too often." He said gently running his hands up the length of Harry's back, "I might just take advantage of you."

"I wouldn't mind." Harry whispered as Draco's hands began carefully kneading his sore muscles, "Merlin, that's good, Draco." Harry moaned out as he felt his entire body beginning to relax.

Draco's skilled fingers rolled the muscles beneath Harry's skin, controlling them and bending them to his will. Forcing every ounce of stress and stiffness away. Harry's mind was clearing, every ache that he'd had when he'd first returned all but evaporated. His worries began to melt and leave his mind and heart to rest. He hadn't realized they'd been weighing so heavily on him until they were gone.

Harry's body felt almost peacefully numb and he sank into his mattress feeling suddenly so serene it was hard to keep his eyes open. Draco's hands were strong and soft as they commanded Harry's body, working every bit of tension in his spine and shoulders and neck away until all that remained was pure pleasure. Harry couldn't remember the last time he felt this good.

"Harry?" Draco whispered bending to kiss the back of Harry's neck, "Harry, don't fall asleep on me."

The Gryffindor let out a tortured sounding groan in response, just to show that he was indeed still awake, and not very happy about it. Draco kissed Harry's neck a few more times before lying down beside him.

Harry moaned in disappointment wanted the massage to last just a little longer…

"From the look on your face I'd say I've held up my end of the bargain." Draco said poking Harry in the shoulder, "Now wake up, Harry or I might actually get mad at you."

Harry sighed with annoyance and opened his eyes, "I was really enjoying that you know." Harry snapped.

"I can tell. And maybe I'll continue if you stop being such a dick. We made a deal here Harry." Draco said firmly.

Harry sat up and stretched, instantly awarded with a symphony of satisfying cracks. Feeling that Draco had indeed held up his end of the deal, Harry felt required to keep up his. He fluffed the pillows as the head of the bed and half reclined against them. If he lay down any longer, he knew he'd be asleep in no time. He smiled half heartedly and held out his arm, beckoning Draco forward.

The blond gave him a full grin before snuggling comfortably up to his side. Harry closed his eyes as he remembered the first nightmare and shivered impulsively at the disgust and fear he felt welling up inside of him.

"It's okay Harry." Draco whispered, one of his hands placed softly over Harry's heart, "I'm here with you."

Harry nodded trying to remind himself of that. That he wouldn't open his eyes to see blood dripping from Draco's face. As if to assure himself of this he forced his eyes open and looked at Draco. He sighed with relief to see that the Slytherin was simply staring at him with gently glowing silvery blue eyes.

"Is it that terrible?" he asked quietly.

"You can't imagine." Harry responded. With his free hand he scratched his head lightly before beginning, "I…I don't remember much of the first one." Harry started slowly, knowing it was a lie and hoping Draco wouldn't notice.

"You're lying." Draco shot back instantly.

Harry sighed. He'd really hoped that would work, "Alright… so I do remember. But really Draco, I don't see what you stand to gain from making me relive this."

"You said part of it was slipping into You-kno—Voldemort's mind." Draco replied, "I think I'd like to know what you saw."

Harry stared up at his canopy, "I was falling." He started slowly, "That's how all my dreams start and end. It didn't used to be that way. Not until I met you at least."

Draco remained silent, his eyes trained on Harry's face, "Go on." He prompted carefully.

"I saw you. In a hallway. But I couldn't chase after you. I tried but I couldn't move fast enough. You went into Dumbledore's office."

Draco stiffened at Harry's side and Harry glanced down to look at him, "You okay?" he asked a little worried.

"Yeah. Guess I was just… picturing it too clearly." Draco said looking away, "Keep going."

Harry heard the little voice in the back of his head say Draco was lying, but he didn't feel like pressuring the blond just yet.

"Voldemort was talking to Snape about tying up loose ends or something." Harry continued, "But then you came back and I tried to help you. You told me to save you and then y-you were bleeding. A lot, from your mouth and eyes and a snake crawled out."

Draco was strangely silent at Harry's side while he tried to catch his breath. He could feel his heart hammering away under Draco's palm as he pictured it all again.

"We were in the Chamber of Secrets then. I wasn't holding you anymore it was Ginny and she was bleeding too. Tom Riddle said she belonged to him. And then he was laughing and everyone was screaming at me to save them but I couldn't. And you pushed me off a cliff and a basilisk ate me."

Draco let out a shaky breath, "Is that the end?" he whispered.

Harry nodded unable to speak as he tried to get the hitches in his breathing under control. But of course Draco heard. He always does.

Xx-xX

Draco sat up and turned to look at Harry surprised to see him crying openly, "Oh, Harry." Draco whispered leaning forward to kiss the tears away, "I'm sorry, we don't have to talk about it anymore. I'm sorry… Please don't cry." Draco nearly begged feeling a terrible pain in his chest at having been the one to make Harry cry.

"Y-you don't know what it's like." Harry sobbed out before reaching up with one hand to touch Draco's cheek, "To see someone you love h-hurting so bad and not being able to do a damn thing about it." Harry whispered his voice catching on the words, all of his pain pouring out.

He took hold of Draco's face in both his hands, his fingers gently caressing his skin. His wet eyes ran over Draco's features in a way that seemed as though he were looking at Draco from another time, seeing the remnants of the nightmarish vision still on Draco's face.

Harry pulled Draco forward placing a tentative kiss on his lips. Draco accepted the kiss though he was more than a little worried about Harry's state of mind. He kissed him back with every bit of love he had inside himself, hoping beyond hope it would be enough to heal him, even just a little.

"Shh…" Draco tried to comfort, though inside he was feeling just as unsettled, "Don't talk about it anymore. Just forget…" he whispered laying soft kisses all over Harry's face.

"No…" Harry murmured before his voice grew stronger, "You're right that these dreams are important. I'm just scared of them. Of what they mean. I don't want to think about it, but I think I should."

Draco tried to swallow down his panic and shook his head, "I was stupid Harry. I shouldn't have forced you to talk about them. They're painful memories for you. And you shouldn't dwell on them."

Harry shook his head again, "The second one was worse."

Draco didn't immediately reply. Of course he wanted to convince Harry not to put any weight on the dreams or tell Dumbledore about them, but he was also curious about what else he might've seen. Harry's dreams seemed strangely prophetic, and Draco was scared that Harry might already know too much.

"You said I couldn't save you." Harry whispered, "You were right… I don't think I can save anyone."

Glad at least that the tears had stopped falling, Draco stroked Harry's cheek softly, "You shouldn't have to. You don't always have to be the hero, you know."

Harry looked up, his green eyes clearly shocked as though he'd never even considered that before, "…I don't?" He asked innocently.

Draco sighed and felt his lips curling into a sad smile. This boy was so used to saving everyone. He'd been saving the world since he was 1 year old. Fighting a war that he had never asked for with courage. He was so used to playing the role of hero that the thought of not being able to save someone hurt him so deeply, he cried. Why would fate let a boy this brave and loving and pure fall in love with the one un-saveable person in the whole damned school?

"No, Harry." Draco whispered lightly pressing their lips together in a single, chaste kiss, "You don't"

Harry smiled a little and sniffled, "Thanks for talking some sense into me."

Draco chuckled, "If I don't, who will?"

Harry wrapped his arms around Draco's lithe body, letting them savor just being with one another. Draco felt so perfect here in Harry's arms. It was so good it hurt. Because good things end. And this good thing, was going to end sooner than even Harry's dreams could predict. Draco bit his lip and squeezed Harry a little tighter, begging in his mind that when the chaos finally hit, he'd be able to hang onto Harry just a little longer. But he knew that even if his will was strong, his arms were simply too weak.

Harry pulled Draco onto him so that the blond was straddling his lap. If they hadn't fucked so long in that storage closet, they might've been able to do something tonight to help ease their worries. But alas, they'd been overzealous after a night apart. Draco let himself relax against Harry's chest. His skin was always to damn soft. Draco wished he could feel it against his. But he couldn't take his shirt off. Instead, Draco just enjoying lying with Harry as he was, hoping the boy wouldn't comment on his clothing.

"Draco…" Harry whispered after a little while, his warm breath stirring Draco's pale hair.

"Mm?" was the only response Draco could manage with how comfortable he was.

"Where did you go?"

Draco paused for a moment but kept his breathing and heart rate calm. He could handle this.

"Nowhere, really." Draco whispered feigning a big yawn.

Harry's fingers grasped gently at his chin and pulled his face upwards so that they could make eye contact. Draco's immediate impulse was to maintain eye contact to assure Harry he was okay. But now that he knew for sure that Harry could see the subtle differences in his eyes, that wasn't safe. Draco looked away.

"What do you mean 'nowhere really'? You must've been somewhere." Harry probed, his bright jade eyes burning right through into Draco's mind where all his secrets were held.

Draco sighed trying to think of an escape, "I'm really tired, Harry and it's a long story. I'll tell you tomorrow." He muttered moving to lay his head on Harry's chest once more, but the Gryffindor wouldn't allow him to.

"I'm serious, Draco. I was worried sick over you. I want to know where you were." Harry said his voice sounding once more, strong and fully awake.

Draco closed his eyes and thought for a few seconds. So he wasn't going to able to sleep and hope Harry would forget by tomorrow. Now time for a lie, but what would be a good one? He needed something believable. But something just outrageous enough that Harry would understand why he didn't come to the tower room.

"Snape." He started not knowing what else to say, "He… wanted to talk to me. He was upset about me meeting you and told me I should stop."

That much was true. This morning Snape had warned him to stay away from Harry. But it wasn't because of his personal convictions. Snape was just a practical man who knew it would be safer for everyone if Draco broke this off now. But he didn't understand, there was simply no way for Draco to say no to Harry. Even when he'd tried… he'd pushed Harry away for a just a few seconds while they kissed in that closet, but the pain that pierced his chest and the obvious sadness and hurt in Harry's eyes had been too much.

"Are you kidding?" Harry laughed, "Since when do you listen to him?"

Draco averted his eyes, "He said if he found out I was still seeing you he'd tell my father."

**_Good one. Nice save.**_ Draco thought to himself. That should be enough to explain why Draco was hesitant to meet with Harry.

Harry was silent for a few seconds, "So you let me worry like that because you were afraid of your father?"

Draco bit the inside of his cheek. Okay so maybe it wasn't good enough. He struggled to think of more to say but came up empty. He settled for a look of shame, hoping that would be enough to prompt Harry into speaking further. Luckily, it was.

"Don't you know I would die to protect you, Draco? If your father comes after you, he'll have to get through me first." Harry asked, anger starting to tinge his words.

Perfect. Now all Draco had to do was play off of that, "And you think I'd like that, huh?" Draco whispered darkly, "To see you killed because of me?"

The beginnings of Harry's anger began to settle back down and Draco mentally sighed in relief.

"I wouldn't be killed Draco." Harry tried to assure but there was a hint of nervousness in his voice.

"You don't know that Harry." Draco whispered now trying to play on Harry's love for him. It was the final card, if he could get it right Harry would forget about worrying exactly where he was last night. Draco still hadn't told him. He'd only talked about what Snape had said.

"Why do you think I pushed you away earlier in the closet?" Draco asked using that hint of truth to make his story more real, "I'm scared for us both Harry. And we really can't keep this up much longer… Snape had me thinking about so much last night. Like maybe… It'd be better if we broke up now instead of waiting for the war to rip us apart."

The absolute terror on Harry's face caused a few dull pains to shoot through Draco's heart. He looked away to avoid seeing it.

"Wha— No! No we're going to be together forever Draco. I'm not ever letting you go." Harry exclaimed squeezing the blond so tight Draco had trouble drawing his next breath.

"I don't want to either… But we can't stay together Harry. We knew that from the beginning." Draco whispered. And that was nothing but the truth.

"You're spouting nonsense." Harry whispered, but he sounded as though he were trying to convince himself, "You really are tired, Draco. Go to sleep. You'll forget all about this stuff in the morning."

Feeling intensely guilty, Draco lowered his eyes and laid his head back on Harry's chest. Warm, strong arms wrapped around his shoulders, securing him there. He let out a shivering breath trying very hard not to cry. Why in the hell had he let this continue so long? Why had he listened to Granger that day in Hogsmeade? This all would've been so much easier if they'd just split up and stayed that way. It was going to hurt so bad now when they left. Draco was afraid he might not live through it. If this was the pain he got from just contemplating it in the near future, what would be like when Harry was gone? When Harry hated him for choosing the wrong side? What if they had to fight each other?

Draco choked on his breath and he knew Harry heard him. Harry gently patted his back and whispered, "Shhhh, love. Just sleep."

And when Harry called him love... The warm tingles that spread through his body were too good to resist. He wanted to hear it again. He wanted to hear Harry say that he loved him over and over. He wanted to say it back. God he wanted to! He wanted to watch Harry's emerald eyes light up. He wanted Harry to kiss him and hold him and listen to him say how much he loved him. He wanted to watch Harry come and whisper it in his ear and know those three words were what truly pushed him over the edge.

Draco sighed and tried to relax a little more, knowing the current of fate was going to rip him away, but wishing their arms were strong enough to hang on. And who knows… Harry was a hero after all. He was the boy-who-lived-to-be-the-most-amazing-person-in-the-world, maybe Harry was strong enough.

Draco smiled bitterly as he drifted off to sleep, wishing he could believe that.

Xx—XxX-xX

Well that it's for today guys. Sorry this chap is a bit on the short and sad side. But I promise I'll do my best to happy it up for a little while.

Thank you guys so much for following this story. I really do appreciate all the reviews and alerts and favorites this story gets.


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

Harry watched as Draco slowly came into awareness as he woke from a deep sleep. He stirred once or twice, obviously not willing to fully wake up just yet. His eyes flickered beneath his lids a few times before he snuggled closer to Harry's warmth. Harry didn't know he could ever love a person as much as he loved Draco. As soon as he'd recognized his love for what it was, the feeling had overpowered him, and it hadn't let up since. He always felt as though he was simply bursting with love, so much of it that most times he truly felt his body was small in comparison, and wouldn't be able to hold it inside.

He liked watching Draco sleeping, listening to his small, rather cute little snores. Liked watching his eyes dart around behind his pale eyelids. Liked seeing his mouth parted and his lips wet. And most of all, he just loved seeing Draco so relaxed. The boy never had all of his barriers down. Of course, only the barest of essentials stayed up with Harry, but Harry wasn't stupid enough to believe that Draco wasn't hiding anything. He knew that there were plenty of times were Draco had avoided telling him things, and times when the Slytherin had outright lied. But what Draco didn't understand was, knowing all that didn't make Harry love him any less.

Still he loved the innocent, open look on Draco's face as he slept. How every small worry line seemed to evaporate into nothing, leaving Draco's already angelic face more breathtaking than Harry could imagine anything in the world could ever be.

Harry was lightly stroking Draco's soft blond hair when the boy's eyes slowly fluttered open. He immediately closed them again and sighed, nuzzling towards Harry's hand.

"That feels good…" He murmured still not quite awake.

Smiling, Harry continued.

After a few more minutes, Draco's eyes opened again, but this time they stayed that way. Harry stared down into his gorgeous irises, trying to memorise the way the silvery gray and pale blue mixed together. Harry wasn't at all surprised to see his feelings were mirrored on the Slytherin's face. Draco stared up at him with such strong affection that Harry had trouble breathing from the sight of it.

"Morning, beautiful." Draco whispered softly.

Harry grinned, "I was about to say the same thing to you."

Draco smiled back before stretching a little, but still he made no move to get up, "What time is it?" he asked

"A little after 10 I think. But don't worry!" he said as soon as he felt Draco about to jerk up, "It's Saturday."

"Oh." Draco said obviously relieved, "I can spend the entire day in bed with you then." He said with an impish grin.

"Mmm…You definitely can." Harry replied stroking Draco's hair once more.

They lay together thus, just relaxing in the dim light of Harry's bed with the curtains drawn. They simply enjoyed the silence and the warmth and the comfort. That was all they really needed after all. But Harry had a few things on his mind and after a little while, he felt it was time to voice them.

In the time he had with his own thoughts, before Draco woke up, he'd considered a few things. He knew from the look on Draco's face last night that boy really didn't expect them to stay together beyond this school year. But Harry couldn't imagine a life without Draco in it. Not anymore. He couldn't even imagine how he could've possibly made it through 16 years without Draco to hold and kiss and love. And now that he had those things, he wasn't going to let them go. Not for Voldemort or anyone else who tried to take this love away from him. He'd fight with everything he had to keep it.

But of course, Draco seemed resigned to becoming a Death Eater. And that caused serious problems for the whole 'staying together' plan. So Harry had been thinking of a way to change his mind, all morning in fact. As he'd stared at Draco's peaceful face, he was just more convinced he couldn't ever part with him.

"Draco?" Harry asked, keeping his voice calm.

Draco was slow to respond, his eyes half lidded, his mind obviously floating off to some tranquil place, "Mm… yeah, Harry?" he muttered finally.

"You remember our little imaginary home? Away from the cities?" Harry asked.

Draco chuckled and closed his eyes for a second, seemingly remembering, and the memory put a smile on his face, "Yeah, I remember."

"Well it's not exactly away from the city, and it's not small either. It's sort of old and slightly dusty, but it's warm and it's mine. I have a house, Draco. I inherited it from Sirius." Harry continued slowly, making sure his voice stayed soft and gentle so that his words wouldn't make Draco tense.

The blond nodded slowly, his eyes still closed, "It sounds nice but I don't think it suits you. You need sunshine and wide fields to fly on your broom. You need a place where no one will bug you about being famous or beg you to save them." Draco continued, his voice sounding much more coherent and awake.

Harry swallowed as he thought about a place like that with nothing but longing. Draco was right that a small home somewhere far away from everything else would suit him just perfectly. And he wanted a place like that, one day.

"But for now," Harry spoke a continuation of his thoughts, "The house I've got is my home. And I… want you to come live there with me. Over the summer."

Draco's eyes slowly slid open. He didn't look at Harry, he stared straight up, "Don't do this to me." He whispered so softly Harry had to strain to hear it. But the pain in the words was as clear as daylight.

"Number 12 Grimmauld Place isn't a mansion like you're used to. But I think you'd like it. I'd take care of you, Draco. I promise no one will be able to hurt you. I'll end this stupid war, and you can stay with me forever." Harry continued, now not bothering to worry about the volume or tone of his voice.

Draco's eyes finally flickered over to Harry's face, but only for a split second before he looked away again, "I can't, Harry."

"I want you to join Dumbledore's side." Harry continued unrelentingly, "He'll protect you. _I'll_ protect you. I know you don't agree with Voldemort on any of his views, and you don't agree with his methods either. And I also know you're in love with me Draco." Harry announced clearly.

Draco's silvery eyes shot up to look at him as though slightly shocked Harry would simply say something like that. But if there was anything Harry was sure of in this world, it was that Draco did indeed love him. And Harry wasn't afraid to say so, even if Draco was.

He ran his hand through Draco's silky soft hair again feeling the first stings of rejection since the boy obviously wasn't too keen on the idea, "Stay with me…" Harry whispered.

The pain that appeared on Draco's face was hard to look at, but Harry didn't look away. He stared bravely down into Draco's eyes, "Please?" he begged quietly.

Draco's eyes began to shine with wetness and Harry was surprised at how much sorrow the boy seemed to be harboring deep inside somewhere, locked away from Harry's view.

"I _can't_." Draco repeated, his voice shaking with the effort it must've taken for him to control his emotions.

"You're not a bad person, Draco!" Harry nearly shouted, "You're an amazing, clever, sweet, loving person and you don't belong with them! You belong with me. You belong right here next to me for the rest of your life."

Draco choked on what was undeniably a sob and he scrambled up reaching for Harry's invisibility cloak, "I have to go." He muttered.

Harry caught his wrists and tried to restrain him, resulting in a quick struggle for dominance which Harry swiftly won, pinning Draco down to the bed.

"Just listen." Harry implored.

"No! You don't understand." Draco shouted struggling against him, obviously panicking as it became more and more apparent he was on the razors edge of crying.

"Then stop hiding from me!" Harry screamed down at him. The volume of his voice stilled the blond for a few moments as Harry continued, "Stop lying to me and to yourself, Draco. You keep acting like there's no way out of this but there is! Just come with me. Come with me and I'll make sure everything is okay."

"Stop trying to be a fucking hero all the time!" Draco shouted back his struggling renewed.

"I wouldn't have to if you stopped being a fucking martyr!" Harry hollered back as he fought to keep Draco down. But as thin as the boy looked, he was strong and Harry, though just strong enough to restrain him at first, couldn't keep him there against his will.

"I love you, Draco. I'll do anything to keep you here. Safe and happy and by my side, where you _want_ to be. You fucking know you want it! So why are you refusing?"

"Just trust me! I'm making the right decision." Draco growled out finally beginning to gain the upper hand in their physical battle.

"How can I trust a liar!" Harry yelled so loud it hurt his throat. The millisecond the words slipped out he wished he could take them back.

Anguish and fury erupted on Draco's face, "If I'm a liar then why do you want me to join you!" He shrieked, "You think you're a hero but you're not. You're a stupid, immature, selfish, uncaring little boy with a wand. And _you can't save me_."

At the final words, Harry recoiled, his hands immediately letting go of Draco before he backed away.

"This is a nightmare…" he whispered almost trying to convince himself. It'd be a thousand times easier if it was. But Harry was painfully aware that he was awake.

Xx-xX

Draco swallowed hard and slowly sat up rubbing his sore wrists and looking balefully at Harry. He regretted his words already but he knew they needed to be said. He saw how Harry had immediately retreated from the sting the words had caused, and as much as it hurt, Draco knew it was right the right thing to do. He wouldn't be able to stay. And he needed to make that as clear as possible.

Still, he couldn't believe the insults that had just slipped past his lips. He wanted to take them back. To shove them back down his throat so he could take away that look on Harry's face. But he knew that was impossible now. Trembling as his anger left in a rush, replaced only by pain Draco cleared his aching throat to speak.

"Harry… I—"

"If that's the way you feel, I think you're right." Harry interrupted, tossing his invisibility cloak into Draco's lap, "You should go."

Draco closed his eyes to try and reign in his feelings. He didn't want Harry to ever see him cry. He didn't want Harry to know all the terrible things he'd done. The terrible things he was going to do in the near future.

"Does that mean… it's over then?" Draco dared to ask, needing to know. Snape had probably been right when he said to cut it off now. But the thought of it caused a searing pain in Draco's chest. He was almost worried it might be a physical injury from how real it felt.

"Of course not." Harry whispered his voice finally softening.

Draco felt on the verge of tears again and he put his hand to his face as though this might somehow help him hold it in. The next thing he knew, Harry's arm was wrapped around his shoulders and he was being held securely against the Gryffindor's chest. Draco couldn't resist the warm comfort and instantly clung to the dark haired boy.

Draco's eyes were screwed shut in a sad attempt to keep his tears locked away. But Harry saw, and Harry knew. He always did.

"You don't have to be afraid to cry, Draco. I won't think any less of you. I love you…" Harry said kissing the top of Draco's head so lightly he barely felt it, "I always will. No matter what you say or do."

Draco's fingers dug painfully hard into Harry's skin as he tried to hang on, as though he might be swept away by his emotions.

"M-Malfoy's don't cry." Draco tried to say but by the time he got the last word out he was sobbing. He felt instantly red faced and ashamed to be so vulnerable in front of Harry.

Crying never changed a god damn thing. It only wasted valuable time. But apparently his need to cry had finally overpowered his strong desire to stay in control. Harry was holding him tight and rocking him back and forth very slowly. And Draco couldn't seem to figure out why.

Hadn't he just said the absolute most dreadful things to make Harry go away? Part of him knew that his words were helpful. That pushing Harry away was for the best. Pushing people away when they got too close was just his natural reaction. But Harry wasn't going anywhere. He was going to hold onto Draco as tightly as he could. And Draco's greatest fear was that Harry was right. He might not ever stop loving him, no matter what Draco said or did to make him stop.

"D-d'you wanna know the truth?" Draco choked out, "As much as I can tell you, anyway?"

Harry didn't respond, only continued to hold Draco steadily against his warm, bare chest and rock him to the rhythm of his pulse. Draco waited until his crying began to wane away. He sucked in ragged breaths, making the most embarrassing wet choking and sobbing sounds as he tried to get control of himself. And Harry was just silent. Draco was grateful. Any sort of valiant heroic words would've just pissed him off. And that's all Harry seemed to spout these days.

As his breathing finally calmed and his crying headache seemed to slowly fade away Draco finally spoke, "If I don't… become a Death Eater, Snape dies."

Harry stilled but didn't respond.

"I know he's a spy for Dumbledore, I've known for a while. Or at least I thought I did, until this year. Now I'm not so sure… But anyway, if I don't do it, your only link to what Voldemort is planning disappears, which puts you and everyone with you in m-more danger than before. "

"How do you know he'll die?" Harry whispered softly.

Draco swallowed and tried to think of a way to tell Harry a half truth. Enough so that he'd understand, but not enough for him to figure anything else out, "He made the unbreakable vow with my father, promising that he'd make sure I… became one of them before the end of the year." Draco lied.

Harry sighed heavily, "You're lying to me, Draco."

The blond tensed at being caught out and wondered how many times Harry knew he was lying and didn't say anything about it, "Yeah." He conceded, "That's the best way I can tell you though. I'm sorry it's not the whole truth."

They sat for a little while longer, Draco simply holding onto Harry and letting their closeness wash away his troubles. For now he had Harry. For now, he was okay. The future would be the painful part. For now he simply needed to stay with Harry and all the worries would go away. It was the future that was terrifying. He shouldn't be wasting the present on these sorts of things.

Much more calm now, Draco lightly kissed Harry's skin in a silent thanks for holding him and listening to him.

"You're right about one thing. I can't save you, Draco." Harry spoke finally.

Draco lowered his eyes and felt fresh tears beginning to silently fall down his cheeks. He'd known that from the start but damn it hurt to hear.

"I can't keep us together by myself." Harry continued, "I may be strong Draco, I may be able to hold onto you for a long time… but I can't keep you with me against your will. If you're going to go with them, I can't stop you."

Draco nodded in understanding, "I'm sorry. For what I said. I was just angry."

"Me too." Harry sighed before chuckling a little, "So much drama and all before breakfast. I'll get Dobby to bring us something."

"Harry," Draco said finally lifting his head to look up at the boy he loved. He was stuck breathless by Harry's kind gaze. His raven black hair spilling in a casually disorganized way across his forehead. His lightly tanned skin, clear and perfect and his god damn eyes, so bright and pure and full of life and unfettered love. Draco always enjoyed hearing Harry say he loved him. But he never needed to hear it again. Seeing that look on Harry's face, he was more sure than he'd ever been in his life about anything. Harry Potter would die for him, would take care of him, would do everything in his power to keep him safe and happy, would love him until his very last breath.

If only that were enough.

"Yes?" Harry asked.

"I-I…" Draco started, struggling to push the words out.

**_Just say it. Say you love him._**

Draco stared up into Harry's endless emerald eyes before smiling, "I like my eggs scrambled."

Xx-XxX-xX

Harry was a little shocked at how easily they'd gotten over one of their worst fights. But it seemed there were both far too in love to stay angry for any length of time. Which was a good thing really, considering they fought quite frequently.

For days after that, Harry continued to lightly hint that Draco was always welcome and Number 12 Grimmauld Place. But Draco was firm in always replying that he simply couldn't. And a few times, Harry had pried deep enough for the boy to reveal there were more reasons beyond Snape's life being on the line.

Harry wondered constantly what it could be, but simply couldn't figure it out. Not only that, but finals were fast approaching as were the final Quidditch matches. Trying to juggle studying, Quidditch, finding a cure for Ginny, Dumbledore's detentions and lessons and convincing Draco to join his side was too much for Harry to do all at once. Luckily, Hermione decided to help him out a little in the studying department by doing a few small assignments for him, and Ron helped in the Quidditch department by running practices in his absence.

Of course he still met with Draco every night and tried to get whatever alone time he could with him during the day. It was becoming ever more apparent that time was truly dwindling and it scared Harry half to death. He couldn't imagine losing Draco, but that's what seemed to be in the near future.

He wanted to stop it; he'd do everything he could. But everything he could just wasn't enough. Not if Draco wouldn't fight for it too.

When finally, Dumbledore's nightly detentions ended, Harry and Draco were free to meet in the tower room which they were sorely beginning to miss. Being cramped together on Harry's bed every night was leaving them both with stiff necks and backs. Luckily for Harry though, Draco was quite generous with his nearly orgasmic massages. But still, they missed the comforting window seat and quiet isolation they had in their tower room. And more than anything, the gentle silvery moonlight that always filled the room. Plus, Harry had promised to fuck Draco against a wall again and they were both looking forward to it.

Also, the room did wonders for their attitudes, and recently, Harry couldn't seem to drag Draco out of his depression. He wanted to find out the truth; all of it. And he wanted Draco to be happy again, at least for whatever time they had left.

Not only that, but Harry was beginning to worry about Draco and his grades. The boy seemed to be missing an outrageous amount of class and always off disappearing someplace. When Harry questioned him, he'd said he was searching the Room of Requirement for something important he'd lost there. Harry'd offered to help of course but Draco ardently refused claiming that he could keep his grades up with a few missed classes but that Harry couldn't.

And Harry had to admit, with Draco's test scores, that was probably true.

Still on this day, as Harry saw Draco sneaking off up the stairs, away from the Charms class where he _should_ have been heading, he couldn't just walk away as though he hadn't seen anything. Making a split decision, Harry turned and jogged up the stairs.

Xx-xX

Draco sighed as he headed towards the Room of Requirement. He knew that he was running out of time if he was gonna finish what he'd started up there. He was surprised he got through the first time. But apparently the stupid thing didn't want to work again. So he was back to square one. Why did everything useful in magic have to be so damn old and dusty and unreliable?

"Hey," Harry whispered in his ear making Draco nearly jump out of his skin.

He turned and glared at the obviously amused Gryffindor, "That wasn't fucking funny. I don't know what it is with you and trying to scare the shit out of me but I _really_ wish you'd stop."

"I can't help it." Harry smiled, leaning close, his voice getting a litter deeper and quieter, "I just love the look on your face…"

Draco swallowed hard as he felt Harry's hand slide down his chest and stomach before settling low on his hip. Draco felt a deep shiver shoot through up his spine, his skin already beginning to heat in preparation for what his body had by now begun to expect.

Draco watched as Harry's eyes darkened in lust, his tongue slipping out to wet his lips. Draco could almost feel the sex and magic pulsing through the air. Suddenly going to the Room of Requirement didn't seem as important as it had a few minutes ago. Harry's lips curled into a smirk and his eyes glanced down before slowly moving all the way back to Draco's face. Draco knew that look. It was half way in between the way Harry's lips curled up into a small sneer just before he came and the sexy smile he shot up at Draco just before he hungrily devoured his cock. It was a look that conveyed that Harry had nothing but pure sin in mind.

Draco wondered what had happened to change Harry's mood so much. This morning, he'd seemed tired and listless. But then again, it didn't really matter what had caused it, only that it was happening and Draco wasn't going to stop it.

"Where were you headed?" Harry whispered shuffling forward another small step so that they were nearly pressed against each other.

"Just trying to ditch Charms." Draco lied carefully but even though Harry didn't comment, Draco had a feeling Harry was quite aware he wasn't being totally honest.

"Come with me to the tower room." Harry pleaded softly.

Draco pouted and shook his head, wishing for nothing more than to relax in front of the huge, bright window, "We can't, it's too far. What're we gonna do? Just run there hiding our hard ons with our hands, hoping no one notices?"

Harry tilted his head as though considering the plan and Draco laughed out loud, "You're such a bloody _Gryffindor_."

Draco glanced back and forth in the hallway before grabbing the front of Harry's shirt roughly and pulling him into a kiss. He loved that Harry didn't waste anytime being sweet. He was immediately nipping Draco's lips and roughly sucking his tongue. Harry pulled away rather quickly though and grabbed Draco's upper arm leading them further down the hall.

Draco followed obediently; positive that soon he'd be getting some much needed stress relief from the boy-who-lived-to-be-god-damn-mind-blowing. They found an unused classroom rather quickly and stepped inside, using all their usual spells to keep themselves from getting caught. Once they were sure no one would be able to open to door or so much as hear a distant moan from outside, they turned towards each other again.

"What's gotten into you, Harry?" Draco asked, voicing his true thoughts, "I didn't expect you to be fucking me in a classroom today."

"I'm not sure." The boy replied already pulling off his clothes and revealing more and more of his golden skin for Draco's viewing pleasure, "I just wanted to spend time with you but as soon as I got close I knew I had to have you today."

Now topless with his fly already unbuttoned and his fleshy cockhead poking out, Harry sauntered over to where Draco was half sitting on a desk. Before Draco could pull Harry into another kiss, like he desperately wanted to, the dark haired boy had already dropped to his knees and was working on getting Draco's pants down. Draco wasn't sure exactly why Harry seemed to enjoy sucking him off so much, but he was more than aware of why he enjoyed it. Harry's mouth was amazing, and he was almost a self taught expert at deep throating, having far surpassed his teacher months ago. The look on Harry's face… Like he'd been craving Draco's cock for so long and was only now getting sweet satisfaction sent ripples of pleasure through Draco's mind every time he saw it. The look in Harry's stunningly bright green eyes as he looked up, pinning Draco with his intense stare as he sucked so nicely on his cock always made Draco's heart skip a beat.

Yes, receiving a blow job from Harry was heaven, and Draco would never refuse one if it was offered to him. Even if he was in a terrible mood, the mere mention of Harry sucking him off brought a smile to his face.

Draco was suddenly brought out of his thoughts as he felt Harry finally free his cock from its cotton prison and stroke it a few times. Harry was smiling up at him now. That heart stopping, '_I want to eat you_' smile. Draco swallowed and felt a rush of air leave his throat as Harry started rubbing his wet lips against the head.

"You want me to suck you, Draco?" Harry asked in an infuriating mocking tone.

"Yeah." Draco replied quickly, reaching down to grab a fistful of Harry's dark, thick hair, "Suck me." Draco commanded, remembering what it was like back when he was in charge.

But Harry, even while on his knees, wouldn't let Draco forget who the real dominator was. He licked his lips and looked longingly at Draco's member before looking up at his face again. Harry's eyes were challenging him, "Beg me for it."

Feeling at first his instant aversion to lowering himself before anyone else, Draco simply frowned but didn't respond. That was until Harry teased him with the lightest of licks with the very tip of his tongue against the sensitive slit of Draco's cock. At which time Draco wasn't able to fully suppress the sound that tried to escape his throat. It seemed Harry was waiting for the begging to start but Draco wasn't going to give in so easily. He stared right back at Harry, not allowing his weakness to show on his face.

Harry's lips twisted into a small frown as he stared upwards, "Let's get one thing straight." Harry whispered his voice already sounding grave, "If you beg me for it, I'll become your shameless little slut. I'll do _anything_ for you." Harry said his eyes glowing ominously from the intensity of his words, "Don't beg? And I'll get myself off with my hand and leave you here."

Draco whimpered at that threat unable to even conceive what it would be like for Harry to leave him here with nothing more than his right hand. And then the promise of _anything_ sounded far too good to give up.

"Please." Draco whispered feeling a few hints of shame at how badly he needed Harry, "Please suck me Harry. Be my slut…" Draco trailed letting the hand he'd had in Harry's hair slip down to caress his cheek. Harry reached up and very gently took hold of Draco's hand before placing Draco's index finger in his mouth. At the sight of Harry tenderly sucking the digit Draco felt his knees grow weak. Harry's eyes slid closed as though he were experiencing something unquestionably pleasurable as he sucked Draco's finger in and out of his mouth, his tongue rolling around it sensually. Harry opened his mouth and let Draco see the way his tongue was massaging the digit, his hot, moist breath blowing across Draco's hand.

Almost shaking from the strain of his arousal, Draco pulled his hand away. And the disappointed look on Harry's face made Draco almost give it back to him. But there was another part of his anatomy dying to be sucked and, Draco wouldn't let Harry neglect it any longer.

"You know I'd do anything for you." Draco whispered down at Harry letting all the emotion inside of him show in his voice, "_Please_. Be my slut. Suck me like I know you're dying to."

The pleased smile that grew on Harry's face warmed Draco from the inside out. Now, more than dominance, he could feel Harry's love radiating in the air around them. He could feel how badly Harry wanted to please him. And he knew beyond a doubt that Harry's offer to do absolutely anything was not faked.

At first Harry pushed Draco's pants down the rest of the way and Draco kicked them, along with his shoes, off and away. Harry's hands ran up from Draco's ankles to his lower stomach where he grabbed Draco's shirt and twisted it up and away to reveal inches of his flat pale stomach. Harry smiled as he leaned in and circled Draco's bellybutton with his tongue before tracing down the line of pale blond hair just beneath it. Draco choked a little on his own saliva as he watched Harry continue downwards, his tongue darting out along the base of Draco's cock all the way down to his heavy balls.

Draco let out his first moan as Harry slowly mouthed his balls, sucking and licking as through Draco's skin was just the most delicious thing he'd ever tasted in his life.

"Spread your legs for me, love." Harry whispered as he gentle squeezed and tugged on Draco's balls with his hand, his mouth now venturing back upward preparing to take in his fully engorged organ.

Draco obeyed, leaning back a little more on the desk with his hands propping him up. He felt Harry's fingers reaching farther back for the tiny hole that was hidden there and Draco felt intense shivers of deep pleasure surging through him.

His second moan was much louder than the first and emitted when Harry finally sucked Draco's erection into his mouth. Once inside that hot, wet mouth Draco couldn't help thrusting forward. And Harry allowed him to, looking actually quite pleased. On the whim of his extreme desire, Draco simply grabbed both sides of Harry's head and began thrusting forward, forcing Harry's throat to cooperate with him. Harry was whimpering now and his finger was slowly pushing inside Draco's body. Draco was gasping for breath from how good it felt to fuck Harry's mouth like this. He realized now that this would be a form of sex he would want again and again—for Harry to be his obedient little slut and let Draco fuck him in the face.

God! What was wrong with him! He'd never had thoughts like this before. But honestly, he sort of liked it. Harry seemed to have taken the dominate role in their relationship so anytime Draco got to reverse it, it felt amazing

Harry's eyelids slid closed a few times, his brow wrinkling a bit in what was either discomfort or pleasure. Draco couldn't tell which. But from the low moans and whimpers that continued to escape Harry's throat, Draco figured it was the latter. Harry's knelt, totally accepting of Draco's cock, opening his mouth wide and relaxing his throat, letting his tongue flick around and pleasure as much of Draco's stiff organ as he could. It was beautiful just to watch Harry's face. His dazzlingly bright green eyes fluttering open and silently begging Draco to thrust harder. His lips dark pink and swollen and tender, his burning blush building up high on his cheekbones. Harry was a fucking visual orgasm.

Draco pulled out almost all the way letting Harry suck on the head a little before he thrust back in. He wondered how long Harry could hold his breath as he kept his cock buried in the tight, gently convulsing throat. He didn't keep it there long though, not wanting to suffocate his lover. Draco pulled away again, quickly stroking his wet cock as he tried to get control of himself. It was starting to feel too good. In the few seconds he left Harry's mouth unoccupied, the Gryffindor whispered something. Draco was about to ask what it was until he felt his entrance dripping with warm oil. Draco was still amazed that of all the spells in the world to learn wandlessly, the only two Harry had mastered were the summoning spell and the lubrication charm. He was amazed, but not ungrateful.

Draco let his head fall back and moaned at the feeling or Harry pressing two fingers inside of him. Draco clenched his muscles a little, sucking on the fingers, wanting them deeper.

But in the mean time he didn't forget about Harry's waiting mouth, he tapped the head of his cock against the rough surface of Harry's tongue before simply allowing the Gryffindor to suck on him. Harry's lips were very wet and the saliva was beginning to drip down his chin. But honestly Draco wasn't much concerned about it. Harry's mouth felt too fucking good or him to worry about a little mess.

He started thrusting again slowly but stopped when he saw the instant look of pain on Harry's face. Had he been too rough? Probably. Feeling a bit of guilt, Draco stilled his hips and simply let Harry take over from there. The boy didn't let him down. With two fingers still thrusting steadily in and out of Draco's slackened hole, Harry began to suck with abandon at Draco's cock, using his other hand for the few inches at the base that his mouth couldn't reach. It felt so good that Draco was moaning constantly, unable to stop himself.

Harry's mouth backed away for a moment and Draco was about to protest until he heard what Harry had to say. While still pumping Draco's erection eagerly in his hand, Harry said, "You're gonna come soon aren't you?" the deep rasp of his voice from having a cock shoved repeatedly down his throat was so sexy all Draco could do was moan again in response. Harry smiled, "I want you to look at me when you do." He whispered leaning forward to lay a few wet kisses on the leaking head, "I want you to watch as your come spurts out all over my tongue. I want you to see how much I want it. How much I fucking _love_ your come, Draco. I want you to watch as I taste it."

Draco swallowed hard with visible effort and continued letting out soft pleasured noises, unable to form actually coherent words. Harry knew how Draco absolutely melted when he spoke like that, and this time was no , he was gonna fucking come. Harry was already smiling and sucking his cock back into his wet mouth. His tongue swirling around and around, rubbing every sensitive spot Draco had with precision. Draco's legs were trembling quite hard and he was afraid he might not be able to stay standing much longer.

But Harry's eyes flashed up to his as if daring him to so much as think about moving. So Draco stayed put, even with all of his muscles slowly turning to mush. But Harry looked happy, he had Draco's cock in his mouth, and that's all it took to please him. Draco shouted rather loudly when Harry's two fingers curled and pressed firmly against his prostate.

"C-Coming…" Draco managed to whisper.

Harry's mouth disappeared for moment and Draco opened his eyes to see the Gryffindor staring right at him. His mouth was open wide his tongue undulating, beckoning Draco's seed forward. His hands continued to work only for pleasure, those two damned fingers rubbing insistently at his prostate and his fist pumping Draco so quickly his fingers seemed to blur together.

Harry was smiling a little as he tried to keep the head of Draco's swollen cock against his tongue even while he stroked him with such rapid, almost violent strokes.

"Keep your eyes open." Harry commanded and Draco knew he wouldn't—_couldn't_ disobey. He stared down into Harry's face knowing that every part of his body, his heart, his mind, his soul belonged to the man kneeling before him.

"Oh… Harry… Harry! fuck!" Draco bit out, struggling to maintain eye contact when really, his eyes wanted to roll to the back of his head as the pleasure became too much for his senses to handle.

He moaned long and low as he came, his hot, thick seed painting stripes of white across Harry's tongue and filling his mouth. Draco was a little shocked to see the half sneer curling Harry's upper lip, his brow crinkling together in his unmistakable 'come face'. Was tasting Draco as good as an orgasm for him? It was so fucking hot to watch as Harry's eyes seemed to glaze over in sheer ecstasy while his tongue moved to lick softly at Draco's cockhead, silently begging for every last drop.

When he was finished, Draco's chest felt so tight he couldn't breathe. And he only stared down at Harry, watching as the boy finally closed his mouth and eyes, moaning as he apparently savored the taste.

Draco was still trying to gain his thought processes back when finally Harry stood. Draco smiled and pulled Harry towards him for a kiss. It was warm and wet and tasted like come, but Draco didn't mind. Harry didn't seem to keen on kissing him with energy. His jaw and tongue must've been tired.

"Your turn." Draco whispered as he reached down looking for Harry erection.

Harry smiled bashfully, his burning blush growing darker, "Too late."

Xx-XxX-xX

A/N: Whoa, my pervy blowjob muse went a little psycho towards the end there. Hope none of you minded too much. I just personally want to thank everyone who has reviewed thus far. You guys are like serious motivation for me to keep writing.

But omg, we're almost at the end! I'm sorta excited and sorta sad… But lets just see how it all turns out.

Thanks always for reading. ^_^


	38. Chapter 38

-Note From Shinosuke-

Firstly, I'm feeling a little self conscious about this chapter. Did I rush through it at all? So please remember to R&R.

Secondly, this is just my own personal mini rant that you don't have to read. But seriously, yesterday, out of boredom and lack of inspiration, I was looking around for some good fanfics. I found a few that I genuinely liked. And few that I couldn't even finish. But one thing held true in many different stories I read.

That the seme would get impatient and take the uke with out "preparation". As soon as I read a line like that, I literally cringe and have to look away. This may come as a surprise to some of you who have only ever _read_ about gay shmex, but it really _can_ be painful if you're not careful. And NEVER under any circumstances should anyone, ever try to have sex without preparation. Seriously, if you do, get ready for a visit to the Emergency Room cuz that's exactly where you're going.

Even the seediest of whores need, lube. There is NO such thing as too much lube. You could be doing it in an ocean of lube and still say, "You know a few more gallons wouldn't hurt."

I mean honestly people. I think some girls think it's "hot" or something. Or that it shows urgency. But the only thing that registers in my mind when I read something like that is PAIN! I just cringe and wanna run away and hide in a closet before an evil seme finds me.

So, just figured I'd get that out there to the few uninformed fangirls out there.

Also, wow, you guys have been AMAZING with the reviews. Like seriously, you guys are all going on my Christmas card list. Or… whatever holiday that allows me to send random junk as a thank you. Well, you get the picture. I luv ju all!

And now for your chapter.

Xx-XxX-xX

Chapter 38

Draco nearly laughed out loud, but held it in fearing he might hurt the boy's pride, "You came, just to sucking me off?"

"Shut up." Harry muttered, "You have no idea how fucking hot you get sometimes. And I was really turned on... so…"

Draco smiled and kissed the boy sweetly once more, "Don't worry about it. May I remind you that when you speak snake I nearly cream my pants every time?"

Harry laughed remembering, his arms slithering around Draco's waist and holding him tight, "That is true. I guess I don't feel so bad now."

Draco nodded and yawned tiredly as he clung to Harry. He hadn't been sleeping very well in Gryffindor tower. He wanted to sleep in the tower room, or maybe in his own bed. But either way Harry's bed just wasn't for him. Too red.

They held each other a while longer, just coming down from their high. Draco was feeling quite comfortable with his head against Harry's warm bare chest. He'd never seen anyone with a more perfect body than Harry. Harry's muscles were tight and lean and perfect, he wasn't as thin as Draco but he certainly wasn't bulky. He was perfect in every sense of the word. Every time he moved Draco could see the lines and ripples and shadows of his defined body. It was breathtakingly gorgeous on some days, and unbearably arousing on others. His skin was a dream. It was soft and smooth and nearly unblemished. Draco had found a few freckles here and there, and an old scar or two, but he didn't consider them imperfections. He thought of them more as… decoration.

Draco smiled a little and held Harry a little tighter.

Xx-xX

Harry sighed in annoyance as Draco nuzzled closer. Not that he didn't want to be close to the blond, but he wanted to really _feel_ him, like he hadn't in a while.

"Take your shirt off." Harry whispered, his hands already reaching in between their chests beginning to work at the buttons. Draco immediately moved away and grabbed Harry's hands to stop them.

"I'm cold." He said and Harry could already see the usually sparkling colors of Draco's eye begin to dim a bit.

Frowning, Harry continued to try and remove the shirt, "I'll warm you up. I wanna feel your skin against mine, Draco." Harry whispered the last words hoping the blond would understand.

"I really don't want to." Draco answered, this time successfully halted Harry's fingers from undoing anymore of the buttons on his shirt.

Harry's frown deepened even further as he tried to figure out why Draco seemed so self conscious recently, "Why not? He questioned

Draco's eyes darted away for a moment as he seemed to think of a way to answer. When he looked back Harry could see the honesty written on his face, "I'm embarrassed, okay?" he whispered.

Harry sighed glad it wasn't something awful or unfixable, "Embarrassed about what, love? You know you don't have to hide anything from me." Harry said lightly caressing Draco's soft cheek.

Draco looked down and away and Harry bent a little trying to catch his eyes.

"I… may have put on a little weight, that's all." Draco murmured so low Harry had to struggle to decipher the words.

Once he did though, he laughed out loud at the absurdity of the claim. Draco? Fat? Im-fucking-possible. Draco was only skin and muscle. There wasn't an ounce of anything squishy on the boy anywhere. Except for maybe his ass, but that was only a plus.

"It's not fucking funny." Draco responded but his voice didn't sound as angry as it should have.

"Draco are you kidding? Where is this supposed weight gain? All I've ever seen you eat is cake and brownies and ice cream and yet you seem to have trouble keeping weigh _on_."

Draco lifted his shirt a little and had to make a few attempts to be able to squeeze about a half inch of skin just beneath his bellybutton between his forefingers and thumbs, "See?" he asked looking up at Harry.

At seeing the lack of humor on Draco's face, Harry let his laughter die away, "You've got be fucking kidding me, Draco."

Draco looked away and sighed heavily. Harry's brow furrowed as he thought, "You don't have like… an eating disorder or something, do you?"

"No!" Draco shouted looking angry at the claim, "You just said yourself all I ever eat is dessert, and _tons_ of it too. But you're right… I can't ever gain anything…" Draco finished, looking away as though ashamed.

"Wait a minute. So let me get this straight." Harry started not caring about the skepticism on his voice, "First you're too fat and now you're too skinny?"

"No. I just… Just trust me." Draco replied, staring Harry full in the face.

And there it was. The look in Draco's that instantly set of warning bells in Harry's head. Harry sighed heavily and backed away from Draco, unwilling to keep any bodily contact with the boy anymore. Why did Draco always have to lie to him? What could be so terrible that he had to hide it? Harry'd told him a thousand times that nothing would ever make Harry love him any less. Why didn't Draco believe him?

"You're lying to me again, Draco." Harry whispered, the words hurting him as much as they probably hurt Draco.

Draco groaned in growing frustration, "I know! I know I'm lying. But just drop it. Please."

"What could possibly be so bad that you could lie to my face like that?" Harry shot back feeling the first swells of his anger.

"I said drop it, Harry. And I meant it." Draco replied, his voice sounding as cold as winter.

Feeling more than a little betrayed, Harry grabbed his discarded robes and began putting them on again, "Fine." he spat angrily, "But don't bother talking to me until you can be honest."

"I can never be honest with you." Draco replied, but he didn't sound angry. He sounded regretful, depressed even.

Harry sighed and let his hands dropped after he finished tightening his tie again. He was trying really hard to be understanding. He didn't want to judge Draco. But he couldn't stand the dishonesty anymore. Harry almost _never_ lied. Not in his entire life. Sure when McGonagall asked how his Transfigurations essay was going he might say it was good even when he hadn't started it. But he never lied to his friends. Not without great purpose, anyway. And he just couldn't imagine what Draco would want to keep from him.

"Draco…" Harry started already letting his angry wane away, "I'm trying. I'm trying so hard to stay calm and loving even when you're being a total dick. You lie to me everyday and you refuse to acknowledge that you love me. I don't even know what you want from me anymore. But I still love you… so much. And so I'm _trying_. Please at least give me the same courtesy."

"I know I'm being awful, Harry." Draco whispered, "Just don't question me anymore. So then I won't have to lie."

"So you want me to just ignore it when I see you like this? When you're too uncomfortable around me to take you damn shirt off? When you're eyes get all hazy and you can't look at my face? When you're _hurting, _you just want me to ignore it and pretend it isn't there?"

Draco shrugged, "Works for me."

Harry shook his head in utter disbelief before he muttered, "I'll see you later." And left.

Xx-XxX-xX

Harry sighed, "I just don't know how to talk to him anymore. He doesn't listen to me. He seems far away, like there's a glass wall between us or something. I can make it go down sometimes. Like when we have sex. Then I feel really close to him. But as soon as it's over he's got this thick shield up again.

Harry ran one of his hands through his hair, "I don't know how to get him to open up to me anymore. And I feel like I'm running out of time. He said I can't save him… But I know he's just being stubborn. Inside, he's begging for someone to take him away from this mess. And God, I would! I'd do anything for him. But he just won't let me. So what should I do?" Harry asked not expecting an answer.

Ginny lay as unresponsive as ever as he vented to her. She was the only person it was safe to vent to at this moment. The hospital wing was dark and it was long after visiting hours, but Harry had managed to convince Madame Pomfrey that he was here only to examine her symptoms first hand so that he might be able to find a cure faster. Of course, just as the medi-witch claimed, there were no symptoms to be examined. Ginny's heart was beating, her skin was warm, her body was alive, but she was dead to the world and everything in it.

"Don't you worry about anything while you rest, Ginny." Harry whispered as he held her limp hand, "I promised I'd find you a cure and I swear I'll make sure the fucker who did this gets as much punishment as possible. But don't give up on us out here. I know it must be tons easier, to rest instead of having to fight everyday. But please come back to us soon. I'll find a way…" Harry continued before lightly running his hand through her bright hair.

She not a single muscle in her body moved in response to his touch. Harry sighed half wishing Ginny could hear him, and half wishing she hadn't heard all the stuff he'd just said about Draco.

Harry stood with a heavy sigh before offering Ginny's peaceful face a warm smile. He bent and lightly kissed her forehead, "Get better." He whispered against her soft, sweet skin before turning and leaving with too many things on his mind to count.

Xx-XxX-xX

Three days passed before Draco so much as glanced in his direction. But when he did, Harry could see that Draco did intend to talk to him. He wondered if he should allow him to. Or maybe he should make the blond wait a little longer as punishment.

But of course, when the time came and Draco stood from his lunch much earlier than anyone else, pointedly eyeing Harry as he slipped through the doors, Harry knew he wouldn't be able to resist. He waited a little longer so that no one would see the correlation between their leaving lunch early. But from the look on Hermione's face, he figured she knew.

She wouldn't follow him though. They both remembered clearly what she'd gotten an eyeful of the last time she did. Shuddering as he remembered Harry stood and left the Great Hall claiming he had to go to the bathroom.

He followed Draco to moaning Myrtle's bathroom. He hadn't been in here in so long. His eyes gravitated to the sink with the snake on the faucet and he remembered what was beneath their feet at this very moment. They didn't speak for a second, each of them checking for any sign of the dead school girl. At seeing she was probably off disturbing someone else, their eyes finally met.

Draco didn't look away. Harry smiled a little, glad to see that Draco no longer seemed so guarded.

"So you finally wanna talk to me, huh?" Harry asked taking a few steps towards the boy.

Draco rolled his eyes, "I've wanted to talk to you every day. But I doubt you would've listened. I was giving you time to cool off."

Harry blinked once before shrugging, "Thanks I guess."

"Yeah well I'm a little upset at you right now." Draco said folding his arms across his chest, "That's three whole days down the drain."

"Spending time with you when you're not yourself is worse than not spending time with you at all." Harry countered quickly.

Draco frowned, but at least looked a little remorseful, "I suppose." He muttered.

Harry sighed, sick to death of all the drama and fighting. He quickly closed the distance between the two of them. He felt twinges of emotion from looking into Draco's endless eyes. But he could tell the blond wasn't trying to hide anything from him, and that was assuring enough.

"I'm sick of all this, Draco." Harry whispered, voicing his thoughts, "Why can't we just be happy like we were?"

Draco smiled a little before sighing heavily, "You know the answer to that question. But you're right, that I've been sort of acting like an ass."

"_Sort of_." Harry challenged with a smirk.

"Hey, don't push it." Draco replied his smile growing.

Harry wrapped his arms around his lover and was more than ecstatic when Draco hugged him back.

"Mmm…" Harry sighed contentedly, "I want you in the tower room as soon as possible. We haven't been there in _far_ too long."

Draco immediately nodded, "You read my mind. But first Harry, there's something I need you to do. I think it'll help us both."

Harry kissed Draco's cheek softly, "Anything."

"You'll be upset when I tell you…" Draco muttered, "Just fair warning."

Harry tensed a bit at this, knowing Draco wasn't one to give false warnings. He didn't pull away though, instead he hugged the boy tighter, trying to brace himself for whatever it is Draco would ask of him.

"Harry," Draco started his voice sounding as smooth as silk in his ear, "I want you to obliviate your friends."

Harry, not expecting that immediately pulled out of the hug to examine Draco's face. Draco looked at him with nothing but concern and sincerity. And even though Harry thought what was asking was totally absurd, he had to respect the boy for at least trying to stay open.

"Why?" Harry asked breathlessly, trying to contain his outrage.

"This is dangerous for all of us Harry. You and I chose this so if… ever a time comes where have to pay for it then… well then I guess we just will. But your friends don't deserve to be tortured for this." Draco continued.

"But they won't be. I'll protect them. Voldemort will never even get a chance to lay his hands on them, I swear." Harry argued.

"You can't protect everyone at the same time. It's easier and safer this way for both of us. I promise."

At hearing Draco promise, Harry only closed his eyes and shuffled back a few inches. Somehow, he felt that Draco was right. Already he had issues with Ron and Hermione knowing too much. A few times he even had to stop them from outright sharing the information in front of more people. And he knew they'd told Ginny, without even asking him if it was alright to inform her. It wouldn't be pleasant at all, but in his heart he knew it was for the best that this relationship stay completely secret until Harry could figure out a way to end the war for good.

"Alright." He muttered, "I'll do it."

Draco seemed a little shocked, "Really? That's all the convincing it took? I was expecting at the very least a ten minute argument over this."

Harry shook his head, "You're right that it's safer. The less people that know the better. But I'm not going to try and obliviate Ginny. First of all, I don't know what it would do to her considering the state she's in. And second, Madame Pomfrey would literally _kill_ me if she so much as saw me point my wand in Ginny's direction."

Draco nodded in understanding, "I'm fine with that. She's not such a bad girl, Ginny."

Harry put his hand to the blonde's forehead, "Are you feeling alright?" he asked with genuine worry.

Draco laughed and pushed Harry's hand away, "Yeah, I'm fine. I hated her only cuz she was interested in you."

"Right." Harry said skeptically, "Which is why you called her 'weaselette' for years before you or I even liked each other."

Draco shrugged, "I was an asshole. I still can be on occasion."

"So I've seen." Harry agreed with very little humor in his tone.

Draco, unfazed by Harry's comment, leaned down and pressed a fleeting kiss against his lips. Harry swore Draco's lips were magical. How could they be so damn soft all the time? And completely irresistible, so that even when he was angry beyond reason, a single kiss from Draco could begin to quell the fires.

"But don't worry," Draco whispered, "I'll be good from now on. And I'll meet you in the tower room as soon as I can."

"Tonight." Harry said feeling his lover's warmth and love and magic floating in the air.

"No…_Tomorrrow_." Draco purred melting Harry's heart.

Harry's lips twisted into a pout, "Why not tonight?"

Draco's face stayed totally expressionless as he whispered, "You've got your friends to take care of tonight. And I've been meaning to talk to Snape about something anyway."

"Oh…" Harry replied dejectedly.

Draco reached out and gently lifted his chin with soft pale fingers, "Hey, don't be upset. I promise I'll make tomorrow worth the wait."

Harry half forced his smile and nodded, "Yeah. Umm I'd better get back to lunch. I've been gone for a pretty long time."

Draco nodded, giving Harry one last kiss, "I…" Draco took a deep breath, "I'll see you tomorrow."

Xx-XxX-xX

"I've got the greatest news!" Harry whispered with barely concealed enthusiasm as he dragged his friends off to a deserted corner of the already nearly empty library.

"What is it, Harry?" Hermione asked as she tried to tug her wrist out of his strong hand to no avail.

When they were tucked away in the corner with no one else in sight Harry finally whispered lowly to them, "I think I found a cure for Ginny."

"What?" Ron nearly shouted, "And you had to drag us over here to tell us that? Hurry, hurry, what's the cure!"

"Well," Harry started, careful to keep his voice sounding excited and knowing, "You know how I'm dating Draco Malfoy?"

Ron and Hermione glanced at each other for a second, obviously confused about what that had to do with anything. Before they could even respond Harry raised his wand and obliviated them both, watching as their faces went totally blank.

"Woah…" Ron said reaching out to the bookshelf beside him to steady himself, "What were we talking about."

It took all the effort in Harry's body for him to force the smile to his lips, "Nothing."

Xx-XxX-xX

Alright, thanks for reading. I got TONS of reviews last week and I just wanted to say thanks to everybody. You guys really motivate me.

So tell me what you think of this chap in a review. And sorry for ranting at you all in the beginning. XD I couldn't help it.

I don't know why I've got such long notes for the beginning and end today. Oh well. I guess I'm just feeling talkative?

Review please!


	39. Chapter 39

Chapter 39

Harry froze as he walked towards D.A.D.A class in the late afternoon. He suddenly remembered that they had a test today, and he hadn't studied at all last night. He'd been up half the night looking through more library books for obscure potions and then afterwards, could hardly sleep without Draco by his side.

Panicking at the thought of facing Snape's class totally unprepared, Harry pulled open his book bag and began to search for his textbook for a quick cram studying session. Instead he felt his hand bump against something smooth and slightly warm. Curious about what it could be, he grabbed hold of it and pulled it out, freeing it from the mess that was his bag.

He stared at the glittering golden potion a few thoughts running through his head. Would anyone know that he'd taken it? He knew he wasn't supposed to take it for any sorts of tests or athletic events but really, he wasn't taking it for Snape's test in _particular_. He just wanted to be lucky today in general. That's right, he'd completely forgotten about the test when he drank the potion.

Smiling Harry uncorked the vial and put it to his lips, drinking down about half of the golden liquid. Surprisingly, unlike most potions, it didn't taste repulsive. Harry smiled and closed the vial again, placing it back in his bag before heading off to class feeling as light as feather and totally invincible.

Xx-XxX-xX

As soon as the class was over, Harry near sprinted from the room. He felt extremely confident about his test and not the slightest bit worried about what his grade would turn out to be. He had the strangest desire to go to the library. He just knew he'd find something useful there. Without even bothering to inform anyone of where he was headed, Harry took off, reaching the library in record speed and quickly sitting at a back table.

Instead of beginning to search the shelves for book written about cure and poisons, Harry simply pulled his potions book out of his bag and began studying it ardently, not sure exactly what he was looking for.

At the top of page 248 he found the words, "Sectumsempra: For enemies." Harry eyed the words for a moment, taking the time to memorize them for future use before he continued to look through the book. He found lots more hastily scrawled spells, most of them being listed as for enemies. But towards the end of the book he found the words, "For James, back cover."

Harry's eyebrow rose in curiosity before he quickly flipped to the very back of the book. But there was nothing there. Feeling at first a little defeated, he slumped back into his chair. Then he noticed, the top corner of the lining inside the back cover was a little crinkled up. On a whim, Harry started fidgeting with the loose bit of paper as he tried to think.

He was more than a little surprised when the paper simply gave and pulled up. And he was all but breathless when he saw the full page of writing there. But unfortunately, if it was anything intelligible, it was not a language he knew. He stared at it a little longer, trying almost to will his brain into recognizing the unfamiliar symbols.

Distantly, he thought he might have seen a few of them before. But instead of instantly going to Hermione or checking the library for strange languages, Harry simply started flipping through his book again looking for some unknown secret. As he flipped almost absently through the pages, he stopped at the page detailing the Draught of Living Death. He smiled a little as he remembered how proud he'd been the day he won his Felix Felicis. As his eyes skimmed the page he notices an odd squiggle just beneath the capitol D of the title. He examined it closer and ran his finger over it. His brow furrowed a little before he flipped the page. The next page listed the Blood-Replenishing potion. Harry's eyes zeroed in beneath the capitol B of the title and found another strange symbol. It hit him almost instantly that it was a code. Feeling almost overwhelmed by how quickly all of this was coming to him, Harry pulled out a piece of parchment and a quill and began making a key for the code the page hidden in the back cover.

After slowly uncovering the code, letter by letter, he set in on deciphering the page in the back.

After a while, Harry sat back in his seat staring at the coded page and key he'd made beside it, mentally checking to see if he was reading the thing correctly.

_The Nightmare Elixir?_

Harry was quick about un-coding the rest of the potion, quickly reading it as he wrote it down on a clean piece of parchment.

_Renders it's drinker in a physical state of suspended animation, while their mind travels back and forth between nightmares and the waking world. Though even when aware of the world around them, their bodies remain totally unresponsive indefinitely. _

At reading that, Harry didn't bother with figuring out the rest of the potion. He suddenly knew he had to see Ginny. He hastily stuffed all of his things back in his bag before heading out of the library and nearly sprinting down the hall. He wasn't sure what was so urgent, but he felt he had to speak to Ginny _now_. At this very instant.

He barged his way into the hospital wing, making quite a lot of noise in his arrival. He almost thought Madame Pomfrey would immediately stop and question him but, _luckily,_ she'd apparently stepped out for a few minutes. Harry ran up to Ginny's side and gently brushed her hair back from her face.

"Ginny," Harry spoke the words seeming to come from some deep place inside him, "I know you can hear me. And I need you to listen. I think I found the potion that did this to you, and from there, I might be able to get an antidote. But you _can't_ give up, Ginny. I know you must be going insane in there. But we're all trying to get you back. I won't lose you to this."

The girls face remained blank, everything about her, frail and limp.

"Hey Ginny, can you control your breathing at all?" Harry asked perking up as he thought this might be a way of communicating with the younger girl.

He put his hand by her nose and felt her steady breath, "If you can control your breathing, Ginny, hold it right now." He said firmly.

He waited a few minutes, and only once registered a slight pause in her normally steady breathing pattern; but it was too little for him to be sure off. It could just be coincidence.

Harry sighed, "I guess you don't have much control over it. But don't worry anyway, I'll get you out of this. But right now I have to go."

He didn't know why, but he suddenly knew he had to get out of the hospital wing. He assumed it was because Madame Pomfrey would soon be back. He bent and pressed a quick kiss to Ginny's check before he turned and left.

He ran down the first few corridors and one flight of steps before suddenly had the urge to walk very, very slowly. Instantly succumbing to his gut feeling, he snuck down the next hall as carefully as he could and eventually he began to hear voices.

"—In her potions class only a little while before she was found." Harry heard Professor McGonagall's voice from around the corner, "Collin claims he only remembers making the assigned potion that day but Madame Pomfrey did a scan for unforgiveables and he was recently under the Imperious. This is getting very serious, Albus. I think we should start warning the parents and—"

"No, Minerva. By inciting fear into the students, we are only giving the culprit power and reputation. Of course make sure to interrogate Mr. Creevy further. He may have had a hand in making the potion, but it's quite obvious it was not of his own accord. We need to find the person behind this is as quickly and efficiently as possible."

Professor McGonagall sighed heavily, "You're sure keeping this a secret is wise?"

"There are no good options in this situation." Dumbledore replied sounding grave, "But of the two, yes, it is better that this remains between us."

Harry backed away slowly letting the whispered conversation he'd just heard fill his mind. As soon as he felt it was safe to run again without being heard, he did. He wasn't sure what to think at all. Collin Creevy had been under Imperious to help put Ginny in the nightmare trance she was in? No doubt, if the blond boy ever found out that he had truly had a hand in Ginny's poisoning, he'd be absolutely consumed by guilt. Harry was starting to dislike this poisoner. even more if that was possible. Not even enough guts to do the deed themselves, huh? Had use an innocent boy to do their bidding against his will.

Harry wasn't sure why he was running anymore, but it was in a way soothing his anger before it could get out of control. The steady thump of his bag against his side, his deep, satisfying breaths dragging in and out his lungs, his trained muscles obeying him exactly; running was a simplistic joy that calmed his mind of all unwanted thoughts.

But as he turned a corner he bumped right into a girl he really had never wanted to see again: Cho Chang. He blinked a few times before he realized it really was her. Frowning at having to face his awful ex-girlfriend Harry muttered a hurried apology and went to walk past her and her omnipresent posse of snooty friends.

"Wait! Harry, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about." She said grabbing his arm to still him.

Harry sighed, his heart rate finally cooling, his brain activity settling down to normal levels, instead of the almost speed-like high he'd been experiencing not moments before.

"Well there have been some rumors, I'm sure you've heard them." She started doing that weird flickery eyelash flirty thing she always did when trying to get Harry flustered. Unfortunately, her eyes were muddy brown and not attractive to him at all. Harry could only ever love the silvery blue eyes that stopped his heart every time they so much as glanced in his direction.

Harry was sort of spacing out as she continued to speak, but out of some miracle managed to register her words.

"—Heard that you're…_you know_." She said the last to words as though they were dirty, "And I can't help but think this is somehow my fault. I know that I was rather cruel to you before, Harry… And I'd like to make it up to you, if you wouldn't mind." The girl finished with a carefully practiced, hesitant smile.

Harry was a little surprised that Cho would bring this up now. And he almost wanted to believe that she really was doing it, just to be nice to him. But he remembered what Hermione had told him about the way Cho had laughed and mocked him behind his back to all of her girl friends.

Feeling revenge on the horizon, Harry smiled at her, "Don't worry about it Cho, it really wasn't your fault. I've always been interested in boys. That's why I wanted to date you."

"Huh?" She asked obviously confused before she nodded a little, "Oh! You were trying to throw everyone off."

"Nope." Harry replied still smiling warmly, "It's just that you're really flat-chested and from the looks of you, I thought you could've been hiding a dick somewhere."

The utter shock that transformed the girl's face was so satisfying, Harry had trouble maintaining his laughter, "But honestly," He continued, "Though at the time I was really desperate, even you were… how should I put it? Unbearable."

Her friends stood silent, looking back and forth at each other before the whispers began. A few more people had stopped in the hall to watch the exchange and Harry could see Cho's cheeks begin to redden in embarrassment.

But her embarrassment soon gave way to anger as she responded, "You are a dimwitted _faggot_. I _never_ liked you. I was taking pity on you."

"And you," Harry was quick to reply, "Are a frigid, evil, ugly bitch and a _terrible_ kisser." He said before simply pushing past her and not bothering to look back.

Now he truly felt lighter than air, he'd been meaning to get that off his chest for a long, _long_ time. He hadn't even realized it was still bugging him in the back of his mind until now. He could hardly imagine this day getting any better.

Xx-XxX-xX

Harry walked into the tower room a few minutes earlier than he and Draco had agreed on, but wasn't surprised to see that the blond was already there. Harry smiled and walked towards him, feeling as the last dregs of the potion he'd drank earlier that afternoon slowly seeped out of his system.

"Hey." Draco whispered, sitting on the window seat, staring out at the big silvery moon.

Harry let out a long breath as seeing Draco's moonlit, breathtakingly stunning face once more. There was just something about this place…

"Hey, yourself." Harry smiled as he walked across the room to Draco's side. He knelt and kissed the boy softly on the cheek, "You cannot imagine the day I've had."

Draco smiled a little as he looked at Harry, "From the look on your face I'm guessing it was good?" he asked scooting over to allow Harry some room.

Harry sat down beside the boy and snuggled close enjoying how warm and fragrant Draco's skin was, "Mmm… very good. I drank some of my Felix Felicis."

Draco turned to him now obviously very interested, "Really? What happened?"

Harry wanted to tell Draco everything, but something stopped him. For some odd reason he felt it'd be better to tell Draco about the Nightmare Elixir and what had happened to Collin Creevy another time. It was a rather uncomfortable feeling. He was used to telling the blond everything. But considering the way his gut instinct had helped him countless times today, he decided it was better he trusted it.

"Well I aced my test in Defense Against the Dark Arts. When I went to visit Ginny this afternoon Madame Pomfrey was gone so I didn't get in trouble, I ran into Cho Chang and _totally_ told her off for the bitch she'd always been to me, Professor McGonagall didn't assign even a tiny bit of homework, and they served all my favorites at dinner. Overall, an amazing day."

Draco laughed and kissed Harry firmly on the lips, "God, you're cute." He whispered.

Harry shoved the guilt in his stomach way down deep until he could hardly feel it anymore. He kissed Draco back a few times, enjoying his supple lips, pulling his bottom lips between his own, drawing a surprised moan from Draco's throat. When he pulled away, Harry smiled at him.

"You know…" He whispered eyeing Draco with obvious intent, "I'm still feeling quite lucky."

Draco smiled back before he bent to start kissing Harry's neck, "Is that so?" he whispered softly, the low vibrations of his voice tingling against Harry's sensitive skin, "I suppose it's quite lucky for you that I've been nearly panting for that cock of yours _all fucking day_."

Harry bit back a groan before he softly pulled away. When Draco's eyes met his he could see, almost _feel_, that Draco wasn't lying. Draco wanted him. Swallowing at the sight of Draco's lust-filled gaze, Harry pulled a few of the cushions out from beneath them and threw them towards the center of the room before pulling out his wand to transfigure them.

"Not a four poster." Draco whispered leaning to kiss along Harry's jaw line, "I like looking up at the ceiling here…"

Harry paused a moment to look upwards as well, finding he knew exactly what Draco was talking about. When the moon was full and very bright, like tonight, the little bits of dust floating in the air looked like silver fairy dust or something. The rafters crisscrossed all the way up the pointy roof, as the fairy dust slowly fell and Harry had to admit, it was a nice sight.

He smiled before transfiguring a rather normal bed out of the cushions. Draco smiled at Harry when he saw it before standing and stepping over Harry to go towards it. He paused a moment and looked back over his shoulder at the Gryffindor.

"You coming?" he whispered, his eyes smoldering like silver-blue flames behind his thick lashes.

Harry stood quickly, not willing to be apart from Draco for even another millisecond. He stood behind the blond, both of them at first only looking at each other, almost challenging the other to make the first move. After a few more seconds Harry leaned forward and caught Draco's lips in a deep kiss, feeling the boy's hot, wet muscle slide against his own. He slid the boy's robes off of his shoulders slowly, letting the dark fabric fall to the floor heavily. He could feel Draco's defined shoulders beneath the thin white fabric of his shirt, could feel the heat of his skin, and could imagine the muscles undulating beneath his pale skin. He'd been denied seeing his Draco for _so_ long. He wanted it bad. His arms wrapped around Draco's chest, loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt. And to Harry's surprise, Draco didn't stop him. Feeling encouraged he finished with the buttons before unknotting the silver and green tie, pulling it off slowly.

"Mmm…" Draco moaned quietly as Harry gently massaged his shoulders, "I just had the most amazing idea." He whispered.

"Yeah?" Harry asked still alternating between kissing Draco's lips and neck, "What is it?"

Draco turned around to face Harry, a mischievous grin spread wide across his face. Harry paled a little, feeling his heart rate increase even further. He knew that look, and it promised more pleasure than Harry's body could handle. Draco shoved Harry down onto the bed, his grin growing a little wider.

He began pulling off Harry's clothes, not exactly gently, but certainly not roughly. All the while, his grin never ceasing, his eyes twinkling with lust and obvious naughty thoughts. Harry allowed all of this, not sure when Draco would decide to show him exactly what his plan was. When he was divested off all his clothing except his boxers, Draco stood straight again and removed his own pants before bending down to pick something up. He smiled at Harry, holding up his green and silver stripped tie.

Harry first through was being tied down again, and he had to admit, that was a rather pleasing idea. But instead Draco crawled over his body and pulled up his head, fastening the tie around his eyes.

"Draco." Harry whined as the world went dark, "I want to see you."

He heard Draco casting a few spells and a little tingling around his blindfold. Curious, Harry reached up to shove it off so he could see what Draco was doing. But the blindfold wouldn't so much as budge and inch. It was stuck rather firmly around his eyes and his hands could not move it aside. Cursing in frustration, Harry's hands moved to the knot and tried to work it loose, but it simply wouldn't obey his fingers.

Harry was nearly shocked out his skin when Draco's voice whispered right in his ear, "Don't worry, you'll enjoy this."

He hadn't known Draco was so close to him. Pouting a little at being sightless, Harry refused to respond. He felt the bed dip as Draco apparently got off of it.

He jolted in surprise when Draco's hand ran down his chest from the opposite side. Had Draco moved all the way around the bed that quickly? Not only that, but the feeling seemed to sink deep into his skin, setting his nerves alight. With his eyesight gone his body was focusing mostly on sound and touch to take in the world around him. And honestly, it did amplify the pleasure a bit. Okay… Maybe a little _more_ than a bit.

He heard Draco's warm laugh and it seemingly came from everywhere, "You're enjoying this Harry, don't tell me you're not. One look at your cock and anyone with eyes could see how much you like this."

"Shut up, Draco." Harry whispered, not quite ready to admit that Draco was right.

He felt the blond's body crawl over his, Draco was straddling his lap and he thrust upward a little trying to feel more of him. Draco's cool hand pressed down on his chest for a moment to keep him still before the Slytherin simply lay his own body flat against Harry's.

Harry wanted to almost moan at feeling Draco's bare chest against his. He could feel Draco's warm pulse and the muscles beneath his delicate and silky smooth skin. His arms wrapped around his lover and he really did moan at feeling his bare back. His hands worked slowly up and down, gently massaging Draco's shoulder blades all the way down to the hem of the boxers he'd yet to remove. Harry let his fingers slip past the elastic waistband, and Draco didn't stop him. He could feel the blond's breath against his ear and was more than happy with the small gasp as his hands squeezed Draco's firm ass in his hands. God he wanted to be inside there…

Draco leaned up and kissed Harry's lips a few times before his mouth began traveling downwards. His tongue laving over Harry's heated skin, his lips and teeth suckling and biting at Harry's light tan nipples until they hardened. Harry moaned and arched his back upwards into the feeling. It had never felt so intense before. His mind had nothing else to concentrate on. He was consumed by the feeling of everything. When Draco's hands slowly slipped his boxers off, he felt the fabric slip past every fine hair on his legs, felt Draco's finger tips pressing lightly against his skin. And it felt good.

He heard a little more shuffling and the next thing he knew there was hard, fiery flesh pressing against his thigh. He bucked upwards, wanting to feel more. Draco moaned softly before finally saying, "Don't do that, Harry. I'm having a hard enough time holding back as it is."

Harry continued working his hips upwards, "Don't hold back…" He whispered, meaning every word.

Draco groaned loudly this time and Harry felt him sit up. Already he missed the feeling of Draco's skin against his but at the feeling of Draco's hot erection slipping against his own, he suddenly didn't mind so much. He felt Draco's hands on his chest, and a bit of pressure as the blond leaned forward a little, lifting his hips. Harry felt his cock slip nicely between Draco's firm cheeks. The crease there was hot and beginning to get a little sticky from the wetness of Harry's organ. He felt the head rub along Draco's puckered entrance a few times, but Draco made no move to press it inside yet.

"Do you want me?" Draco whispered to him, "Tell me you want me…"

Harry wasted no time in replying as his hands eagerly trailed over Draco's soft chest, searching downwards until he could grasp his manhood, "I want you Draco."

Draco cried out a little at the feeling of Harry's hand on his swollen cock. Harry gently stroked it, not truly holding tight enough to give his lover real pleasure. He knew this would quickly frustrate the boy but that was his intent. He didn't want to wait any longer and he knew that if given the opportunity, Draco would torture him all night.

He felt the blond get off of him for a moment and he almost started whining again, until Draco straddled him once more, only now in the opposite direction. Harry grabbed the well shaped globes above his face, spread his lover gently and leaning up to search for his entrance with his lips. Draco groaned, obviously not surprised.

Harry was surprised at how well he knew the world around him, even without his sight. Sure his tongue had to do a little more searching than usual to find the little pucker, but it wasn't like Draco didn't enjoy it. And his hands seemed to know Draco's body so well, he didn't have to see to touch Draco just the right way, inducing the by now familiar hitches in his breathing and small whimpers and moans. But tonight, every little sound seemed to sink deeper into Harry's mind than ever before. He'd have to compliment Draco on the blindfold idea later; he was actually enjoying it.

Harry licked intently at Draco's entrance and slowly stroked Draco's member in time; drawing the most spine tingling moans from his lover's mouth. Harry felt like Draco was a living instrument. He just had to strike the right chords, rub the right way and the most beautiful, arousing melody of moans would spring forth from the boy's throat. Harry felt powerful, even lying down blindfolded. He knew he had absolute control of his lover's body. It was a good feeling.

"S-Stop!" Draco shouted, moving away.

Harry chuckled and let his head relax against the pillows, "Is my tongue really that good?" he questioned knowing the answer. Draco's quivering muscles had been answer enough. And Draco knew that too.

He could hear the fake scowl in Draco's voice, "Shut up, _Potter_."

Harry only grinned wider.

"Don't worry." Draco said straddling him once more, this time with his hips positioned above Harry's own, "I'll wipe that cheeky little grin off your face. You'll be crying out my name by the end of the night."

Harry didn't doubt it was true, but he wasn't going to give in without a little bit of a fight. It was just too much fun to resist, "You wish, _Malfoy_." He responded with a smirk.

Harry heard Draco whispering a spell his smirk faltered a little not sure what it was. Then he felt Draco's slick hand rubbing up and down his cock and he knew the spell had been for lubrication. Draco was definitely liberal with it, spreading not only on the full length of his cock but, rolling his balls in his slick hand as well. Harry didn't even bother trying to hold in his moan. It felt too good.

Draco laughed a little, "You're too easy to manipulate, Harry."

Harry thrust his hips upwards a little trying to make his desire known, and luckily, Draco didn't keep him waiting much longer. He reached down to help Draco steady his cock so that the blond could sink down onto it. The first few inches were tense for them both, Draco trying to will his muscles to relax more and Harry trying not simply thrust up into the tight heat that he was soon going to be buried in. At the half way point they were moaning and grinding a little, each movement of their hips, sinking a little more into Draco's welcoming body. The last few inches slid in and Draco screamed out, as his ass fell flat against Harry's groin. Harry's brows were furrowed in concentration as he tried to control his instincts to just grab those slender hips and plow into the tender passage.

It took Draco a few more seconds to adjust before he slowly started rocking, signaling to Harry that he was ready for more. Harry's hands found Draco's hips and held them tight as he lifted and then pulled the boy back down.

He could feel all of Draco's endlessly tight grip sliding around him and it was overwhelming. Without his eyesight, the act felt so much deeper. It felt like it was more than just his body involved in this, but his soul as well. As great as all of their previous sex had been, this night felt the most intimate. For all the power that Harry had felt not minutes before, now he felt totally exposed and weak. Here he was lying naked, blindfolded in a room where no one would think to look for him, beneath the boy who had at one time been his arch nemesis and rival. Draco could take full advantage of Harry if he wanted to. But he wouldn't. Harry's _trusted_ that he wouldn't. It was such a deep trust that he felt closer to the boy than he'd ever felt before.

Harry suddenly didn't care about all the things Draco was hiding from him. He didn't care about anything else other than this moment, it was so good…

"God you're so deep…" Draco groaned out, "I…I love this, Harry." He whispered the last words and Harry could read what Draco had truly wanted to say, beneath the cover.

"I love you too." Harry said with a smile, thrusting his hips upward.

Draco didn't respond, but Harry didn't think he had to. This felt so right, that words were hardly needed. They never got too fast, only keeping a steady moderate pace up. But Harry found even that felt nearly too good. The slick tightness of Draco's body was too much for him to handle for any long periods of time. Even though it became obvious to him that Draco was trying to draw this out, he didn't think he could make it.

"Draco… please." He whispered thrusting up hard and feeling Draco's taut hole clench around him a few times.

The Slytherin let out a shivering breath, "You have no idea how sexy you look. Blindfolded with my tie and begging me for release."

Harry didn't respond, he couldn't think of words in his jumbled mind. He could only feel, only hear. He could hear the slick sound of Draco sliding up and down on his cock, he could hear Draco's heavy breath and the small gasps and moans that passed his lips each time Harry's hips thrust up hard. He could hear the sound of skin sliding against skin as Draco's hands ran up and down his chest. He could hear the soft and distant creaking of the mattress, his blood barreling through his veins, his heartbeat, loud and insistent.

He could feel so much heat, engulfing his body, scorching his skin, but Draco still seemed to feel warm against him. He could feel the cold air brushing against him and raising goosebumps on his flesh. He could feel Draco's hands touching him, teasing him, pinching or twisting his nipple, raking his blunt fingernails down his ribs. He could feel Draco's hot, pulsing cock in his hand as he steadily stroked it, never giving the boy more pleasure than was necessary, keeping right on the brink of insane pleasure but never giving him all of it. He could feel the way Draco's insides squeezed him; each tiny convulsion of the tight muscles. Harry's mind began to focus downward into that one action. Until his thoughts consisted only of in, out, in, out.

It felt so good! And he tried to tell Draco this but he was afraid it only came out as a satisfied groan. Oh well, he was sure Draco got the picture anyway.

Every time he was with Draco like this, he felt closer to him. And Harry felt every one of his doubts washed away. He trusted Draco with all his heart. With everything. The thought nearly brought tears to his eyes because he'd never felt so totally open before. Even though in reality, he was blinded.

"Take it off…" Harry whispered through his labored breathing. He wasn't going to last more than a few more minutes if the clenching in his lower stomach was anything to go by, "Take the blindfold off, I want to see you."

"I-I can't…" Draco struggled to reply, "My wand…"

And Harry sighed, figured Draco had cast it aside thoughtlessly. Even resigned to being in darkness, he wanted to be closer to the boy he loved. He pulled Draco's upper body downward, holding him tight and kissing roughly at his sensitive neck. Draco groaned loudly in his ear, rocking further as he tried to get used to penetration at the new angle. Harry's hips never stopped their thrusting, and honestly his muscles were starting to get sore, but it was worth it for the pleasure he both received and gave to one another.

"Oh Harry… Oh God…" Draco was muttering, "I… I _can't_."

Harry felt Draco's muscles tightening in preparation for his orgasm and he almost wanted to stop and let the boy catch his breath before continuing. But he was simply to close. At the first pulses of Draco's hole around him, Harry knew he was too far gone to stop himself. He managed to clumsily pull Draco into a kiss, letting the vibrations of the other's voice fill his mouth. Finally, he let his hand pick up the pace a little on Draco's cock, knowing that it was simply too late to do anything else.

He could half understand Draco's muffled whimpers in his mouth, and he realized the boy was muttering his name over and over. Harry smiled and kissed him harder. It was sloppy and clumsy but oh so damn good. Their lips overly wet and Harry was sure that was a bit of drool running down his cheek, but it was perfect anyway. Harry wouldn't have changed a single thing. And then he felt the heat beginning to sear through his body. He could feel it so clearly now that he was plunged in the world of darkness. He was so aware of his body that he felt the way his orgasm built itself up in his low stomach. The way his balls tightened, felt the burning liquid rushing upwards, spurting out of him and into Draco.

He was moaning loudly, his body arching up when Draco finally lost it at well, nearly screaming and biting quite hard on Harry's bottom lip as his seed pumped out across Harry's stomach.

Their bodies melted together after that, each of their muscles to weak to do anything other than turn to water. If Harry was honest with himself, Draco was actually kinda heavy on his chest, and he was having trouble breathing, but more than anything he didn't want to let go of him. He felt so good after that and he wasn't going to let go of the boy anytime soon.

"I love you, Draco." Harry whispered kissing along Draco's neck even more; retracing the marks he knew his teeth had left, "I love you so much."

Draco didn't say anything but he didn't pull away, and that was reassurance enough.

"I should get that blindfold off you now…" Draco whispered offhandedly but made no move to get his wand.

"Mmm.. don't worry about it, stay here like this, with me." Harry responded still holding Draco's naked body tight in his arms, as tight as he could with his shivering, weak muscles anyway.

Draco chuckled softly, "You're going to sleep with my tie wrapped around your face, huh? Kinky."

Harry laughed and rolled his eyes, "Shut up."

They lay content with their silence a little longer. Harry just could distantly feel Draco's heart in his chest. He could feel Draco's slowing pulse beneath his lips as he continued to lay soft kisses on his long neck. He felt like all the stresses of the past few days had never existed at all.

"Really though," Draco began with a heavy sigh as he removed himself from Harry's body, "I gotta get that blindfold off of you."

Harry groaned, his chest feeling much too cold without Draco lying on top of it. He heard lots of shuffling around and was growing more and more peeved, as the seconds without bodily contact with his lover ticked by.

"What'd you do, throw it? Your wand shouldn't be _that_ hard to find." Harry said hardly concealing the impatience in his voice.

"I already found my wand. I'm looking for my shirt… twat…" Draco muttered under his breath.

"Forget your shirt Draco. If your cold you can get under the covers with me, okay?" Harry offered trying to sound a little nicer this time.

He heard Draco let out a very long sigh; so long he was surprised the blond's lungs could even hold that much air. He felt the boy crawling back towards him on the bed and helping to maneuver them both under the covers before Harry heard a few whispered spells and the silky tie nearly slipped from his face of its own volition. He smiled as he opened his eyes again. Draco was already under the covers, but Harry was literally blown away by the sight of the boy's face. His cheeks still flushed pink from exertion, his lips swollen, the bottom one sporting a small mark from where Harry might've bit just a little too hard, his eyes heavily lidded and sparkling gently in the bright light of the moon.

"Gorgeous…" Harry whispered, reaching out to stroke Draco's cheek.

He saw the happiness and love lighting up Draco's eyes at the motion and watched as Draco turned his head to lightly kiss Harry's thumb as a thank you.

"Is my middle name." He said with his full, infamous Malfoy smirk. But Harry only smiled wider knowing the conceit was only Draco's cover for feelings that were still to raw for him to really show. And Harry didn't mind at all.

He leaned in and kissed the end of Draco's nose before snuggling close to the boy. Harry felt warm and loved and perfect there. It most certainly hadn't been the most earth shattering fuck they'd ever had, and it hadn't been soft and loving and caring. But somehow, this night ranked up in Harry's list of the top ten. Because he felt so absolutely perfect afterwards. He felt tied to Draco in some invisible way. Not that it was necessary. He was never going to let go of Draco, not if it killed him.

Xx-XxX-xX

Okay, thanks for reading guys. I'll have the next chappie out to you soon! I just want to take the time to thank everybody for their reviews and alerts and favorites and stuff. I honestly think the beginning of this story (first 10 chapters) is absolute crap and needs to be rewritten. So I'm surprised so many of you pushed through the first chaps of crap to get to the good part. XD

As always, leave a review if you liked this chapter, you know I'm a review whore. That's why I always ask. ^_^ I can't help it. It's lyk mah drug!

I'm sure most of you have already kinda figured out what's coming up next. But I'm not gonna say it, in case some of you really don't know. After all, it's supposed to be a surprise. It's not my fault some of you are just all psychic and stuff. :P

Anyway, thanks for reading!


	40. Chapter 40

Chapter 40

Draco came into consciousness very slowly. He hadn't meant to fall asleep for that long. He could tell it'd been at least 3 or 4 hours. But considering, there wasn't a blindingly bright golden light on the other side of his eyelids, he assumed it was still nighttime, so that was good. He cracked open his eyes a bit and saw that it was true, the room still relatively darkened and very quiet. But he could tell the sun would be up within the hour. He let his eyes fall closed again soon after, trying to deny that he was awake.

Even though he _really _didn't want to, he knew it was time to get up. Time to escape back to his dorms before people started roaming the halls in the early morning. He'd had to walk through his common room only once, with his shirt ripped, his hair mussed, and obvious hickeys splattered across his pale skin and the looks he'd received from his house mates that day had been enough for him to always make sure he left early in the future.

He groaned and repositioned himself a little, sliding nicely against the pure white silk sheets. Harry really was amazing with transfiguring beds. It'd taken him a while to get the hang of it after Draco had taught him, but soon Harry had flown right past him. As he does with so many things. Damn 'chosen one' powers and such…

Draco smiled a little at the thought of Harry, but he didn't feel the boy's body beside him. A little confused, Draco reached out to grab a hold of the Gryffindor, but his arm found nothing but rumpled sheets.

Now finally beginning to feel worry, Draco opened his eyes once more and this time, took in the room around him. Harry was there, sitting on the edge of the bed, already dressed in his pants, his back towards Draco, his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. Was Draco hallucinating or was Harry shaking?

"Harry?" Draco whispered his sleepy voice cutting through the thick silence like a knife.

Harry's head turned slowly and he only glanced at Draco over his shoulder before turning away again.

It took Draco exactly 2.7 seconds to take it all in. The duvet that had somehow gotten kicked aside as they slept, and Draco's pale left arm reaching out through the white sheets to search for Harry, the dark mark starkly contrasting his fair skin, mocking him silently.

He scrambled suddenly to hide his arm, though they both knew it was much too late for that. Harry had seen, probably while Draco was still fast asleep. He knew he should've put his shirt back on before going to bed. But in his head he'd thought he could just wake up and get dressed before Harry…

"Harry, wait. Ju-Just let me explai—" Draco started lies beginning to whirlwind in his head as he tried to think of a way out.

"When?" Harry asked softly. Draco felt a prickling behind his eyes. Harry's voice sounded dark and… broken. He slammed his eyes shut and took a few shivering breaths to get control of himself.

"The night I… didn't show up." Draco responded trying to keep his voice even.

Harry chuckled softly, "I fucking _knew_ it…"

Draco winced a little and stood, grabbing his clothes and slowly pulling them on. It was silent for a long time as Draco dressed, not sure what to say. What was there for him to say? There wasn't a single lie that could get him out of this.

Draco stood, shaking slightly as he tried to think of someway to explain, "Harry, I…" he trailed not sure where to start.

"I trusted you." Harry whispered, "With _everything._ With everything I ever had to give. I gave it all. Every last bit of everything in me, all to _you._"

The words were like daggers. The pain was so sharp that if he wasn't so sure that Harry wouldn't ever actually hurt him, he would've looked down to see if he was bleeding.

Harry stood and turned to face Draco, slowly, his movements seeming to be in slow motion. His eyes were hard as gems; dark emeralds set in a livid face. Draco swallowed in fear; he'd never seen Harry like this before. And some instinct in his gut suddenly told him that Harry was more than a little dangerous.

"I defended you," Harry continued, his voice quiet and seething "When my friend's questioned your loyalties. I trusted you, I took care of you, I did everything to make you happy, I _loved_ you, Draco. A-And you…"

Harry paused, his face nearly collapsing in pain and Draco wanted nothing more that to reach out and hold him. He wanted to make that look disappear forever.

"Harry," Draco started carefully, his voice sounding foreign to his ears, "I didn't mean for—"

"Shut up." Harry snapped at him and Draco's jaw shut instantly, "I can't trust anything you say anymore."

Draco's body sagged realizing this wasn't something Harry would forgive him for in a few days. But he hadn't had any choice. Why couldn't Harry just see that?

"I l-loved you s-so much…" Harry choked out obviously on the verge of tears.

Draco bit his lip, his head spinning, his heart clenching, "…_Loved_?" he asked tentatively.

Harry's emerald eyes flashed up to his suddenly filled with rage at the single word, "Get out." Harry said the sound of his voice making Draco jump in fear.

"Get out!" Harry yelled, his face red, his eyes burning. Draco felt the tears slip down his face at the utter unfamiliarity of the boy before him now. He didn't wipe them away.

"Go! Leave! I said GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW!" Harry screamed at the top of his lungs, causing the first sobs to break free from Draco's throat as he ran for the door, too scared to look back. .

He took the stairs in twos, stumbling over the last ones before he sprinted down the halls. He wasn't even watching for teachers, which is why he was so damned lucky he didn't run into one. He held in his sobs all the way down to the dungeons, but they didn't let up, they began to build upon each other until his chest felt like a volcano ready to explode. He spat the password out at the snake and ran through the nearly empty common room, ignoring everyone and literally pushing some 3rd year boy hard into a wall as he went for his bed. He threw himself on it, had enough mind to close his curtains and point his shaking wand at them with a silencing charm before the panic in his body slowly started to cool down.

He sat still, staring at his dark green curtains for about ten seconds, before he grabbed one of his pillows and screamed into it as loud and as hard as he could. He broke down into a heap on his bed, holding his pillow to his face and sobbing harder than he ever had in his life. His throat hurt, his temples throbbed, his eyes burned, his chest ached. But eventually, the worst of it passed. The emotional pain didn't let up, but the crying did.

He couldn't breathe, his chest and throat felt tight and sore. He choked on his breath what felt like hundreds of times before he finally started to gain control of it again. His eyes went dry, though the salty tracks down his cheeks remained. The headache however, only seemed to get worse as the minutes ticked away making Draco clutch at his head and beg it to stop.

He begged his eyes to un-see the look on Harry's face**, t**he betrayal and hurt written so clearly written on his features. And his hard eyes that looked almost fake. His eyes hadn't even looked like he was alive. He begged his ears to un-hear the sound of Harry's screaming. He'd _never_ in his entire time knowing the boy heard him scream like that.

Draco couldn't handle all of this. He couldn't handle becoming a Death Eater _and_ losing Harry like this. He had to work on the antidote for Ginny and he only had a few more weeks to complete it, He had to kill the strongest wizard he'd ever met, he was marked forever as something he didn't want to be, and now the boy he was in love with would sooner cast the killing curse on him than so much as smile in his direction ever again. He couldn't take it.

"Uh… Hey. Draco?" Blaise's muted voice came to him through his curtains, "You alright in there?"

Suddenly remembering something, Draco pulled his curtains back and few inches and reached out to dig around in the drawer of his bedside table.

"I'm fine." he snapped at his friend, just wanting him to go away.

"You knocked some kid unconscious by throwing him into a wall. I don't think that qualifies as 'fine'." Blaise continued.

Finding what he was looking for, Draco grabbed hold of it and closed his curtains again, signaling Blaise to leave. Luckily, for the first time, the boy actually seemed to take the hint. Draco heard his friend sigh before saying, "We'll talk about it later."

He listened to the retreating footsteps as he help up the flask in his hand. He'd nearly forgotten about the dreamless sleep potion Sev had given him all those months ago. He'd never had need to use it afterwards. But now, he wanted nothing more than to fall into some peaceful place for a few hours… or days… or weeks.

He unscrewed the top, held his nose and simply chugged the whole thing. He knew one swallows would be enough to put him out for a full eight hours. He wondered how much the entire flask would do, or if he'd ever wake up at all, but he just really, _really_ didn't care.

With the empty flask in his hand he wasn't even able to wipe his mouth before he was falling asleep. He was unconscious before his head hit the pillow.

Xx-XxX-xX

Harry had stayed in the tower room for another few hours after Draco left, unsure of what to do with himself. Most of him just wanted to scream and break things and a big part of him wanted to just lie down and cry until he didn't feel anything. And a tiny part in the back of his head wanted to run after Draco. Whether to curse or to comfort he wasn't sure. But either way he wasn't going to listen to that voice anymore.

That was the stupid voice in the back of his head that had thought, _this is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with,_ and, _he really does love me, even if he doesn't say it_.

It was blatantly clear to Harry now that Draco had never loved him. If he had, he wouldn't have bowed to Voldemort and allowed his body to be marked irrevocably. Harry could leave kiss marks all he wanted but Draco belonged to Voldemort now.

He winced as little as he headed down to lunch. He'd missed his morning classes and went back to the dorm to shower and dress before heading out. He was determined not to let this break him. Even if he felt like he was already in pieces on the inside, **h**e had things to do. Like finding a cure for Ginny, winning the Quidditch cup, passing all his exams.

He could get through, even if he had to be like a zombie while he did it. He wasn't going to let Draco Malfoy ruin this year any further. Even if he felt like his soul had been trashed from the inside out; that could be taken care of later.

As he entered the Great Hall, many eyes turned to him. That wasn't unusual at all, considering he was famous so Harry ignored it and walked forward purposefully. He sat down between Hermione and Neville.

"Maybe I should leave before I get punched again." Seamus laughed from the other side of the long table.

Harry spared a glance at him and knew he was supposed to laugh but couldn't actually bring himself to do so. Hermione's hand touched his shoulder.

"Harry? Are you okay?" she asked her eyebrows drawn up in concern.

"Fine." Harry bit out, hearing how harsh his voice sounded, "Better than fine, actually." He finished before beginning to fill his plate with food he knew he probably wouldn't eat.

"Are you sure, Harry? You look pretty pissed off. It's not because of me right?" Ron asked staring straight at him.

Harry avoided his eyes, "No, Ron. I'm not pissed at anyone. I'm just… tired."

"He did WHAT?" they heard from across the room making every eye turn. Harry was reluctant to look towards the Slytherin table but relieved to see that Draco wasn't there.

Pansy Parkinson pushed Blaise away from where he'd been bent down to talk to her, "God damn it! You were there and you didn't stop him!"

"You know the reason I whispered it was for fucking _confidentiality_." Blaise said grabbing her arm and nearly dragging the both of them out of the Great Hall.

The whispers that started up afterwards almost hurt Harry's ears. Of course… he was curious about that exchange as well but… Harry closed his eyes for a minute surprised at the heat behind his eyes. He'd cried enough for an entire year earlier. Surely there could be no tears left.

He wasn't going to go back to the way things were before. He wasn't going to ignore Draco, or push him away. They were much too far in for that, or at least, he was, even if Draco wasn't. He wasn't… breaking up with him. That was impossible for Harry now. He still loved Draco too much, even though at this moment, he sort of wished he didn't. He just needed some time to get his head together. He'd explain that to Draco later.

Harry opened his eyes slowly, when he was sure he'd be okay.

"Woah… what the hell was that about?" Dean asked as he took a bite out of an apple, "Romantic conflict?"

"Didn't seem like it." Hermione said leaning forward a little, "They were talking about someone else."

"Well hopefully the rumors get around quick so we can hear about it." Lavender Brown said, inviting herself into the conversation.

Harry sighed and stood, leaving the food on his plate completely untouched. His stomach twisted angrily with hunger but he just didn't feel like eating.

"I'll see you all in class." He muttered, throwing his bag over his shoulder and leaving before anyone could stop him.

Xx-XxX-xX

Harry wasn't sure exactly how made it through the rest of the day. Or the next day. Or the one after that. Mostly because he hardly remembered it. He showed up for his classes, turned in his homework, took notes on the lectures, and yet by the time he left his last afternoon class on Friday, he didn't feel he'd really done anything. He didn't even feel like he'd been present at all. Just sort of… going through the motions. Luckily though, no one seemed to notice, or if they did, they didn't question him.

They next thing Harry knew he was walking with his friends into the library for their normal search for Ginny's cure. He remembered that he'd found the Nightmare Elixir but he wasn't sure he wanted to tell everyone about it yet. He knew they'd jump on the idea since they hadn't really found anything in all their weeks of searching. Instead, he decided he'd do a little researching on his own before revealing it.

Instead of gravitating towards the thick dusty books that described every sort of magical ailment you could get, Harry chose a slimmer book a few isles away about how to create your own potions. He figured, if the half blood prince could do it, so could he. Okay… well maybe he couldn't all by himself considering how terrible he was at potions. But Draco could probably…

Harry winced again before sitting down and opening the book. He could feel that his friends were giving him strange looks but he didn't look up to acknowledge them. It just really wasn't any of their business. But try telling that to an angry Hermione. In her mind, _everything_ was her business.

"So did you all hear? About what happened to Draco Malfoy?" Parvati asked leaning in with that excited gossipy gleam in her eyes that all girls got whenever sharing juicy info.

Luna Lovegood nodded before sighing and slightly shaking her head, "I sorta think it's sad. Don't you?"

Curious enough about what they were talking about, Harry lifted his head to watch the conversation.

"I think it's about damn time." Ron said scratching at his bright hair before turning the page in his hugely oversized book.

"Ron, as much as you hate him, really you shouldn't think things like that. It's just cruel." Hermione scolded.

"What about all the cruel things he's done to us, huh? I think the bastard deserves it." Ron argued back.

"Sorry," Harry interrupted making everyone turn to look at him, "But what are you all talking about?"

Seamus laughed, "So you are awake over there. Haven't you heard? It's been buzzing around the school for days."

"Rumor has it," Parvati said, eyes still gleaming with the chance to inform someone else, "That Malfoy tried to kill himself."

Harry felt the look that twisted onto his face but didn't seem able to control it. Fortunately his friends took it as shock and horror and nothing else.

"I wonder why he did it though..." Luna whispered looking up at the ceiling, "He doesn't seem like the type. Maybe the poisonous brain-eating Larmats got to him?"

"What happened to him?" Harry asked urgently, ignoring Luna's comment.

"They thought it was another poisoning at first, but his friend was there and saw him take an entire flask of poison or something. That's what everyone's saying at least." Parvati explained.

Harry stood up quickly and grabbed his bag, not bothering to explain anything to anyone. He didn't give a shit what they thought at that moment, the only thing he could think was _please_ don't let him be dead.

Over and over the sentence spiraled through his mind. He wouldn't be able to handle it if he lost Draco to this. He… wasn't sure what he'd do. Draco couldn't be dead. Harry couldn't live if he was. He didn't think he'd be able to make it through a single day in a world where Draco didn't exist. Ignoring him or being angry was different. Knowing Draco was _gone_ and never coming back… Harry couldn't even imagine. He shut the ideas out of his mind.

Breath heaving from the long run Harry paused outside of the hospital wing doors thinking of some excuse for going in. Maybe to see Ginny because he thought he found a cure? That sounded as plausible as anything. He doubted Madame Pomfrey would let him in if he said he wanted to see Draco.

He stepped inside carefully, peeking through the door just a little to see who was there. And surprisingly, the only person he saw standing was Dumbledore. Confused but grateful, Harry walked inside not missing the way the old man's bright eyes flickered up to him.

Harry swallowed as he neared Draco's bed, wondering what he'd see. He was more than a little relieved when Draco turned over his bed, obviously only sleeping, not in the death like coma Ginny was in.

"Harry," Dumbledore started, "What brings you here?"

"I… came to see Ginny. But I heard about Malfoy and wanted to see if the rumors are true." Harry answered slowly, his eyes hardly leaving Draco's form beneath his blankets. Oh what he wouldn't give to reach out and touch him, just a little, to feel that he was warm and alive and safe.

Dumbledore nodded, "Poppy, Minerva, and Severus should be addressing the school any moment now. Though Draco did tell us he took the potion himself, and he hasn't tested positive for recent use of the **I**mperious, it's important that the students be made aware of the danger at hand."

Harry's mind had stopped registering the words after, "_He_ told you he took it himself?"

"Oh yes, Severus gave him a remedy quite quickly. The excesses of the Dreamless Sleep he took earlier were mostly nullified and we were able to wake him up. But he will be drowsy for the next few days. And probably have little to no trouble getting to sleep for the rest of his life." Dumbledore chuckled, "He claims he only wanted to rest but he took enough of the potion to put him out for at least a month or so."

Harry was a bit angry at hearing that. So Draco had just done this to scare everyone, huh? Just to get him to worry when really he had no intention of dying. Harry rolled his eyes and sat down in the chair next to Draco's bed trying not to show what he was feeling on his face.

"Well…" Dumbledore said standing, "I've got a few things to take care of. I trust you'll have your visit with Ginny and be out of here in a timely fashion."

Harry nodded to the smiling man, not quite able to believe he was being left alone in the hospital wing. Did he really have that much immunity to the rules? Or did Dumbledore know that he wanted nothing more than to be alone with Draco for just a few minutes**?** He simply stared wide-eyed at the old wizard as he left the hospital wing, the door slamming unceremoniously shut behind him.

Harry sat still for all of a minute before he was at Draco's side. He didn't even remember standing up, but there he was, leaning over his sleeping lover. A large part of him was still very angry, but the rest of him felt mostly sorrow and relief. He'd never known emotions could come in such weird mixes until he met Draco. Before him, he could only feel one thing at a time.

Harry lightly shook his shoulder, "Hey… Draco, wake up." he whispered.

The boy turned over again but didn't show any signs of waking up. Sighing and mentally cursing Draco and his dramatics with the sleeping potion, Harry backed away and pulled out his wand.

"Ennervate."

Draco sat up straight sucking in shocked breaths. He rubbed his eyes and groaned, "Bloody… Sev I _told_ you to let me fucking sleep!"

Glad at least that Draco's personality wasn't changed indefinitely, Harry poked his shoulder with the tip of his wand, "You can sleep later."

Draco turned to look at him before he backed away quickly, nothing but fear written on his face. Harry tried to ignore how badly that hurt him. Months and months of slowly romancing the Slytherin until Draco fully trusted him, all wiped away in two minutes of yelling. He hadn't forgotten his promise to himself, to never give Draco reason to distrust him. But it was turning out to be much harder to keep than he thought.

"D-Don't kill me." Draco whispered his eyes flickering down to Harry's wand and back up.

Harry frowned, "You honestly think I even could?"

Draco swallowed and backed away even further, to the very edge of his narrow cot, "I don't know." He replied finally.

"I am mad at you, Draco." Harry said honestly, "What's with all this pretending to kill yourself business? Just trying to get me to go out of my mind with worry and guilt?" he didn't try to cover the accusing tone of his voice.

Draco's expression changed a little towards one of anger, "I _was not_ trying to kill myself. I wasn't… thinking straight. I wanted to sleep so I just drank the potion. No big deal."

Harry sighed and, ignoring the look of distrust on Draco's face, pulled the boy into his arms roughly. He squeezed the blond painfully tight, taking a small bit of satisfaction in Draco's whimper, "Don't _ever_ do anything like that again, idiot."

Draco pushed him away halfheartedly, "Why do you even care anymore? Things would be a helluva lot easier for you if I was dead."

Harry grabbed Draco's thin shoulders in both his hands and held him tight. It took everything in him to **not** shake the boy like a rag doll and hope that maybe that knocked some sense back into him.

"Just cuz I'm really, _really_ angry with you doesn't mean I want you dead." Harry growled out lowly, hoping Draco would believe him.

The blond stared at him for a few seconds before reaching up to remove Harry's hands. Harry didn't miss the bandage on his arm. He wondered how he'd managed to hide it from Dumbledore and Pomfrey. Harry was sure Dumbledore wouldn't let a Death Eater stay in the castle even if he was a student.

"We have a lot to talk about." Harry finally said backing away. Instantly his body craved more contact, but he wouldn't show that much weakness yet. He didn't want Draco to know just how badly he needed him. Not yet, at least, "Sneak out of here and meet me in the tower room tonight."

Draco shook his head, "I can't."

Harry sighed exaggeratedly, he was really beginning to hate those words, "It won't be hard, Draco. Pomfrey's gotta sleep sometime."

Draco rolled his silvery eyes, "I meant I can't go because I can't walk. The relaxing agent in the potion won't wear off for at least another day. I'm happy I can move at all."

Harry looked away for a moment and tried to think. He could feel Draco's eyes on his face and it was a little distracting but he tried not to let it get to him.

"I'll come back for you at midnight and help you." He finally decided.

Draco let out a short laugh of disbelief, "What're you gonna do, carry me?"

"If I have to." Harry answered with nothing but seriousness in his voice.

Draco stared at him and shook his head slightly, "You're insane." He whispered.

Harry cracked a smile for the first time that day, "But you love me anyway."

The silence that fell over them afterwards was deafening. Draco swallowed and looked away while Harry watched the bob of his Adam's apple. It was the truth, and the both knew it. There was little they could do to hide from it anymore. Harry knew that Draco was still trying to. Still trying to deny it because it was easier for him, but there no confusing the feeling between them with anything else.

"I still love you." Harry whispered, "Nothing you can do will make me stop."

Draco looked away and bit his lip hard, his eyes shining with wetness. But Harry continued, "I may really hate you sometimes too. But it doesn't matter. It fucking sucks to be this in love with you but it's not going anywhere so… deal with it, Malfoy."

Draco laughed a little and shook his head again, "I…" Harry waited patiently, knowing Draco wouldn't say what he wanted to, "I'll see you at midnight." Draco finished lamely.

Harry smiled a little again, this time with nothing but bitterness. For all the time he wasted trying to cover his feelings, Draco was extremely easy to read.

"See you." Harry whispered before turning to leave.

Xx-XxX-xX

Sorry this chap is so sad everybody. But hopefully it'll be fixed soon. It's all up to the characters how things go. I just write about it. XD


	41. Chapter 41

Chapter 41

Harry slipped into the hospital wing under his invisibility cloak. Madame Pomfrey's room was at the end of the long hall, but the lights were off. He figured she was either asleep, in Dumbledore's office discussing whatever it is teachers discuss, or out helping to patrol the halls. Harry saw Draco's bright eyes flash towards the opening and closing door. Even though Harry knew Draco couldn't actually see him, the door moving was enough to inform Draco he was there.

The blond sat up and much to Harry's surprise, got out of the bed. But he was holding the metal bars of the footboard, obviously leaning a lot of his weight on them. Harry pulled off his invisibility cloak for a minute and nodded to him, not able to bring himself to smile.

Draco nodded stiffly back before Harry reached out and took hold of him. Draco wrapped one arm around Harry's shoulders, obviously struggling to keep himself upright, and Harry wrapped his arm around Draco's slender waist, holding him tightly to his side. It amazed him that Draco could _look_ so skinny and feel so heavy. Harry wrapped the invisibility cloak around both of their shoulders as best he could. Even if there were a few body parts showing, it would still be easier to sneak around.

"Thanks for this." Draco whispered as the slowly left the hospital wing, each of them trying to find the best way to maneuver through the doors and out in the quiet corridors.

"Don't mention it." Harry whispered as with his other hand he pulled the Marauders map out of his pocket. Unable to make out the names in the dim light he turned to Draco, "Hey cast lumos over here for a second."

He felt Draco move around a little, obviously pulling his wand from his pocket before his dark wand was lit at the tip, casting a silvery glow over them both. Harry checked ahead the next few corridors and saw that indeed Madame Pomfrey was in Dumbledore's office, along with Snape. Probably discussing some sort of treatment for Ginny. Their path was totally clear until just one hallway shy of the portrait hole. Mrs. Norris was wondering around there, but seemed to be headed towards the Ravenclaw dorms. Harry figured by the time he and Draco got there, she'd be long gone.

"What _is_ that?" Draco asked staring at the map with obvious interest.

Harry cleared his throat a little almost forgetting that Draco would look at the map too, "My father's map. It shows where everyone is in the castle." He muttered, not to keen on sharing his secret weapon with Draco.

"That's bloody amazing." Draco sighed reverently, "No wonder you break the rules so easily. With an invisibility cloak _and_ a map like that."

Harry nodded offhandedly not sure how to respond further. And Draco seemed to realize he wasn't in the mood for talking because he too was silent after that. It was slow progress and Harry's arm was starting to ache from supporting Draco. But they pushed on, hiding a few times in the shadows as a teacher passed and pausing a few times to simply rest against a wall. Draco nearly fell asleep twice and Harry had to (rather harshly) shake him awake, which was a lot more satisfying than it should have been. But he knew it was just the lingering effects of the potion and had little to do with whether or not Draco was actually tired.

The stairs up to the tower room were narrow and steep making it very difficult for Harry to get them both up alive. At one point they nearly fell back down the stairs but Draco managed to reach out and brace himself against the wall.

Needless to say, by the time they actually reached the tower room, they were exhausted and a little sore. The bed from the last time they were there still sat in the center of the room. Harry hadn't thought to change it back but he was glad it was there now. After sitting Draco down, he nearly threw himself on it and allowed himself to finally relax.

Draco didn't lie down next to him, and Harry was glad. He was, after all, still not too pleased with the blond.

"So," Draco started as he rubbed his weak legs, "Why'd you invite me here? I thought… you'd never talk to me again."

Harry didn't answer for a long time as he tried to think of a way to explain. But eventually he thought of the words, "I am still furious with you Draco. Mostly for lying to me all this time. If you'd just taken the time to tell me… I don't think I'll ever be able to not be mad about this Draco. I'll always be disappointed that you chose that bastard over me but… I love you more than all of that."

Draco's head bowed low and Harry waited for a response, knowing the blond well enough to know one was forthcoming. Like he predicted, after a few minutes Draco finally spoke.

"You don't have any idea how horrible this is for me, do you? You think I _wanted_ this? That I actively chose this damned mark over you? _Of course_ I want to be with you, to join the good side, to be happy and safe and let you take care of me. But I just fucking _can't_." Draco bit out the last words with obvious anger.

But Harry didn't let himself believe it, how could he ever believe anything Draco said again? "You can do anything, Draco. The only thing stopping you _is_ you. Or _was_ really. Now you're his. There isn't much I can do for you."

He watched as Draco pale hands clenched at each other, into his knuckles were tipped white, until his blunt nails bit painfully deep into his skin. It was painful just to watch.

"Is this all you brought me here for?" Draco asked.

"What do you want me to say Draco? That I forgive you? That I'll take care of you anyway and just pretend everything is the way it was?" Harry asked mockingly, and knowing he was purposefully hurting the boy he loved. Part of him justified it as Draco's rightful punishment, but the rest of him knew it was wrong either way.

"I'm leaving." Draco snapped, trying to stand, his legs shaking with the effort.

Harry laughed bitterly, staring up at the rafters, "Good luck with that."

Draco managed about three steps before Harry heard him fall. He closed his eyes for a minute before sitting up to see where Draco was. Draco sat on the flat stones that made the floor of the tower room, his long legs in an awkward position. Harry could nearly feel the helplessness radiating off of him.

He stood to help Draco back to the bed but the blond snapped at him, "Don't you fucking come near me."

Harry wanted to say something else scathing, because it did at least temporarily help with his anger. But honestly, acting like this wasn't helping either of them. Ignoring Draco's words, Harry walked over to him and helped to lift him back up and sit him back down on the bed.

Draco didn't respond, but he didn't fight him either. Harry stood for a while before he knelt down in front of Draco. He grabbed his left arm and finally, Draco began to resist, panic appearing on his face. But Harry was firm; he pushed Draco's sleeve up to his elbow and ripped the bandage off. The edges around the mark were a raw looking pink color. And the black magic that had seeped into Draco's skin was a darker shade than any Harry had ever seen before.

"Did it hurt?" He asked quietly as he examined it, trying in his mind to simply accept this as apart of his Draco. It wasn't going to disappear, so he had to come to terms with it.

Draco laughed a little, "More than you can fucking believe."

Harry glanced up at his eyes, glad at least they weren't fogged over. He reached out with his other hand to touch the dark snake and skull with his finger but as soon as his skin came into contact with Draco's, the boy cried out in pain and jerked his arm back.

"Don't touch it!" he said with dark urgency, "You should know better!"

Harry sighed, "It still hurts? It's been weeks."

"It always hurts." Draco whispered pulling his sleeve back down.

"There's still a place for you with me, Draco." Harry said changing the subject, "It'll be harder now. But you can still stay with me. Even if just as a spy like Snape."

Draco sighed as though Harry were missing something very obvious, "Maybe one day. But I can't right now. And soon… you won't even want me to."

Harry ground his teeth together, "What is with you? Why do you always act like I'm going to leave you or not want you anymore? I've told you hundreds of times, _nothing_ will make me leave. I may not ever forgive you, I may not ever got over this. And yeah, it fucking hurts, but I'm not going anywhere. I already found out about this, what else could there be?"

The pain and guilt in Draco's eyes made Harry stop for a moment, "Draco?" He asked quietly feeling nothing but dread, "There's more, isn't there? There's still more lies."

Draco nodded slowly and Harry suddenly felt so tired. He didn't want to beg for answers anymore. He didn't want to plead for Draco to stay with him. He just wanted to close his eyes for a few minutes and hope all his problems would be gone when he opened them again. Unfortunately, he knew they wouldn't.

"I hate you." Harry whispered, feeling the loathing behind the words, "I hate you so much."

He heard a hitch in Draco's breathing but didn't bother looking up. He wrapped his arms around Draco's waist and rested his head against his leg, "If only that were actually enough to make me stop loving you too. Bastard…"

He felt Draco's cool hand run through his tangled hair and he sighed in comfort this time, "You can't love and hate at the same time, Harry." Draco murmured softly.

Harry chuckled, "I might've thought that once. But I know better now."

"I'm sorry. For ruining everything." Draco replied lowly.

"I know you are, Draco." Harry whispered, "I know."

Xx-xX

A few hours later they were simply lying together on the bed. Mostly quiet except for Harry's occasional questions, which, to his credit, Draco answered as best he could. Harry's anger was gone now. And he was still as determined as ever to save Draco from the fate that Draco seemed unwilling to stop. Harry knew he could make things better; he'd managed it every year before now, hadn't he? In the face of the greatest odds, Harry always came out on top. There was always a way.

He stroked Draco's silky hair lovingly, enjoying being close to him and hoping their days weren't as numbered as they seemed.

"So how did you get out of the castle?" Harry asked quietly.

Draco paused for a minute obviously picking his words carefully, "There's a pathway, through the Room of Requirement. I've been working to fix it all year and asking me to go to him like that was testing whether or not I'd managed to get it to work. Well it did, and it got me back too. But the damn thing's broken again."

Harry nodded, "How did you know he wanted to see you?"

"He told me before." Draco whispered nuzzling his face a little closer into the crook of Harry's neck, "He said after I turned 17 I'd have to. Sev told me that afternoon and I couldn't think of a way to get out of it."

"That's why you were upset about your birthday…" Harry whispered.

It wasn't a question but Draco nodded anyway, "I wanted to tell you. But I didn't want to see how disappointed you'd be. And I knew you'd try to stop me."

"Of course I would." Harry replied, "Being understanding can only go so far."

Draco turned over a little and looked up at the rafters, "It was unstoppable. You know it. I know it. We were born into our roles, you on one side, me on the other. Like some twisted Shakespeare play, huh?" Draco laughed.

"That's bullshit. You can be whatever you want. Nothing is forced upon you from birth. Fate isn't as powerful as you think it is. Blaming fate is a cop out, and you know it." Harry scolded half heartedly. He meant the words but he wasn't up to another argument. Luckily, he knew Draco wasn't either.

Draco shook his head, "We're marked people, Harry. You've got your mark and now I've got mine and that's the way it is."

"Wha…" Harry started, "I don't have a—" But Draco's hand reached up and touched moved under his bangs, his fingers sliding softly against the lighting bolt scar on his forehead. Harry quieted.

"So can you just stop being the Boy-Who-Lived whenever you want? You can disappear off to some distant country and leave Voldemort to the rest of us?" Draco asked looking at him knowingly.

Harry sighed, "Okay… So maybe some things you just can't change. But the only reason I'm still fighting him is because I believe in what I'm fighting for. If I didn't I might've run away a long time ago. I know you don't really want to serve him."

Draco shrugged slightly, "I know I made the right choice. No matter what you say."

Harry sighed again, even heavier this time, and didn't respond. This conversation wasn't getting him anywhere anyway. He tried to see it from Draco's point of view. But there were just too many gaps in what he knew about Draco's motives for it to make much sense. Part of him trusted that Draco wouldn't have done it without good reason. The rest of him wanted to believe there was nothing that would ever justify what he'd done. But being pissed off about it wasn't helping either of them. It may be sort of punishing Draco for making that choice, but it was hurting Harry just as bad.

"This wasn't how I wanted this to happen, you know. I didn't want you to find out like this." Draco said absently.

"You would've preferred me to never find out." Harry scowled hating the idea that Draco could keep something like this from him.

Draco laughed, "It almost worked too. What've we got, three weeks left?" Harry didn't answer, not wanting to confirm how little time they had. Draco took a deep breath, "Listen I know now this entire thing was a terrible decision. I knew before I met you that I would do this. And for some stupid reason I thought I could be with you just this year and then we could tearfully part and be no worse for wear. I thought it would be as easy to get out of this as it was to get in. Shows how smart I really am, huh?

"I'm a terrible person." Draco asserted calmly, "A terrible, lying, manipulative, son of a bitch. But I'm still selfish enough to want you to not give up on me. I just hope one day I'll be worth it."

Harry rolled his eyes, "You finished?" he asked.

Draco glared at him, "I'm trying to fucking explain my self. Prick…"

"You're acting like I'm some innocent, perfect person in all of this." Harry replied, "As if I didn't have a clue this is where we would end up. And I _am_ stupid enough to still fight to fix it."

Draco grabbed his hand, "You're not stupid Harry. From now on I'll… I'm going to be honest with you. About everything that I can be. I don't like hating myself this much for what I'm doing to you. You _are_ perfect. And I'm gonna try my damnedest to be worth it for you."

Harry turned and looked at the blond to see the boy's eyes were closed, his face set into a determined frown, "You really mean that?"

"Yes." Draco replied quickly without a single trace of doubt in his voice, "I've fucked up bad enough so far. It'd be so damn easy if I could just keep lying and keep hiding and keep pretending it's all okay. Just waiting for my time to run out. But I don't ever want to see your face the way I saw it that morning. Never ever again. And if that means being all noble and brave then… I guess I'll just have to give it a shot, won't I?"

"You're going to be honest? About everything? _Everything,_ everything?" Harry asked disbelievingly. He didn't want to trust him. What if it was a lie again? He wouldn't be able to handle it.

Draco looked him right in the eyes, there was fear there, but he had a sort of giddy, reckless smile on his face, "_Everything_. I promise. I'll spend the rest of my life making up for this year of stupid mistakes if you'd like."

Harry's eyes narrowed as he tried to see so much as a flicker of dishonesty, a crack in his sincere determined gaze. There wasn't one. But Harry still couldn't bring himself to trust the boy fully. Not after that morning. He doubted he'd ever trust Draco the way he had before. But there was that stupid voice in the back of his head that was hoping so fervently that this was real and everything would actually work out.

As he was watching him, Draco's eyes glazed over and he rather suddenly fell limp on the bed in sleep. Harry sighed quite annoyed by Draco's sleepy spells. He reached out to shake the boy's shoulder but stopped when he saw the raw, unguarded smile spread across Draco's face. He couldn't be dreaming could he? Or faking it?

"Draco?" Harry asked but he didn't respond. Harry sighed and leaned down to press a chaste kiss to Draco's forehead.

He could wait a little while. After all, Draco had promised him, and he'd yet to break a single promise. Harry relaxed onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling for a little while. He prayed silently that everything would be okay.

He hoped someone heard.

Xx-XxX-xX

"You guys really need to get out of here." Harry said to Ron and Hermione; the last of his friends that had bothered to stick around in the library with him.

"Harry, there's a Quidditch game between Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw going on right outside those windows." Ron said staring at Harry as though he'd lost his mind, "And you're going to sit in the _library_?"

Harry smiled a little and shook his head, "I just don't feel like watching the game today. It's not a big deal."

"It's a _damn_ big deal." Ron bit out, "The only time you ever missed a Quidditch game was the time you had the stomach flu so bad you couldn't take three steps without puking. And Madame Pomfrey had to _force_ you to stay inside." Ron continued.

"He's right," Hermione said touching his shoulder, "Is everything okay, Harry? You seem to be… feeling worse every day."

_That's because I'm counting them off and I don't really know how many I've got left before he's gone_.

"Honestly," Harry started knowing he being nothing but dishonest, "I just want some alone time. The entire school is gonna be out there watching. I'll finally have a chance to be alone; I haven't really had that in a while."

Ron sighed, "Well… whatever. I don't know what's bothering you, but you really need to pull your head out of you ass." The redhead replied before leaving. Harry just blinked staring after him.

Hermione shook her head, "He's worried about you."

Harry gave a short, bitter laugh, "Well that was a nice way of showing it."

"Harry, _I'm_ worried about you. You just haven't been the same since that day you came to lunch looking like someone had just crushed your dreams. I just wish you'd tal—"

"Stop it, Hermione." Harry interrupted, his voice dark, "I'm fine. Nothing's wrong. And even if something was, it wouldn't really be any of your damned business at this point." Harry snapped.

He felt the bushy haired girl recoil but he didn't regret what he'd said. He'd done that on purpose. He didn't really mean the words, but he wanted Hermione to go. And if upsetting her was enough to push her away, then that's what he'd do. He froze for a few seconds. That sounded… like something Draco would do. Wow… had the blond really changed him that much? A few lying lessons and suddenly he was a cold hearted Slytherin? Maybe the damned hat had been right all these years.

Hermione stood quickly and didn't bother pushing in her chair, "I'll talk to you when you come to your senses."

Harry didn't bother to tell her that wouldn't happen. When finally he heard the library door close behind her, he let out a sigh of relief. Now he was basically alone in the school. It was actually sort of nice. Harry usually preferred to be with a lot of people, like family gatherings with the Weasley's; crowded but cozy and fun. But he'd really learned the value of solitude over the years. Enough tragedy could do that to a person.

He thought back briefly to Cedric and Sirius. He was _not_ going to lose another person this year. Two years in a row was enough. He set about looking at his potions textbook and the few books for advanced potions theory he'd been able to find on this side of the restricted section. He didn't care what else happened, he was going to save Ginny, and he was going to save Draco. He didn't care what he had to do. The ends justify the means, right?

"Looks like I'm on time." Draco whispered softly, joining Harry at his table. It was one of the very back tables, obscured by a large shelf.

He was still sort of sickly weak looking from having been confined to his bed. And Harry knew he still randomly fell asleep for no reason at all. But Madame Pomfrey had released him anyway. That side effect would probably stick with him for the rest of his life. Harry sort of thought it was his just desserts for being silly enough to overdose on Dreamless Sleep. But he didn't say anything about it because last time he did, Draco had given him the 'death glare' and the cold shoulder for almost an hour. And every minute was precious now.

Draco stretched a little and moved his pale hair out of his eyes, "I saw Granger and Weasley stomping off down the corridor on my way here. I'm guessing you pissed them off?"

Harry smiled a little, "They want me to _open up to them_. And I'm being a stubborn prick as usual. What's new?"

Draco rolled his eyes before motioning to the sprawl of texts in front of Harry, "You tell me. What're we looking for?"

Harry shook his head and opened one of the potions theory books, "We're not looking for anything. We're trying to create an antidote for Ginny." Harry paused and tilted his hips up from his chair for a moment to dig in his pocket for a folded piece of parchment before he tossed it in front of Draco, "I'm pretty sure that's the potion that she drank."

Draco sat still for a few seconds before his long fingers unfolded the parchment so carefully it was like he were afraid it might bite him, "This is what you asked me here for…" he whispered but it wasn't a question so Harry didn't respond. Draco's face had gone slack, "Where did you get this?"

"I found it," Harry sighed as his eyes skimmed the words of the book explaining the dynamics of creating an entirely new potion from the ground up.

Draco let out the longest sigh, "Bloody fucking… Okay. Time for some god damn Gryffindor bravery." He muttered before poking Harry hard in the side.

Harry turned to look at him feeling slightly annoyed, "Are you gonna help or wha—"

Draco looked right into his eyes, "I made a promise didn't I? The truth. I'll tell you the truth. All of it."

Harry's eyes narrowed in suspicion for a moment before he nodded, "Alright. I'm listening."

Draco stared at Harry for about 30 seconds, his mouth opened multiple times as though he was trying to say something but couldn't decide how to start. Finally he just groaned as put his head in his hands, "This is way harder than I thought."

Harry was silent, wondering what Draco knew. He didn't want to expect the worst, but he didn't want to expect the best in case he'd have to face a big disappointment. So he calmed his mind entirely, not expecting anything. Just waiting for Draco to speak.

"Alright, just promise to listen to everything I have to say. Don't storm out halfway through. The last thing we need is more misunderstandings" Draco said still not looking him in the eye.

Harry crossed his arms over his chest and nodded, "I promise."

Draco looked away, "I… made the potion that Ginny drank."

Xx-xX

Draco winced at the way Harry's eyes widened. He knew he had to explain before he ended up getting the shit beat out of him, but he struggled with the words, "It's complicated. But I didn't poison her. She drank it herself to help me."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Harry asked. He didn't yell. His voice was rather subdued but his eyes were getting that strange dead look in them again. It was terrifying to Draco. Harry yelling was scary, but _this_ Harry was ten times worse.

"We talked about it. The Dark Lord wanted her out of the way. I wasn't going to kill her. So… she and I… sort of agreed to have her go to sleep for a little while." Draco said. He saw the flickers of anger on Harry's face when he referred to Voldemort as the Dark Lord.

"So you're the poisoner?" Harry asked.

Draco sighed, "I just told you: I only made the potion. She drank it."

Harry shook his head and looked away, "I… I want to believe you."

Draco could see the conflict of the Gryffindor's face. He knew Harry never took anything he said at face value anymore. But it wasn't exactly like Draco could blame him for that. In fact, he was kinda happy that Harry was slowly starting to understand that Draco was a born and raised liar. He just couldn't help it sometimes.

"I promise you Harry," Draco said daring to look straight into Harry's hardened eyes, "I did not poison her. She drank it herself."

Surprisingly, even though Draco had promised, Harry's eyes didn't soften, "Maybe that's because Collin Creevy convinced her it was safe?" He asked leaning away from Draco as though he smelled something foul, "I can't even _believe_ this right now Draco. All this time, it was you. What else are you hiding? Am _I_ next on your fucking hit list?"

Draco closed his eyes and locked away the anger that was threatening to burn through his skull and engulf him. Yelling wasn't going to help him, neither would storming out. He'd made Harry promise to sit and hear him out, and at least he was doing that that much. Draco wouldn't cowardly sneak off either.

"It was necessary." He whispered, "I don't expect you to understand. I could've killed her you know. That was what I was supposed to do. I spent fucking _months_ finding away to get around it. If I didn't do it, someone else who doesn't give a shit about her would."

Harry didn't look at him and didn't respond.

"Don't bother going through these books." Draco bit out, careful of the way his voice sounded, "I'm working on the antidote."

"I can't believe you would do that to her." Harry sighed, "Put her in a world of nightmares? That's just—"

"She's not." Draco smiled a little, "I made some changes. It was hard, but I had to make a version of the potion that wouldn't involve her suffering and would have an antidote. The original is permanent."

"I promised her I'd kill the fucker who poisoned her." Harry whispered.

Draco swallowed and looked away praying Harry wasn't talking about him, "Well, considering she drank it herself, I'm sure she'll understand if you don't keep that promise."

Harry looked over at him finally and Draco let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Harry's face had softened again, in fact his eyes looked a little wet. Draco didn't resist when Harry pulled him into his arms. In fact, he clung to him just as hard. He was actually pretty satisfied with how that went. He knew he had made Harry promise to stay and listen but honestly, he hadn't expected to boy to simply accept what he was saying so quickly. Yeah he'd gotten upset, but no more than could be expected.

"Is that it, Draco? Is that everything?" Harry whispered against his ear.

Draco sighed and looked away, "No." he answered as easily as he could, pretending not to hear the whimper in the back of Harry's throat. No, there was more... But that wasn't something he could talk to Harry about yet. He'd promised to tell him everything—and he would. But he hadn't said when…

After a few more long seconds Harry backed away, his eyes bright with what Draco thought was relief and excitement, "So you have the antidote for Ginny? Thank God!"

"Actually…" Draco started his voice low in shame, "I said I'm working on it."

The tiny smile that had managed to creep up on Harry's lips disappeared, "What does that mean? Is it difficult?"

Draco shook his head, "Not exactly. I've already got the antidote ready but I'm trying to make a better one. The antidote I have isn't exactly… foolproof."

"Draco," Harry said seriously, "We're being honest right now. So I'm gonna honestly tell you that I'm sick to fucking death of all these half lies and avoided truths. I know there's something you're trying to avoid telling me."

Draco looked up at him, trying not to feel like the terrible monster that he probably was, "I told Ginny that there's only a 70% chance of her living through the potion." Draco informed honestly. He hoped that's all Harry would ask but he could tell form the look on the brunette's face that he was expected to elaborate further, "But honestly... It only has about a 20-30% chance or so… That was the only lie I told her. And I only said it because I thought I could create a better antidote by now."

"What happens if it doesn't work? We just make another potion and try it again right?" Harry said obvious confusion in his voice.

Draco bit his lip, nearly gnawing on it to escape having to talk. Of course, it didn't work, "If it doesn't work, it'll kill her."

The calm on Harry's face seemed to freeze up again before quickly turning to anger, "So you're saying she's most likely gonna die if we try to wake her up? What happens if we leave her asleep?"

Draco frowned a little and ran one of his hands through his hair, "Well she'd be alive if that's what you mean. But after a while the antidote will become ineffective no matter how good I make it. And since I'm the only one who can, if I don't get it to her, she'll…"

"God, Draco. It just gets worse and worse. You're trying to just rip my heart out of my chest every time we talk, right?" Harry asked with a bit of bitter laughter, "Is that your intent every time you talk to me, because that's all you ever accomplish."

Draco looked away and out the window. He couldn't see much of the Quidditch pitch from here but he could distantly hear the screaming crowds. He didn't want to hear that he was breaking Harry's heart. Hell, he knew he was. He knew from the beginning that's the only thing he'd ever do for the Gryffindor really. He'd known that he'd love Harry just long enough to really hurt him when he finally had to leave. He'd known that but he hadn't been able to stop himself. At the time, he'd been thinking, a few months of total amazing happiness was worth it. He'd believed it would be better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. And he was selfish enough to want Harry even when he knew he couldn't keep him.

But now that it was nearing the end, he almost regretted staying. He almost regretted how much he allowed himself to love Harry. Because he'd been hurting Harry recently, watching the way he crumbled. If that was what he did to Harry just with some bad news, just with refusing to say he loved him, he didn't want to imagine what it'd be like when he was gone. It hurt him just to think what the look on Harry's face would be then. He wasn't going to break Harry's heart, he was going to fucking _pulverize_ it.

"Don't ignore me." Harry said with a frown, poking Draco in the side, "I'm not giving up. So you're gonna tell me everything you can about this antidote thingy and I'm gonna help you try to make it work better."

Draco sighed. God he was in love with boy who just refused to give up the hero complex. Even when Harry was falling apart in front of everyone's eyes, all he was doing was trying to help Ginny and trying to keep Draco safe. But what was he gonna do? It'd be wasting his breath to try and tell Harry not to. The last time he had told Harry to stop being a Hero… the idiot hadn't even known he could've just given up before he started. Anyone else in the world wouldn't bother risking their life to save so many people. But Harry was just fucked in the head, wasn't he? How else had he managed to fall in love with someone like Draco

And Draco was fucking in love with him, too. What had he done? His father'd been right. Draco was the biggest idiot in the world. He was his own worst enemy.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, before smiling a little at Harry and leaning in to softly kiss his cheek. Harry didn't refuse him. His face suddenly looked like he was in pain but he leaned in closer and claimed Draco's lips a few times.

"Let's do this," Draco whispered, "Let's save Ginny."

Xx-XxX-xX

Alright guys, that's your chap for this week. Leave me a review? Please? Pretty please with a cherry on top and come on your eyeb—

Whoops. Thinking of someone else. ^_^

Love you, Aeromance.

No but seriously guys, leave me a review.


	42. Chapter 42

Finally, this chapter is up. It is still unbeta'd because I wanted to post as soon as I finished it. I'll repost the beta'd version later.

I can't believe that the day I finally find time to finish and post this chap is a week before Christmas, and on my little sister's birthday no less. Crazy how things work out I guess.

Well at least, school's not in anymore. :]

No more homework and finals and all that stuff.

Also, just so you guys know I'm posting a bunch of other stories today too. More HP because I love this fandom. And a few others. You should totally check them out in your free time *shameless advertisement*

* * *

Chapter 42

Draco rapped quickly on the door to Snape's private quarters He'd just left the tower room after spending a few long, wonderful hours with Harry. It was a little after 3 in the morning, so he expected to have to wait for the man to get up. But surprisingly, the door was opened rather quickly.

"Hey Sev, I—seriously, what the hell is with the bunny slippers?"

Snape's face darkened considerably, "A gift." He murmured before backing away from the door so Draco could step inside.

Draco rolled his eyes and sat down at the table watching the last of the fire in the hearth flicker. He yawned and stretched out his back, leaning back in his chair a little.

"Isn't it nice how you seem to have just made yourself at home in _my_ room." Snape said bitterly sitting across from the table.

Draco shrugged, "Where else am I supposed to feel at home?"

Snape sighed but didn't comment on that, "Why are you here, Draco?"

"I need more dragon's blood and asphodel buds." Draco said in a very business like manner, "And a few mandrakes but I don't think Sprout will just let me go in and grab any."

Snape shook his head, "I can't continue to do this Draco. Some of the ingredients you're asking for could get you a few months in Azkaban just for unlawful possession."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. But it's a few months in Azkaban for possession or a decade or so for basically killing Ginny Weasley. If she doesn't get an antidote within the next 3 months she's gone forever." Draco replied staring Snape straight in the eyes.

It took a few minutes but Snape eventually gave in with a long sigh, "I can get you the asphodel buds and dragon's blood, but the only mandrake I have is dried and I'm sure you'll need it fresh. It may take me a day or so to convince Pomona to give me one."

Draco offered him a small smile, "So I'm thinking… maybe I could be a spy like you."

Snape frowned hard, "Draco…"

"I know it wouldn't be immediate. I've barely proven myself really… But I won't just let Harry die. I may be on the wrong side but I'm not going to let my side win." Draco said forcefully, hoping that Snape would understand.

"It will take years to get to the place that I am among Voldemort's ranks. You got a head start because of your father but you will be in no place to help anyone for a long time. But I will… help you." Snape face softened a little before hardening again; he obviously uncomfortable with caring about someone.

Draco smiled wider, "You're a damn good godfather, you know. I couldn't ask for better. Despite the bad attitude and the bunny slippers."

Snape glowered, "Get out."

Xx-xX

"Ah… it smells." Harry said covering his face and turning away.

Draco laughed at him but wrinkled his own nose at the smell of the potion bubbling merrily away in their cauldron, "Wimp."

"Shut up." Harry replied his voice muffled from behind his sleeve.

"Alright… pass me the dragon's blood now." Draco said holding out his hand while he continued to stir the potion.

"The real stuff or the powdered tree bark stuff?"

"Real." Draco specified, "Hurry. I have to add it now." Before he could even finish his sentence Harry had placed the vial in his hand.

Draco added 5 drops and watched the color of the potion carefully. It turned pearly white and Draco immediately put out the fire. He watched the potion for a few minutes looking for any changes. It stopped boiling and the surface shimmered slightly in the moonlight of the tower room. He sighed and looked over at Harry who had finally taken his hand away from his face.

"At least it doesn't smell anymore." He whispered, "Will it work?"

Draco sighed, "Well it should, at least a little better. But potions in theory and potion in practice are slightly different. There are a few ways to find out but the only way to do it without killing anything is to mix this one with my modified nightmare elixir and see how they react."

Harry nodded and watched closely as Draco pulled a small vial out from his robes. Its silvery color shone even brighter in the light of the moon. Draco pulled out a piece of blank parchment and dripped a few drops of the silver potion onto it. The paper absorbed some of it but most of the silver potion beaded at the surface. He then picked up an eyedropper and squeezed out a few drops of the antidote onto it. It smoked for a minute before the silver potion slowly started to be absorbed by the antidote. Harry smiled a little thinking this was probably good. But Draco's face didn't change, he continued only to observe.

After few more seconds the potion began to darken a little before it quickly burned through the paper. Draco sighed and stood cursing and kicking one of the cushions from the window seat.

Harry sighed too, "I'm guessing that means it doesn't work."

"It might." Draco whispered darkly, "But for it to react like that on the first try doesn't bode well about its chances."

Harry nodded and stood before going to Draco's side, pulling the blond into his arms, "Hey, it's okay. We... We can try again."

Draco shook his head, "I've been trying and trying… I just don't think there's a way to better the antidote. I… I should've known better about all of this. I'm an idiot. And now I'm probably a murderer too."

"Shh… Don't talk like that." Harry whispered lightly kissing Draco's soft blond hair.

Draco scoffed and halfheartedly pushed him away, "Whatever. I know you're still pissed at me. You don't just let go of a vow for murder in a few hours. So don't lie and try to comfort me."

Harry sighed and let him go watching as Draco sat down on the window seat and put his head in his hands. Harry sat down next to him but didn't say anything for a while. He wanted to think the words over in his head for a second to make sure he didn't say something that would only make it worse.

"Draco…" He started slowly, "Yeah. I'm still a little upset about all of this, but it obvious you didn't want to hurt her. And Ginny trusted you. I'm only angry because no one around here tells me anything."

"You know I want to." Draco muttered, his face still in his hands, "But I promise Harry, if I could tell you, I would."

"I just don't understand _why_. Why can't you?" Harry asked grabbing one of Draco's hands and pulling it away from his face.

Draco sighed and looked up at Harry, annoyed that he'd been pulled from his melodrama, "I'll tell you when I can, okay?" He offered quickly.

Harry frowned but nodded. He opened his arms signaling Draco to come closer and the blond obeyed quickly, snuggling into Harry's chest. They sat still for a long while and Draco was absentmindedly playing with Harry's hand. Harry had already closed his eyes and felt a few days worth of fatigue falling on him all at once as Draco's warmth sank into him.

Harry let himself lay back and Draco went with him half laying on his chest. It was silent for a little while before Draco whispered, "I must not tell lies…?"

"Hmm?" Harry asked his eyes already closed.

"What is this on your hand, Harry?" Draco asked looking up at Harry's face.

"Oh." Harry said realizing what Draco was talking about, "They're just old scars Draco. Nothing important."

"You did this to yourself?" Draco asked his voice much softer now but his eyes never leaving Harry's face.

"It was Umbridge. Last year when I was in detention, she made me write lines with this weird pen that used my blood as ink."

Draco's face scrunched up, "You didn't tell anyone? I'm pretty sure that's not legal."

Harry rolled his eyes, "She was from the ministry, and at the time I was being slandered as a liar. I'm pretty sure if I'd tried to fight her over it, she would've won. Doesn't matter though, it's over, alright?"

Draco sighed and nodded, "Just don't be so stupid about things like that in the future. You've got a serious problem with trying to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders and never asking for help."

Harry shrugged, not willing to argue over it. He did ask for help sometimes, from Ron or Hermione. But he could kind of see Draco's point. They lay there for a little longer and Harry's thoughts started to drift. He almost wanted to sleep. But then he sort of didn't, he had a bad feeling that if he went to sleep, Draco would get up and continue working on the potion by himself. Pfft, and he talks about Harry never asking for help…

"Hey… uh, Draco?" Harry asked not sure if the blond had actually gone to sleep or not.

"Mmff…" was Draco's only reply, but Harry accepted that to mean he was at least semi-conscious.

"Do you remember, our first night here?" Harry asked slipping his hand out of Draco's lax ones to softly stroke his glistening platinum hair.

Draco chuckled and moved a little, opening his eyes again, "Barely. I really was drunk, you know. I know we had sex. But the details escape me."

Harry smiled in return remembering just how bad his head had hurt the next day until he'd convinced Hermione to give him that hangover potion, "Well… I was thinking about it yesterday. Can I ask you something?"

Draco gave a short sigh, "Is there any question you can't ask me? Even if I said no, you'd probably ask anyway."

Ignoring Draco's rude tone Harry asked, "Why did you kiss me?"

The room got totally quiet, even their breaths nearly inaudible. After a few more minutes of absolute silence Harry poked Draco none too gently.

"Draco?" he asked knowing the blond wasn't asleep.

Draco started slowly, "Well…You're hot, first of all. And I was drunk, and you looked like you needed it. And I'd sort of hadacrushonyou. And I'd just found out I'd have to become a Death Eater and this was my last year here. So I figured… Why the hell not? I didn't expect it to lead to this though." He finished in a rush, his words coming so quick it took Harry a moment to realize what he'd said.

"You thought I was hot?"

Draco rolled his eyes and looked up at Harry, "Have you looked in the mirror anytime in that last two years or so?"

"You had a crush on me?"

Draco glared a little but the tint on his cheeks gave away his embarrassment, "Well! Not really. I mean I didn't know you at all. But I know hotness when I see it. Don't read too much into it."

Harry smiled, "I don't see why you're embarrassed. It just means I was slow in realizing how perfect you are for me. And you were one step ahead, as usual."

"Ugh. The sugary Gryffindor sweetness again. Someone give me an anti-cavity charm." Draco muttered and Harry laughed harder.

"Deal with it." he responded softly before gently kissing Draco's forehead, "I'm glad you decided to. I never would've gotten all of this if you hadn't"

Draco frowned up at him before looking away and resting his head on Harry's chest again, "Shouldn't you regret that I did then? You wouldn't have to be dealing with so much."

It was Harry's turn to roll his eyes, "Bullshit. Voldemort would've given you the same orders, you still would've become a Death Eater. I just wouldn't have gotten all the wonderful time in between."

Draco mumbled under his breath for a few seconds before he sighed, "I…I thought I was going to die."

"What?" Harry asked sitting up a little more to listen more intently.

"The reason I kissed you. I was so sure I would die that I… But it's alright now. Things finally seem to be looking up. Sort of." Draco groaned and snuggled back down into Harry's chest, "I want sleeeeep."

"Yeah, alright. Just rest, Draco." Harry spoke softly stroking the boy's slightly disheveled hair.

He listened to the Slytherin's breath evening out and tried not to think to hard about the things Draco told him. They usually depressed him and distracted him from the things that were most important. He was getting more and more stressed as the days counted down to the very last. There were so few left… He just wanted to relax, and hold Draco like they'd never have to part.

Xx-XxX-xX

Draco drummed his fingers anxiously on his desk while sitting through an Arithmancy lesson. Not that it was really a lesson. Finals were over, there was nothing else to do and so mostly they sat around and had free time or did a few "fun" Arithmancy based games. Three days left until the last day. Three short, short days.

And Draco didn't have a better cure for Ginny, no plans for his mission, and no plans for his future. He was constantly on edge. He knew that any moment could be _the_ moment. The moment when his world came crashing down around him. What should he do? What _could_ he do? The most rational and least hazardous to his health was obvious to him. But he didn't know if he actually had the strength to do it.

The wisest choice, the choice that gave him about a 90% chance of surviving the war was to leave and join up with Voldemort without doing any spying or trying to help Harry's side at all. It was the choice he would've made had he not been stupid and literally started sleeping with the enemy. Although he basically would have very little choice over which side won, either way he was safe. If the Dark Lord won, he would be safe for obvious reasons. If Harry won, he would still most likely be safe because the boy just so happened to be in love with him. But even if he wasn't, he knew Harry's side of the war in general was less vicious and more forgiving. They'd be more likely to just give him a few years in Azkaban than kill him. And he knew Azkaban would be virtually a paradise compared to the conditions prisoners of war would suffer at the hands of Voldemort.

The second choice still had about a 75% survival rate, and that was to leave, join up with Voldemort and smuggle important info out to the Order of the Phoenix. It would be tricky, but he would be in high standing with both sides, well trusted by both leaders and he could more directly influence which side would win. He would still be generally be safe no matter which side won, but he could also actively try to help Harry.

His third and final choice was to ignore both his better judgment and his mother's last words and stay with Harry. It might not be so bad, considering he knew a little about the Dark Lord's plans already and had been trained in many high skill hexes that would be helpful in battle. But, joining Harry's side would mean that he would absolutely not be able to kill Dumbledore. Which meant that Snape would die. That would leave the Order of the Phoenix without its spy and therefore blind to any and all of Voldemort's plans. Draco's father would probably be killed also for making false promises about Draco's loyalty. Not that he particularly cared. But he knew if push come to shove, the Malfoy name was more important than Voldemort, and his father would likely help him if it meant more power or affluence. Without him, there wouldn't even be a possible correspondent in Voldemort's ranks. But, Dumbledore would be alive, and he was an amazing asset.

So… what to do? The best choice of course was the second one. Though he had a higher chance of dying, he wouldn't be totally abandoning Harry and he might really be able to make a difference in the war. But… he'd have to kill Dumbledore. Could he do it? Could he really kill a man? And could he leave Harry for however long it took to finish this damned war? He didn't know…

On a positive note though, he finally had that damn vanishing cabinet fixed. So when it came time to choose, he'd be equipped for any choice he made.

But what about his promise to Harry? He'd promised to tell the Gryffindor everything. Would he… Would Draco break a promise for the first time in his life?

The blond groaned and let his head hit the desk. Luckily, many others in the class also had their heads down out of sheer boredom so he didn't stand out too much. But he really couldn't believe he'd promised such a thing. At the time he was just so consumed with his feelings for Harry and the invincibility of youth. And he wanted so badly to be the kind of person who really _could_ always tell the truth and never hide things. He wanted to deserve Harry so badly that he'd forgotten what his situation really was. And so now, he didn't know what to do. Three days left. Just three.

Draco walked around in a haze for hours, totally lost in his indecision. He _knew_ what he should do. But he didn't think he could do it. It would involve leaving Harry for possibly years until he was high enough in the ranks of the Death Eaters to be able to sneak away and give information. And he'd have to be trusted enough by Voldemort to even have good information to give.

He couldn't go two days without seeing the Gryffindor before he started to get anxious and depressed. How would he feel after 6 months? A year? Two or even _three_ Harry-less years? He didn't know if he could cope. But even that wasn't as daunting as his biggest challenge.

Finding the courage to leave in the next three days. To look Harry in the face tonight and not be sure whether he should tell him he was leaving or conveniently avoid the subject. But he'd promised to tell him everything. How could he possible look in to Harry's trusting, loving eyes and tell him that he was going to kill Dumbledore, a man whom Harry deeply cared for, _and_ that he was going to leave and might not be back for a very long time?

Well he couldn't tell him about killing Dumbledore. Not yet at least…

Draco snapped his fingers and finally looked up from where he'd been moodily staring at his dinner. He'd found the clause in his promise! He'd promised to tell Harry everything, but he never said when. He could tell him _after_, when the decision were made and deeds were done and Harry couldn't try to stop him.

Alright, so that was one problem ironed out. Now, option 2 was not only the most logical and least problem causing, it was also entirely possible.

But… In his heart, he didn't want to do it. The emotions and honor Harry had taught him to feel wanted him to stay here. He knew it was stupid. But it was honorable, wasn't it? He didn't want to be like Snape, under so many different spells to ensure loyalty and he was constantly being pulled in two different directions. Constantly in pain and faced with tough decisions. He didn't want to end up like that. He was sick of straddling the fence. He wanted to pick a fucking side and stick to it. And he wanted to stay by Harry's side. He wanted, for once, to see Harry be proud of him instead of disappointed.

So, logic or emotion? Love or consequence? Which one, which one…

Draco suddenly saw that Harry was signaling to him. Staring intently at his face and twirling his spoon between his fingers. Draco's brows furrowed as he tried to divine what Harry was trying to tell him. The Gryffindor smiled when he realized he'd finally gotten Draco's attention. He then promptly stood up and walked out of the Great Hall. Draco sank a little into his seat. Something urgent?

He waited for exactly three minutes and 42 seconds before he claimed he had to go to the bathroom and followed Harry. His eyes flickered around in search of that dark mop of hair as he walked down the corridor.

"Draco."

Draco whipped around in the direction of the voice but saw nothing. He took a few cautious steps back already reaching for his wand before he heard laughter.

"Don't hex me!" Harry whispered as he pulled the hood off of his invisibility cloak.

Draco sighed and crossed his arms, "Trying to scare me again I assume. You've got some real issues with that don't you?"

Harry smiled, "I can't help it. You're so cute when you're startled."

Draco's eyes narrowed even further in annoyance, "Do you mind taking that thing off. I'd prefer not to talk to a disembodied head.

Harry pulled off his invisibility cloak and lead Draco down a darker less used hallway, "Sorry about that. But I really do have something pretty important to tell you. We'll need to meet in the tower room a little earlier than usual. Maybe around 9-ish."

Draco grabbed Harry's shoulder to stop him from walking ay further, "Why?" He asked instinctually fearing the answer before he even knew what it was.

"Dumbledore and I are going to go and get a Horcrux tonight. He was going to do it himself—I _asked_ him to do it himself so that I would have more time with you, but he said that he'll probably be in a weakened state after getting it and needs me to help him get back to the castle. He's apparating us out from the astronomy tower. So he needs me to help him get to his office when we return. Madame Pomfrey will be there waiting with a potion to help him and—"

"Harry!" Draco interrupted, "You're rambling. It's alright we'll just have to meet a little earlier. What did you think I would say? 'No you have to let Dumbledore suffer through on his own so you have more time to fuck me.'? I understand you've got things to do."

Harry smiled and scratched his head a little, "Yeah I guess you're right. So I'll see you around 9?"

Draco smiled a little and nodded before pulling Harry into a soft kiss, gently holding the sides of his face. It was meant to be quick, but once the kiss was started Draco couldn't end it. All of his worries, all of his anxiety poured out of him and he didn't want to let go. His fingers dug into Harry's skin in his desperation. He felt Harry's confusion but luckily the boy only continued to kiss him instead of pulling away to question him. When they broke for the first time, Draco was so overwhelmed at the sight of a flushed, breathless Harry that he dove right back in for another sweetly passionate kiss. There was no hungry, lustful fire in their kiss, only love and fear and lingering sadness. He just wanted Harry to feel how much he loved him and how scared he was to leave him, even for a little while.

Harry pulled away chuckling softly, "Okay, okay. Calm down Draco. Dumbledore and I won't take long. I'll see you again after anyway. I mean… we've got a few days left, don't we?"

Draco tried not to feel the guilt gnawing at the pit pf his stomach. A few days left until he shattered everything they'd built, "Right. Yeah I'll see you at 9."

Draco leaned down and kissed Harry's cheek once, before waving and heading back to the Great Hall to finish his dinner.

Xx-XxX-xX

Draco was a tiny bit late for his meeting with Harry, but no more than a few minutes. Still, it was different than usual for him. He opened the door and felt a tremble of magic in the air. His brows furrowed in confusion for a moment, but the sight of Harry sitting at the window seat wiped his mind clear.

The boy apparently hadn't heard the door, probably too wrapped up in his own thoughts. He was sitting parallel to the window, his profile mirrored back to him in the frosty colored glass. Draco couldn't help but smile. How odd was it that just last summer the thought of the boy before him would have made him sick to his stomach with hatred and jealousy. Draco hadn't ever thought he'd be one of those fools who ended up totally changed by "love". But very suddenly, so many things he'd scoffed at in the past made sense to him.

He gently closed the door behind him and the sound finally attracted Harry's attention. The Gryffindor smiled widely at him and held out an arm to invite Draco to his side. Draco quickly accepted the offer; snuggling in close to Harry's side, warmed by his body heat and comforted by his gentle touch and familiar smell.

"Took you long enough." Harry muttered, though it was obvious he was joking.

Draco rolled his eyes, "I was, what? All of three minutes late. But you're right. Forgive me oh great Gryffindor, I know how short your attention span is. It must've been hell for you to wait for me."

"It was." Harry shot back quickly, "You have no idea."

Draco smiled a little and pressed his lips to Harry's temple, "I think I just might. But anyway, I'm here now, aren't I. So you should start making the best of it."

"And you call me impatient." Harry smirked slightly.

"Ugh, new rule, Gryffindors do _not_ smirk. Don't try it again or I'll either burst out laughing or lose my dinner all over you lap." Draco teased in the most serious voice he could manage. He was barely able to keep a straight face with the bright laughter in Harry's eyes.

"If talking about vomit is your way of trying to turn me on I think you need a bit more practice with romance."

Finally unable to reign in his smile Draco shoved Harry playfully, "Oh shut up."

Harry laughed and at the sound, Draco had to join him; Harry's laughter was infectious to him.

"It feels good to talk like this. It seems like everything has been so… sad recently." Harry sighed softly contentment obvious in his voice.

Draco felt a hand wander into his hair and he nuzzled towards it, loving the act of affection, "You're right. It is good to talk like this. I've certainly missed it."

Harry made a sound that was somewhere between a grunt and a sigh. Draco took it be either another sign of contentment or a sound of agreement. It didn't really matter either way. They were finally together and comfortable and happy. One might think such a thing was impossible at this time. What with a mere 50 hours or so left of time together, the lack of a better cure for one of Harry's best friends, and the fact that Harry would be trekking out with Dumbledore to Merlin only knows where to find a Horcrux.

Yes, this wasn't exactly the most logical moment for them to be feeling loving and happy and at peace with the world. But somehow they did. After all this room had always been neutral. Anything and everything pertaining to the war really didn't matter. Not here.

Draco's hands started to wander a little, though the motion wasn't yet sexual. He was more just _feeling_. Feeling Harry's warmth and perfection and beauty beneath his fingertips. This was his. It was a strange feeling. Not at all overly possessive or objectifying. Draco was awed, this body, this boy, this heart belonged to him of all people. What the hell had he ever done to deserve it? Nothing, that's what.

But Harry didn't withhold a single part of himself. Draco smiled feeling so amazingly…_Lucky_. What other word was there for it? So few people in the world ever found love at all, let alone true love. And even when they did, it couldn't have been with anyone as amazing as Harry was. There was no one like him in the entire universe, and somehow, for some reason Draco couldn't even fathom, he was the one who got him.

Filled with sudden affection Draco reached up and very gently guided Harry's face towards his. He stared just enjoying the absolute lack of stress he was feeling at the moment and though after a few seconds he could tell his unwavering gaze was beginning to make Harry slightly uncomfortable, he couldn't help it. He felt twinges of embarrassment as his inner monologue began to take a rather cliché turn; going on about eyes and souls and hearts and love. But again, it was something he just couldn't help.

Harry raised his eyebrows at the drawn out silence, "Uh…something in my teeth?"

Draco had to work hard to resist the urge to roll his eyes again. He did that much too often when in the presence of his occasionally oblivious lover.

He kissed Harry again, somehow drawing such a great amount of pleasure a shudder flew down his spine. He smiled when he backed away. What an odd time for him to feel guilt free.

Harry's eyes were still closed from the kiss, obviously savoring it as his breath whispered in and out of his parted lips, "You're in an amazing mood aren't you?"

"The best." Draco replied, "Well actually… that's a lie." Draco corrected slowly, looking away for a moment.

Harry's eyes finally opened, "What is it? What's wrong?"

Draco smiled to himself, "You're a bit too clothed for my tastes, that's all."

Now it was time for Harry to roll his eyes, "We can never keep it PG-13 in here can we?"

Draco quirked his head to the side, "Why should we bother trying. We… well. We love each other don't we?"

Harry's mouth went slack for a moment before his face lit up into the most beatific smile Draco had ever seen in his life. Harry's hands grabbed at him and pulled him into a hasty sloppy kiss that ended up traveling all over his face, from his lips to his cheeks to his forehead and everything in between.

"Yes, Draco." Harry answered, "Yes we do."

Draco accepted the kisses. Even though he hadn't exactly said that he loved Harry, he'd implied it. And that apparently was enough.

"You're right." Harry suddenly said backing away and nearly ripping the clothes from his body, "I'm much to clothed. You transfigure the bed?"

Draco shook his head as he began unhurriedly unbuttoning his own shirt, "We don't need one. Right here by the window is fine."

"You're just lazy." Harry muttered as he threw his shoes in some random direction.

"Guilty as charged." Draco replied with his classic smirk, the one he knew Harry loved to devour right off of his face.

Like clockwork, Harry growled softly and grabbed him, kissing the smirk away quite enthusiastically. Draco felt insistent hands tugging at his belt and he knew exactly what Harry was planning on doing. Just the thought had him moaning out loud.

Harry's hands deftly unbuckled and unbuttoned until he was able to pull off Draco's pants, leaving him entirely bare. Draco shivered a bit from the sudden chill of the room, a stark contrast to the heat of Harry's hands as they traveled up his thighs. Seeing Harry's wild lustful eyes as they danced across his bare skin, Draco reached out and touched his face.

"Hey." He whispered to get his attention, making darkened emerald eyes shoot up to meet his, "No need to hurry." Draco chuckled as he stroked Harry's soft cheek.

Harry let out a long breath and nodded, "Right, yeah." He murmured before he slowly leaned down to place a few soft kisses just above Draco's knee.

Harry worked slowly up Draco's leg, drawing out the moment before he finally grabbed hold of his cock. Draco closed his eyes and swallowed thickly as vivid memories of what was to come flooded his mind. Still, the memories were somehow not as potent as the real thing. And when Harry's mouth closed over the head of his cock for the first time that evening, every muscle in his body tightened for a moment. Then the pleasure overtook his senses. His head fell back against the window and he spread his legs wider, allowing Harry's hands more room to explore.

And explore they did, retracing paths that had been taken before and discovering new ones as well. Harry's rough fingers touched everywhere they could reach, stroking, stretching, squeezing. Draco's nerve endings rejoiced, sending lightning bolts of pleasure through his body. And then Harry was sucking him in farther and Draco slid down that hot, pulsating throat and couldn't hold back his moan of ecstasy.

He could feel Harry moaning through his mouthful and the feelings it caused were just too much too quick. Draco wanted tonight to last a little. He reached down and grabbed to handfuls of thick, unruly hair and pushed Harry away. Harry, though confused and a little put out at being stopped from continuing one of his favorite activities, reluctantly let Draco slip back out of his mouth.

"What is it?" He asked reaching up to wipe his shiny bottom lip.

Draco swallowed around his shuddering breath and shook his head, "That's not the way I want it tonight. You know what I want…"

"As always. You're a shameless bottom, you know. I don't know how you hid it for so long." Harry teased as he placed a firm hand on Draco's chest and pushed him down onto his back.

Instead of the usual clever comeback Draco just shrugged, "You know what? You're actually right."

"For once?" Harry muttered into his neck as his nipped at it with his full lips.

Draco squirmed a little at the ticklish sensation but nodded, "For once. Don't get used to it though."

"Shut up so I can fuck you." Harry growled out lowly and Draco felt strong surges of longing in the bottom of his stomach. That sounded so _good_.

He didn't say another word, fully obeying Harry's command and allowed the other boy to maneuver his body into the correct position. He held his legs behind the knee to be helpful as Harry cast the lubricating charm coating his inner channel with warm oil. Just hearing the word made Draco's muscles quake with anticipation. Harry only stretched him with two fingers, apparently impatient. But Draco's body was accustomed to taking Harry now and he doubted there would be much of an issue.

Draco's sight was a bit hazy as he gazed up at his lover. Harry's face was dark, his features shadowed by the bright silver lighting behind him, making the tips of his wild hair glow with an ethereal light.. He looked amazing, and Draco was moaning softly and moving his hips upwards trying to coax him inside. He didn't want to wait, but Harry seemed content to just stare and softly stroke his body from head to toe, watching every shudder and flicker of emotion on his face.

Draco frowned at this and pushed his hips up more insistently, wordlessly demanding for Harry to begin. The Gryffindor smiled and kissed his lips as he thrust forward, easily slipping in halfway. Draco gasped and groaned Reaching his long arms up to hold onto Harry as the next thrust fully impaled him. All sense and language left him in those few seconds. He couldn't do more than writhe and moan and hope Harry understood that was his way of begging for more.

He heard Harry's few gasps as well before the boy became almost uncharacteristically silent. Draco would've asked if he was okay, but every particularly deep thrust was punctuated by a throaty moan from Harry. Other than that, there was only the sound and feeling of his hot, moist breath heaving in and out of his soft lips. Draco let his fingers dig into Harry's skin, loving the feeling of just being with him. Of holding Harry in his arms, and knowing that for this moment, neither of them was going anywhere.

The pace Harry set up was slow but very deep and lingering. Draco's muscles were already clenching around the large intrusion, hugging it tightly. It felt so god damn perfect. He vaguely registered that even though he didn't seem to have the mental capacity for words, his mouth was proudly repeating his inner mantra right into Harry's ear.

"Deeper. Ah! So good… More. Please."

Something along the lines of that. But he couldn't exactly be sure, his mind was more directly connected to his groin and less to his mouth at this moment. He could feel the tight muscles in Harry's body flexing under the strain of the pleasure. Draco couldn't help but continue to press his lips to every bit of Harry he could find. His neck, his jaw his soft lips and cheeks. His skin was heated and tasted a bit salty when his tongue occasionally flicked out. He felt dizzy and wasn't aware of any other part of the world except for what existed right here. Hell, this _was_ the world. Draco's entire world was right here and if he could stay the way he was right now, he'd never need anything beyond it.

Harry's cock was rubbing relentlessly against his prostate causing waves of fire to crash over him again and again. Draco couldn't breathe, he was so overwhelmed by his emotions and the pleasure that refused to stop assaulting his mind.

He'd never felt closer to Harry than this moment. It was breathtakingly perfect and he couldn't have asked for anything better. His legs wrapped around Harry's hips, locking at the ankles and trying to pull his lover in closer. His heart was pounding away loudly in his chest his muscles were jumping in anticipation of the orgasm that was sure to come but not yet wanted. No, Draco wanted this to last longer though he was afraid he might nor be able to hold on. Already he felt as though he was floating—no more like he was rocketing through space.

Harry's lips worked insistently at Draco's neck, his warm hands held tight to Draco's slim hips, and his cock continued at the pace already established only on occasion driving deeper and pulling a tortured moan from Draco's lips. The heat from their physical union was mounting and reaching it's climax. Draco could feel the tingles of magic along his skin, but it seemed to simply be permeating through the room, filling his chest with some inexplicable feeling. And then more pressing sensations fully took over his mind.

Draco's entrances was tight and pulsing, his cock was hard and needy but his hands had nearly forgotten to touch it. He reached down, his own cool fingers trailing along his belly before he grabbed hold of himself and started stroking. He could tell Harry was close. Beneath his hands, Harry's muscles were trembling with both restraint and pleasure. The Gryffindor's breathing became more and more labored and he was whispering sweet nonsensical nothings into Draco's ear. Harry's calloused palms trailed up and down Draco's body from his face to his thighs and back again. He tried to keep pace with Harry, he really did. But he was so desperate for the fruition of their act that eventually his hand started harshly pumping his organ until he simply couldn't take anymore. Harry's thrusts too, picked up speed, just a little.

Draco thought he may have warned Harry of his imminent release but knowing he was prone to babbling just before orgasm he could never quite be sure. His body drew taut as a bow string before his orgasm let loose. It was the strangest one he'd had yet in that he didn't feel as though it simply barreled out of him and left him empty. But filled his entire body to the brim with more than jus fire. His hips continued their upwards thrusting until his convulsions finally stopped.

With a final groan, Harry too reached his completion, tightening and spilling his seed into Draco's welcoming body. Harry slipped out easily, but for his seemingly normal orgasm he was breathing very heavily and clinging tight to Draco.

Draco didn't let go of Harry either. Though It was May, it was an unseasonably chilly night and the warmth they created and shared was the only thing keeping him from shivering. Eventually, after many long moments of afterglow, Harry grabbed his wand and sleepily mumbled some cleaning charms at them both. His heavy lidded bright green eyes flicked up to Draco's face.

"Shall I transfigure the bed then?" he asked calmly, almost not acknowledging the fact their love making seemed slightly eye opening for them both.

Draco nodded absently and turned to the window staring out at the grounds below. The hills rolled, the lake sat placid, the forest stood tall and strong. His eyes wandered over familiar landmarks, recalling memories of his past 6 years spent in this place. He felt oddly… grown up. It was very strange. He didn't feel like a student, or a boy. He didn't even feel like the "man" he fancied himself to be. He felt settled. He knew he would never be the type to cheat on Harry. He was in love, simple as that. And while others his age were running from commitment as they would the hounds of hell, he was comfortable in it. He smiled to himself as he pictured that far off imaginary home he and Harry had created. He would never want anything more. Damn he had it bad, didn't he? Why did it take him so long to truly realize it? He only vaguely heard Harry casting the spell and asking him to come to bed.

Draco was a little shocked when he turned to look. The bed was not overly lavish and huge like it usually was. It was smaller, softer, cozier. Harry pulled back the covers and was already climbing in as Draco scrambled to follow, happy for the warmth. They lay apart for a moment, barely touching, but facing each other. Harry's eyes had slipped closed but the tension between his eyebrows was proof of his wakefulness. Draco smiled a little and prodded the boy's shoulder.

"You're not asleep." Draco announced knowingly.

"Mm-how would you know?" Harry replied in a voice that seemed more purposefully slurred.

"Because I know everything. Haven't we gone over this? And why are you all the way over there?"

Harry smiled and scooted closer, draping and arm across Draco's waist, "I love you."

Draco's grin widened and he moved closer to his lover, planting a kiss on his cheek as he did so. He felt so… naked. And not in the literal sense of the word. He felt bared before Harry, closer than he'd felt to…well anyone, in his entire life. But it wasn't scary. He was beyond being scared of such a thing. He wasn't scared of being close, of being committed.

He was scared of losing it all. Scared to death…

"Harry." He whispered, his voice seemingly afraid to break the silence.

"Hm?" Harry answered, one eye popping open to look at him again.

"I think…I don't know…" Draco started, not sure what he was going to say, "That was amazing. The sex I mean. Different than usual."

Harry raised an eyebrow, "Well that's a delayed response if I've ever seen one."

Draco pursed his lips, "I mean it."

Harry sighed softly and smiled, "Yeah. I agree. Felt a little on the short side, but it's not the sex that matters. It's being with you like this."

"Like what? Sleepy, naked and disheveled? Maybe it's just me but I'm not seeing the appeal of that." Draco teased.

"No, Draco." Harry replied in a serious voice, "Lying here with you, loving you with all my heart and getting to hold you in my arms. For a minute I can almost pretend it's not a secret. That the war isn't going to take over both of our lives very soon. For a minute, I can picture us, married, at peace with the world and everyone in it. Holding each other because our love hasn't dimmed in the slightest and never will."

Draco stared at his lover's sleepy face. Harry's eyes were closed but Draco felt the power and honesty of his words. He smiled a little and relaxed into Harry, closing his own eyes and picturing it. A small cottage somewhere far away. A dusty old flat hidden in between the homes of muggles. Anywhere… Home was anywhere that Harry was. And from there he pictured them married and loving each other. Their mundane daily activities and their little displays of unquestionable affection and caring. Harry'd make him breakfast, and Draco'd help Harry as he struggled to comb his hair and keep his tie exactly straight. He could see it, in the distant future. Growing old with him, and it wasn't a daunting or unwelcome notion. He wanted it.

He lay there for what seemed like forever, drifting in and out of sleep, still thinking of the future that would never be. Before finally Harry heaved a very heavy sigh and sat up. Draco still clung to him, not totally willing to let go yet.

"I have to go. It's getting late and I'll probably want a shower before I go to help Dumbledore." Harry said stretching out his shoulders.

Draco pouted and reluctantly let go of Harry's warm naked body, "Right." He mumble, obviously not too happy about the situation.

Harry gently stroked his hair and bent to kiss his forehead, "Don't worry love, I'll be back soon. We've still got a few nights left."

Draco nodded and sat up, "I'll miss you while you're gone."

"It's just a few hours Draco, really." Harry was already up and pulling on his clothes.

Draco followed, standing and reaching up towards the ceiling in a long stretch. He felt Harry's eyes on him and he smirked to himself in satisfaction. He was glad Harry was getting a nice few of his bare arse. Hopefully it'd have him coming back to him very, very soon.

He turned to see Harry slack jawed, his eyes already glazed over. Draco smirked in perfect Malfoy fashion and strutted past Harry to bend low and pick up his pants, "You should hurry and get dressed." He drawled slowly, "Wouldn't want to keep Dumbledore waiting, now would we?"

Harry chuckled a little, "You can be so…"

Draco turned to look at Harry as he buttoned up his fly, "Sexy? Alluring? Amazing? Charming? Incredible?"

"I was going to say infuriating. But I think all of those adjectives fit."

Draco mock pouted, "Including infuriating?"

Harry grinned and moved to plant a kiss on Draco's cheek, "Including infuriating."

Draco smiled and was about to say something before a loud bell sound interrupted him. Harry sighed and moved to pick up his wand, from which the sound originated. He cast a spell and the sound stopped.

"My alarm. Sorry." He said.

"So I surmised." Draco shrugged, "What an annoying sound though. You won't be using that when we live together. I think I'll just wake you up with a blow job every morning."

Harry smiled wide, "Live together?"

Draco's smile fell a little and he looked at Harry seriously, "…It won't be anytime soon but, hopefully."

Harry didn't seem at all disappointed that it wouldn't be happening anytime soon. He was ecstatic that Draco acknowledged it could happen in the future at all. He finished buttoning the last button on his shirt and pulled Draco into a warm hug, kissing him soundly. Draco struggled to free his hands from where they were trapped between their chests, as soon as he did, he wrapped his arms around Harry, returning the kiss with the same amount of love and enthusiasm. He did want a future with him, and he didn't care what anyone else said. He loved this boy.

A small sound distracted Draco and he pulled out of the kiss slowly, "You really do need to get dressed." He whispered.

"Yeah, yeah…" Harry sighed backing away and picking up his tie.

Draco smiled at the thought of straightening it every morning and making sure Harry didn't accidentally dip it in his coffee before work ran back through his mind. He smiled and shook his head. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something and turned to look at it fully. He gasped when he realized what it was.

The window. He moved towards it, to examine it more closely. There was a crack, only about 5 inches long, but it shone brighter than the rest of the window around it. He felt Harry's eyes following him, reacting to his gasp. The Gryffindor moved to his side, and looked at the crack as well.

"What the…" Harry trailed off.

Draco reached out and touched it once, "Weird…" he muttered, "Maybe a bird ran into it?"

"Don't you think we would've heard that?" Harry asked.

Draco shrugged and pulled his robes on, "It is weird…I'll try to repair it later I guess."

Harry nodded absently, his eyes still on the crack in the window, "Well…yeah. You'll be able to fix it, I'm sure."

Draco nodded and straightened Harry's robes a little before tucking his locket inside his shirt. He pulled Harry into another warm hug, "Alright, go. You'll be late if you stall anymore."

Harry pressed a sweet chaste kiss to Draco's lips and waved a little just before he closed the door behind him. Draco, dispelled the charm on the bed, turning it back into a heap of pillows. He placed the pillows on the window seat and made sure to leave the room nice for when they'd next return. He smiled at the room before he closed the door, looking back at the shining window, the eye that had watched as he and Harry and fallen in love. He already couldn't wait to return to it.

He shivered and turned to look behind him, feeling a bit of magic in the air. But then, if it was Filch, he wouldn't feel any magic at all. He shrugged it off and looked into the peaceful tower room one last time before closing the door and heading down the stairs.

Xx-XxX-xX

Draco was wringing his hands and pacing, "Tonight? Why tonight? I thought it was supposed to be the last day of school." He asked in a harsh whisper.

"Trust me, Draco." Snape said, his own face bearing the telltale signs of anxiety, "Be ready in two hours."

With that, Snape left the Slytherin common room, leaving Draco alone with his thoughts and his worries. He hadn't even really said goodbye to Harry. He'd thought he had more time but. He chocked back a sob that threatened to break his paper thin composure. He had to think, and he had to think quickly. He'd thought he'd decided what to do earlier, but in the face of the actual decision time he wasn't so sure. What if he was wrong? What if there was a better way?

He closed his eyes and sucked in a few calming breaths before heading down into his room. He sat on his bed and fiddled with his bracelet a little as he let his thoughts wander. Back to the same place they'd wandered before. What should he do? What were his options? What was the safest? What was the most loyal? What had the overall best outcome?

He was suddenly struck by a memory. The letter, the letter his mother had sent him. He hastily pulled open his bedside table drawer, moving aside all of the unimportant things until he found it. He'd long neglected the letter, finding little time to read it now that all of his nights were spent with Harry. He skimmed it first and then read it slowly, each word resonating in his mind until a few tears slipped down his cheeks.

He folded the letter and but in his pocket and then put his head in his hands, smiling slightly in bitterness through his tears.

He knew what he would do…

* * *

Well there you go. I'm sure considering the wait time you were expecting more. Don't be mad at me? *nervous smile*

So you see that button? You know the one I'm talking about. That's right, the review button. It's lonely and needs to be clicked. And you know… since you'll be helping the button anyway, you could write a few words about whether you liked this chapter or not.

But it's not for me really. It's for the lonely review button. Mhm, totally.

No but seriously though, review.

It helps me get the next chapter up earlier.

3


	43. Chapter 43

**A/N: The final chapter of this story. Thank you to all who reviewed and have stuck with me through my slow updating and my cliffie chapter ends. I'm very happy to finally see this story reach its conclusion. I got a lot of reviews asking for me not to let the story end badly and to give it a "happy" ending. But it's really not up to me anymore. The characters and the plot will push the story in the direction it needs to go. And not all stories can end the same. **

**I apologize to many of my reviewers who did not get a direct reply and thank you from me. There were just so many that I never got around to doing it. But I appreciate every single one. And I'd appreciate it even more if everyone reviewed this last chapter. For old time's sake? XD **

**So just so you guys know, and don't go all "wtf..?" while you're reading, I kinda mixed together the book and the movie when Draco and Dumbledore are in the astronomy tower. If you've seen/read both you'll see what I'm talking about. But for those of you who've only seen/read one or the other you might still have some Wtf moments. *shrugs* it's fanfiction. Deal with it. :P**

**Thank you to my many beta's who've helped me through this story. Latona Selene, Eulalie, Rainbow, and most of all my extra special Neko Chan who did the brunt of the work. She's awesome and deserves cookies. ^_^**

**Speaking of Betas, this chapter wasn't Beta'd. It's been finished for a while but poor Neko is so busy she hasn't been able to get it back to me. :[ … Buuuut, I felt so bad about the long wait that I decided to post this up anyway. It'll probably be reposted in the coming weeks. But still, if you see any mistakes, feel free to point them out in a review.**

**Enjoy the chapter. **

Chapter 43

Draco paced back and forth for a long time, twiddling his wand between his fingers. His thoughts only on how long it would take Harry and Dumbledore to return. He didn't want to even think about killing Dumbledore yet. Though he'd never been terribly fond of the Headmaster and his sparkling knowing eyes, he certainly never wanted to hurt him. Killing a person… in theory it should be simple. Human beings were not that strong, especially at the age Dumbledore was. It should be easy. Draco was luckier than he'd be if he were a muggle. Then he'd be reduced to using his hands, to being spattered with the hot, sticky blood of his victim; the evidence of his deed. As a wizard all it took was two words, a little intent and magical knowledge. There was no blood. There were no screams or mistakes; no victims left half dead for second chances at life. Except in the case of one…

Which brought him back to Harry. He was past the point of crying about it, far past the point of feeling the deep tearing pain in his chest, as though someone had decided to switch the blood that pumped through his heart with acid and broken glass. No, in the past two hours, Draco had matured far more than he had in all his previous 17 years combined. He hadn't hid from his sorrow, or tried to bury it. He put on the bravest face he could manage and let himself feel all there was to feel of it. He sank to the very depths of it, and upon reaching the bottom, and realizing he hadn't spontaneously combusted, he found new strength. He had faced the fathoms of his pain and stood strong. He could not feel any worse than he already felt, and so he was not afraid.

That did not stop it all, however. He knew he was doing the right thing and he let the adrenaline coursing through his veins dull the excruciating pain he would've felt to little more than a dull ache. But the pain had not left him, it was still there. And though it was overshadowed by the flurry of other emotions he was experiencing, he had no doubt that once he was away, in the safety of whatever coward's hideout he was escaping to, the pain would return full force. But he was not afraid. At least not of the pain in his own chest.

He was terrified for Harry. He wondered if the Gryffindor would have the strength to handle it on top of losing a second father figure. He wanted to believe in Harry's strength and power, but part of him wondered if the boy would be able to withstand it all. Draco himself had been very sure, not more than an hour ago, that he would die from the emotions that ran rampant through his body. One person could not experience such grief and live to talk about it. But he supposed it really wasn't possible to die from strong emotions. He hoped Harry would know that, and wouldn't run from it all, that he'd have someone to talk to, that he'd make it out on the other side stronger for his troubles. Harry had to make it out on the other side. He had to overcome it and defeat Voldemort or everything Draco was doing tonight would've been for naught.

He sighed heavily his pacing becoming quicker and quicker until his legs began to become tingly and almost numb. Killing a person…It wouldn't be easy. Though human beings were certainly not the hardest things to destroy, they weren't fragile either. Dumbledore wasn't defenseless. It was funny, how sometimes human life could be snuffed out as quickly and easily as a candle while other times, it would smolder and smolder and refuse to die out no matter how hard you tried to stop it.

The most ironic thing of all was, though what he was about to do would hurt Harry so deeply he might never recover, Draco might not have done it if they'd never met. If he had no reason to live, no reason to fight, he would've chosen cowardice and tried to run from Voldemort rather than face this impossible mission. But now that he was in love with Harry Potter, he'd found the resolve to kill Dumbledore for the greater good? It made little sense, even to himself. But it was right, and it was the only way, sense or no.

The door to the vanishing cabinet creaked open.

Draco's feet stopped dead in their tracks and his eyes slid shut.

"Ready?" Snape murmured to him.

"Ready."

Xx-XxX-xX

Harry was breathing hard as he returned to the astronomy tower with Dumbledore in tow. He threw his broom down and immediately went to Dumbledore's side, making sure the weak man was steady. But somehow, learning from Madame Rosmerta that the dark mark had been cast over the school had been like a shot of energy to the old man. From what depths that energy came from, Harry could not guess. He already had his wand out and ready, as did Dumbledore. But Harry had the added protection of the invisibility cloak.

"You must go and get Severus." Dumbledore started.

"But sir—" Harry went to interrupt.

He paused and looked at the door when he heard foot steps coming up the stairs. Dumbledore motioned for Harry to move back from the door and Harry obeyed without questioning. But he was tricked, though he'd thought Dumbledore wanted him to be ready for battle, the next thing he knew, he'd been charmed motionless and speechless. Before Harry even had a chance to question, not that he would've even been able to, the door slammed open.

Dumbledore, having wasted precious moments in securing Harry had barely raised his wand before the intruder shouted, "Expelliarmus!"

Harry watched in horror as Dumbledore's wand went skidding across the floor, far out of reach to the old wizard. He struggled against the magical bind, but was unsuccessful. He couldn't move, he couldn't speak, he could only watch. His eyes widening in fear and disbelief as Draco stepped forward from the shadows, his wand pointed straight at Dumbledore's heart.

Harry wanted to scream, and for a moment, he thought he felt the spell breaking under the sheer force of his will but it stayed in place. What was Draco doing here? Why was he… This couldn't be happening.

"Good evening, Draco." Dumbledore sighed softly with a small smile.

"Don't even start." Draco snapped, his voice stabbing at Harry like daggers, "Don't try to disarm me with your kindness."

"Ah but Draco, I know you don't want to do this." Dumbledore weakly tried to reason, his hands already coming up in surrender.

"Tell me something I don't know." Draco replied darkly, his wand shaking with the tremors what were most likely wide spread in his body. His eyes were wild, flickering around the room as he shuffled forward cautiously. It was then that he noticed the brooms. Two of them, to be exact.

Draco's eyes went back to Dumbledore's face shock and outrage written there, "Where is he?"

Dumbledore shrugged noncommittally, "You knew I would not be alone this night. Just as you are not. Or am I mistaken?"

"You aren't." Draco bit out as though trying to threaten, trying to scare Dumbledore into simply forfeiting a fight not yet even started "There are Death Eaters here tonight."

"Yes… It was you who figured out a way to let them in, I'm assuming." Dumbledore continued the conversation while Harry fought for all he was worth beneath the enchantments that bound him.

Why were they only talking? Why was Dumbledore acting as though this was a normal occurrence? Draco had apparently gone insane or something of the like. But no… he wasn't acting crazy. There was sanity and resolve settled in his pale eyes. But what was going on? Harry seemed so slow to catch up while Dumbledore and Draco seemed to understand everything.

"Of course it was me!" Draco replied, "It had to be me. No one else could."

"No, I agree." Dumbledore said nodding his head, "Only you could've done this. You're an extremely intelligent young man, Draco. But you're not a killer."

The challenge hung in the air for a long moment and Harry watched the emotions flicker over Draco's face, "You have no idea, Dumbledore. You don't know what I'm capable of." He bit out so roughly that to Harry, the words seemed to be those of a murderer.

"I know what you have done." Dumbledore replied softly and for the first time he looked grave and not prepared for Draco's words, "But I am curious as to how. How was it that you smuggled in the Death Eaters?"

Draco's arm slackened slightly, Harry was sure he was not the only one to notice it. And yet Dumbledore made no move to defend himself.

"There's a vanishing closet in the Room of Requirement. It leads straight to Borgin and Burkes. Even broken as it was, it was a huge oversight on your part to let it stay in the castle." Draco accused.

"Indeed." Dumbledore agreed without hesitation.

A yell sounded from outside the door and their attention was averted for a few moments. There was a fight raging out there.

"The Death Eaters on their way?" Dumbledore inquired.

"We met some resistance. Your Order of the Phoenix." Draco replied. It made Harry cringe. Not that his words had been particularly biting. But he'd said _we_. He referred to himself with Death Eaters.

"So then the mark in the sky was for one who died." Dumbledore reasoned.

"That was to get you to come here quickly. But yes, some are dead. And you will soon join them." Draco said, though he sounded to be reassuring himself and not threatening.

"Forgive me, Draco but I don't believe you." Dumbledore chuckled softly and Harry saw the flush of anger and embarrassment on Draco's cheeks, "If you wanted to kill me you've had plenty chance. I am here before you, unarmed and yet we have been only talking for some time now."

"You will die tonight." Draco said so softly that it seemed Dumbledore was convinced. There was no posturing in that voice, no dramatic or childish yelling. There was only seriousness.

"There are other ways." Dumbledore tried again, his voice passive and calm the entire time, his pale blue eyes never dulling their knowing sparkle as he sized up his teenage attacker.

"Other, but not better." Draco said, "If there was a better way I'd have taken it. This is best. You probably know that."

The sounds from outside began to get louder and louder and the conversation ceased for a moment as they listening. The fight seemed to be waging just outside the door it was so loud.

"You don't have to do this." Dumbledore continued, he was leaning against the railing, his legs seeming to be losing their strength with each long minute that ticked by.

In his mind Harry was agreeing _'He's right, Draco. Whatever you're thinking, stop! You don't have to do this. Just stop and look at what you're doing. Please!'_

Draco let out a weak chuckle that sounded more like a whimper, "And that, old man, is where you're finally wrong. I have to, or it'll fuck everything up for everyone. I have to… or he'll kill me."

Dumbledore sighed. Already there were more footsteps coming up the stairs and Harry was so angry and frightened and overwhelmed he didn't know what to do, what to think or feel. Not that he could've done much about it even if he'd been able to sort through his jumbled thoughts and found a course of action.

Only a few seconds before the doors flew open Dumbledore eyed Draco seriously and whispered, "We already have an audience."

It seemed to take the blond a minute to figure it out but he gasped and looked around, his normally cool eyes looking frantic and panicked, "_Here!_" he asked in a strained whisper and luckily none of the other Death Eaters seemed to notice as they filed in around him. Dumbledore only offered a nearly unnoticeable nod.

Harry wanted to scream again, but this time not at Draco. What the fuck was going on here? Why did everyone else seem to be in on this while he was just barely catching up? If Draco was the enemy, why would Dumbledore alert him to Harry's presence?

Bellatrix's laughter resounded through the astronomy tower and she patted Draco on the shoulder causing the blond boy to wince and jerk away slightly from her touch, "Well done, Dragon." She said leaning close to him. So close, Harry would've snapped her thin, insane neck if he'd been able to move.

"And we all thought you couldn't do it, but look at this. _He_ will be proud." She giggled maniacally.

The other Death Eaters, Harry had not seen before but they all looked to be surprised and happy that Draco had his wand pointed at Dumbledore's heart. They moved around the room slowly, like hungry wolves slowly closing in on their prey.

There was a bit of tense silence after the congratulations before Bellatrix shoved Draco's shoulder roughly, "Well? What're you waiting for?"

Draco didn't answer, his eyes busy flicking around the room looking for something he knew was there but couldn't see.

Another of the Death Eaters barked out a harsh laugh in a voice that barely sounded human, "So much for his success, he's too terrified to move!"

Bellatrix looked angry now, "You'll not mar the name of the Malfoys or the Blacks! Do it! Kill him!"

Draco's eyes were starting to look panicked again, his wand was shaking so much he would probably miss even if he did manage to loosen his tighten jaw to utter a hex.

"Stand aside." Snape said stepping forward and raising his wand, "We've no more time to waste." He's black eyes seemed to waver in indecision for a moment before his face set into the grimmest look Harry had ever seen on it, which was saying something considering Snape's usual disposition.

Dumbledore's face darkened considerably, "Severus." He pleaded with a whisper, "Please."

There were a few split seconds of time in which Harry fought so hard against the spells he thought he might faint from the strain. But it was impossible to stop now, he was frozen in place unable to defend Dumbledore. He could only watch, his heat pounding away in his chest as his ears heard the words he never wanted to hear again in all his life.

"Avada Kedavra."

Xx-XxX-xX

Draco flinched when the bright green light flashed through the air and hit Dumbledore straight in the chest. As soon as the light disappeared, he thought he heard the smallest of whimpers. Which could've well been his imagination but considering what the old man had said before the others had come for him, Draco thought it wasn't.

Dumbledore's body fell right over the railing over which he'd arrived and disappeared into the night.

"It's done then." Bellatrix said nonchalantly though it seemed as though she was a smidge disappointed it wasn't her family, or better yet, herself who'd gotten to stop Dumbledore's heart. But she was satisfied.

"Out of here, quickly." Snape snapped at the Death Eaters and they all obeyed rather easily, not questioning his authority.

Draco did not budge and even as the others quickly went out the door, Snape took one long stride to reach his godson and grab him by the back of his robes, moving to pull him to the door. Draco said nothing but pulled back against Snape's arm, he glanced over at the two brooms that lay abandoned in the corner and Snape seemed to understand.

He glowered but only muttered, "Time runs short." Before leaving the room in a flurry of dark robes. They would hold off the Order of the Phoenix and make the escape route for him. Draco could not care less about that. But he had to find if Harry was in this room as Dumbledore had alluded.

He took a few hesitant steps forward as though afraid the floorboards would open up and swallow him. Not that he didn't deserve such a fate at this point. He looked around the room before he whispered, "Harry?"

"How could you?" Came the softest whisper from a direction unknown. Draco tried to pinpoint it's origin but couldn't.

"You know I didn't want to." Draco replied before he glanced back over his shoulder at the door, "There is no time. Please, don't hide."

"How could you!" Harry only repeated, ripping off what could only be his invisibility cloak and approaching Draco. He grabbed Draco's arms and shook him hard, his fingers digging so deep into Draco's flesh there would surely be bruises.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Have you lost your fucking mind?" Harry asked his voice dry and strained.

"Take this." Draco said shoving a handful of paper into Harry's pocket, "I don't have time to explain and I didn't get the chance to even prepare. I can't explain. Anything I try to say won't be enough." Draco was speaking at a mile a minute, "There's no time. I still have to give Ginny the antidote and you have to go fight to protect the school and—"

"How can you still pretend you're on our side?" Harry questioned.

Draco rolled his eyes, "Just read the fucking thing I gave you!" He grabbed a handful of black hair and pressed his lips against Harry's wind chapped ones in a dry kiss, "I love you and that won't change." The blond muttered so quickly Harry wasn't even aware of just how important the words were.

"I have to go." Draco said pulled from Harry's slackened grip and running to the door.

"Draco!" Harry called before the now Death Eater could escape. He swallowed hard, obviously conflicted and still not quite understanding all that had gone on here tonight. But he seemed to have finally caught on to the fact that Draco had just said he loved him.

He tossed something to him and Draco caught it, when he opened his palm he saw a vial with a shimmering golden liquid in it.

"Get out of here alive. So I can punch you in the face for all of this later."

Draco let out a strangled chuckle that sounded odd even to his own ears before he nodded, pocketed the vial and ran out the door.

The steps threatened to trip him up more than once, his mind seemed disconnected from his body for a moment. So much adrenaline was pumping through his body that he felt as though he'd moved into another state of consciousness. The bloody fight that had been going on down here had moved. The Death Eaters were running and the Order of the Phoenix was giving chase. Draco nearly considered swallowing all of the Felix Felicis and taking off into the night. He was already unsure even the potions help would ensure he made it out on time. The Death Eaters would just assume he'd been killed and leave him here if he didn't meet up with them soon. What would it matter if he didn't give Ginny the antidote? He would already be thought a traitor just for going with the Death Eaters. What did one more wrong doing mean?

Draco groaned at his own sense of obligation and sprinted for the hospital wing. This is what hanging out with Gryffindors does to a person. Makes them loyal to the point of risking everything. Hopefully it made him courageous enough to see it all the way through. He remembered that Madame Pomfrey was supposed to have been waiting for Dumbledore in his office for him and after hearing all the ruckus there was no way of telling where she ran off to. But that left the hospital wing empty of all those but the ones too sick to run for their lives. Or the _one_ really.

Draco wasted no time, hastening to Ginny's side and pulling out the vial of the only antidote he had. At this point, calculating how long she'd been in her deep slumber plus her body weight, the phase of the moon they were at and everything else, the chances of Draco's antidote working were not very large. They weren't so slim it was impossible, but the margin for failure was large. Draco hesitated with the slim glass vial already poised at her lips, ready to be tipped back at a moments notice.

Suddenly he thought about something. Felix Felicis, it would make her lucky, wouldn't it? Help her chances? But Draco needed that potion to be able to get out of here. If he didn't his chance to go with the Death Eaters all that it's done would've been for nothing and he'd be no help to the Order as a spy in the future. He hesitated even more, sitting his vial down on the bedside table and pulled out the one he'd just received. He had no choice.

He was frustrated with never having any choices.

Draco uncorked the vial of golden liquid and tipped half of it past Ginny's slackened lips before swallowing the rest himself. It was a risky move. If he'd given all of the potion to one of them, he could ensure that at least one of them would live. But in splitting the potion may not have given either of them enough luck to live through this night.

He gently massaged Ginny's throat encouraging her to swallow faster as he poured the antidote into her mouth. He glanced over his shoulder, aware of each second that passed and widened the distance he'd have to run to catch up with his party.

Ginny coughed and sucked in a deep breath before coughing again. Her deep brown eyes snapped open quickly and she struggled to sit up but fell again, weak from lack of movement for so long.

"Stay in bed. It's safe here. I have to go." Draco said in a hurry before suddenly acting on the impulse to pull the redhead into a hug. He pulled away and held both her shoulders tightly looking straight into her eyes, trying hard to convey how much he meant his next words "Take care of him."

She was confused obviously but she nodded none the less, not that Draco really saw it. He was already sprinting out the door. Out of Hogwarts and away from Harry for Merlin only knew how long. But it was not the end. Now he understood how Snape found the strength, or at least he thought he did.

He had wondered in the past how Snape managed to bow to Voldemort and report back to Dumbledore without ever constantly switching sides. He often wondered if the man had even chosen a side or if he simply liked the safety straddling the fence could provide. But Draco knew beyond any doubt, as he ran to catch up with the Death Eaters, which side he was on. And even if none would see it now, even if in the history books he would be written as a traitor or never written in at all, even if Harry never found it in his heart to forgive Draco for his faults, he was immutable.

Draco would die before he saw Harry fail.

Xx-XxX-xX

Ginny was still weak but she was slowly awakening. Her dreams had been odd and often. The times she lay awake had been only a few. And the time she had truly been just asleep and did not even notice time passing had been plenty. So much so that she surprised even herself at how quickly she adjusted, as though she'd known all along this is the way things would be.

She shivered as vague flashes of dreams she couldn't remember flitted through her mind. But this wasn't the time for that. She had dressed hastily, putting on many layers of clothes to keep warm, her body quite weak and thin. She had followed the destruction that lay in the castle outwards. She heard the roar of whispers, the sound of sobs and followed it as though still walking in a dream.

She should've stayed in bed. She would've been safer there, just as Draco had said. But she couldn't. No one even noticed her leaving, their attention focused on healing the injured from the battle that had been fought here. She had to come outside, to find Harry. Because she just somehow knew, this was the moment that he needed her.

She could not get Draco's eyes from her mind. The look he had given her had been the most unguarded she'd ever seen on his face. She wondered if even Harry had ever seen him like that, though she assumed that he must've. Suddenly she understood how someone could fall in love with Draco. The things she'd seen of him all the years she'd known him had been washed away in his few hurried sentences. The two vials he'd left on the side table left record of what he'd done for her. And those eyes.

Pure and open down to the quick of his soul, begging her to look after Harry when he could not. She had never seen anyone so desperate before. It was the sound of his voice, the look on his face, the depth of his eyes that had truly awoken her. Left to her own devices she might've only rolled over and slept again. But he had left her with his urgency and the luck that she could feel rushing through her propelled her to the right place at the right time.

She slipped through the throng of students and teachers, even hearing some gasps as people recognized her. But most were focused on what lay in the center of the crowd. She reached the edge at last and there, laying still in death, was Dumbledore. She sighed softly, her heart sinking when she realized Draco had left her with no easy task.

Harry was kneeling beside the body of yet another dead loved one. He was watching Dumbledore's face, a blank look etched on his own. Hagrid moved forward and tried to pull Harry away but the boy would not budge.

She slipped forward silently and knelt beside Harry slipping her hand into his. He turned to look at her, his eyes not even widening in shock. His face was schooled into perfect serenity, his mind already working to stave of the storm it knew was coming.

"Come to the hospital wing with me Harry."

He stared at her, and seemed to consider the offer a little more than he would've had it been anyone but her. But he turned away resolutely and looked at Dumbledore again before replying, "No."

Ginny only smiled a little and simply stood, pulling Harry up with her. He stood obediently and she guided him slowly out of the crowd. The students helpfully parted for them. She didn't know why she knew he would follow but she didn't question it. He didn't need to be staring at Dumbledore's dead body right now.

"I'm not hurt." Harry half heartedly protested.

"Everyone is there. Ron, Hermione, Lupin, McGonagall." Ginny replied.

"Hurt?" Harry asked, alarm obvious in his voice.

"No." Ginny said, "But a few are. You need to be in the company of friends right now."

Harry didn't say anything further and Ginny didn't offer anything more. As they were walking through the silent corridors there came a sound. It started quiet but grew louder and louder. It was a birdsong. Not just any bird, a phoenix. The warbling voice was so sweet and sorrowful that Ginny's heart clenched as the sound seemed to travel through her. She struggled not to cry. She knew Harry could be faring no better behind her. Neither of them commented on Fawkes' song, but continued on to the hospital wing where Harry would have to break the news to a group of his friends.

'_Take care of him,' he says_ Ginny thought. They paused a little outside the doors to the hospital wing as Harry regained what little composure he had and tried to stay strong while the weight of the world threatened to snap him in two.

She looked over at his face, watching the way his eyes hardened. Harry's hand squeezed hers tightly.

_No easy task, indeed._

Xx-XxX-xX

Harry was only slowly coming to terms with all that had happened. Frequently, he would close his eyes and hope that if he opened them, it would all be over. He'd wake up from this terrible nightmare. But of course, he was awake and there was no escaping all of his troubles. Dumbledore was dead, Draco was gone… Two important people in his life taken from him in one fell swoop. And he'd had to stand and watch. He hadn't really gotten any time alone since that night. He was constantly surrounded by people, teachers and students trying to get him to tell them more about Dumbledore's death. When he could escape, it was usually only to the hospital wing, and even there, he wasn't alone. He was surrounded by close friends that weren't sure how to approach him.

Ron and Hermione constantly bugged him about what he planned to do now. With Dumbledore gone, everyone seemed to be looking to him for leadership on how their side of the war should proceed. Harry didn't even want to think about the war right now, let alone make any important decisions about it.

Ginny stayed by his side almost constantly, and he could tell everyone assumed they were back together again. She hardly ever let go of his hand. She was quieter, which was saying something considering she'd never been too talkative to begin with. It was obvious her magically induced coma had not simply been cured without side effects. She was thinner, weaker and consistently faint. She fell into deep sleep often and easily. She also fell into trances when she was awake. In her chocolate brown eyes Harry saw a wisdom that wasn't previously there. She'd always been clever and quick witted, but there was more than that now. Harry was curious, but not so much as to ask about it. He didn't want to know if she'd seen anything in dreams.

He was grateful for her company. She was unassuming and very comforting. But even with her by his side, it did not take away from the fact that Draco was gone.

The first time Harry managed to slip away was more than two days after Dumbledore's death. It was late in the evening and though there were no classes, the students were allowed to stay for Dumbledore's upcoming funeral. Harry ignored his housemates and closed his curtains before sitting in his bed. He couldn't find the will to lay down and make himself comfortable so he just sat for a few moments still not entirely accepting everything.

He reached into his pocket and fingered the bundle of parchment that Draco had shoved into it before he left. He was afraid to read it. Afraid that his fragile self control would shatter. But it was impossible to avoid. Hands shaking a tiny bit, Harry took hold of the parchment and pulled it out of his pocket. The first pages were stiff as though they were new and the last one was old and worn. He decided to read the new ones first. He bit his lip as his eyes grazed over Draco's handwriting.

Harry,

I've got not time to even explain but this was the only way for me to do this. As you should've read in my mother's letter it was impossible for me not to take the dark mark and god I'm sorry I had to. But now that I have the mark Voldemort controls me and I couldn't stay. I'm sorry.

I knew from the beginning of the year that I would have to kill Dumbledore. I never wanted to. Snape swore the unbreakable vow to help me complete the task if I couldn't. I'm so sorry, Harry. I know you must be feeling terrible right now but please stay strong. We'll get through this and defeat Voldemort.

I'll come back and help you. I don't know how long it'll take but I have to. I may be on the wrong side, but I won't let you lose. Don't give up on me. And please try to understand. I know you've already forgiven me for so much and I can't expect that you'll forgive me for this. But whether you hate me forever or not, I'm on your side. Never forget.

I don't know how long it'll take for me to work my way up his ranks. Considering I technically didn't complete either of the tasks he gave me. Keep Ginny close. Protect her and try to keep the fact that she's awake sort of secret. She can see some of Voldemort's thoughts.

I have to go. But by the time you read this, everything should be long over. I couldn't say I loved you while in secret I knew I had to kill Dumbledore. But now that you know everything. I love you. It's not enough to only write it but it's true.

Sorry this letter is so disjointed and is nowhere near enough to explain everything. Burn it when you're done reading.

You'll win this Harry.

I love you

The letter was unsigned but Harry knew Draco's handwriting well enough. It was scribbled quickly with splatters of ink and smudged words but Harry gently caressed the paper with his fingertips as though he was somehow touching Draco. He sat the letter down and picked up the worn folded parchment. He remembered this. Well not really, it could be any piece of paper but this was only dated for last August and looked as though it was ten years old. It had to have been read many times. Harry remembered when he first came to the tower room, when he first spoke to Draco, he'd been reading a letter and… crying. At the time he hadn't known how rare Draco's tears were.

He unfolded the letter:

My dear son,

I'm writing this letter to inform you of things you must know. In doing so, I risk my life so please, listen to my warning. I was there when you father told you to take the mark and you refused. I know what his response was and I know you were angry with me for not interfering but there are circumstances you're not aware of.

Your father may not be the kindest man but he does not want the Malfoy line to die out. He wants you to live; never question that. When the Dark Lord returned two years ago, your father was under a lot of pressure. The Dark Lord was very displeased with him and Lucius was to be punished severely. Instead, to gain the Lord's favor again he promised his loyalty and the loyalty of his family. The Dark Lord held him to his word.

They stole into the manor in the night, and bound you to the Dark Lord. I know you were unaware of this but do not be afraid. You will be safe as long as you take the mark. The bind stated that when the Dark Lord called for you, if you did not come, you would die.

Do not refuse him, Draco. You must promise both me and yourself you will do whatever necessary to survive.

I love you, my dear Dragon

Stay strong

Narcissa

Harry blinked as he finished reading the letter. No wonder Draco had cried. Harry crumpled the letter in his hand and hung his head. Suddenly, all of the times Draco said 'I _can't_,' made sense. He sighed softly and grabbed up both of the letters in his hand before pulling back the curtains and getting out of bed. He needed a shower and a good ten hours of sleep but he couldn't rest.

Somehow, even after reading the letters, it still felt unreal. But Harry was coming closer to realizing all that had happened. His heart clenched painfully, mourning the death of Dumbledore. But somehow, his sorrow over Draco's abandonment was lessened. Draco wasn't leaving him. He planned only on helping Harry. He was doing what was necessary. The Order needed a spy they could trust and obviously, Snape was a traitor. Draco had just understood the circumstances better than Harry had. Though Harry couldn't help but be angry that everyone seemed to like leaving him in the dark about things that concerned him, he was relieved that Draco's loyalties had not changed.

Harry opened the locket that hung around his neck. It had been empty, and before, Harry had been content to leave it that way. But he had finally found something suitable to put inside. He tore into part of Draco's letter to him, gently taking the one phrase he wanted to keep and ripping it out of the rest of the letter. He stared at the small piece of parchment on which, in Draco's graceful scrawl, were the words "I love you". Harry carefully folded it and placing it inside the locket. He smiled bitterly before he charmed it closed, not wanting it to ever fall open.

He walked down into the common room, Ron was holding Hermione in his arms and they were whispered about something. Ginny was sitting in an arm chair, her knees pulled up to her chest as she gazed at the blazing fire. They looked up when they heard his foot steps. Harry gave them a small nod of acknowledgement before he stepped forward and threw the letters into the fire. No one moved as they all watched the parchment curl and turn to ashes in the fireplace.

"I'm not coming back next year." Harry said still only looking at the fire, "I have to find the horcruxes and I have to end this damned war once and for all."

"I know." Hermione replied, "And I hope you know, you won't be going alone."

Harry turned to look at them and offered his friends a small smile, "We'll win. We have to."

It wasn't in Harry's character to be so confident in his abilities but his friends didn't comment. Harry nodded before he turned to go to the portrait hole. It was after curfew but the Death Eaters wouldn't be coming back. It was a warm early summer night, and as Harry passed windows he could see the sky was completely clear, the stars bright, the moon a small but shining sliver that hung high in the sky. It would be beautiful to look at from the window in the tower room. He needed that right now.

He needed to lay on the window seat and burry himself in the cushions that still carried Draco's scent. He walked up the narrow steps to the owlery; there was no landing where the door was, but there was one step that was a little wider than the others. Harry stopped on it but there was nothing so he continued up. The door must've been farther up that he remembered. He continued climbing the steps his eyes trained on the wall, the niches in the stone all empty.

Harry began to get a sinking feeling in his stomach but he refused to accept it. He continued up, thinking it must just be a little farther until finally, he reached the owlery. Harry's hand turned to fists as panic began to gnaw at his heart. He ran back down the stairs. He'd made this trip so many times. He knew what step it was. He knew how far up the door was. He stopped at the familiar alcove and looked in, but where the door had been there was nothing but smooth stone.

"No…" Harry whispered.

He fumbled as he pulled out his wand and cast a few secret revealing spells at the wall, hoping that the door would reveal itself. It didn't.

Harry threw his wand down and punched the wall not caring as the pain vibrated all the way up to his shoulder. Fate could not do this to him. How much had he already lost? He constantly gave, he constantly did the right thing. And yet, at every turn, something was being taken away from him.

"NO!" He screamed to the world that wasn't listening, "You can't take this too! You can't!" He continued to pound on the wall, forgetting his wand as it rolled away from him and down a few steps.

All of the frustration he'd been holding in forced its way out of him at once and he choked on his breath. His sorrow was so strong that it crippled him with its force. He slid down to his knees sobbing as his heart clenched. So real was the feeling that he checked to see if he'd been stabbed or not. He clenched his shirt just over his heart as he whispered Draco's name in both question and prayer.

Why… why did everything bad happen to him? He couldn't take it anymore. He began to think maybe it'd just be easier if he died. Ron and Hermione were strong. They could do it… They could kill Voldemort. The Order was strong and would recover from the blow of losing both Dumbledore and Snape. They would be able to fight the Death Eaters. No one needed him.

He just needed to rest. To close his eyes and sleep forever. He needed to hide away from this terrible pain that ached through every inch of his body. His head throbbing and his eyes burning. His muscles and joints tight from lack of rest. And his heart squeezing itself into nothing at the pain it felt in losing a part of itself.

Part of him registered that the physical heart that beat in his chest should not have truly been affected by the grief that he felt. But nonetheless, it was. He'd never understood the term heartache until this moment. Despite the fact that he knew there was no physical reason for this pain, it was very real and continued to twist in his chest over and over.

In his distraction he did not notice the person slowly climbing the stairs. But when the sound of footsteps penetrated into his otherwise occupied mind, he turned to look.

Ginny stopped to pick up Harry's wand before going up to Harry's side. Harry stared up at her, unable to say anything, unsure whether he wanted her to leave or stay. The fiery haired girl did not make any moves for a moment. Her face was serious as she looked up at the wall Harry had previously been pounding on. There were a few small smudges of blood from his scraped knuckles. She then looked down at him before crouching down to gently guide him into a sitting position, his back resting against the wall that had once lead to a place his heart still longed to return to. A place Harry would never be able to get back.

She sat down beside him and gently wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Harry, though still angry with the world let that emotion wane and simply fell into Ginny's arms letting her hold him.

Ginny said nothing the entire time as Harry clung to her like she was a rock in the tumultuous ocean that was the world.

Xx-XxX-xX

Miles away, in a dark basement Draco curled up in the corner. He'd already experienced what being a Death Eater was like after having to complete his first assignment since coming to the Dark Lord's side.

He had to interrogate and torture a muggle-born until they admitted that they were evil. And then he had to kill them, with his bare hands. It was the first step in being initiated as a true Death Eater. He'd be permitted to kill with his wand later.

His palms still stung from the feeling of the young woman's smooth skin. His ears still heard her screams of anger and her pleas for mercy. Draco was changed once more, aging further than he had even after leaving Harry.

And the pain, the deep ache in his chest never left. It was as though someone had reached inside and ripped out something vital. He clutched at his shirt just over his beating heart. But his mind was resolute. He would live through this; he had to.

When Draco looked back honestly on his life he realized that he'd never done anything very good, or even very noteworthy. But this, he could do. He hated being the weakling he had been for so very long and he knew that he had to change it himself. No one was going to help him out of the hole he'd been digging himself into. He knew the things he had to do, but he felt small beside the great tasks he needed to complete. He didn't know where he'd find the strength…

It was frustrating, logically knowing that his chances were slim and yet wanting so badly to make it. Many nameless emotions were churning inside him and he didn't have time to sort through them.

The door opened and Draco tried not to wince from the light. A few others who were also in the room all looked up wanting to see who would come and disturb them so late into the evening.

Draco looked up into Snape's dark eyes and just like that he knew something awful was again coming his way. It never seemed to end.

"Draco." Snape said firmly, "Come with me."

Draco only stared at the man for a few seconds. His face was placid but internally he was struggling with himself. He could give up. He could run off to his little coward's corner. He could let the Dark Lord kill him and never have to think about the war again. Did he have the strength to stand up? To leave this small haven of peace and venture back out into whatever horrors awaited him?

Only a few short seconds passed before Draco did stand up. He'd never felt so heavy before, as though gravity had just somehow become stronger. He felt as though he was very firmly anchored to earth; and something about that saddened him. He took a few more seconds to center himself before he nodded at his past professor, his face set in a serious frown.

And so, with his feet now set firmly on the ground, Draco stepped forward to meet his future.

Xx-XxX-xX

**That's the end. Thanks for reading and leave me a review. Sequel or no?**


	44. Note

**A/N: **

Hey everyone, this is me just reminding everyone that the sequel to Falling is _finally_ up. I want to thank everyone for their support. Some frequent reviewer questions are answered in the sequel too.

And hopefully, I can finally give these two the happy ending they deserve. :]


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